In January (2015) I was experiencing some odd symptoms, and even before this I was tired a lot. I’ve always been very quiet and reserved at school, so I don’t think anybody could tell how tired I was. Junior year I began procrastinating and my grades began to decline. Instead of getting A’s and B’s, I was getting C’s. I just didn’t feel like doing anything. I didn’t really think much of how tired I was until January.

One morning I woke up and put on my makeup and I noticed the whites of my eyes were a bit yellow. So I told my parents about it and they shrugged it off as me just feeling under the weather and they assured me that I would get better. But, instead of my eyes getting better, they got worse. My skin began to turn a bit yellow and my friends began to notice.

I made an appointment at the doctors to see what was happening. I had my blood drawn and they said that that my liver enzymes were way too high. Liver enzymes are what indicate if you have a healthy liver. Because they were all out of whack my doctors realized something was wrong and they sent me to have a few tests like an MRI, a CAT scan, and an ultrasound. These are imaging devices that can give you very clear pictures of what is happening inside of your body.

On February 24 I had the MRI and ultrasound and afterwards my doctor in Oshkosh called me back to her office. She came into the small examination room where my mom and I were waiting. I was expecting her to say everything was okay and that I just need to drink more water or something very simple. However, she told me something very different. She said that they had found a tumor on my liver, and that they didn’t know exactly what it was, but they had a feeling it was cancer. She said that I would need to go to Milwaukee Children’s hospital to find out exactly what it was. At first, I didn’t cry or say anything. I looked at my mom and she had her mouth wide opened. All she said was,

“This is crazy.”

As soon as she said that I began to cry. And my mom and I sat there and she began to cry with me.

I walked out of there and every single nurse in the office was staring at me with a sympathetic look on their faces. I didn’t want to believe that this was happening to me. I went home and I felt like I couldn’t go to school the next day. I didn’t want anybody to know. I didn’t want any attention or sympathy for it. I wanted to be left alone. My parents told my teachers about it so they knew I would be missing some school for appointments.

The next day, I went to school and my best friend already knew because my mom had called her mom. I was so happy she did so I didn’t have to say anything. I just cried and she cried with me. I remember people walking by and seeing me crying and I remember someone saying,

“Why is she crying?”

And it was not in a kind way at all. That made me so upset. This person didn’t even know what I was facing.

The rest of the day went by and people went on with their lives as if my life wasn’t turned upside down that what I was going through. It frustrated me that they couldn’t be understanding. But how could they? To them I was just another emotional teenage girl who was probably upset about nothing. I was probably such a drag to be around. Many teachers said I was such a godly example, but I didn’t feel like it at all. I felt angry. I didn’t want this to be my new life.

I went to Milwaukee many times. I was put on medicine, I was probed, I was poked, I was examined, and I was talked about. Every single doctor told me that I had cancer because they never see this in children. It is always older people and they almost always have cancer. Time and time again my mom, dad, and I would go away from the hospital feeling so discouraged. We didn’t find out that month if I had cancer, or the next month, or the next month. It was not until May that I found out that I didn’t have cancer.

On May 19th, I was opened up and my doctors found that my bile ducts were scarred and that my liver had non-alcoholic cirrhosis. But my liver is only working 20%, so I will need a liver transplant. My doctors said that they thought it was an autoimmune disease of some sort. Autoimmune diseases occur when the immune system sends out antibodies, which are supposed to attack harmful substances that invade the body, but instead the antibodies attack healthy cells, tissue, or organs. Doctors do not know why this happens, but there can be a number of factors that can contribute to the disorder, such as: genetic predisposition for the disease, environmental factors, and chemical irritants, or hormones. Also, women seem to be more susceptible to autoimmune diseases.

Since then, I have received so much encouragement and support. I couldn’t go on a long awaited missions trip, but I believe that I’ve learned more than I ever could on a missions trip. I have learned that I have so much. Even now, I know that I am not in pain, that I can walk and talk, and that I have great friends and family who love and support me.

My heart breaks for those who don’t even realize how privileged they are. I see people in worse situations than me and I understand that I am so blessed. There are children dying of cancer, there are parents whose hearts are broken because there little ones won’t live past this year. But no one is promised tomorrow. Anything can happen to anyone at any particular time. A liver transplant is not the worse that can happen. God has blessed me and put me here for a reason, maybe this is the reason. To share my story.

When Esther is scared to go before the king to tell him about the wrong that is being done to her people, Mordecai says something to her that I will always hold onto. This verse has become to mean something completely new to me. Esther 4:14 (ESV)

For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Maybe I was put on this earth to share this time in my life who may be struggling with something like this. There is a reason that Esther was in that place in that time. God knew her strength and what she was capable of. I’d like to think that there is a reason that I am here at this time for a reason.

As I wait for this transplant, I remember what Christ did for me on the cross. Isaiah 53:5 says,

But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.

I am a 21 year old black female and as far as childhoods go I had a sheltered one. My mother is a God fearing single mother that had a hard life and because of the things she went through she did her best to protect her children and to a point that was a good thing. I was a happy child for the most part I had everything a needed (not wanted).

But the down side was I wasn’t prepared for the world. I understood that bad people existed I just didn’t think they could affect me. So although I was protected from the cruelty that is this world, the consequence was I fell for the cruelty of others around me. It was my jr. Year in college and I was smoking a lot of weed and everyone around me was smoking with me. They say weed is just a plant, but it isn’t . That it can’t hurt you but it can.

One day I was smoking with my roommate and I went back to my room and laid down on my bed and then my eyes started to roll in the back of my head and I couldn’t stop it, I was so scared. So I did what everyone  does who grew up in church. I pulled out the bible and started to pray.

I didn’t learn my lesson though. I thought it was just that weed  and it wouldn’t happen again. But it was messing with my Spirit. So I decided that I would stop for a month and I did good for the first 3 weeks. But the 4th week I was tempted…. a lot. It seemed like the people around me didn’t want me to stop. But I made it  so I Thought I was safe. But when I started again I just didn’t trust it. So I stopped completely and since the then I haven’t smoked.

And I have lost 3 friends I Thought I was close too. One so-called friend rolled the window up while he was smoking (hot boxed) so I got a contact high when I told him I wasn’t smoking anymore. Another friend tried to blow smoke up my noise when I told her I gave smoking up for the Lord. This weed that is flowing so freely is not safe they have demonic spirits attached to them. I am on the path to GOD and I am trying to be a better person every day. I make mistakes and I am asking Jesus for help daily.

Long before I came to know Jesus, my life was all about me. I grew up with a brother and a sister. Both my parents were working abroad when we we’re little. My mother went home once a year every year to be with us and that’s the only time we are able to go to church. Frankly before, church was an obligation. I never saw the reason why we needed to go there. My mom and dad were born Catholics and as such my mom believed in saint’s and prayed the rosary, novena and everything was very traditional and it to me was certainly boresome.

My dad however, never believed in the church and most especially with the priest because according to him they too sin and have no right whatsoever to preach God’s word. Actually, we are all sinners and to say that we haven’t sinned is a lie. We were born sinners, a fact that not everyone wants to admit or even hear. To sum everything up, we are not religious except for my mom. Fyi, being religious and having a close and intimate relationship with our creator is different. Very.

I knew Jesus Christ from school, they taught us that but they never really emphasized how important He is. They told us that we should receive Jesus in our hearts in order to be forgiven and then poof! You are good to go. I really believed that that was it! That was during our communion ceremony. I was 10 years old at that time. I went on life as usual, everything about me, never really caring about others or what I’m doing is right or wrong as long as you don’t get caught by your parents it’s okay right? Or so i thought. I got away with almost everything. My parents were there but I wasn’t really guided by anyone. I did what I wanted most of the time even if it was wrong.

It was during grade school, I was in the third grade. My dad let in a stranger from who knows where–into our home. Nobody knew him, he wasn’t even a relative. He stayed with us for a week or so. One night, he snuck into my bedroom and did horrible things. I was scarred for life and this changed me forever.

