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I am Free From the Demon of Depression, panic attacks and social fear.
August 16th, 2012
My dear brothers and sisters , Praise the Mighty God . I have good news for you. Jesus is the same , today, yesterday and forever.
Here is my personal story.
In 1993, I was taken to a foreign land to study. I had no coping mechanisms, since I was young and foreign, i resorted to lying. I mean i could come up with stories about something that has never happened. If i was a fictious writer, i would have got a Nobel price for my talent. The students in that school automatically gave me a nickname “Mr Hare”. I would lie myself out of a problem, lie myself into being loved, lie my way into a teacher’s heart. I mean i was the master of deceit. When I left for High school, the art was perfected on a different level. I found myself being voted to be the counsellor (a status position , where privileges like freebies, food came in handy in boarding school). This position was only given to a person voted in by the majority of student. I was loved by everyone because of being everything to anyone. I was like a chameleon, you would say in a sense.
Now, i want to tell you something brethren, the devil is the master of planning. He always has an intenion when he gets you into something , and you keep practising against your concious, thinking it is a small thing. You see , i had the world in my hands but later did i know, i was getting set up by the devil. Two years into high school, I left my continent and headed into another continent. Different culture , different life style. I was used of pleasing people, making them feel at home but this time the tables were turned . I mean every kind of lie or fictious story i would come up with [ to warm up to anyone] backfired. Every little apporach to please anyone would come back to bite me. The citizens of this community were not into mingling with other cultures, infact they were not used to people who were of a different background . The devil sent me into a state of confusion, where I would look for ways and plans to please these guys but whenever i tried, i would be sent back with frustration and failures lol. All my sense of belonging that revolved around large group of friend for social contact came to an abrupt end . The devil had got me where he wanted. You recall what i told you , i relied on peoples praise and what they thought about me , to go through a day. Well, these people thought about me in a different way, they made sure i got it into my mind. Getting abused was the order of the day. I automatically went into a defence mode. I thought that everyone of this community was of this type. I just need to cope up . I eventually decided to withdraw from the community. I found myself in the house for over 6 months . Later did i fall into the trap of being hauled by the demon of social fear . I found myself having to hide from visitors, avoiding to go to the shops, avoiding to go out of the house, or even just looking out of my window. I was a prisoner in my own room. There are moments i would just lie to my mum that am tired and dont have the strength to wake up. The devil loved this, he made sure to torment me with his lies.
I never believed in the word of God, even though i knew it but it was not sinking in my mind to take hold of my thoughts. I never knew why this was until today when God revealed a scripture to me:
“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! ….If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.” (John8:42-47)
This scripture is very true because all my life i was a liar , and all i knew was this native language of Satan. To all of you reading this, do not ever practice lying , because my friends – you perfecting your minds to this native language of Satan. When you read the word of God , you will never understand Him at all. Understanding the Word of God will be like trying to listen or read Chinese and yet you have never come across it .
Anyway, i was taken down this dark road of hopelessness . I saw everyone with suspicion, thinking they were here to make me feel bad, or criticise me , or ridicule me. Going to university was a menace . The spirits recharged their torment. The regular need to attend a class without feeling the tension set the panic attacks in. I mean i would get these overwhelming fears of fear , throbing down my stomach, propelling my heart to record speed heart beats, sweating was a regular thing. I was like a human sprinter doing 100 m track race and yet doing it while seated, not moving a muscle. The organs just kept pumping up till i would leave the room. This only meant one thing, the more i avoid these social situations the less panic attacks would hit me. Little did i know it was another set up by the master of liars. He was robbing my time , year after year without my knowledge. After four years of university, hardly attending classes, i left without a decent degree. I went back home , still in the same situation.
Think of how a zombie is , thats how i was. The panic attacks would disable every thought process. I would go numb, and not speak with authority. I had no confidence at all. Every time i met people, i tried to look for ways to control the conversation or suck up to them so that my mind would be at peace. My friends, this were several spirits working in harmony to destroy and kill me.
After 12 years of torment , early this month i thought to myself – enough is enough. I sat down and looked up for healing forums on google. I found this beautiful site. The testimonies of what God has managed to do in all of your lives lit up bulbs in my mind. They gave me hope that He can do to me what he did in your lives. I limited my time on internet [ a tool i used daily to offset my depressive thoughts] . I made sure if i was to use the net, i would just come and read the testimonies .
A week in, i naturally entered a state of praying. I prayed for these spirits to leave me , but still the doubtful thoughts clouded my mind. I later asked someone to pray for me and he gave me keith moore’s videos to watch. One of them was about thanking God in every circumstance you are in . I decided to thank and praise God about His goodness over my life. Everyday my faith grew in God. It was not easy but I had to over look those nagging thoughts that many depressed people have .
