All through His Grace

May 4th, 2015

During my 10th standard I had gone through some pretty rough times with my grades. I got a B2 in math for my SA1. My school has a very strict criteria to get science so with this mark I was sure I wouldn’t get in.

Like many other people it was in my time of utter desperation that I turned to prayer. I prayed really hard to get science stream but obviously my earthly logic made me believe that it was impossible.

My SA2 was also done and my hope of getting science seemed even more impossible. I worked hard but the paper was so hard.

Finally the day the streams were to be announced arrived. And believe or not I GOT SCIENCE! Praise the lord! I knew with all my heart that it wasn’t my effort or my marks that got me there but God alone.

Before the 10th results were out I prayed that I would get above 9.2 and when the results were out I was so shocked that I GOT 10 CGPA!!

Praise the Lord is all I could say… Even now it still surprises me but I know now that nothing is impossible for the lord Jesus Christ. And all the glory is to Him ALONE.

Every time you feel down know that God is always there in your lowest low and your highest high. And all you have to do is ask Him. And walk in the path that He leads.

ALL THAT I AM I OWE TO JESUS CHRIST MY SAVIOR, MY KING, MY FRIEND, MY FATHER… AND FOREVER HE WILL BE MY GOD!!!

I couldn’t go on about my life without writing a testimony and telling God’s glory. Here I go…

First and foremost I want to start off by saying while going through this painful process, probably mentally the darkest season of my life I read a lot of doubters comments when I looked up this topic. Especially people infected saying

“It is what it is. No cure. Deal with it like we all do.”

And clearly carry all this weight of bitterness towards the person who infected them. Terrible. Look… I’m a fighter. I wasn’t accepting that this diagnosis would be “my story”. The quality of my life wasn’t about to be shadowed with this “in curable disease” with the embarrassing stigma on top of that.

The way I looked at it, God was my only hope.

I will say the stigma is blown out of proportion because SO many people have it. 80% of the people who carry it don’t know.. That’s a fact. It is just a skin disease (down there or in your mouth) well technically a virus just like all the other STDS that can be cured except unfortunately like HIV there’s no cure for HSV 1 or 2 and you are always infectious.

The emotional part about it is down played because you can’t die from it and it is a “gross” STD to carry or claim as far as the public goes. Dating in this generation is already tough as it is and having to be honest about “that” cause it’s the right thing to do was detrimental to me. It killed me. I was so ashamed. The way I contracted it wasn’t worth it to me and I couldn’t wrap my head around how preventable it could’ve been. Like using protection or not even sleeping with the person because it was a one-time thing.

In my case it almost didn’t happen because I didn’t want to initially with that person in particular but then it eventually did. That tortured me every night. I didn’t get it from a boyfriend or someone I truly cared about it so you can understand how I had every reason to be upset not only at the person but at myself.

I dealt with a lot of self hate in that period. I knew better. I wasn’t ignorant. Actually I was always the person telling people how Herpes is so common and people don’t even show symptoms. It’s crazy cause Herpes was really my worst fear for years. Most people don’t get tested for it. For some strange reason STD clinics and even most primary doctors don’t test for it because it’s not apart of the full STD panel. You have to ask for it personally.
I was one of the people that always asked for it believe it or not. On the CDC government site they have information on every STD. Under Herpes (HSV 1 & 2) it explains why people aren’t tested for it regularly which in my opinion is kinda sick.. It says because so many people carry it, the awareness of it supposedly doesn’t stop the spread and psychologically it’s too traumatic (true) so for that doctors are instructed to only test for it if the patient asks.

That makes no sense, kinda sounds like a conspiracy if you ask me. I feel like the acceptance & stigma of Herpes would be less embarrassing if it was tested as heavy and demanding as HIV is. The spread in my opinion would slow down actually. Who wants that title of spreading Herpes? I feel most people wouldn’t. If it was tested regularly who knows.. there would possibly be more of a demand or search for a cure or it would influence infected people to be more honest without so much pressure because so many people would be diagnosed. We should be proactive and do something about that because it can change lives and emotions that we dealt with or for some reading are dealing with. I don’t wish those feelings I felt on my worst enemy.

So my story starts off by making a bad decision one morning. I slept with someone for the wrong reason and I knew it. I felt guilt right after. Then the following days is when the paranoia of STDs started to kick in. I was convinced he either gave me HIV or Herpes and I wasn’t even showing symptoms. I only felt that way because I didn’t know him like that to NOT be using protection. I was just checked 3 weeks prior to what I did with him and I was fine.. Like always so how could I? Irresponsible. I personally felt I was in experienced. I didn’t sleep around often to be super forward about protection I always expected for the man to do his part which in my experience usually happened. In this case it didn’t.

Do I think a God was punishing me? No. Do I think God allowed this to happen for me to get “closer” to him? No. Do I think this was Gods will? Not at all. In fact whether you believe it or not prior to having sex with the person I contracted it from.. I will say I remember something now I can call it the Holy Spirit was telling me to not even go to this guys house. Basically tugging at my conscious. Almost warning me. I didn’t listen even though I knew it was wrong and carried on. Energy does not lie. Listen to your intuition it is usually accurate and once you have God in your heart besides common sense it’s most likely your Holy Spirit.

You guys need to get this idea of God being mean or punishing you out of your head. You didn’t kill anyone. He is a loving, merciful & most importantly forgiving God. Jesus died on the cross for this very reason. Look you made a error, a mistake, you messed up but we all do. I did. We’re human. It happens and although you feel alone right now, you’re not. God hears you, he feels every pain you carry and sees every tear. Knows every thought and intention. Knows what you did and what you’ll do in the future.