Growing up I wanted to be popular, and being popular meant drinking and being close to boys and doing things that high school girls of my age weren’t meant to be doing. I drank a lot. I went home drunk every single night. Since my mom was abroad working, my dad was left home to watch us three. He never really watched us, he was just there being a dad. He seldom scolded me for coming home late every night cause he too was coming home late at night. It even got worse. Because I was getting a reputation at school, well, I just thought I had to buy my so called friends a drink because I was getting popular, I was getting the attention I’ve always wanted. This my friends led me to steal money from my dad. I stole a lot of money. My dad was noticing a bit one day but wasn’t really mentioning the problem to us till one day I had to really push it.

I had this boyfriend that I was so blindly in love with that I’d do anything for him so I was the one who spent a lot of money on our dates; I had no reason to do that. I just wanted him to love me more and to stay with me. I was naive and too infatuated with my so called boyfriend who eventually cheated on me. Thus this problem went on to my mext boyfriend, I spent my parents hard earn cash on him, he did not know that of course. I spent so much time with my lover that I stopped going to class.

I skipped three semesters without my parents knowing, I spent my tuition on bars, drinks, dates, gimmicks and anything that I thought would make me happy. One day, I got caught, It was the moat horrible thing that happened to me and because I was full of guilt and was so ashamed, I ran away from home. What was I to expect? Of course my parents would be mad at me and also my siblings. I had nowhere to go, I was lost so I decided to stay with my boyfriend. His family didn’t really approved of me running away from home, they only accepted me because I made up stories so they would feel sorry for me and they’d let me stay. It only took me a week and then I eventually went home and was forgiven. Well, it did not take long until I had to do it again, I did not know what my problem was, I just wanted to be with friends because they were fun and then back home everything was boring to me it’s like there is no home to me.

A home is supposed to be a place you can relax and feel safe, talk to people you love. My home never felt that way to me. I ran away from home thrice that my dad got tired of me and told me he didn’t love me anymore. Then one day I jut realized I had to get my life straight, I wasn’t going anywhere. I had to finish my studies. It was then that I returned to my old life and was okay going to class. I was doing well again in a long time but during those days, something bothered me and I wasn’t feeling well. I found out that I was pregnant. My whole world collapsed in front of me.

I was stressed and i didn’t know what to do or how to tell my parents. I have caused them so much trouble already that I don’t think they could handle another bad news. But eventually I had to tell them and wished myself good-luck. I told my boyfriends’s family first. They were not happy bout it of course. I got pregnant cause we were sleeping together when I stayed with them during that time I ran away from home. We had sex and lots of it. Unprotected. It took two years. I must admit that we did do it on purpose I just didn’t want it to be that early. I was 20 and stressed. That day I told my mom about it, she shattered, she broke down on the floor crying and I thought to myself how could I have hurt someone who loves me the most. I wanted to hide and just disappear from this planet. I wanted to die. I’ve caused them so much pain.

I admitted to my mom of what happened during my third grade, that I was molested by a stranger. My mom cried and told me that it might had some unconscious effect on me. It did, I craved for sexual pleasure after that incident. I craved for lust and I hated myself for that.

I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl nine months later. Her father and I decided to separate because we were too young and it wasn’t really working out and also for practical reasons. I finished my studies after giving birth and is a Registered Medical Laboratory Scientist now. There was this one day when I became curious of this video that a Christian friend told me about. The video of Angelica Zambrano, the girl who was taken to heaven and hell and she told of what was to happen that the Lord Jesus Christ is coming soon. I cried, I was literally sobbing after watching the video, I was so afraid because I have sinned so much. I asked for forgiveness from our heavenly father after that. I prayed for guidance because I was confused, I didn’t know what to do.

It’s been four years since I saw the video. I attend Christian church now. Although I am still struggling with my self desires, I know that the Lord would always help me for I am weak. (But you must learn to endure everything, so you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything JAMES 1:4) I still fail him every single day for I am not perfect. I pray a lot and ask for forgiveness a lot. I read his Word everyday and I promised I would for the rest of my life. (Romans 8:6 If our minds are ruled by our desires, we will die. But if our minds are ruled by the Spirit, we will have life and peace.) If we have decided to follow Christ as our savior, we must die every single day for him. We will struggle every single day knowing that there are great rewards in the end. I trust his promises for me even though people persecute me for my faith. I ask the father to forgive them for they do not know what they are talking about. Not many people take to heart the message even if they do listen. So, we must pray for them.

I would definitely give up everything for him. The least I could do is to live for him when he died for me on the cross. The happiness this brings is unexplained by any word. He is the greatest. His love conquers all fears. I surrender all my worries, future ambitions, past regrets, troubles and all my hurts to him for he knows me. He will never fail me. He loves me more than I could ever imagine.

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.

2 Chronicles 7:14

Firstly I would like to apologise to God for not writing this sooner: here I go. I am writing to testify that THE LORD JESUS CHRIST is great! And for me he has done an awesome thing.LORD JESUS you passed my LPC FOR ME!xxx What my mother could not do you have done for me, what my farther could not do you have done for me, what I myself could not do you have done for me.

Plain and simple after 5 emotional and stressful years I was going to walk away without my LPC through failure. After paying over £12,000 people I was about to walk away with nothing. I took my first exam Business Law and Practice in March 2009 which failed, and have struggled to succeed since then. I worked full time, attended the library on a weekend and always felt unprepared, I had no time to study the way I needed to and was always overwhelmed. When I say it was emotional, I felt it because I had never experienced failure like this in my life: I had failed 4 modules; totalling 2 cores and 2 electives. The worse thing was I only had two more chances to pass each of these exams. The pressure from that knowledge alone was immensely high. JESUS when I think about it I thank you. This reality paralysed me with fear for the next five years, every time it got close to a re-sit date I was paralysed with fear and I backed out.

In the academic year 2012 I decided to resist one of my electives, which I did. This one was a bit of a hard task because I did not attend a couple of workshops. So what I did not know, through the grace of the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, JESUS CHRIST himself taught me, imagine THAT not the lecturer but JESUS. The LORD JESUS gave me an ability and understanding for these topics I had never had before (it reminds me of Daniel chapter 1, where God gave the 3 Hebrew boys an unusual aptitude for understanding every aspect of literature, and wisdom. In fact before I study or do anything work related I ask God for this same aptitude.). With this particular exam, there are topics that come up on every occasion, and there are some that randomly appear; so in other words the whole topic must be prepared, which I did. But I dreamt a few days before the exam one topic in particular came up in the exam. I knew CHIRST JESUS was trying to tell me something so I promised JESUS CHRIST I would prepare that answer for the exam, which I did. I got into the exam and what was starring at me, the question CHRIST JESUS had led me to prepare an answer for. So I answered the questions and guess what I passed by the grace of my LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST!

You would think that with that victory I would continue, but no I was paralysed with fear again and spent the next 3 years hiding from these re-sits. That is until I could hide no more. After 5 years you cannot re-sit; the course expires. Whenever an exam would approach I never felt prepared. There were just volumes for me to get through, and the courier of time had meant that there were new updates in the law; which meant at times I had to learn independent of tutors new concepts not taught to me before. Personal problems, a lack of self-esteem, and a lack of time meant I had little opportunities to study the way I needed to prepare for my exams.

In June of last year I was suppose to sit one of my electives, but again through fear I chickened out. But significantly one evening whilst I was praying I believe I heard ” lean not on your own understanding” proverbs 3:5. That word of GOD encouraged me and remained in me. Even though I was scared I knew JESUS was with me, and was going to help me. I leaned not on my ability or understanding of how I was going to pass these exams, but on JESUS. But I was hopelessly scared, the physical reality was that I was about to leave empty handed after 5 years.

I had a couple of weeks before I had to sit all three exams and had little time to complete all subjects. I remember I was in the library crying because I knew I was going to fail, the task was beyond impossible and way above my ability to cope. I had even met one of my tutors who laughed because he new what I was trying to achieve was impossible. He even asked me whether I need to do it, but I looked him in the eye and declared in my heart that by the grace of GOD “oh I will do it” I said to him.

