Hello,

I am a Christian, 21, and was baptized about 4 years ago. I am going to share my story of anxiety because this website has really made me realize that I am not the only one being targeted by the enemy with the same problem. My boyfriend of 4 and a half years introduced me to Christ and I fell in love. Since then, I would attend church service on Sundays and youth group on Fridays regularly but would not actively participate. My boyfriend is the youth pastor while his dad is the pastor. After starting college, I placed my education before God without even realizing it. I would even go a couple of days without even praying or opening my Bible.

Approximately 3 weeks ago, I was in a restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. At the table, my boyfriend’s dad and his friend began to talk about death. My boyfriend’s mom passed away a little over a year ago and in the conversation, they were recounting what had happened towards the end of her earthly life. My mind began to wander. The enemy hit me with a thought “I wonder what that person felt right before they died…” The thought that caused my very first panic attack quickly followed .. “What if I think these thoughts for the rest of my life?”

At that split moment I knew that I had opened a door that should have been shut! A heat wave went up my body and my heart raced rapidly. I ran to the bathroom and prayed hard. When I got back to the table, I told my boyfriend that I felt like I was being attacked. He took me outside and tried to comfort me. When we got back to the house, we told my boyfriend’s dad and he prayed over me. (Afterward, I had revealed to him that when I was about 12, I had the same account except it involved thoughts about whether or not I was gay after watching a show on MTV. I KNEW I was not, but thinking it bothered me SO much because I was SO disgusted. The devil is intelligent. He knows our weaknesses and strengths.) I told him that my mom, brother, and sister had previously suffered from anxiety and intrusive thoughts and have had to take medication and see phycologists. It was a generational curse! The enemy was trying to attack me using the same method!

The following week and a half consisted of frequent panic attacks throughout the day especially in class when I felt the need to concentrate the most. There were times when I had to run out of class because of the severity of the attack. I would also let my mind wander even further. There was a time when the enemy placed into my mind “What is the worst thing I could possibly do?… kill myself.” The enemy hits us with darts that will bother us the most! When the thought crept into my mind, it spiraled out of control.  I managed to pull through 2 more days when the enemy hit me with another dart…” What if none of this is real? What if life is absolutely meaningless?” I quickly called my mom and told her because I was terrified I would have to go to a mental hospital! She took me to the ER and I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder.

The following day my mother took me to the phyciatrist because I had lost 7 pounds due to loss of hunger and a feeling of a knot in my stomach. I would get about 2 hours of sleep a night per night. I felt like the enemy was dragging me into a black hole. The phyciatrist prescribed Zoloft, an antidepressant and an anxiety/insomnia pill. I also had to take melatonin to fix my sleeping cycle.

Often I would look up Zoloft reviews to see how soon the medicine would be effective. I did this for about 2 days until one day I woke up and realized something very important. The enemy was trying to make me forget my identity, that I am a strong woman of Christ. I quickly got out of bed and prayed out loud, through tears I asked the Lord for forgiveness. I was looking for a solution in the medication instead of a solution in Jesus Christ! I asked God for increase in faith and strength to only trust in Him. Although I trust in the Lord, my family trusted in the medication. I am the only Christian in my family so I KNEW the enemy would make it hard for me.

For another week I experienced great anxiety. I would feel a cloud of doom surface over me and I would feel so helpless. A part of me, the holy spirit, urged me to open the bible and just read! Instead I would call people for advice.

About 4 days ago, I withdrew from all of my classes because of lack of concentration. I felt God pulling me towards Him. He wanted 100% of my attention. The following day, I felt the need to go to my cousin’s house. They advised me to go to their church that night. God revealed many things to me. The only I was I was going to overcome this was through the Word of God and having total faith in Him.

I have been improving greatly. At times, the anxiety hits me like a wave. When this happens, I usually repeat, “God did not give us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind”. Whatever thought comes into your mind that is not pure, wonderful, or godly is NOT from God or from YOU. It is from the enemy! The enemy is the principle of the world and all this is bad. He only wants complete destruction and death.

God is love. He wants us to have life and have it abundantly! He has plans for each of us and sometimes Satan tries to keep us from receiving all of the wonderful things God wants to give you.

