First giving all praise and honor to our Heavenly Father, whom is so awesome and loving and forgiving, and so much more. God called my name before I was even conceived, and since then it has been a journey full of ups and downs…Allow me to explain:

I was raised in a good Christian home along with my eldest sister, and my mother, who was a single hard working mom. As my sister prepared to go off to college, I remember always trying to make my eldest sister spend time with me. She would always yell at me and didn’t really seem to like me very much, but I would try anyways. My tactics, were ususally to steal something valuable of hers, to get her attention of course, or I would tell on her, each time she’d have a party(when our mom left to go to work)

My life as a child was pretty much normal, and even though my dad and mom were not together, I stilll got a chance to see him every other day. After my sister left, it was just my mother and I, and this is when I began to fall in love with Jesus.

I didn’t really know who he was as a child, but I just really really loved him. I would ask questions during Sunday School and eventually, became Sunday School Secretary around 10 or 11 years old. I had a hunger for God, and I’d always seem to always understand fluidly, exactly what my Sunday School Teacher was teaching me. I eventually accepted Christ at seven or nine years old, got Baptised, and this is where my journey began…

Even at a young age, I was ministering to my first grade classmates, especially when they were doing something I knew was wrong lol I was on fire for God, and the way I felt, I wanted to let the whole world know. My first struggle in life was, reading. My first grade teacher was very very mean, and never seemed to get in trouble for grabbing our arms and jerking us by our arms and hands, yelling at us. I was her best pick…and everyday she would find something else new to pick on me about. She made sure that I didn’t go on to the second grade, and eventually I was retained. It’s not that I was a terrible student, it’s because I was bold for God, and God had a calling on my life even then…I belive my mother knew why I was having so many problems with my teacher, but chose not to explain it to me then, because I was too young to understand.

My second year around in first grade was so much better. I will never forget Ms. Buy, and how she was so patient and kind to me. She believed in me every step of the way, and even when I would cry and half- way give up, she would wipe my tears away and help me get through it. During that time, I thought I was never going to learn how to read, but as Ms. Buy began to work with me, I eventually became the best reader in my class. I was reading at a level of that of a third of fourth grader, only in the first grade. Subsequently, I passed first grade and went on to the second grade, where I struggled with Mathematics. I ended up failing which was named at the time, the TAAS test every year, but my grades, which were A’s and B’s , help me pass into the next grade every year. Unfortunately, as I progressed through all of my grades, I eventually began to believe that I was never going to be good at math.

All through school, I not only had to deal with not being so successful with math, but I also dealt with low self esteem. My classmates, would taunt me every day, reminding me that I wasn’t skinny like the rest……Keyword: “like the rest”. When some one tells you something like that on a day to day basis, as a child, you eventually began to believe it. See, satan knew that God had a plan for my life, and his goal was to make me believe that I was a mistake, that I was fat, ugly, not worth anything, and shouldn’t be alive, which would eventually lead to suicide. Then, there you have it…I would have never been who I am today if God hadn’t been in my heart.

So, I eventually reached Middle school, and yes the tauntings of me being fat, continued. I was in search of love, and thought that maybe if I let the guys feel and touch my body, that maybe they would stop teasing me. Of course, they never did not, and the tauntings would continue. Each day I found something new to hate about myself. Starting from the way I looked, to the way I smiled. I hated the way my hands looked, and the way my feet looked. Every day it was something new. Satan had a game going, and I was falling for it. It got so bad until I began wearing big jackets every day, even in the summer. I absolutley hated the way I looked, and jackets placed me in a comfort zone. I would feel so vulnerable when ever I didn’t have one on, and would do anything I could to be hidden. NO matter what ppl would tell me, the wounds were too deep… I had no one to talk to about how I really felt, and my so called friends would talk about me, when I wasn’t around. I could n’t even talk to my mother. I was very depressed, and it was effecting my social life as well as my grades. I felt like I wanted to committ suicide, and my teachers were getting worried. I would cry sometimes and think of ways that I could do it. There were several attempts where I tried starving myself. I wouldn’t even eat lunch at school and tried going all night without eating, but I got too sick, and my body was so weak the next day. My life just wasn’t right…and I knew this was not how life was supposed to be.

This was a lot of stress and pressure on me, at the age of 15 years old. Even now, when I think back on this, I still can’t believe how I allowed ppl to bring me down so low…Well, as I reached High School, I still was struggling with math, and was still in search of someone to love me. I must add that in today’s society, this is such a huge problem. Millions of girls my age, are battiling with knowing who they are and understanding that they absolutley have purpose in this world. Satan is on the rampage, but God is still strong and moving just as fast as he.

My sophmore year, I met a guy, by the name of Terrence, whom from the first time I met him, thought he was the perfect gentlemen. I “thought” that he was the guy for me, but deception can be very poisonous. Being just 17, and he 19, I was easily manipulated, and he gained my trust. I told him things about myself that I’d never shared with anyone, and my secrets were his secrets. He would be the first guy that I would show my body to..and I did. I was so deep in denial, and by the grace of God, he didn’t take away my virginity, even though you aren’t considered a virgin anymore in the eyesight of God, if you reveal yourself in that way to a man or woman. Down the road, he became very crazy and controlling, and turned me against my own mother and family. Satan had this plan for my life, to destroy me completely, exactly what he is here for: To kill, steal, and destroy us.