The agents of discouragement seemed to be positioned for action; I vividly remember being in the library at one point, I had just left the study room and by chance got myself entangled in a conversation with another student. When I explained my circumstances she began to scream in pity for me, that the whole library looked up in concern. My fellow colleague tried to persuade me to back out, and use extenuating circumstances to ask for a reprieve. I was tired of backing out, I had wasted 5 years backing out, this time I was going to face my problems head on and escape like the children of Israel did from Pharaoh and his army in the Red Sea. And I knew if I took that road I would not be successful and I would fail all together.

At this point whilst defending my actions, I new I could not do it but I believed JESUS was going to do the exam for me and that’s what he did. That day in the library whilst crying I had a break down and declared I was finished. But once I stopped crying I asked GOD what should I do, and I was encouraged by GOD I believe to read, so I continued to revise. That same time I searched the internet for testimonies from students faced with my dilemma and behold there was a whole website dedicated to these testimonies (TESTIMONY SHARE) where JESUS had helped those who cried on him faced with a similar predicament as my own. I vowed to GOD THE GREAT I AM that if he would see me through I would give my testimony on this website and on Facebook. That I would take down my pictures on Facebook that represented my lifestyle outside of CHRIST JESUS.

Most days I could not even revise because of fear; I was still going through personal problems at the same time, it was all too much. But one thing I will say about CHRIST JESUS, is everyday and every night his HOLY SPIRIT was with me, he would comfort me especially those days I’d leave the library in fear crying until my eyes were blood shot red. At times I could not breath, the anxiety and pressure was too much, I thought I was going to die; I did not want to be a failure. But every night without fail I’d feel his presence comforting and reassuring me, so I’d wake up refreshed and revitalised ready to fight again. One evening I came home from the library early because of a panic attack, I did not eat that night because I cried myself to sleep. I believe that night beautiful JESUS CHRIST woke me up and encouraged me to eat. This shows me just how much JESUS loves me.xxx. And there was another moment of weakness where I was fasting for GODS help concerning another problem, I was physically and emotionally weak yet still trying to fix things. At that point GODS word in ZECHARIAH came to me: Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts. (Zechariah 4:6 KJV). There are situations which require more that human strength or sometimes our strength fails and so its by GODS strength we need to trust in.

There is one significant thing I have learned about JESUS. JESUS is the GOD of encouragement and direction. JESUS encouraged me through my tutors. I had to meet with my tutors as this was my final attempt. The previous year I retook one of my modules and failed, I was a few marks away from passing. I sat down in my tutors office and she exclaimed “I don’t know how you did it”. By the grace of JESUS, I completed half the exam and almost passed, all I needed was a few more marks. I barely answered the exam questions and there were answers where clearly I knew I did not know what I was doing. In other words what I had achieved through the grace of JESUS was impossible. It began to dawn on me, How did I do it? By the unusual ability JESUS gave me.

My tutor said no matter what I needed to complete the exam. This encouraged me to take the exam, and I was determined to finish it, if GOD could give me the grace to get almost half the marks having not completed the exam, imagine what CHIRST JESUS could do when I finished the exam. I have learned that having grace does not mean I should be lazy. GOD requires us to do our bit and he will do his. The children had to take the physical step to leave Egypt. But it was GODS grace that made them successful. GOD turned Pharaohs heart, parted the Red Sea and provided mana when they were hungry. God helps those who help themselves. The word of GOD In Ecclesiastes 11 says “Send your grain across the seas, and in time, profits will flow back to you.”).

I believe JESUS was showing me that he was with me and directing me by explaining through my tutors I needed to finish the exam papers. I was greatly encouraged by this. JESUS was directing me every step of the way.

FUTHER HELP AND ENCOURAGEMENT FROM JESUS: That very year JESUS placed me in a job where I could learn first hand I believe a topic I was studying (this was not the first time JESUS had done this either, JESUS did this with another module I believe). JESUS blessed me with a beautiful friend who encouraged me in JESUS with scriptures from the bible on a daily basis, and shared her notes with me for my core subjects, which enabled me to update my notes. Everyday through this encouragement I became so confident in JESUS CHRIST, I knew I would pass because he owns the world and can do anything. JESUS blessed me with an unusual aptitude and wisdom for the subjects I was studying, which is what I prayed for everyday (Daniel, chapter one is where I got this prayer from, because JESUS blessed the three HEBREW boys with this gift). No lie, I understood concepts which were beyond my ability before, nobody taught me but I know and believe JESUS gave me the ability to do it. Not only did I understand but JESUS gave me the ability to remember what I’d learned. Just to reinforce the fact that JESUS was with me every step of the way, there was this particular topic that I had a burning desire to cover (I think it came up in my re-sit the year before) and guess what that topic came up in my exam. JESUS was with me every step of the way guiding me.

JESUS I believe arranged my life so that I would be in a position to pass last year, because I know where he has promised he will take me and I believe by his grace I will make it. The only difference is now I know my success is not for my own enjoyment, but with all of us JESUS has a purpose and plan for us the lifts him JESUS up before all creation; and I am honoured to be a vessel. Its a burning desire of mine to be a vessel.

After five weeks of stress and agony, of constant and intense learning and revision of three major topics, it was the day before the exam. I went to church, chatted with my friends at church and had an ice cream with the children at church. I don’t believe I even revised that night, the most I did was put my folder in order. It was resolved in me that JESUS had already passed these exams for me. I believed JESUS had done it.

The next day, I got into the exam, and I froze, I don’t know why but I did, my mind went blank and this was a subject I felt I could do blindfolded. Furthermore a topic came up in the exam that our tutor explained possibly would not because we were tested on it previously, and it hadn’t come up in previous years. But, I completed the exam, baring one question. I thought I’d failed terribly. However, I went onto my other two exams. In one exam as I entered I saw this guy curled up in his seat in agony and distress but I was focused on JESUS, I just finished worshipping and I trusted in JESUS alone. By GODS leadership and grace what I had revised was on the exam, and I answered the questions as best I could. After I left the exam there was another student complaining how hard the exam was, but I was not going to allow his comments to distort my faith in JESUS. By GODS grace I got to the final exam, and I completed it in peace and in ease, as I was finishing I said to GOD wouldn’t it be funny if I got less for this exam that I completed than the one I didn’t. And low and behold I passed every exam by his grace but got less marks for the one I finished than the one I did not complete (it was not a tremendous lack of marks). I believe JESUS did this to show me he is GOD and so very in charge of everything that relates to me. Amen.

I completed my LPC at just the right time in my life, I am completely sold out to CHRIST JESUS by his grace, and I believe that this opportunity that he has given me in my career will be used to his glory. Amen.

The purpose of me writing this testimony is to encourage you to put your trust and hope in JESUS CHRIST ALONE! Believe me he won’t fail you. If you are not living according to his ways repent and turn back to JESUS don’t be ashamed, JESUS loves you and wants you to succeed in physical life but most importantly for you to make heaven. I believe your physical accomplishments make you a witness. What is there in this world that JESUS would not do for you (as long as its in line with his will for you.) If our GOD could humble himself by leaving his throne in heaven to die upon a cross so you and I can have eternal life, think about it he saved us from hell and destruction. Tell me can he not rescue you out of your dilemma ? JESUS parted the Red Sea, and he’s the GOD that has the ability to walk on water. JESUS is still in the business of changing peoples lives, the invitation is here now, accept him by believing in him the SON OF GOD. If you have never known JESUS then give your life to JESUS our LORD and SAVIOUR today. JESUS loves you, he did it for me and can surely without a doubt in my mind do it for you. Amen.

Praying for Exam Success

June 4th, 2015

I wrote an exam a few days ago that was my 3rd try and when I came out of it I felt disappointed in what I had put down after overthinking everything. For the first time in a long time though, I actually started praying for the Lords help for when the results come. I know that God listens and he wants us to be persistent in our prayers, which is why I pray everyday.