Sometimes Satan tries to attack my faith, saying, “You don’t have enough of it”. However, it is a lie! He is the father of all lies. Keep your eyes fixed on Him. Focus on bible verses pertaining to oppression, fear, anxiety, and peace. The bible says to seek first the kingdom of God and then He will fill you with a peace that is not comparable to any other peace.

When your faith begins to waver, take a walk outside. Look at the sky, the clouds, the beautiful flowers, the earth made so perfectly, the birds that are all provided for, etc. God has made everything so perfectly! Examine yourself. The insides of our bodies function harmoniously. Only God could have created everything so beautifully and perfectly. The bible says that God created us in HIS image. We are like Christ and have all the potential. You are his masterpiece and he is proud of you.

Read the Bible, meditate on the word, and seek a greater relationship with your Heavenly Father. When depression and anxiety seem to be drowning you, think of God and his eternal love. That eternal love is never-ending. That love is everywhere! Jesus is the only way, the truth and the light. The truth shall set you free! God allows Satan to tempt us so that we may grow in faith and be the tools God needs us to be. He is the potter and we are the clay. God will build us, destroy us, and build us again until we are molded the way he wants us to be. Our trials are only temporary and help us grow in faith.

I am sorry for the long post and I hope that I am able to help others suffering from anxiety as well.

You all will be in my prayers! Let us keep our minds steadfast on Him!

 

I was raised in a loving Christian home with my four siblings. Brought up knowing the Word of God and asked Jesus into my heart at Good News Club at the age of four. At the age of 15 I started hanging with the “wrong crowd”. I soon was pregnant. By the age 19 I had already been married two years and had three babies. My husband was not a Christian. I was divorced soon after my third child was born. By this time I had put Jesus “on the back burner”.

I was introduced to meth at 20 years old by a family member who I was close too. That was all it took for Satan to get his grip tight on me. I had two babies while using. I thought I was different because I kept a job and paid my rent and bills. I was a ” functioning addict”. My walk with the Lord was non existent. I was lost in Satan’s lies.

My life slowly but surely spiraled down. I eventually lost everything. I placed my four oldest children with family and still had my youngest who was still a new baby at the time. I walked the Dark Road of IV Meth use for five years.

The very last time I put that poison in my veins I overdosed and was unresponsive. That was when the Lord came to me and told me how precious I was to Him and He would not allow me to continue life on earth if I continued to make the bad choices I was making. He showed me my children’s faces and reminded me that they were His gifts to me and my second chance at life on earth if I chose to give my life back to Him.

I chose to live and quit meth and everything I lost was given back to me by my Lord Jesus Christ. That was over ten years ago. Today I serve Jesus by caring for my 87 year old grandmother and am a Grandmother myself to four beautiful little girls. My hearts desire is to help other mothers with there struggles with addiction. I am living proof that with God all things are possible!!!

No More Fear and Anxiety

February 19th, 2015

Well, here I am alive and kicking and enjoying life…in Christ.  It wasn’t always this way.  When I was six my 5 siblings and I woke up to find our father dead in the living room and our mother on the phone trying to find out what was going on.  My father never picked her up from work the previous evening so she went to my grandmother’s house for the night.  That’s when it started – the fear.  Fear of death and dying haunted me most of life.

As a young teenager, I went to church because that was what was required of me by my mother.  I would sometimes be overwhelmed by the moving of the Holy Spirit in my church but it never seemed to stay with me.  At the age of 19 I left my mother’s house and I left the church.  I was tired of all the rules and regulations and being told what I could or couldn’t do or should do or had to do.  It was a very confusing time for me.

I continued to run for almost 25 years.  One day I became ill and went to the emergency room.  Shortly after being examined the doctor told me he thought I was having a possible heart attack.  I just fell into a black hole.  This was what my father died of and I thought I was going to finally follow in his footsteps.  I almost immediately began to suffer from severe anxiety, panic and depression.  I was unable to live alone, had to step down from my management position at work and my teenage daughters had to take care of me.

I believe right at this point in my life, God began saving me and He hasn’t stopped since.  I re-dedicated my life to God and began going to church and just tried my best to listen to what God was trying to teach me.  I was so desperate and I couldn’t really tell anyone what was going on with me.  I was so ashamed because I had heard all my life – “be anxious for nothing” and yet all I could was be anxious.

While it’s true that God is telling us not to be anxious He knows we’re far from perfect and have to be taught how not to be anxious.  It was through His loving kindness and patience that I began to trust Him more and while I still suffered daily, my life was changing.