Take this verse in and stand on it:

HE WAS WOUNDED FOR OUR TRANSGRESSIONS
AND BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED. -Isaiah 53:5

We are basically as in “WERE”. Past tense. It was already done. Transgressions means sin. That verse is in the bible. You are healed, he took it on the whipping post and carried your diseases to the cross. Repeat that verse everyday until you believe it in your spirit because faith plays a BIG part of your healing. Pray and claim your healing daily. If that verse is to unrealistic for your subconscious to believe, for me it personally was then say things that are realistic to you.

Examples:

  • “My immune system is getting stronger daily and fighting off this disease.”
  • “I am getting healthier everyday because with God anything is possible.”
  • “Thank you God for my healing. In Jesus name.”

How bad do you want to be healed? Are you willing to put doubt aside and have faith that God can heal you. Visualize in your head that you are already healed and that the next blood test you take will come back negative. Your blood is cleansed by Jesus. Remember healing comes with salvation. It’s yours and attainable now believe it.

My story ends with being diagnosed positive with HSV 2 in the month of February and by April I was healed. March was the worst month of my life but I also never prayed the way I did. My healing was a process. Skeptics might say “well maybe it didn’t show up this time? Once you have it you have it for life” Welp I went to two more clinics including the one I got tested at. Which is 3 different tests. Still negative. Took 2 cell culture swabs at my gynecologist. Negative. On top of that I took the gold standard 100% accurate HSV 1 & 2 which is called The Western Blot and surely enough I am negative for HSV 1 & 2.

People who don’t believe in divine healing might also say “well maybe you never had it and it was a false positive”. True and as much as I would love to believe that instead of once carrying it because look this diagnosis definitely hurt my ego. I was humbled, but remember any good thing that happens is always a blessing from God no matter what so if that is the case it’s still Gods glory. The way my situation was set up I personally don’t think so sometimes because all the odds were against me similar to The Gideon 300. Some days I feel like I once really had it and somedays it feels better to think it was a “false positive” either way it’s God glory. Look up “The Gideon 300″ story in bible it’s in Judges 7. Great and motivating story.

If you truly believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and salvation, rose up 3 days later alive, you have to understand that diving healing is now yours. If that’s weird for you to take it in I’ll leave you with two options are you gonna live with “it” or fight with faith? Your choice. The steps I took had to start with faith then I had many people pray for me. My entire family, even ones not so close to God. Women at bible study. A pastor. Prayer requests on a church website. Here’s a couple websites I think you’ll find useful because I sure did. Have as many pray for you as you can even close friends you trust. Every prayer counts.

  • www.2jesus.org
  • Www.tgmministries.com
  • www.savedhealed.com
  • www.the700club.com

Email 2jesus! Put a prayer request on TGM ministries! Email saved healed! Put a prayer request to the 700 club! Put your pride aside and be honest about the situation. It’s in Gods hands and God will listen and see your effort. He loves all of us. He cares for your reputation so do not worry of being exposed. these websites work with diseases more major then HSV 1 & 2. This is not your story. This is only a lesson. Not a punishment.

Youtube videos that grew my faith:

  • Pete Cabrera Jr
  • Karl Stein
  • Pastor Prince Joseph
  • John Mellor

And many others, I just feel from a evangelistic Christian stand point those are safe ones I can give out that are legit and pleasing to God. Look them up and see miracles manifest right in your eyes. Go on www.2jesus.org and read those incredible testimonies.

The point of me giving you all these resources is to build your faith. Remember anything is really possible with God. When you pray to God always end it in his son Jesus’s name. Here are verses you should seriously take in and remind yourself daily.

“The tongue can bring death or life;
Those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the son can bring glory to the father.” John 14:13

I’m gonna end this with a prayer and I hope whoever reads this believes I was once in your shoes looking these things up man. Everyday. I get it. It feels great to be on the other side again and give advice but from my perspective. I believe all who read this have the right to be healed. Now it’s on you.

Father Lord,
I pray that whoever reads this takes in my advice and allows you into their heart. I pray that whoever is reading this very prayer you automatically give them favor when it comes to requests they ask you for father. I pray that you bless, prosper, heal and protect all who are reading this and together we stand on the verse that was written in the bible that your son Jesus Christ was wounded for our transgressions and by his stripes we ARE healed. It it is done. Father I pray you increase their faith, cleanse their blood, their immune system, heal all diseases and make their body whole. In Jesus name WE pray. Amen

Thank you father Lord for my healing. I could never repay you. You are truly the king of kings. Please bless all who read this with the same healing and favor you gave me so they to can write a their personal testimony and share your glory. God bless you all.

God’s Little Miracle

April 21st, 2015

My son Matthew, who is now one year old, has experienced life as well as death… The life of Matthew has been typical. He starting sitting up on his own when he was only a few months old, crawling around six months, and walking shortly after his first birthday. Matthew has lived in a loving household with a father, mother, and older sister. His grandparents adore him and people who meet him are often taken by his uplifting smile. An abundance of toys was often found scattered about from playing with his two-year-old sister. Matthew is mommy’s little angel, daddy’s only son, and Gods little miracle.

The purpose of this writing is to demonstrate how the life of an individual can be changed in an instant. If you have experienced much of life you likely know how quickly it can change. Many situations in my life have changed in a matter of a day, an hour, or even a minute however we can make the most of the new situation or the worst. Life is a gift that’s wonderful and there is always a way to make the best of a seemingly bad situation. It is important to give thanks and glory where it’s due. My son is alive today and that is truly a miracle, and one that I can never fully show my gratitude. While I write many would consider my situation one where joy would be a difficult emotion to obtain but I choose to have joy and peace. My son Matthew clinically died on February 19th but didn’t remain in that state, as CPR was used to restart his little heart. I can’t begin to thank the doctors and nurses enough for their part in giving Matthew his life. That day in February was a blur and remains to be a blur. Matthew my only son, the boy that is a spitting image of myself and who was completely healthy all of his life had a cardiac arrest and stopped breathing.