Lord, I pray for your presence in my life always, and in my time of need.

Dewey Dovel Testimony

May 21st, 2015

My Testimony

*Note: The text and numbers that are included in parenthesis are references to verses in The Bible. They are included for support and encouragement to all who read this testimony.

This is my personal testimony regarding how Jesus Christ has changed my life:

Introduction:

Process. This single word can be used to summarize my relationship with Jesus Christ. Defined as “a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end,” the process of which I am referring to is God sculpting me into the “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) masterpiece that He has created me to be. The “series of actions/steps” involved in the sculpting procedures are never-ending and I will not be a finalized work until I reside in The Kingdom of Heaven (1 Peter 5:10). However, my journey with Christ during my Earthly life is not one of perfection, but of direction. Although that journey tends to be ever changing and unpredictable, the direction always remains constant- Steadfast pursuit towards “the narrow gate” (Matthew 7:13-14) with the Heavenly Father as my guide (Psalm 32:8). With each passing day, God continues to mold me into the Disciple I was created to be (Isaiah 64:8). Throughout the course of this eternal walk with God, it is only Him that I wish to receive glory, honor and praise; I am merely a vessel at the disposal of my Master (2 Timothy 2:21). The Lord has placed it on my heart to publicly share my story of being redeemed by His Grace and Love, and it is my prayer that through the sharing of my testimony, God’s Love can be witnessed and received by somebody who comes across this text. To all reading this, may The Lord bless you and keep you everyday of your life (Numbers 6:24), and may you come to experience the greatest love this world has ever seen through a relationship with Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:4-5)! Never forget: God loves you more than you could ever fathom no matter who you are, where you come from or what you have done in your life (Romans 5:8)!

Some background information about my life, and the mission that The Lord has placed on my heart to carry out:

My name is Dewey Dovel, and I am a Disciple of Jesus Christ. My mission for my life is to do everything in my power to spread The Gospel to all of creation (Mark 16:15), while sharing God’s Love in my words and deeds (1 Corinthians 16:14). I want to be a “fisher of people” (Matthew 4:19), and a bold witness for The Lord (Acts 4:29). I want to live my life as a humble servant of The Kingdom of God consecrated to our Heavenly Father in order to fulfill my life’s purpose: Complete devotion to carrying out “The Great Commission” (Matthew 28:18-20). I have been called to preach The Gospel, and I will do so as enthusiastically, eagerly and passionately as I can (Romans 1:15) while being as obedient as possible to the direction and guidance that the Holy Spirit provides me with throughout the course of my ministry/life (John 16:13). I couldn’t feel anymore blessed or humbled in regards to where my life is taking me, and in the fact that God would anoint me with a future of proclaiming His Message; As the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:16: “For when I preach The Gospel, I cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach The Gospel.” I truly am compelled to preach The Truth that is Jesus Christ (John 14:6) and the love that He has for the WHOLE world (John 3:16). I believe that there is no greater message to be shared in our world, than the message that is God’s Love for humans exhibited through what Christ did for us on The Cross (1 John 4:10). It is His everlasting love that millions in our world today are longing for; They search to fill the void in their lives with anything they can find to satisfy the eternal emptiness that encompasses their hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Millions relish in temporary sin and pleasure to escape from the problems that they are faced with on a daily basis only to be disappointed and further grieved as their efforts to escape prove to be futile (Hebrews 11:25). Many individuals are searching for truth to the seemingly endless questions that are present in our world while longing for a better tomorrow (John 18:38). Our world wants change, revolution and solutions to fix our society and rescue mankind from the pits of our own self-destruction! It is only through Jesus Christ that we can witness a transformation in the hearts of humans (Ezekiel 36:26). Only through Christ can man find the solution to its problems and fill the void that is present at its core (Psalm 16:11). Only through Jesus Christ can we experience the hope and change we long for as a world (1 Peter 1:3)! It is through Christ alone that my life was forever changed! He has brought me a renewed life filled with joy, peace, rest and hope for my future. In placing your trust in Him, He will do the same for you! (Matthew 11:28-30)

Prologue To My Testimony:

Now I know this introduction of who I am might make me appear as if I have had my life together from day one. Many people that I have shared these aspirations and desires for my life with are blown away by my passion and zeal I have for what God has called me to do; Many are quick to note that the typical 20 year old college student would much rather be intoxicated with the world than intoxicated with the Holy Spirit! Truthfully, I wish I could honestly say that the man described in my introductory paragraphs was the man that I have been since day one. As I alluded to towards the end of the previous paragraph, that man being described couldn’t be any farther from the man I was before I met Christ! As a matter of fact, the man described in the previous paragraph does not paint an accurate picture of the man that I was the first 17 years of my life. In actuality, my past paints a clear picture of the two faced, narcissist, porn addicted, insecure, spiritually lost young man that I was until the moment when The Lord rescued me from the clutches of worldliness. It wasn’t until I turned to Jesus Christ, repented (turned away from) of my sin and accepted Him as my Lord and Savior by receiving Him into my heart by faith that my life was changed. It wasn’t by good works or anything that I ever did to earn my salvation or righteousness in the eyes of The Lord, but it was God’s Grace alone that saved me from my hopeless life (Ephesians 2:8-9). It was through God’s Power manifested through the Holy Spirit that regenerated my life, and continues to direct the course of my life on a daily basis. Jesus Christ set me free (John 8:36), and gradually pulled me out of the abyss that was Satan’s grasp on my life. It was at The Cross where my life was changed forever; As I discovered from personal experience, it is ONLY at The Cross where our lives can be made new, and restored eternally through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17-19)!

Testimony:

I grew up in a household with a family strong in their Christian faith. As a child, I constantly sought my parent’s approval and did everything I could to make them proud of me. My parents showered me in nothing but love, and I couldn’t be anymore blessed or thankful to have them as my parents. I loved nothing more than the feeling of pleasing my parents, and over the course of time I made it my top priority to receive attention and praise from them. However, as I began elementary school it didn’t take me long to realize that it would take a different kind of behavior in order to stand out in front of my classmates. From my perspective at the time, the behavior that was necessary to obtain attention from my peers was not the same behavior that my parents had taught me during my childhood. I knew that in order to be “cool” and “fit in,” I would have to act in a way that was similar to the people I was surrounded with. Although this behavior would not reflect how my parents raised me, I was willing to do whatever it took to win the approval of my peer group. After all, garnering attention and praise from my parents had always been great, so naturally I assumed that any kind of attention received from my peers would be equally as satisfying. I wanted popularity, I wanted acceptance and I was not going to be labeled as average. My desire for self-gratification and attention was so powerful (even at a young age), that I began to act out in any way possible to be the center of attention. The line that divided right and wrong became a blur to me as I starved for prominence in my social circle; Because I believed it would make me “cool and grown up,” I began to swear at the age of 7. In a short amount of time, my flamboyance and ostentatious antics began to gain me the notoriety that I hoped for. In reflection, the publicity I was receiving from my classmates was more negative than positive. Nevertheless, I was satisfied that people were paying attention to me. Like it was with my parents (in my eyes), the actions of Dewey Dovel were the focal point of my peers. Unfortunately, I got to the point to where I was living two lives: the one my parents saw at home while I was in their presence, and the one I lived when I was around my peers. This was only the beginning of my gradual start down a slippery slope that only led to feelings of emptiness, discontentment and inadequacy. Before long, my growing thirst for social acceptance and conditional happiness would reach such a point that nothing could quench it. Heading into the genesis of my adolescence, I was in trouble.