Over the next few years I began to study the Bible and pray constantly.  Being close to God was the only thing that kept me alive.   After a few years, I began to have the same dream on a very regular basis.  In the dream, there was a house that was far away and it was built in the side of a mountain.  When I went into the house it looked like everyone who lived there stopped what they were doing and just left.  The house was a total mess.  As I started walking through the house, it went on forever.  The deeper I went in, the more fear I felt.  I just knew at the end death was waiting for me.

I continued on in my study of the Bible and began to get involved in the music ministry of my church.  It was tough.  I remember singing at Easter time in a special service and I starting to have an anxiety attack.  I didn’t know what to do.  I kept looking from side to side trying to figure out how I was going to get off that stage.  But with God’s help, I made it through the entire performance.

It wasn’t long after that that I had that same dream for one last time.  Only this time I was taking someone with me into that house to show them what was going on.  I took a friend into the house with me and when we went in, to our surprise, the house was all cleaned up.  The walls were freshly painted and everything was in it’s place.  The most amazing thing about the house was that no matter how far I walked into that house I felt nothing but peace.  For a while I didn’t know what the dream meant.  One day during a church service, the Lord spoke to me and told me “that’s you, all cleaned up, everything back in order and no more fear”!

Needless to say, I soon realized that I was no longer suffering from anxiety, panic or depression.  As the song goes…God saved me, He raised me, He filled me with the Holy Ghost and healed me to the uttermost!

I am forever grateful to God and the power of His saving grace.  No matter what happens to me, I now have a house built on the solid rock!  No matter what the devil tries to do to me, I will serve the Lord.

We wanted to give our daughter a beautiful wedding.  When she first met her soon to be husband, we all thought he was the “one”.  Then they broke up and she was devastated.  I prayed for my daughter that if this man truly was the “one”, in which the holy spirit was saying was true, he would come back to her.  If he wasn’t, then please help my daughter heal and find the person that you have for her.  Well, he came back into the picture and before the year was up, on Christmas day, he asked my daughter to marry him. Read the rest of this testimony »

The Vacuum in my Heart

February 15th, 2015

I come from a Christian family. After finishing my schooling and when I was doing my pre-graduation course, I sensed a kind of emptiness in my heart. (That emptiness, which I later-on understood, was God’s way of drawing me to Himself). In my desperate attempts to solve that problem, I found myself bunking college and attending Christian meetings or visiting a Christian bookshop that was located near my college with the hope of finding a solution. Read the rest of this testimony »

Lost in a Mistake

February 9th, 2015

This is how it all starts…

After watching this video my mom asked me. “Amanda How does God tie into all of this?”  I threw myself back to the moment in the hospital. my mom had given me a book of versus. Furious and Ashamed I threw it in the corner of the room. Even when I was out of the hospital getting better as I seemed to be in the video, I still wasn’t happy. Not with myself, or with God. I was at war with me and my big mistake. I was still drowning in the memories and fear of it everyday.

It had continued to stay that way for weeks. Then I went to a retreat through a friends church and everything changed. They nipped me at the center where I was hurting the most. Time after time I was on my knees sobbing for God to come and forgive me. Had he? Yes he did in a heartbeat just as he promises us. But what it turns out I was struggling with was having faith that he forgave me, forgiving myself. I was forgiven but still carrying the pain and regret. I prayed for a change and to forgive myself. I prayed that God come in my life once again and lead me out of the path of suffering and into the path of his word. And he answered my prayer with welcoming me into the life of forgiveness, mercy, and grace. and welcoming me into his family once again.

God Is Faithful

February 8th, 2015

Mine is a very long story with a happy ending. Let me start by thanking God for always being faithful even when I was not. I want to share my story and hopefully it will help someone who is in a tough situation.

I came to USA from Kenya in 2007. Before then I was very scared to come here. I went to an Australian campus in Malaysia for my first year of college since I was not sure I could handle being in USA. Later when I left for my holiday, my parents convinced to pursue studies in USA or Australia.

I started the application process and told God the first response will be His will for me. I got accepted to MC, I took the I20 to embassy for visa application. I told God unless He is coming with me to the USA, I do not want a visa. Getting a US visa is a tough process for many with numerous attempts but for me at my first attempt I got the visa. Glory to God, I knew no matter what I face in a foreign country, in the city of New York where I knew no one, He will always be by side. That’s all I needed.