Matthew’s mother found him unresponsive and not breathing in his car seat after returning home from a shopping trip. Terrified she screamed for help and thankfully a nurse lived nearby who heard the frantic yells and came to assist with CPR. I can only imagine the emotions of the first responders trying to help my one-year-old son as he lay there not breathing and the fear his mother must have felt. While I very much appreciate the nurse who restarted my son’s heart, I also have gratitude for the others that played a part and are playing a part in his recovery. After having his heart restarted by the courageous nurse, the ambulance and EMS crew arrive from a local hospital and transport Matthew, who at this point has a faint pulse, to a local hospital.

When Matthew arrived at the first hospital the goal was stabilizing his condition and running tests to assess his medical condition. The first hospital provided initial stabilizing however a higher level of care was needed so an ambulance from another hospital was required for transport to the higher-level facility. After arriving at the next hospital and ensuring Matthew was stable more tests were performed to determine the cause of his sudden cardiac arrest but the main goal was keeping him alive which required life support devices such as a ventilator and many medications. Matthew had several viruses that would require IV antibiotics however that would be a minor concern compared to what was ahead. I was told that Matthew would be okay and was stable however it would take some time in the hospital for recovery from the viruses that the blood tests showed, in addition to recovery time from the cardiac arrest.

I believe it was day two at the second hospital when I arrived and discussed Matthew’s condition with the doctor and he informed me that Matt had extremely high liver enzymes, in fact, I was actually told by one experienced nurse that it was the highest levels she had ever seen. I was concerned for my son and the condition of his liver. The nurses mentioned they considered sending him to another hospital that offered an even higher level of care and that the hospital actually had a liver specialist. The plan at this point was to watch his enzyme levels to see if they would stay elevated or if they would start dropping. I had a feeling that if these were the highest levels an experienced nurse had ever seen that I might rather have him transferred, my thought was better safe than sorry. I insisted that he be transferred to the hospital with the liver specialist but the doctor tried to offer comfort and suggested the levels might have been caused by trauma from his cardiac arrest and lack of oxygen to the liver. While I considered the advise of the doctor I still wasn’t satisfied so I asked the nurses to call and consult with the hospital that had the liver specialist. I am thankful for that feeling and for the phone call. After the phone consultation the other hospital thought he could benefit from their care and Matthew was scheduled for transfer later that night.

It was somewhere around 10 p.m. and it seemed that we had a long night ahead because the next hospital was about three hours away, but due to the inclement winter weather the drive would take even longer. An ambulance would again transport my son. My mother and I would drive in my vehicle and meet the EMS crew at third hospital. Matthew was scheduled to depart the second hospital and set out on the journey to the third at 11 p.m. but at this point I was all too familiar with the time that is set and the time that events actually take place. It was around midnight when the ambulance left the second hospital and it took four hours to reach the third hospital. As I made my own way to the hospital many thoughts overtook my conscious as I considered the different decisions that I made and the decisions that would be required of me in the upcoming days. I thought about whether or not I was making the right choice by sending my son to yet another hospital. The hospital staff at the facility we just left seemed to think that I was being overly cautious, many of which had more education than I, especially in the area of medicine. I couldn’t let negative thinking get me down and had to stay positive. I made a decision and was going to stick with it, after all this is my son and it couldn’t be a bad thing to seek the highest level care possible even if I was being overly circumspect.

Upon arrival at the third and hopefully final hospital at the hour of 4 a.m. everyone was exhausted both mentally and physically. The family arrived before Matthew and greeted him at the door as medics rolled him in. We kissed him and gave him our love because it would take some time before the hospital staff could get him settled and do their initial assessment. My mother and I got a hotel room a half mile away and was able to get a few hours sleep before going back to see Matthew in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU). The hour was roughly 9 a.m. when, after a few hours of much needed sleep, we arrived in the room with Matthew and was greeting by a team of doctors and nurses from the many units within the hospital. Matthew had been at this hospital a total of five hours and already our family knew more about his condition than we did the whole time he was at two other facilities, and it was at this point I knew we had made the right decision.

The transitions Matthew would make at the third hospital would involve three departments. The first department was the PICU and after that he was transferred to the neurological floor and the last was the therapy floor where he would try and regain function from the anoxic brain injury. I do not recall how long Matthew was in each department however the time spent in the PICU was definitely the most intense. An Intensive Care Unit is certainly not somewhere you want to see your child. My son was helpless, and I wanted to help more than anything, however I felt helpless as well because I didn’t know what to do. I recall constantly asking questions when I would see medical staff. Reading medical journals regarding anoxic brain injuries occupied any free time.

Matthew slowly made his way from the PICU to the neurological floor and finally the therapy floor. After leaving intensive care, life support started coming off, and Matthew was then able to support himself. I remember when I heard him cry after the ventilator was removed from his throat, and until that moment I had never appreciated his little cry so much. His cry was a gift from God in which I am eternally grateful! Hospital life started to get a bit easier after Matthew started regaining autonomic functions. Soon he would be completely removed from all life support, including the precautionary feeding tube. A discharge date had been set for Matthew upon arrival in the rehabilitation department, which was a blessing, but at the same time scary. Thinking about the continued therapy, which would be required, seemed somewhat overwhelming and better left to medical staff. I wanted what was best for my son and after many discussions with the rehab staff we agreed upon March 30th as the discharge date. Matthew was making progress with his therapy at the hospital however it was the collective opinion of his family and the medical staff, that at this point, his recovery would be more effective in a familiar environment.