I was confirmed and baptized at Crossroads United Methodist Church when I was 11 years old. As I previously noted, my family was strong in their faith, and as far as I was concerned I had inherited their faith/religious beliefs. We attended church as regularly as we could, and from conversations with my parents in addition to what I learned at church, I had a decent idea (for an 11 year old) about who Jesus was, and what He did for mankind. I also knew that if one was a Christian, they got to go to Heaven and at the time that was enough for me to want to be a Christian. After all, in my thought process I determined that one would be crazy to not want to go to Heaven! It was also around this time that I discovered that many of my classmates were beginning to be baptized or had already been baptized. I did not want to be left out of something that appeared to be the popular thing to do amongst my peers. So around the beginning of 6th grade, I began to ask my parents if I could be baptized since I was a “Christian.” I told them exactly what I knew they wanted to hear: “I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins and I accept Him as my Lord and Savior.” Sure enough, my plea for their approval regarding my baptism was good enough to receive their blessing. Following a “Confirmation” process through our church, I was baptized and I couldn’t have been any happier! My parents were so proud of me, and now I finally had the justification to brag to my classmates that I was baptized. Looking back, in my heart I know that although I had been baptized and had “accepted” Christ, I had not fully surrendered my life to Him; I had not truly accepted Christ into my heart, but merely said the right things to appease my parents so I could do what I believed to be the popular thing to do at the time. The fruit (or lack thereof) that was produced (See Matthew 7:15-20) in my life for the next 6 years would prove that I was still as spiritually lost as I was before I was baptized. Honestly, things only got worse for me (spiritually/emotionally/socially) from that day forward for quite some time.

My life was a blur from that day forward. On the surface, things were looking great; I was excelling in school and in baseball. My parents couldn’t have been any more proud of the man I was becoming. I was attending church weekly, and proudly proclaimed that I was a Christian to my peers. Life was about as good as it could have been, or so it would appear to be from the outside. Truthfully, reflecting back on my life from 11-17, I couldn’t have been anymore miserable. At the age of 13, I became addicted to pornography. My misery was fueled by this powerful addiction and the effects of my newfound obsession would prove to be tumultuous. I was fascinated with the visual and physical temporary pleasure that pornography offered me. I knew from my parent’s instruction that premarital sex was wrong, and somehow to this day I have abstained from it. However, my mentality soon became that if I could not have sex, I was going to get all the sexual satisfaction I wanted from what online pornography had to offer me. It did not take me long to become consumed with lust, and buried deep in the trap that is porn. Also, my language and dialect was very inappropriate; It felt as if every other word I said was a curse word, and try as I did, I could not stop cursing by my own power. What had begun as an attempt to sound cool to impress my peers had now become words that were rooted deep within my vocabulary. Worst of all, as middle school progressed into high school, my efforts to win the approval of my peers were failing. Out of frustration for what I perceived as a lack of my classmate’s appreciation of me, I began to treat many of my peers very poorly, and from that moment forward I felt that the only way I could get any attention was to act out in negative ways. This would result in me spending more time in the halls exiled from class than actually in the classroom. Because of growing insecurity of my public perception, I began to brag about my ability to play baseball and would lie/exaggerate about anything that could make me appear honorable to my classmates. I was completely enslaved to my desire to be popular, admired and accepted. Seeing my continued failures of gaining social acceptance only compounded my despair. To counter my growing depression, I turned to pornography even more and used it as an outlet to escape my self imposed “problems.” Pornographic material provided me with a temporary outlet to satisfy myself and take my mind off of my growing social failures. I began to fall deeper and deeper into worldliness, which only magnified the temptations that were present in my life. Of course, with no Biblical foundation or relationship with God, I had no power of my own to withhold from porn or other forms of sin that I clearly knew were wrong. I trudged through my first two years of high school before I changed schools. The change of schools was the most difficult thing that I had endured at that point of my life. Not only was I separated from the few friends I had at my previous school, but I became a social outcast at my new educational institution. I can’t begin to express the depression I felt on a daily basis during my junior year of high school. I had zero true friends and felt lost and alone. Granted, I had completely brought everything on myself. I was difficult to relate to, made little effort in participating in fellowship with my new classmates and distanced myself socially in fear of being rejected. As my senior year of high school rolled around, I was at rock bottom spiritually, emotionally and socially. I was deeply depressed, and I began to feel more alone than I had ever felt in my entire life. I had no desire to live, and thoughts began to cross my mind as to if anybody would even care if I died. In my opinion, my life lacked purpose and I felt as if my future had no direction whatsoever. All of this led up to November 18, 2012 when my life was changed forever; It was on that date that I met the “Prince of Peace” for the first time in my life (Isaiah 9:6). In a matter of minutes following my introduction to Him, my life was never the same.

It was Thanksgiving Break. I was at my Grandmother’s house alone, and I was deep in thought on the living room couch. Nothing in my life seemed to bring me any satisfaction. I felt exhausted spiritually from carrying the weight of my sinful baggage that I had accumulated from years of pornography addiction, self imposed social rejection and insecurities surrounding my public image in the eyes of my peers. I didn’t know where else to turn, and as far as I was concerned life had lost its appeal. In hindsight, I was so consumed with the negative effects that my sin was having on my life that I was completely oblivious to all of what I had been blessed with. I had a full college baseball scholarship, I was set to graduate high school with honors and my family had provided me with virtually everything that I had ever asked for. Yet in the midst of it all, I could only dwell on my countless failed attempts at obtaining the social clout and attention that I craved. At some point during that emotional “pity party,” I took out my cell phone in preparation to watch a pornographic video in order to escape from the onslaught of my despairing thoughts. As I took the phone out of my pocket, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a small book sitting on my Grandmother’s coffee table. For whatever reason, I decided to pick it up and see what it was; It was a daily devotional book! Intrigued, I put my phone back in my pocket and started flipping through the pages and realized that there was a specific devotional for each individual date for every day of the year. I proceeded to turn to the November 18 devotional (the date of that particular day) and began to read the contents of the page. Immediately, my eyes burned from the tears that began to form, and before long I was weeping in the middle of my Grandmother’s living room. Everything that I had been going through in my life socially, emotionally and spiritually was written on that page. It was as if I had given an interview of my life to a reporter, and I was reading the notes that were taken over what I had said. After I finished reading the devotional, I did something that I hadn’t sincerely done in over 6 years- I prayed! In prayer, I asked God for the forgiveness of my sin, and begged for Jesus to come into my heart. I pleaded to my Heavenly Father that He would help give me the strength to change my life, turn away from my sin and restore it in such a way to remove my pain, insecurities and depression. Following my prayer, I felt a greater peace than I had ever felt in my entire life. Nothing special happened to me physically, but in my heart I knew that something had changed. At that moment, I officially was Born Again (John 3:3)! It was November 18, 2012 that I secured my eternal citizenship in the Kingdom of Heaven. From that day forward, God began to transform every facet of my life! (Romans 12:1-2)

Through the power of The Holy Spirit, I put on “the new self,” (Ephesians 4:24) or became a new Dewey Dovel! Obviously, the change I was undergoing was a process; I did not overcome my life of habitual sin overnight. However, the more I prayed, and the more frequently I read my Bible, the less attractive my old lifestyle trends became. I actually began to have success in overcoming the temptations in my life that were causing me to stumble and experience the heartache/inadequacy that I had been feeling for so many years. Slowly but surely, my language and dialect became more appropriate (Ephesians 5:4 & James 3:11). Over the course of a year and a half, my battle in overcoming pornography addiction was complete through the Power of Jesus Christ! I discovered that the Power and Authority I had in the Name of Jesus was far more powerful than my lustful urges and sinful nature (Luke 10:19)! Also, The Lord freed me from the domineering insecurities of pleasing all of my peers. I began to solely focus on living out God’s Will for my life to the best of my ability, and showering my Brothers and Sisters in Christ with love; In time my concern for popularity/social prestige vanquished (Galatians 1:10 & 1 Thessalonians 2:4). To my surprise, the less I focused on being popular and forcing my peers to like me, the more my peers showed me their approval/favor. Nearly a year following me becoming Born Again on that November afternoon at my Grandmother’s house, God called me to preach The Gospel. In June 2014, I was baptized again firmly solidifying my full circle in being transformed by The Lord into a New Creation! To make a long story short, God changed my life. It was through my faith in Him, and the encouragement He gave me through what The Bible teaches us about His Love that I could be set free from my life of sin (Romans 6:15-23).