My journey started in August 25, 2007. I was pursuing a bachelor degree in chemical engineering. It was tough but I witnessed His faithfulness throughout. I will fast forward to where I received my master’s degree and got an internship with an appliance company. At the time I had a work visa that allowed me to work. The first one was for 1 year and then I had to extend it for another 18 months. Thank God for my wonderful employer who took it upon himself to make sure I stayed legal. He had to enroll in a program with DoL and file a lot of paperwork just keep me legal! The HR personnel had to undergo training and train annually thereafter… all to keep me legal! I thank God for the wonderful people He put in my life. I had angels to guide me along the way.

My 18 months were to expire on July, 2014 and I only had three choices to remain legal: go back to school, get married, or file for H1B Visa with my employer. Option 1 was very depressing since I owed so much in student loans and I really did not want to go back to school. The second option was even more depressing since I had to fake a marriage to remain legal and I was so resentful to the system for making things so hard. The third option was not really an option because it will involve lawyers, huge expenses, it was not guaranteed and I needed my employer on board. He had so much for me and I didn’t want to ask for more assistance.
I felt stuck and I finally decided I had to get off my high horse and do what most people do…get married.

So the question was, to whom?? It had to be someone I can trust and who will not take advantage of me and not make ungodly demands…tough characteristics especially because people lie all the time!! I finally narrowed down to my best friend‘s boyfriend. We moved in together (the 3 of us) and started the whole process..this was in January 2014.. I only had a couple of months left. (I will call my prospective husband Dave) Things were moving smoothly until Dave told me after we had gone to the registrar that he has a medical condition and he has to take medication daily. His doctor said he may lose his coverage if he marries and that meant I had to pay approximately USD 2,000 monthly for the next 5-6 years. In addition to that I was paying him since it’s a business marriage.

Dave was also on welfare and he was afraid marrying he would lose his income. Oh and Dave was unemployed at the time. This made things really hard. I was not sure I could be able to handle the expenses. I felt stuck and had to start looking for another prospective husband. Technically, I could not go to the registrar with a different man in such a short span it would seem suspicious.

Nevertheless, I approached 3 guys asking them to help me out, nothing came out of it…one actually thought I was interested in them, and the other was not comfortable. I did not blame them I was terrified with the entire process but I felt I had no choice. I had sleepless nights, my dad was jobless at the time. I am one of five siblings and I had to stick it out for the sake of my family. I had to be strong. My boyfriend was in Kenya so there wasn’t much he could do other than support me though he was also going through so much himself. My time was running out and I was so scared. I felt so helpless.

The H1B visa process through an employer was not guaranteed. Each year, only 82,000 visas are allocated. In 2013, there were 121,000 applicants so they had to do a lottery and I was afraid this will be case. Marriage was at least guaranteed if I found the right person. They both included a lot of expenses. Money that I didn’t have since I had to send money home to loan monthly payments otherwise we would lose some properties. I felt stuck, I wondered where is God, why are things so hard. I wondered why He won’t give me a sign that things will get better.

One day, while taking the train to work the Lord spoke to my heart through a song I had heard time and again: pray by Carrie Underwood. I decided to stop controlling the situation and let God take control. After all, He promised to walk with me every step of the way before I came to this foreign land. I PROMISED GOD IF HE FIGHTS I WILL MAKE SURE TO TESTIFY TO HIS FAITHFULNESS.

Shortly, my employer called me and told me that He is willing to do whatever it takes to help me stay in the USA. He asked if I had a lawyer and I recommended the lawyer I had consulted for ‘my arranged marriage’. He consulted with some friends and he found another lawyer and he scheduled an appointment. The lawyer scheduled a conference call while I was there so that my employer is aware of all the steps involved. After the lawyer visit, it was decided that he will not only help file for H1B visa but he will petition the DOL for a green card…THAT WAS MY FAITHFUL GOD AT WORK. And, my employer covered all the expenses!!!!

On April 1st, my application for H1B visa was submitted. In 2014, 181,000 people applied and a lottery was necessary. There is a waiting period but at an additional fee, you can get an expedited response. My employer paid the fee and we were told that I was selected!!!!! MY GOD IS SO FAITHFUL.