We argued all the time, and he even almost beat up this guy, whom he thought I was flirting with at school. My life was a mess, and I was doing things that I know weren’t right, and things that went against my belief and values. I had totally put God on the back burner, and my boyfriend was my idol, just one of the commandments broken. It was very hard getting rid of him from my life, because each time he would text me or call me out of no where, and say how sorry he was, and each time I would allow him back into my life. He cursed me out so many times and my self-esteem was worst than ever. There were times when I wanted to run away and never look back, because I felt so unpure and unclean, and I knew that my Heavenly Father was not happy with me. I thought that, I could never recover, and eventually I finally got rid of him…and that was only because my mom bought us new phones. Even then, it was going to take a lot more mistakes with guys, until I finally reached witts end, and said enough was enough.

It was then, when the next guy talked to me just like the last one did, I realized that it was time for me to stop running. This was a round my junior year in High School. I was so tired of all the compromising, all the bad break ups, all of the verbal abuse at only 18 years old. This was not God’s plan for me, and I knew that. I began getting involved in church again, and my life has been changing every since.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

When I first read that scripture up above, some how I felt a lot like Jeremiah.The only difference is, I felt that, I was so messed up, that God couldn’t have possible called me to do something great. In spite of how i felt, I had knew all along that there was something great in store for me. I was tired of running, and it was time to do it my Father’s way :-)

I now find out so many things about myself each and every day. I am very talented and just had my first sermon/speaking in January. I wouldn’t say I’m called to be a minister, but I do know that I am a teacher and speaker of the word. This is my last year in High School, and God has defiently brought me so far from where I used to be. I’ve had to let friends go and start all over again, and eventually God has given me brand new friends, whom I’ve started a Bible study with here at school! The name of our organization is Stand For Jesus(S.F.J.) and we are reaching out to students, ministering to ppl about how God can change your life. I sometimes even minister and pray for teachers and substitutes. God has been using me greatly, and I now know who I am. :-)

What an awesome God we serve! Even through the good and bad days, God will either send someone your way to remind you that he’s always there, or through some other source, especially through his word! God has great work for you, whom ever is reading this, accept His call and share it! God Bless!!!

9 Responses to “Before I Knew You, You Knew Me”

  1. AsianJesusLover Says:

    Dear sister in Christ, Jesus brought me to this place only to read your story because it resembles 80% to mine, i had gone thru the same difficulties in my life as an overwiehgt teen and was under depression until i found Christ he showed me the real meaning of life and that he has great plans for me, i praise the Lord that i hardly had any non beleiver friends in my past life, now i have brand new born again friends in christ and we are all so blessed in Jesuss, All the glory to JESUS for his mighty ways and miracles he does in my lives, Love you so much daddy amen

  2. Miriam Says:

    Hi Danielle
    I just wanted to tell you I’ve related to nearly everything you wrote, it gives me hope and makes me want to spread the love and word of God even though I’m extremely shy and anxious, but through God I know i can get through that.
    Thanks for sharing your wonderful story, GOD BLESS!

  3. altagrace Says:

    dear sister in christ,i read your story,i belive it.God will be with you one evrything you do in your life.Thanks for sharing your sory.

  4. danielle19 Says:

    Thank you all for your beautiful comments! :-) I love you dearly, and to Miriam…God gives you Boldness and confidence the more you grow in hIm, because I was the same way! So hang in there, and keep reading the word of God! Most importantly keep praying! God Bless you all!

  5. Alison :) Says:

    Hey my name is Alison and im 20. I was reading your story and its very similar to mine. i became a christian in 2005 and my faith has been up and down over the last 6 years. Over the last month or so ive really been on fire and im serving God with my whole heart and im trusting Him and through that he is blessing me with so much. I just wanted to say that there will be times that satan will cause you to doubt and just generally bring you down. Stand firm in Gods word and satan cannot harm you. I found that out this week particularly :) thanks for sharing cause i feel that God made me read it and trust him more :D! keep up your faith girl!! X x x

  6. danielle19 Says:

    Hey Allison! God Bless you my sister in Christ!
    Yes…Satan has defiently been attacking me a lot lately in all areas of my life. It’s as if there’s no peace anywhere! Not even at church….There is sooooo much going on. And like you said, if we just stand firm in what the word of God says, it renews us mentally and physically. It’s so important that we renew our minds daily with the word of God, prayer, and worship. It’s been pretty tough Sis, but I will defiently keep you in prayer, and you do the same for me. We can make it! I have to sometimes remind myself that God knew exactly what he was doing when he called me…So he knows what we can handle. Love you with the love of Christ Jesus! God Bless!!!!!

  7. Alison :) Says:

    Hey I will pray for you! You’re message back gave me some encouragement there I really needed it thanks. Give me an email if you need me for anything okay ( x_ alison_mills_x[at]hotmail.co.uk ) love you Sis :) God bless Xx

  8. Amber Keys Says:

    WOW…. thank you SO much for sharing! I’m 28 and my daughter is 8. The first part of what I read really spoke to me about my daughter and the last part really spoke to me about myself. I can see very clearly Satan’s plans now and by you sharing your testimony it helped me to see that! Thank you so much for sharing!! May God keep your fire burning until the day He brings you home!! God bless you sweetie!! :D

  9. danielle19 Says:

    Hello Amber!!!! You don’t know how much joy it brings me, when I know that someone can relate with me. Amber, the enemy is out to destroy this generation, and he is using music, tv, radio, and all other sorts of things to corrupt this generation. Please continue to share wisdom with your daughter, because she is really going to need it. I can hear God saying, that he is restoring peace back into your home and life. Your daughter will be an awesome young lady, but you’ve got to keep her ROOTED and GROUNDED in the word of God. God Bless You!!! And I love you with the love of Christ Jesus!!!
    Oh yea, and here’s my email for you all, its: itsthegodinme17@yahoo.com

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