Honestly, overcoming my sin was not an easy task and to this day I still struggle with the same temptations I faced before I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. The change/transformation of my life was not instantaneous, and it was not always smooth sailing. There were many periods of frustration and confusion. There were occasional instances in which I would suffer a temporary relapse into pornography or cursing. To this very day, I continue to fall short of God’s Standard (Romans 3:23). Yet in the midst of my sanctification process (it is a life long process of being further consecrated wholly unto God- Ephesians 5) I am constantly made aware that as a genuine regenerate Follower of Jesus Christ, I am not identified by my sins (so long as I repent, or turn away from them- Acts 3:19). I will continue to make mistakes, and I will let down God and my peers more times in my life than I could ever keep track of; But I am redeemed and set free of it all SOLELY by the work of Jesus Christ! The righteousness of Jesus Christ has been imputed upon myself and it is God’s Love for me that gives me the inexhaustible source of strength to overcome my intoxication with worldliness and sin. I have come to the realization that no matter how many times I stumble, God’s support and love will never waver (Psalm 136:1). In evaluation of my entire life to this very day, when I was at my lowest moments, God was right by my side (Psalm 23:4). He was always with me, even before I knew Him intimately through Jesus Christ (Hebrews 13:5). It was through Christ that I had the strength to overcome all the inequity in my life that was bogging me down (Philippians 4:13). It was Christ that gave me a new peace, a new hope and a fresh start in my life (Lamentations 5:21). No matter how many times I stumble, God’s Love is enough to cover all my wrongs (Proverbs 10:12)! Jesus Christ has paid the price for my sin (1 Corinthians 6:19-20); He has made me righteous before God (1 Corinthians 1:30), given me new life (Galatians 2:19-21) and ONLY Christ deserves all glory, honor and praise (Revelation 5:12)! Not only has Jesus Christ changed my life, but He has the power to revolutionize EVERY life! He was sent by God to be the sacrifice for the sin of the WHOLE world! He is available to ALL people! (1 Timothy 2:4) He is ready to make an eternal impact on your life if you allow Him to do so! (James 4:8) Have you placed your trust and faith in Jesus Christ? Have you personally met the Prince of Peace?

Decision:

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.”- John 8:34

Some of you reading this testimony might very well be prisoners to sin. You are prisoners to pride. You are prisoners to jealousy. You are prisoners to lust or insecurities. You are in bondage to some sort of immorality and you long to be set free. You are a prisoner and you have tried time after time to be set free, but you haven’t been able to escape through your own strength. I tell you the truth, you can be set free by Jesus Christ! The truth shall set you free!

It is through Jesus Christ that we are set free from the shackles and bondage of all our sin, mistakes and failures. It is only through God’s Divine, Perfect Love that our lives can be transformed. It is through the precious blood of Jesus Christ that we can be set free of all our sins (Romans 3:22)! On that cross 2000 years ago, Christ bore all of our sin, guilt and shame; On that cross, Jesus Christ endured the epitome of the most humiliating, torturous way to die for EVERY person that has ever or will ever live in addition to taking on the COMPLETE Wrath of God so that we will never have to experience it if we will repent of our life of sin and receive Him as our Lord and Savior (Romans 5:9-11)! It is through God’s Mercy, Forgiveness, Grace and Love that we have forever been set free of our transgressions when we freely receive Jesus Christ into our hearts as our Lord and Savior!

Jesus Christ came to save mankind! He came to set the whole world free from the bondage of sin! That means everybody! That means YOU! He thought about YOU on that Cross! Jesus Christ belongs to the whole world! He belongs to every race, gender, and ethnicity! He belongs to every sinner! He is the atonement for all sins! He lived a perfect, sinless life and willingly died on the cross to wipe away your sins once and for all! You can be cleansed, and you can have a clean slate from all your past, present and future transgressions! Through Jesus Christ, you can be eternally set free and eternally forgiven! All you have to do is ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart by faith, freely receive Him as your Lord and Savior, and turn away from your sin (repent) with the help of God through His Holy Spirit!

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”- 2 Corinthians 5:21

Wouldn’t it be awesome to go to bed tonight and every night thereafter knowing you’re forgiven of your sins? Wouldn’t it be refreshing to know everyday that you are going to Heaven, and someday you will get to dwell with God for all of eternity? You can have that peace and assuredness by coming to The Cross, and accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior by FAITH!

“I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.”- 2 Corinthians 6:2

Have you made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? If so, say a similar version of this prayer to yourself, and at the conclusion of it you can know that you are forever saved! (See Romans 10:9-13)

Sinner’s Prayer:

Dear God, I come to you in the name of Jesus Christ. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.

I believe that your only Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin in repentance.

You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess that Jesus is Lord, and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.

Right now God, I have acknowledged to you that I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. With my heart, I believe that You raised Jesus from the dead, and I receive Him into my heart by faith. At this very moment I have become Born Again, and accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.

Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.

Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.

In Jesus’ Name I Pray,

Amen.

This is only the beginning of your walk with The Lord! May our Heavenly Father bless you and keep you everyday of your life, while serving as your guide as you embark on your journey with Him by your side forever!

God Bless!

Born Again

May 19th, 2015

2Pe 3:9 The Lord … is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

Repentance is what is being called for by the Lord for everyone that does not want to perish, which would practically cover every soul that is resident upon the earth.

Repentance, or any requirement towards anything for that matter, has a way of approach which would satisfy the one requiring such an act to become recognized by the one requiring it.  To bypass the requirement expected by the involved party would result in one being rejected by the one requesting for the act. (Gen.4:7)

Life starts out as one becoming aware of their surroundings, as they become aware of the fact that they are a part of their active surroundings.

Becoming aware of my own childish surrounding, I became aware of the fact that the community that I lived in had just gotten introduced to biblical matters from their un-biblical matters that the community was originally use to.

I noticed that the whole community accepted and embraced the ‘new’ form of living and tended to ‘look down upon’ the ones that did not embrace this new way of life.  The understanding that God became involved in human matters, out of His Love for them, was one that turned them from their former ways to that which was presently presented to them. (Repentance)

I became identified with the present surrounding, but never became a part of the fabric although I participated in its activities. (Seemingly that is what everyone does that gets intertwined into any setting that they are introduced to at an early age. Not having come into the age of accountability. Many choose to remain in that state after given an introduction to something more than their surroundings offer to them. ) (unrepentant)

In my then present mindset, I could expect an answer to the prayers that I offered to the Unseen Living Being (Child-like faith) and witness the results that were carried out by That Being, yet being only a participator of the faith. I realized that there was more required of That Being from me than being just a participator. He required that I become a partaker of that finished Work that He had done for me. It involved becoming publicly embarrassed before my peers, which I did not want to get drawn into at that time.

I honestly believe that is what many would-be followers of Christ are being prevented from doing, in taking that step, which would farther identify them as being a part of Him today. (Mk.8:38)

One answer to prayer involved a request for silence within an enclosed area.

Having been orphaned, I was sent to a religious orphanage, where children under the age of twelve were required to take an afternoon nap. In this setting, the room wherein I was trying to take a nap was full of noise. (Snoring) I asked the Invisible Being to intervene and bring about silence into the room, the room became silent of the snoring at that time, yet I could hear the goings on of the outdoors. (Birds chirping, grownups shouting, work being carried out.) This so surprised me, that I looked up to see what was going on, in which a Light began to ascend towards me, which so frightened me, since it was a strange occurrence, that I refused to yield to Its will for me to give into It. Upon my refusal it returned to whence it came from.
That experience had such an effect on me that I quit praying then, lest the same thing happen again.