I was thankful that a discharge date was set and that Matthew was making progress. He had made it so far in his recovery, yet many milestones that he had reached such as sitting up and being able to walk, was lost. As a father, I wondered what I could do besides read and ask questions. I certainly wanted to be there to love my son and hold him. Helping with the little needs was all I could do. The help I could offer Matthew was not enough. The doctors, nurses, and other medical staff played a critical role in Matthew’s recovery, however even their help was not enough. We needed something more, something that modern medicine could not accomplish. We needed the help of our heavenly savior. We needed God to intervene and help Matthew continue to recover.

Many situations in my life have been out of my control. Some periods of life can be very discouraging, and during these vulnerable times it seems that one bad situation leads to another, and on to another. What happened to my son is by far, one of the hardest things that I have gone through in my life, if not the hardest. I had no control of the situation. I tried to make good decisions involving Matthew’s health however I couldn’t do much more than oversee his care, and even then I was unqualified for such a role. I was in desperate need of someone or something that would help my little boy. I am a Christian and have been since I was very young. I most definitely prayed to our heavenly Father many times throughout our ordeal, and my prayers continue. It seems that in our most desperate and needy time, that God performs some of His greatest miracles. My son desperately needed help, and it was no doubt that God had already begun working. His life had already been saved before we could utter the first prayer for his little life.

It seems many times we forget that our God is still performing miracles. We often attribute healing to modern medicine and skilled doctors, however we need to remember that our Lord is behind the healing. Modern advancements in medicine, as well as, the talent of medical staff has been given to us by our Father and Savior! We need to rely more on God. I had to rely on him in the situation with Matthew, because I couldn’t do anymore, and the medical staff done all they could. It was a waiting game to see how Matthew would recover. I was in a state of constant prayer, along with many others that care for my son.

Jesus died for our sins, so that we might be able to dwell with him for eternity and for that we are forever indebted. He does so much for us everyday without us asking. Unfortunately, many times in our fast pace life we forget to thank our God for the little things. I thank God for my son and the many other miracles he performs on a daily basis. I ask that whoever might read this article would pray for my son. The purpose of this writing is for the reader to understand who is responsible for my son being alive. I hope it is completely clear that ultimately God is responsible for him being alive today, and that medical staff is merely a tool. God allowed some of the best doctors and nurses to work with my son. I want people to know what God did for my son Matthew and for his family by keeping him here. Matthew is here for a purpose; we are all here for a purpose! I pray that we all find our purpose. While the future is uncertain we can be sure that God will be there to see us through and He is still in the miracle business. I am so thankful for God’s Little Miracle!

Hello my name is Dalton.

At 20 weeks into my wife’s pregnancy the drs diagnosed our son, Keeson,polycycstic kidneys. We knew there was nothing at all we or the drs could do to make it better, so we did all we knew to do and that is take the Word of God as it is. We placed our child in the arms of Jesus Christ and knew He was the only way Keeson could be healed and beat this disease.

So we went to a care conference in Austin, TX to meet with all of the drs and nurses who would have a part in our child’s life while he is at the hospital. The drs told us in the care conference that there was not a really big chance of him making it out of this because they didn’t know how strong his lungs would be due to a lack of amniotic fluid.

We told the Church we go to and our family and we all began go pray for Keeson. We had a peace that surpassed all understanding through all of this. Well he was born on March 4th at Seton Main in Austin, tx. The drs said he may not breathe well, the same night that he was born, he was already breathing 21% oxygen which is what we breathe everyday.

The second day he was here, he was completely breathing on his own. The drs said Keeson may not be able to pee well, he got shipped to Dells Childrens Hospital in Austin, Tx. They did a surgery and entered a cathoder that they planned on using for dialysis because both kidneys lit up so bright on the scans that the Dr actually said that his kidneys didn’t function and never would!  

We continued to believe what the Word of God says about our healing through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior! Well they put the cathoder in and he began to pee great on his own out of his private area, normally! That’s 2 miracles so far!

Well then the drs said he’ll probably not eat well. He started eating great and has been eating full feeds for almost a month now! That’s number 3 Miracle!

The drs also said that Keeson would have trouble gaining weight, he was born at 6.1 lbs and went down to 5.5 lbs and now weighs 7.3 lbs! We just continued to pray and speak the Word of God into the situation. 

And there is a scripture in Hebrews that says God made an oath against himself that He can’t lie against himself, so that gave us comfort that if we will continue to trust in His Word then it would be impossible for Him to fail us! The drs like to start dialysis within two weeks of having the cathoder put in, two weeks came and the drs decided they didn’t want to start yet because there wasn’t a hurry.

All Glory to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! So the drs said his kidneys will never function and they expected his toxin levels to continously riSe. The toxin levels got to a certain point and stopped! It caught my attention then on his due date he actually released toxins abd that told us that his kidneys were functioning! The drs were very shocked by now! They didn’t really have a explanation. We knew it was Jesus doing the work.

So by the time all of this happened, he was a month old! The drs never expected him to do any of the stuff he has done. He is now 6 weeks old and just now started dialysis and he is doing great! The Dr explained to some visitors yesterday that Keeson is the NICU Units miracle baby. Our son is on dialysis as of now but we know God promised to finish what He has started so we know it’ll end in complete healing!

I just really wanted to tell testimony of it and encourage some people who may be going through a hard time, JESUS CHRIST IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE. He can not and will not lie against himself so when you read His promises, know that if you stand on them then it’s impossible for Him to fail you as long as you really trust Him and believe He is who He says He is! Thanks for the opportunity to tell people about the mighty works of Jesus Christ!