Long story short, God granted me a H1B visa that allows me to work for 6 years. Meanwhile the lawyer is working towards my residency. I am very thankful to God for being there for me. For fighting my battles; He is a faithful God and it does not matter what you are going through. Sometimes we focus on how big our problems are and not HOW GREAT AND WONDERFUL OUR MIGHTY GOD IS. We try and control things and do things our way… all we have to do is surrender fully. Let Him be GLORIFIED IN each and every situation. He is a faithful God even when we are not. Stay blessed.

To The Christian Church Revelation 14: 1-5 “Then I looked, and there before me was the Lamb, standing on Mount Zion, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father’s name written on their foreheads. And I heard a sound from heaven like the roar of rushing waters and like a loud peal of thunder. The sound I heard was like that of harpists playing their harps. And they sang a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and the elders. No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they remained virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as firstfruits to God and the Lamb. No lie was found in their mouths; they are blameless.”

To you, from me- a fellow Christian. Fellow Christians, I am in no way in the public eye, nor a religious leader, Christian leader, pastor, deacon, elder or even a house fellowship leader, but God Almighty, Jesus Christ saviour of mankind, over the past three years has laid many great things on my heart, some of which I have shared as God led, with my close family members and close friends. I am now being led to share with you all as well, as much as God will lead me to share. If it is God`s will, in his time you will come to know me. I am being led by God to share with you a number of things he revealed to me, including the relationship between the 144,000 redeemed Jews ( Revelation 7:1-8, Revelation 14: 1-5) and the entire Christian church. I am aware that this is a huge bone of contention in the church today. I am also being led to share with you, that the 144,000 are already being prepared by God for their end time mission, which is to prepare the world for the soon return of Jesus Christ. I will elaborate on this further, and how I have come to know this, later in this letter to you. I want to start off by saying the Christian Church is the new Israel, the Israel chosen by God and which is made up of all those who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and saviour and who obey him diligently without compromise; Jew or Gentile. God made me understand that the Church (true followers of Christ), are the virgin Israel being referred to in Jeremiah 31: 4, where God said through the prophet Jeremiah “I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel. You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines”, and not the physical nation of Israel. God made good his promise of rebuilding virgin Israel when he died on the cross for all who would have him. All people may now come in freely to be part of God`s household, Jew or Gentile. They are all virgins male and female, because they are made new by the blood of Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new”. Those who he foreknew (Romans 8:29) would choose to accept him and follow him all the way to the end of their lives or to the end, are the new Israel, the true Jews and the true household of God, chosen by God before time, to reign forever with him. The 144,000 are a portion of this family, the first fruits, born either Jew or Gentile, male and female, all virgin (made new by the blood of Jesus Christ) Sons of God. Note also, that the Bible refers to all God`s children as sons of God, whether male or female. See Romans 8:14 “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God). Read the rest of this testimony »

During most of my adolescence, my life was a living hell. I was born with a disease that effects my joints and sometimes makes it hard to do certain physical activities. Throughout childhood, I had to take very strong medication that had nasty side effects and I was tormented terribly at school, eventually went into total isolation and became severely lonely and depressed.

On top of what was going on at school, I had a load of personal problems to deal with. My parents were less than supportive. Sometimes, my joint problems even made it hard to walk. On these days, my mom would threaten me, “You better learn to walk or you are going to be in a wheelchair by Christmas!” My mother had a very traumatic upbringing, so its understandable that she has trouble dealing with stress, but still, her cruelty caused me great depression and low self-esteem throughout my childhood.

My other major personal issue was something that will haunt me my entire life. When I was fourteen, just as my joint problems were starting to disappear, was when my life took a turn for the worst. I was violated by someone I trusted. I would rather not explain everything that happened; it is too painful. I was heart broken. How could someone I had trusted for so long suddenly become the subject of my nightmares? I desperately wanted to tell someone, but I was afraid of starting trouble, or that no one would believe me. So I kept my mouth shut, even though I was screaming from the inside. I thought if I just forgot about, I could move on with my life, but that’s not what happened. I started having nightmares where someone was chasing me, and horrible panic attacks. I also started to hate my body. I thought it was a useless object. I cut myself and eventually developed an eating disorder. My life was spiraling out of control. somehow, someway, I got out of that mess. I started going to private school. Finally, I had friends that I could trust. For about a year my life seemed to be pretty okay, then, just as I was about to start my junior year, the most traumatic events of my life started to unfold.