Another event that happened, which affected me greatly was when an evangelist came through and preached, which caused a portion of my being to yield to a pull that was drawing me to give myself to Its Will.  I held on to my seat tightly, in order to prevent my body from obeying what my being wanted to do. What a relief it was for me when he finally ended the invitation to respond to the call.
All this time I identified myself as being a believer of that faith that identified itself with Christianity, but I still had need to become a part of what it stood for.

Time continued, I grew up, I lived as expected of the belief that the community held, and did not have any problems with what it believed, even if questions occurred within my heart as to things that were taught me by them, to things that did not fit those things that were taught to me of the Bible. I figured that their beliefs were correct anyway, since I did not know any better.

The theory of evolution taught to me in high school, away from that religious environment, ‘threw me in for a loop’. My reasoning being, which my instructors for my life, were not there to bring me something that would willingly bring instructions of a falsehood as part of my learning.

Come to think of it, what importance has the theory of evolution have upon a person that is trying to become a part of society? It should not have anything to do with ones status in the society that it is being introduced into. I now see it as a tool that Satan uses in order to break ones faith that one had upon a God of Creation. It has to do with spiritual matters, to make a way towards ones soul’s destiny.

Reasoning is what turned me (repentance) from my former thinking to this new way of thinking. I thought that if this theory was correct, than that other belief about God was incorrect. When I accepted the theory (which I know today is but a theory) for a fact, then I seemingly dropped of lost something that I was holding on to in life.

Morality lost its meaning. Life was not placed here to be ruled, but to be lived as one willed. Lying was not a thing to be shunned, stealing was okay, cheating or anything that the flesh desired for was become the way of life. We eat; we drink, and die tomorrow. Yet, being not a fool, one should know that there is a price to pay for what one does to others in this life. (Rom.14:12) Are there not laws for a society to prevent chaos from ruling? How much more for living in Life Itself? As is the natural so also is the Spiritual. (2Cor.5:10)

Having lost a ‘part’ that God had in my life, prior to my introduction to the ‘theory of evolution’, I did not want anything to do with things that pertained to religious matters. I did not want to hear the term, Jesus, or God. If anyone mentioned those names, I would turn away from them and refuse to hear them out.

This new life style brought hatred and bitterness into my life that I had not known before. It brought me under the control of an uncaring society that practiced racism etc. It left me the desire to escape from its influence upon my life, which I had no control over. Suicide seemed to be a means of escape from the bitterness that this life offered unto m.

Satan, that wily creature that he is, told me that death would bring me an escape from the bitterness of life that I was experiencing, that I would find NOTHING in that state. It would just totally annihilate me.
For all that, God had not yet forsaken me. His Word could still have and affect on me. A child that is trained in the way of truth could not depart from it (subconsciously) even if he is become old. (Prov.22:6)

To overrule the death wish from Satan, God came up with a verse found in Heb.9:27 “…it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.”
Judgment was what placed a fear before me.
I could imagine myself standing before millions, having to go through a trial, where I would have to answer for my deeds that I permitted to happen within my walk in this life, whether they were secret or not.
How embarrassing it would be for me when they were called out and proven before my friends and acquaintances, and before the holy angels of God.

That is when I thought to prove to myself the existence of God or not. I began to seek with an open mind. I said, ‘If I find God in a certain religion that is where I’ll become a member of.’ So I started attending different churches only to become discouraged in finding God amidst them. I only found different thoughts or ideas that they believed was a way to approach God. (Prov.14:12) (Mt.15:8,9)

Not being satisfied I turned again to the unsatisfying ways that flesh had to offer. Until God again intervened and had me turn to the Bible for answers. There is where He proved Himself to be true to His Word. There is where I turned unto Him in prayer that He might prove to me that His Word is as true as it said in it as being truth. (Repentance again) That is where I found God. Not in a church or in a belief, but in His ability to perform His Word in action. (1Thes.1:5) That is where I finally found what I desired to have in my life since my early days of childhood. That is where I would point anyone who is seeking after God and His Truth. That is where Eternal Life is found.

Christianity is where the Source of Life is dealing in, but only according to His Word. Outside of that Word is where one would be in danger of judgment. For man shall not live by bread alone, (which are the needs that are in life –Mt.16:26 ), but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.  God said ‘every word’, and every word is what He requires of the repentant breaker of His Law, otherwise He will NOT accept the worshiper and his means of worship towards Him.

Light is that which I, as a child, refused to become involved in my life, since It was fearful for me then. Light is that which I ,as an adult, embraced into my life although It was fearful again for me, but I just committed my will unto It, and It has taken control of me again as It had when I was under Its influence prior to my having become a new creature in Christ Jesus. Glory be unto His Name!

My VISA Journey

May 14th, 2015

Hi everyone, I’m writing a testimony on how I got my Visa. When I searched in the Internet, almost all the comments and reviews said that in my case it will be rejected. I wanted this VISA so much because I already sacrificed a lot for this.

So at first, I worry so much to the point that I always think about it and I even cannot sleep anymore.

But I came to the point that I realized that I cannot do anything anymore, I just need to trust God because I know He is powerful and can do all things even beyond our imagination. I trusted in His promises because I know God put the dream in my heart and I know only He can fulfill it. I trusted in His love because I know that God wants what is best for me. When doubts arise, I always think about these things. Jesus said that if we have faith, we can get what we want, provided that it is according to His will. So keep the faith and drop the doubt!.

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

I chose to put my trust in Jesus and He didn’t fail me. I started to send prayer request to different churches and to some of my friends. It is true that prayer really works. Where there is hope, there is faith. Where there is faith, miracles happen.

My journey in getting my Visa really increased my faith and trust in God. My Visa was approved! Other people even told me that it was approved fast, because some usually takes a long time. Truly nothing is impossible with God! To God be all the glory, honor and praise.

Here are some bible verses that help me:

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)”

“Keep on asking and it will be given to you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you” (Mat. 7:7)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

All through His Grace

May 4th, 2015

During my 10th standard I had gone through some pretty rough times with my grades. I got a B2 in math for my SA1. My school has a very strict criteria to get science so with this mark I was sure I wouldn’t get in.

Like many other people it was in my time of utter desperation that I turned to prayer. I prayed really hard to get science stream but obviously my earthly logic made me believe that it was impossible.

My SA2 was also done and my hope of getting science seemed even more impossible. I worked hard but the paper was so hard.

Finally the day the streams were to be announced arrived. And believe or not I GOT SCIENCE! Praise the lord! I knew with all my heart that it wasn’t my effort or my marks that got me there but God alone.

Before the 10th results were out I prayed that I would get above 9.2 and when the results were out I was so shocked that I GOT 10 CGPA!!

Praise the Lord is all I could say… Even now it still surprises me but I know now that nothing is impossible for the lord Jesus Christ. And all the glory is to Him ALONE.

Every time you feel down know that God is always there in your lowest low and your highest high. And all you have to do is ask Him. And walk in the path that He leads.

ALL THAT I AM I OWE TO JESUS CHRIST MY SAVIOR, MY KING, MY FRIEND, MY FATHER… AND FOREVER HE WILL BE MY GOD!!!

I couldn’t go on about my life without writing a testimony and telling God’s glory. Here I go…

First and foremost I want to start off by saying while going through this painful process, probably mentally the darkest season of my life I read a lot of doubters comments when I looked up this topic. Especially people infected saying

“It is what it is. No cure. Deal with it like we all do.”

And clearly carry all this weight of bitterness towards the person who infected them. Terrible. Look… I’m a fighter. I wasn’t accepting that this diagnosis would be “my story”. The quality of my life wasn’t about to be shadowed with this “in curable disease” with the embarrassing stigma on top of that.

The way I looked at it, God was my only hope.

I will say the stigma is blown out of proportion because SO many people have it. 80% of the people who carry it don’t know.. That’s a fact. It is just a skin disease (down there or in your mouth) well technically a virus just like all the other STDS that can be cured except unfortunately like HIV there’s no cure for HSV 1 or 2 and you are always infectious.