A Year Ago

April 14th, 2015

A year ago I was a totally different person and finding Jesus, again, is what changed me.

I’m a shy person by nature, but a year ago, it was so much more than just being shy. It was being so crippled with fear that I would have panic attacks just thinking about getting up in front of somebody. I was also depressed, like very depressed. So far to the point that I had turned to hurting myself. Every day that I got out of bed, I was disappointed that I had woken up. I would have vivid daydreams of ways I could end my life. It was terrible, but I refused to reach out for help. My pride got in the way of that.

I quit doing things I loved like photography and going to church. I basically quit everything. I reduced my social interactions to school, and that’s it. I never volunteered to do anything. I just laid low and let life slip by. I was so utterly hopeless at such a young age that I didn’t think I would ever make it out of that place.

Through out all of this, my faith is was suffered the most. I stopped believing that God was on my side. If he was really on my side, then I wouldn’t be feeling like this, would I? He wouldn’t let me, a follower since I can remember, feel like I’d rather die than do anything else. It was a struggle between two things. Either God didn’t exist, or he simply didn’t care. Those seemed like the only logical explanations. I stopped going to church, because what’s the point of worshipping someone who doesn’t care, or doesn’t exist.

I can still remember so vividly the day that changed my life. It was a Wednesday night and I was sitting at home instead of at church where I should have been. I was in my room alone, having another breakdown while. I was crying, screaming, the whole nine yards, and I was so close that night to ending my life. I was so close that I had gone to the medicine cabinet and picked out which bottle of pills I would be swallowing. When I came back with them, I set them down on a stack of books on the table next to my bed and went off to write a note. I came back and grabbed the bottle and noticed that I had set them on top of my bible. My bible hadn’t been opened in months so I figured I would open it. I don’t know why I opened it, but when I did it opened to Romans 8:18.

Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.

This verse didn’t just save my life, this verse changed my life. I started crying again. But it wasn’t because I was sad or because I was scared, but because I was so ashamed. I was so ashamed of my actions towards God, and how much I had pushed him away.

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God! (?Psalms 43:5 NLT)

I’m a completely different person today that I was a year ago. I go to church, and my relationship with god is stronger that it has ever been. I still struggle with self-doubt, depression, and anxiety, and I will for the rest of my life, but thanks to God, it isn’t nearly as bad as it had been. I would never say that I am glad that I went through this, but it’s made me a better person and I thank god ever day for that. I realized now, that God truly did have a plan for me, and that no matter how badly things get, it’s all for a reason.

Hi,

I have been celibate for over a year now, I decided to dedicate my entire life to the lord and surrender myself to him about 4 months ago, since then amazing things have happened in my life. God brought the man of my dreams into my life, we both have so much love for Christ and both feel like we have been looking for each other our whole lives, our relationship is God centered and we have decided to save sex for marriage.

My love and desire to fulfill my calling for the Lord has been so strong that I have become a huge target for Satan, I am under constant attack from the devil, it has literally been one thing after another. So far every-time I have seen his tricks and turned away, strengthening my bond with Jesus. He has thrown everything but the kitchen sink at me, and now he is using my past against me. I started to develop symptoms of HSV 2.

Last year was a horrible year for me and I was involved in having unprotected sex, it continuously haunts me and I want more than anything to have my body washed from any fifth associated with my past actions, I am renewed in Christ and it is my prayer that my body be healed and also renewed.

I am absolutely convinced that I have HSV 2 and I go in tomorrow March 26th for testing. I need a miracle. I have been absolutely devastated over this, I literally could not eat for the last 2 days because I was so overwhelmed with worry and fear and guilt, scared that the results will be positive and what it would mean for the future of me and my boyfriend. I have thrown myself at the feet of God and I have repented honestly in my heart. I know in my heart it is His will to heal me, and I know for a fact that He is bigger than this virus.

I hope with every fiber of my being that God shows me a MIRACLE and the test results come back negative. I know there is power in prayer, so I am asking you all to pray for me, that he will heal my body and rid me of this virus and that my results come back negative next week. I will update you once I know the outcome. God bless.

AMEN.

I believe I am living a testimony now. There are some petitions I have before God; some about spiritual growth, and others about emotional and personal growth that I am believing in him to work out. And I know I’m growing because God has me in a place now where I’m learning to work with people who I know don’t like me and yet still I’m able to love them. Every day I wake up is a testimony; the fact that I have two eyes and functioning body parts, a roof over my head and a loving family back home is enough for me to give him praise. I am so blessed to have wonderful Christian hearted people in my life and my inner circle. God is so awesome that he knows what you need even before you realize what you need. It is only by the grace of God that I’m not one of those people living in tent city, strung out on drugs, motherless/fatherless, or buried 6 ft. under. But every Christian should know God has a plan for your life.

The bible says in Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

There is no failure in God. He wants to bless all of his children. All we have to do is open our hearts and allow him to dwell there. In 2005 I was involved in a car accident, and God spared my life and had mercy on me. But before that accident I was in a place in my life where I allowed sin to separate me from God. I stopped going to church, I stopped praying and reading the bible. I stopped being a witness for Christ. So, I look at that accident as a divine intervention that drew me closer to God. I am so grateful that God loves us so much and that he never leaves or turns him back on us.