It started off with me not feeling so well. I was tired and nauseous most of the time. I thought I just had a virus, but the symptoms would not go away. My parents agreed to take me to the pediatrician, who chalked up my symptoms to a lack of sleep/seasonal allergies. My symptoms only got worse. I started feeling hot all over. Then came severe muscle weakness and shortness of breath. At one point I couldn’t even walk up the stairs. I begged my parents to take me back to the doctor. They finally agreed. This time they found some concerning signs. I had a heart rate of 120 bpm and a 100 degree fever, but again the doctor told me I was just stressed and needed to take it easy. My symptoms only got worse from there. Over the next weeks, my shortness of breath became severe. Sometimes I couldn’t sleep because when I would lie down it was hard to breathe. I was so weak I could barely get out of bed. Eventually I couldn’t eat. I kept telling my parents how ill I felt, but they forced me to go to school and do everything I normally do, saying “we’ve already been to doctors,” but I knew something wasn’t right.

Finally, my mom agreed to take me to a urologist since I have had kidney problems in the past. We learned some shocking news. My kidneys were failing. Next came multiple tests. I was bombarded with needles, tubes, electrodes, swabs and catheters. From the tests, they concluded I was in shock, cardiogenic shock to be specific. For an unknown reason, my heart was failing terribly. It was only beating at 15%. Not only was my heart failing but because my heart was working so poorly my lungs, kidneys, liver, and digestive tract were also in early failure. I was taken to the ICU, where I lapsed into a coma, with a small chance of survival. I was on so many devices that were keeping me alive during that period. During the coma, I had some very strange revelations. Of course, I couldn’t hear or see or feel anything going on around me, but my brain was doing strange and wonderful things. I had been distant from God for some while, even doubting him in my times of struggle, but when I was unconscious I could feel his presence, and it was beautiful. Eventually, I woke up. It was one of the best days of my life.

My Life with Jesus

January 25th, 2015

This story is 100% true.

On Wednesday April 24, 1996, a baby boy was born into the world. This boy’s names was Maurice Echols II (Reese For short) this boy is me. I was born blind, partially deaf, with cerebral palsy, and he had a blood disorder called Hereditary Spherocytosis. No one knew it yet but Reese was a Special baby, God was going to use me in big ways.

When I was 71/2 months old, my parents took me to Cincinnati looking for my dad’s fathers family. So we went to a church that my grandfather went too trying to see if anyone there knew him. At the end of service, the pastor said, “there is a lady here with a blind baby, please bring that baby up.” so my mother brought me up to the pastor. The pastor said, “may I lay hands on your baby?”. My mom was hesitant at first but then she let him.

The pastor laid his hand on me and asked God to open my eyes to the natural world and the spiritual world. And it didn’t happen immediately, it took some time. That’s what people most people don’t understand. God can heal you instantly, but some times he chooses to do it slowly and sometimes he heals you by calling you home to heaven. So that’s what he did with me, he healed me slowly.

Three weeks went by and I hadn’t been healed yet or so everyone thought. One night my mom was giving me a bath and she started tossing bath toys pretending that I could see. And that’s when my eyes opened up. She threw this green rubber ducky and I followed it. Then she tossed a red rubber ducky and I followed it with my head. Then I started playing with bubbles which I had never seen before. My mom leaned in and I just busted out laughing. And she grabbed me out of that bath tub and started screaming for my dad. My dad came in and he was yelling at my mom, “you’re scaring him” and snatched me out of her arms. Then I looked right up at my dad and grabbed his face and gave him this giant smile. And he believed I could see. Right behind my dad was Jesus. And I saw Jesus and angels every day. I started seeing angels and demons on the regular. I used to see just angels but when I turn 4 I started seeing everything.

I think at least one year went by till my ears were healed. One night we decided to go to world harvest. In the middle of service my ears just started burning. It was like my ears were on fire and my mom said that my ears were burning up. I started screaming and crying and pastor Rod Parsley called us up and said that this baby’s ears are healed.

When I was 4 I got tired of not being like a normal boy, so while at church I told my pastor that I wanted to be healed. And he responded with the most stupid question that I had ever heard. He said,

“Reese, what would you like me pray over you for?”

and I told him

“If my God can make my eyes work, I know He can make my bones work.”