The emotional part about it is down played because you can’t die from it and it is a “gross” STD to carry or claim as far as the public goes. Dating in this generation is already tough as it is and having to be honest about “that” cause it’s the right thing to do was detrimental to me. It killed me. I was so ashamed. The way I contracted it wasn’t worth it to me and I couldn’t wrap my head around how preventable it could’ve been. Like using protection or not even sleeping with the person because it was a one-time thing.

In my case it almost didn’t happen because I didn’t want to initially with that person in particular but then it eventually did. That tortured me every night. I didn’t get it from a boyfriend or someone I truly cared about it so you can understand how I had every reason to be upset not only at the person but at myself.

I dealt with a lot of self hate in that period. I knew better. I wasn’t ignorant. Actually I was always the person telling people how Herpes is so common and people don’t even show symptoms. It’s crazy cause Herpes was really my worst fear for years. Most people don’t get tested for it. For some strange reason STD clinics and even most primary doctors don’t test for it because it’s not apart of the full STD panel. You have to ask for it personally.
I was one of the people that always asked for it believe it or not. On the CDC government site they have information on every STD. Under Herpes (HSV 1 & 2) it explains why people aren’t tested for it regularly which in my opinion is kinda sick.. It says because so many people carry it, the awareness of it supposedly doesn’t stop the spread and psychologically it’s too traumatic (true) so for that doctors are instructed to only test for it if the patient asks.

That makes no sense, kinda sounds like a conspiracy if you ask me. I feel like the acceptance & stigma of Herpes would be less embarrassing if it was tested as heavy and demanding as HIV is. The spread in my opinion would slow down actually. Who wants that title of spreading Herpes? I feel most people wouldn’t. If it was tested regularly who knows.. there would possibly be more of a demand or search for a cure or it would influence infected people to be more honest without so much pressure because so many people would be diagnosed. We should be proactive and do something about that because it can change lives and emotions that we dealt with or for some reading are dealing with. I don’t wish those feelings I felt on my worst enemy.

So my story starts off by making a bad decision one morning. I slept with someone for the wrong reason and I knew it. I felt guilt right after. Then the following days is when the paranoia of STDs started to kick in. I was convinced he either gave me HIV or Herpes and I wasn’t even showing symptoms. I only felt that way because I didn’t know him like that to NOT be using protection. I was just checked 3 weeks prior to what I did with him and I was fine.. Like always so how could I? Irresponsible. I personally felt I was in experienced. I didn’t sleep around often to be super forward about protection I always expected for the man to do his part which in my experience usually happened. In this case it didn’t.

Do I think a God was punishing me? No. Do I think God allowed this to happen for me to get “closer” to him? No. Do I think this was Gods will? Not at all. In fact whether you believe it or not prior to having sex with the person I contracted it from.. I will say I remember something now I can call it the Holy Spirit was telling me to not even go to this guys house. Basically tugging at my conscious. Almost warning me. I didn’t listen even though I knew it was wrong and carried on. Energy does not lie. Listen to your intuition it is usually accurate and once you have God in your heart besides common sense it’s most likely your Holy Spirit.

You guys need to get this idea of God being mean or punishing you out of your head. You didn’t kill anyone. He is a loving, merciful & most importantly forgiving God. Jesus died on the cross for this very reason. Look you made a error, a mistake, you messed up but we all do. I did. We’re human. It happens and although you feel alone right now, you’re not. God hears you, he feels every pain you carry and sees every tear. Knows every thought and intention. Knows what you did and what you’ll do in the future.

Take this verse in and stand on it:

HE WAS WOUNDED FOR OUR TRANSGRESSIONS
AND BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED. -Isaiah 53:5

We are basically as in “WERE”. Past tense. It was already done. Transgressions means sin. That verse is in the bible. You are healed, he took it on the whipping post and carried your diseases to the cross. Repeat that verse everyday until you believe it in your spirit because faith plays a BIG part of your healing. Pray and claim your healing daily. If that verse is to unrealistic for your subconscious to believe, for me it personally was then say things that are realistic to you.

Examples:

  • “My immune system is getting stronger daily and fighting off this disease.”
  • “I am getting healthier everyday because with God anything is possible.”
  • “Thank you God for my healing. In Jesus name.”

How bad do you want to be healed? Are you willing to put doubt aside and have faith that God can heal you. Visualize in your head that you are already healed and that the next blood test you take will come back negative. Your blood is cleansed by Jesus. Remember healing comes with salvation. It’s yours and attainable now believe it.

My story ends with being diagnosed positive with HSV 2 in the month of February and by April I was healed. March was the worst month of my life but I also never prayed the way I did. My healing was a process. Skeptics might say “well maybe it didn’t show up this time? Once you have it you have it for life” Welp I went to two more clinics including the one I got tested at. Which is 3 different tests. Still negative. Took 2 cell culture swabs at my gynecologist. Negative. On top of that I took the gold standard 100% accurate HSV 1 & 2 which is called The Western Blot and surely enough I am negative for HSV 1 & 2.

People who don’t believe in divine healing might also say “well maybe you never had it and it was a false positive”. True and as much as I would love to believe that instead of once carrying it because look this diagnosis definitely hurt my ego. I was humbled, but remember any good thing that happens is always a blessing from God no matter what so if that is the case it’s still Gods glory. The way my situation was set up I personally don’t think so sometimes because all the odds were against me similar to The Gideon 300. Some days I feel like I once really had it and somedays it feels better to think it was a “false positive” either way it’s God glory. Look up “The Gideon 300″ story in bible it’s in Judges 7. Great and motivating story.

If you truly believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and salvation, rose up 3 days later alive, you have to understand that diving healing is now yours. If that’s weird for you to take it in I’ll leave you with two options are you gonna live with “it” or fight with faith? Your choice. The steps I took had to start with faith then I had many people pray for me. My entire family, even ones not so close to God. Women at bible study. A pastor. Prayer requests on a church website. Here’s a couple websites I think you’ll find useful because I sure did. Have as many pray for you as you can even close friends you trust. Every prayer counts.

  • www.2jesus.org
  • Www.tgmministries.com
  • www.savedhealed.com
  • www.the700club.com

Email 2jesus! Put a prayer request on TGM ministries! Email saved healed! Put a prayer request to the 700 club! Put your pride aside and be honest about the situation. It’s in Gods hands and God will listen and see your effort. He loves all of us. He cares for your reputation so do not worry of being exposed. these websites work with diseases more major then HSV 1 & 2. This is not your story. This is only a lesson. Not a punishment.

Youtube videos that grew my faith:

  • Pete Cabrera Jr
  • Karl Stein
  • Pastor Prince Joseph
  • John Mellor

And many others, I just feel from a evangelistic Christian stand point those are safe ones I can give out that are legit and pleasing to God. Look them up and see miracles manifest right in your eyes. Go on www.2jesus.org and read those incredible testimonies.

The point of me giving you all these resources is to build your faith. Remember anything is really possible with God. When you pray to God always end it in his son Jesus’s name. Here are verses you should seriously take in and remind yourself daily.

“The tongue can bring death or life;
Those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the son can bring glory to the father.” John 14:13

I’m gonna end this with a prayer and I hope whoever reads this believes I was once in your shoes looking these things up man. Everyday. I get it. It feels great to be on the other side again and give advice but from my perspective. I believe all who read this have the right to be healed. Now it’s on you.

Father Lord,
I pray that whoever reads this takes in my advice and allows you into their heart. I pray that whoever is reading this very prayer you automatically give them favor when it comes to requests they ask you for father. I pray that you bless, prosper, heal and protect all who are reading this and together we stand on the verse that was written in the bible that your son Jesus Christ was wounded for our transgressions and by his stripes we ARE healed. It it is done. Father I pray you increase their faith, cleanse their blood, their immune system, heal all diseases and make their body whole. In Jesus name WE pray. Amen

Thank you father Lord for my healing. I could never repay you. You are truly the king of kings. Please bless all who read this with the same healing and favor you gave me so they to can write a their personal testimony and share your glory. God bless you all.