Ephesians 2:8 says

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”

Had God not spared my life in that accident there was no doubt in my mind where I would open my eyes up. HELL, and yes, it is real.
When I was growing up, my mom and I didn’t have the greatest relationship. My parents divorced when I was very young and although, my mom never said this from her mouth, I believed a lot of our differences were because she thought I reminded her most of my dad. But by no means was I a saint either. Our relationship was so bad that I thought about running away. I made poor choices growing up because of how strict she raised me. Anything that was fun, I had no part of it. I was not even allowed to go to my senior prom and she didn’t show up to my high school graduation or one of the most important days in my life-my wedding. Can you imagine how I felt? My mom, the one who gave birth to me, taking no part of my life; although she had plenty of opinions to throw my way. My mom is not perfect by any means and I do believe to a certain extent that she did the best she knew how to at the time, because she was dealing with her own hurt. A couple of years ago I forgave my mom for the way she treated me and put the rest in Gods hands. To this day our relationship is still not the greatest, but it’s much better. I use to not communicate with her, to save myself from disrespecting her and shorten my days here on earth.

Exodus 20:12 says:

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”

God is good. He’s an awesome savior who not only shows us what love is, but how to love one another and he fills the void we have in our lives. We just have to trust him and let him have his way.And in doing so, after I came to the realization that my life is not my own and that I can do nothing without God, he is able to use me for the uplifting of his kingdom. By following the guideline in 1 Corinthians on love, I am able to be walk in love and be a better mother for my son.

For the bible says in James 1: 2-4:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

So, whenever I face trials and tribulations in my life, first I know that it’s only for a season and that it’s just a test of my faith, knowing that we live by faith and not sight. And I know that I’ll grow as a person and spiritually becoming complete and not lacking anything. Again, allowing God to fill a void.

Faith has gotten me very far in my life. It doesn’t even take that much, the size of a mustard seed is all you need. Luke 1:37

“For nothing is impossible with God.”

When I was jobless and had no transportation, it was my faith that got me through. When I was believing in God for a house, it was my faith that got me through. When the devil tried to attack my body, it was my faith that got me through.

Faith is belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. It’s being able to see something without seeing. It’s asking and praying to God and then believing that it’s already done.

I’m so glad that I’m saved and Jesus lives in me. Salvation is a gift from God that anyone may receive by exercising faith in Christ and repenting for their sin (Acts 20:21). Some of the benefits of this salvation is that we become “new creations in Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:17), our sins are forgiven; we receive eternal life and become children of God. We also receive the Holy Spirit, who enables us to live a new life based on God’s requirements and to spread the gospel to others (Acts 1:8 and Acts 2:38).

Non-believers cannot enjoy the full benefits of knowing God in this life, such as peace, comfort and help in times of trouble, if they are not born again, and will not spend eternity in God’s presence.

I would like to end my testimony with two scriptures.

1 John 2:15-16 which says:

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world–the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does–comes not from the Father but from the world.”

Matthew 16:26 says:

“What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

In Acts 3-12,13,Peter mentions to the crowd after he healed the cripple in Christ name,

“Men of Israel, why do you marvel at this? Or why look so intently at us, as though by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk? 13 The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of our fathers, glorified His Servant Jesus,”

My testimony of the greatness of the name of JESUS : I am an animal lover. In my locality, I know every dog that roams on the street. Among these is a beautiful golden fellow who I named Fluffy, because of his glorious fur. To my dismay in the month of October, he got mange and became a mess…itching, bleeding, scaly and his fur all fell out. I was so upset and didn’t know how to help him. Suddenly the thought came to my head, if I cant heal a dog then my faith is not much! A dog is flesh: no spirit. All flesh follows my spirit because

“He who is within me is stronger than he who is in the world.” 1John 4:4

Every time I passed Fluffy on my errands, I would just say

“be healed in the name of Christ Jesus”.

Friends within days, he stopped itching, started eating. He was so grey and disgusting but I was searching for his healing and I could see it happening! the itching stopped, the bleeding stopped, started gaining weight, FUR STARTED GROWING.

Today he is back to his old self. That dog is a testimony to the Name of Jesus!

I have one more to relate. My mother in law is unsaved as yet. In December she contracted a terrible cough. She couldn’t sleep AT ALL. She is not exactly supportive of my faith to put it mildly. I kept on having the urge to give her the Word to claim but each time I would withdraw in the fear of being ridiculed. But one night the cough was so bad that I just went and in the name of Christ prayed and rebuked that illness. Friends that cough just dried out and didn’t return.

In both these instances, I was relying totally only on His name. A dog will never condone my faith :-) and neither would mummy, but in both instances, I was convicted my faith and His name is enough! and it WAS.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. – Psalm 34:5

Praise the Lord!!!

Jesus Protected A Girl

March 7th, 2015

Brother and sisters in Jesus Christ.
Let the love of Jesus Christ dwell with you forever in Jesus name. Amen

I would like to share a testimony as we know women are not safe in India but one thing which I personally experienced while on my way to Allahabad in train.  I was sitting on upper berth reading a book of Joyce Meyer then I a saw a family standing and arranging seats so that can sit there. One of them asked their daughter (might of 20years or more) to sit on my seat. I gave her place to sit and her parents sat on the next coach. A boy sitting next to my seat started staring her.

Next station a group of boys boarded the train they were also travelling to Allahabad, they to notice the girl and started staring at her. The girl felt uncomfortable so she hid her face under her lap. But the boys didn’t give up. Then suddenly one boy threw a piece of paper on her but she ignored it. I was feeling very uncomfortable and was very shocked to see this, I wanted to stop them by my strength but I was alone so could not help. I was praying to our lord Jesus that he should do something. Meanwhile I started reading bible so that the girl might ask me for the bible, but our god is an awesome god.

Later one of the boys came next to the girl and started staring at her very closely and then threw paper at her. The girl threw paper away and called her mother and asked if there are any seats next to theirs. But there were no seats so her parents request her to sit on my seat.