Before he could even lay his hands on me, I went down. The room felt like the building was on fire. There was snow out side and when they opened the windows, all the snow around the building melted. And one by one each muscle and bone popped up and into the correct position.

When I was 5, I had to get my spleen removed. The surgery went great, or so we thought. An artery in the back of my stomach ruptured and I bled to death. I remember going to heaven and walking out side the gates of heaven with Jesus. He held me in his arms and told me how much he loves me and that he has big plans for me. I wanted to go through the gates and He told me that it is not my time yet, that I had to go back home. And I started falling and next thing I know I’m back in my body, and I sit up gasping for air on the operating table. It turns out that after the nurse found me in my room passed out and blood coming out my mouth, they rushed me to emergency surgery. The surgeon said that I died on the operation table, and that God told her not to give up on me.

When I was 6 my babysitters boyfriend killed his son and tried to break into our apartment. During that time, Jesus appeared in my bedroom. The guy tried everything to get into our apartment. He used a crowbar, a sledge hammer, a shotgun everything. He even tried to kick the door in. the door didn’t even budge. When the police showed up. They found the crowbar bent in half, the shotgun wouldn’t work, and the hammer broken. Nothing he did to get in worked.

When I was 7, I was molested by my babysitter and raped by my friend’s dad. God was with me that entire time. They threatened to kill me and to kill my parents. My babysitter and her girlfriend made child pornography and forced us to carry it down to [name removed] house. But God was with us, and kept us safe. When we finally told, [name removed] got arrested but my babysitter and the detective were friends and she got off the hook. The detective was in on the whole thing, but its in God’s hands now.

When I was 8 I was at Barnett Road Baptist Church and this lady named Mary and my mom were talking, and all of a sudden Mary gets mad and points to the table that I am sitting on, and that table and me go flying. Mary was a witch, the first of many that I would encounter, and I was so scared. Next thing I know I am being caught by an angel and put carefully on the ground. Then all hell breaks loose literally. Demons start coming from everywhere. For every demon, there were four angels. So imagine how crazy it was. It was so cool and scary.

When I was 9, I was sent to the hospital with a dangerously high fever, and when I got to the hospital nothing was wrong. When we left I got super sick, and then when we went back in I was fine. This went on for about 2 hours. Then I decided to go pray for this girl that broke her leg and her arm. And as I was praying, her arm and leg were healed. Through me God cleared that entire emergency room.

When I was 10, I started preaching at nursing homes. It was one of my favorite things to do. I got to tell people about Jesus and be around old people. It was fun.

When I was 11 and 12, I started going to pray for people that were dying in hospice. Sometimes God would heal them there, and sometimes God would heal them by calling them home to heaven. But I loved it.

When I was 13, I don’t really remember that much from when I was 13 but I know God was very present in my life.

When I was 14, I went to a school called [name removed] academy. That school was the most evil school that I went to. I mean spiritually evil. The school administrators were not aware that the church where the school was, was covered in demons and curses. I was scared to leave my class room or be in the class by myself. That’s where I really learned that our word really do have power. For one whole week, I was being taunted and tortured by five demons. They were telling me that Jesus hates me and that I will die alone and that I will never amount to anything and that I have no friends that no body really likes me. One day, one of the demons threw me on the floor and the other four pined me down and the demon that threw me down started choking me. Out of no where I screamed in the name of Jesus get off of me. And I broke free. And they went flying back. They started to run at me and I screamed Jesus Help me and next thing I know, the room was filled with angels and Jesus appeared and the demons started screaming with fear. And Jesus told them to go and do not return. And they did.

When I was 15, I started being a stupid teenager. I was just straight up stupid. I started putting other things before God. And that was not right it was a sin. People called me out on it a lot but I told them to mind their own business. I started putting Michael Jackson before God. I put him before God for the longest. And God just kept on tugging on my heart telling me to come back to Him.

when I was 16, nothing really changed, but I was under a lot of attack.

Everything changed when I turned 17, the closest thing to a real grandpa that I ever had, Carl Peters died, I started wanting to be closer to God.

Now I am 18, I am getting rid of all idols. I am going to trust God more. All of the miracles He has done in my life, I am going to focus on Him because He is the higher power, He is the Creator of the universe and everything in it, He is the Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end. I will praise Him for ever and ever