Then I dare to talk to her I offered her a bible but she refused then I shared with her a testimony of believer girl (Following Christ) from Pune who was coming from office late night as she was walking towards her house she found a group of men drinking. To her fear she started praying to Jesus and repeated a quoted from bible of PSALM 91.

A thousand may fall at your side,
and ten thousand at your right hand;
but it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.

Then the girl reached her home miraculously without been disturbed by the group of men. Next day she read on the newspaper that on same place where this girl saw the group of men drinking raped a girl last night and those men were arrested. She became very curious to know why she was saved so she went to the police station and met those prisoners and asked them, she too crossed the same road then what made them not to harm her. To this they replied

“we actually planned to rape you first but we saw to 2 huge person dressed in white cloth walking behind you.so we did not dare to touch you.”

These two huge persons were the angels of God whom Jesus had sent to protect her daughter.

(Main Story continued) after hearing this testimony that girl who was travelling in train with me took the bible from my hand started reading it.  Then suddenly I was really shocked and amazed to see the group of boys who were staring at her, did not dare to look into her eyes and they all eloped from there.

I was so thankful to JESUS that he fulfilled his words and save that sister sitting next to me.

The girl could make out the difference after taking the bible so she asked me is there any procedure I need to follow to read this bible, I said you can read it any time any day and try to read it regularly and read it every morning. Even if you have not taken a bath you can read it.  Jesus is looking for clean heart.

When her station came she kept the bible in her bag and got down from the train.

I really want to thank Jesus for he is greatest of greatest and is the true living God and he protected that girl and encouraged her that He is with her at the end of the world, even her parents cannot be with her all the times but he will be with her all the times.

Thanks to Jesus.

Healed and Forgiven

March 6th, 2015

Written February 28th, 2015 @ 4:04pm
Jessica Wolf- Cheyenne, WY

My Testimony

Sunday, May 13th 2007
It was Mother’s day of that year and I hadn’t been to church in almost 2 years. I’d been raised on Christian beliefs my entire life. My dad asked if I’d join them for a special guest speaker service at Cheyenne Christian Center which is now Family Harvest. He said Dick Mills was going to be preaching for us. I had no idea who the man was but I decided I might as well. It might keep my mind off of the holiday at hand.

Dick had a wonderful message. I couldn’t tell you what it was anymore because what happened during, made me forget that anyone else was even present. At some point during his sermon, he asked all the mothers to stand up. I winced and held back tears immediately wishing I hadn’t agreed to be there. Wishing I would’ve stayed at home in bed. My safe zone. As I sat there, he gave the moms a message from God, praising them for being the women they are and encouraging them in all ways of the Lord. When they finally sat down I relaxed some.

Not too long after that, he got quiet for a brief moment and then turned my direction. He pointed right at me and said, “Young lady, please stand up. The Lord has something he wants me to share with you.” I froze, not knowing what was about to happen had me in complete panic. He reassuringly prompted me to stand once more. This time I did and stood there beat red and restless. He continued by saying, “God wants you to stop messing with all these stupid boys. They can’t love you the way God wants you to be loved. They can’t cherish you the way God wants you to be Cherished. He has a husband waiting for you but first you need to seek Him in all things. No man before Him. He loves you more than anyone ever will.” I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Just fought back tears and nodded. Pastor Mills then told me I could sit down with a very sincere smile across his wonderful God fearing face.

You see, not even a year and a half before that, I was pregnant. At only 17 years old I was scared, felt alone in my own thoughts and was extremely sick. I lost roughly 10 to 15lbs the first month after finding out. I had crushed both my parents as well as my heavenly Father. After influence from some people and feeling like I had no other option, I decided I was going to get an abortion. We scheduled the appointment in Boulder, Colorado and I tried to cut my emotions off. The night before the appointment, I laid in bed and my emotional dam split wide open. Tears fell and I prayed, it was all I could think to do. I asked God to tell me somehow if I was doing the right thing or not, to give me a sign. After saying ‘Amen’ in a very muffled sarcastic tone I said, “twins would be an obvious one”.

At the clinic, you had to walk through 3 walls of bullet proof glass. There was so much paperwork and I was terrified I was making the wrong decision. After intake and everything else they had me go through, I met the doctor. He was an older man, emotionless and seemed to avoid eye contact as much as possible. He explained that he was going to do an ultrasound to see where the baby was. As he looked at the screen, his eyes squinted ever so slightly and he asked me if I had done this with my OBGYN in Cheyenne yet. I told him no and while he stopped the machine and removed his gloves he told me I was having twins and that if I needed a minute he would lead me to a private room and get my mom for me. I nodded. I knew right then that God hadn’t taken my sarcasm lightly and that I was not supposed to be there. We needed to leave immediately. Mom didn’t hesitate and we went home.

One night, about a week later, after finally being able to eat without becoming nauseous, I ate 6 pancakes to myself, fairly big ones at that. Mom got home from work and I followed her to her bathroom up the stairs. I sat on her bed while she did her usual makeup removal routine. I didn’t even get 15 minutes of conversation before I knew I had to race for the toilet. I puked every last bit of pancake back up. I laid on the bathroom floor sobbing. My poor body had had enough and I was helpless. I told mom I wanted to go through with the termination.

The next week we were back at the clinic and going through everything I had bailed on previously. They require an over night stay in town for a part of the procedure to be more effective. I won’t share those details. Laying at the hotel, I wanted to go home so badly. To this day I don’t know why I didn’t just say something. The afternoon of the next day I was lying on an examination table, drugged and being “operated” on. I wanted to cry but no tears came. I was numb, I felt like I was dying and I was screaming on the inside ‘Jessica get up and leave! What the hell are you still doing here??!!’. I was grieving before it was even done. My head told me I was a horrible person, that if anyone found out I would be hated and ridiculed and some wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I pushed back my thoughts as best I could. Once done, I looked at the nurse and with tears finally able to come through I told her I was going to puke. She handed me a small bowl and I vomited 4 times. I was disgusted with myself. I didn’t want to be me anymore.

Once home and recovering I made the decision to lie. To tell everyone it was a miscarriage to avoid the judgment and to avoid hurting anyone who wouldn’t understand because hell, I didn’t even understand. The twins’ father comforted me as well as his whole family. The guilt washed over and through me, nightmares and shame haunted me for the next 16 months. The nightmares were so detailed and real. Their father found out the truth after the first 5 months went by and he loathed me. He was so angry. I didn’t blame him. I expected it. I was so incredibly sorry but there was nothing I could say or do to show him my guilt and remorse. He cut me off and we didn’t talk for a couple years.

Going back to the Sunday service with Dick Mills, you can now understand why mother’s day was a weakness for me and why I was so scared for Dick to call me out. I didn’t want my shame evident to the church. I wasn’t ready for anyone to know that about me when they saw me as a sweet girl with a wonderful heart. I told myself that I knew better, I was ugly and horrible and could never get away from the decision I’d made.

When it was my dating life that the Lord had Pastor Mills preach to me about, relief swept over me. I knew he was right and that God was telling me something I needed to hear but I didn’t listen. I didn’t feel worthy of Him so what was the point in listening? What was the point in living for God when I was doomed already for taking the lives of my own babies.

Later that evening, I went to Village Inn on the west side of town and was hanging out with a few friends while we waited for another friend to get off of her shift in the kitchen when Pastor Dick and Pastors Jerry and Opal walked into the restuarant. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Pastor Dick after service. Something urged me to although I couldn’t understand why, I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. Regardless, I wanted to meet this man whom I had come to find out was an evangelist spreading God’s Word wherever he was called to go. He’d been all over our continent and I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity.

I walked towards their table forcing a smile and introduced myself, shook his hand and gave my Pastors, Jerry and Opal, hugs. I told him thank you for telling me exactly what I knew I needed to hear. Before I could even gather my thoughts or feelings, I broke down right there. Through broken tears I explained my abortion to Pastor Mills and I didn’t have to mention how much I hated myself or how I thought God felt about me before he lovingly cut me off and said, “Jessica, you’re a wonderful young woman. You made a wrong decision but you’re not any less of a child of God. He forgives you and your babies forgive you as well. The problem in your heart is your lack of forgiveness in yourself. You have to let go and let God, you know that but you’ve been needing reminded. Let Him take it for you.” My tears cleared up almost instantly. He wrote down a few scriptures on a napkin for me to look up later on. To this day, I still have that napkin somewhere. I thanked him and hugged all three of them so tightly making sure I expressed how much I loved them and walked away with hope for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

Sometime within that next week, I had a dream. A good dream. Something I hadn’t experienced for too long. I was in heaven but it wasn’t anything elaborate like the out of body experiences some people have been blessed with to visit heaven. I was simply in a setting that I knew was heaven but I saw nothing except two beautiful similar looking mulatto children, one boy and one girl. They looked about 4 or 5 years old and were smiling up at me. There was a silence for a few moments and in that silence I gasped and thought ‘no way, it can’t be’ and just then their mouths opened and said to me, “It’s okay mommy. We love you and we know you love us. We’ve forgiven you.” I just starred and slowly but surely happiness swept through me. The twins reached their hands up toward my face to comfort me and wipe away the tears I hadn’t yet realized were present in my eyes. Before they could make contact, I awoke and sat straight up in my bed. I was in disbelief and then like a flood, I was able to let go of everything I’d held onto since that horrible day. Happy tears poured out and I was so grateful to God for letting me see my precious babies. They were more beautiful than I could have ever managed and they loved me! I slept peacefully through the rest of the night.

I know now that I can’t live with regret for something I cannot change. Remembering Dick Mills last night was triggered by my finishing of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and realizing just how bad my obsession was with the jealousy I felt of a fictional character. I wanted to crawl into the books and be her. After sulking and tears and longing for my own love, for the man I’m supposed to be with I was abruptly stopped in thought by the message I received that Sunday morning. ‘Stop messing with all these boys’ ‘they can’t love you the way God wants you to be loved’ ‘put God first’. I have ignored those words for almost 8 years and have been broken, battered, discouraged, taken advantage of and for granted, I’ve hurt men as well and been a guarded mess. All of that heartache could have been avoided if I would have just listened. If I would have reveled in my Savior and put my attention and time into Him and seeking His Word.

Last night, I was a mess…I was angry with myself, with God, with the world. Was angry I’d let so much of my life go to nothingness. I know what I have to do and I want so badly to be the woman He wants me to be. The woman that He’s made me to be. I want to fulfill my calling and be the daughter to Him I know I can be. I want my Daddy, my Creator, my Yeshüa to live in me and do with me as He sees fit. I’m done trying to do this life myself. I’m rededicating my heart, mind, body and soul to Him and with Him all things are possible!

Take me Lord, forgive me of my sins. Please forgive me for laziness, procrastination, answering to my flesh, for being of the world and not following you. Forgive me for thinking I could do this without you! Forgive me for not tithing, for not praying to you except in times of crisis, forgive me for using your name in vain and for being more concerned about my belongings than your way. I surrender to you! Take me and mold me. Give me strength and give me patience. Grant me peace and help me to give worry and stress to you like you’ve called your children to do. Make me whole. And all of this I ask in Jesus name. I need you Father.