Today morning, at 7 am , i woke up and took a shower, head to a silent room and started praying with earnesty. I asked God to slay every demon. I started mentioning their names… The demon of Fear [ slay its head off and torment it for more than a thousand years, cast it out from my mind, heart and soul] , The demon of panic attacks , … The demon of Procrastination …. The demon of second guessing what people think about me…… The demon of worrying , …. The demon of visualising negative things before they even happen.. .I prayed in Jesus , and thanked God . In the middle of the prayer, i felt my stomach churning, and felt an ease beyond any kind of peace i have ever felt. I knew it was Almighty Jesus doing this , His blood poured through those wounded sores , and replenished the damaged areas of my mind, destroyed every bondage that Satan had laid on me , i can tell you my brothers as i write this , He is still filling my mind with tingles of joy , i think the more i praise Him and give testimony about this the more i get this over joyful feeling. And i will keep doing this to shut down satan who robbed this temple of God for 12 years. I wonder what Jesus would have used me for all those 12 years. If i meditated the word of God daily and walked with Him. I would have reached alot of people. But there is still more time, and i am confident HE will make more use of his temple , now that am healed.
To all of you who have no hope….. JESUS CHRIST Says :
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10.
Satan has stolen, killed and destroyed a bit of your life but know this, …. Jesus is coming to give you life , and give you to the fullest. I mean whatever the devil stole, killed and destroyed in your life will be restored and added more till you wont be able to handle the blessings. If He is still making you to doubt, take your time and visualise Job whose family, livestock, wealth, and his body were completely destroyed but God covered him with blessings that doubled what were destructed by satan.
Our righteousness is not based on how we feel, or how much good we do. I am because Jesus Christ is righteous.
Our health does not depend on what disorders we have right now. We are healthy because Christ in us is HEALTH. Therefore am healed because Jesus Christ is pure and free from any defection.
God bless you all.
ps: send in your prayer requests, we need to pray for one another because we are family.
August 17th, 2012 at 1:59 am
God bless you bro,
i am so inspired by your story.
God will perfect what He has started in you.
Stay blessed!
August 17th, 2012 at 8:00 am
Thank you for your testimony!
God bless you abundantly. May He use you for His glory.
His favor and blessing – may it rest upon you.
August 17th, 2012 at 11:33 am
Michael thanks my brother { God bless you, Whatever he started , He will bring it to an end for His glory. thanks alot. ]
Nina thanks my sister, { God bless you , His presence be with you too my friend}
Depression is an enemy to Faith. No wonder people going through this demonic stronghold find it difficult that they can ever get healed. A physical disabled person will have more faith for their healing than a depressed person. Why do i say this ?
Depression trains your mind to doubt and doubt… you find yourself in a cycle of doubt and a captive of your own thoughts. Its like an ongoing ritual. Asleep or or awake the mind worships the lies and doubts. Till you walk with voices in your head that are never yours.
If faith can lead a person to heal , how can a doubtful person heal.
Now tell me , how can this person read the word and believe it straight away. He is fighting with the most serial doubts . Same with addicts , the same spirits that attack the mind of a depressed, attack any kind of addict.
There is good news though. At first before i got free from this , i thought i will die this way. Infact i thought it was my death sentence. Until I went through deep insights of the journals and research about depression. It all came to this one thing, change the words you feed your mind after a session of depression , and your thoughts will fit in well. Thereby giving a rise to positive feelings. With feelings of joy and peace, your habits , your character automatically changes to fit what your feelings are portraying. Now the problem with this, they give a soultion of counselling, hypnosis and some other mind altering tools. Its like fighting the devil with another devil. lol. The devil is canning, even if the people who go through this sessions come out well , they always get back to that lane , infact becoming worse.
Now , as a scientific minded person, I wanted to see really , what gets me the perfect cure and the ultimate solution because I was fed up of this blues. I went to different sites to find out about testimonies , met some few people who swore on the WORD of God that it healed them. THese people i met, looked so Pure and lit up compared to those who took the other mind controlling tools. Infact they had gone to further fields to help other people, unlike the ones who were on these mind controlled tools.
I finally thought to myself, the only way is this WORD of God . I will be stupid to use a lie to fight a lie. I would rather use the Truth against a Lie and see its impact. I decided that Word of God on a “24/7″ [ at least several hours , constantly ringing down my ear canal] was the best dose. To counter attack the nagging voices and words , I needed to listen to more of God. I suggest many of you to get a mp3 player or just turn on the word of God in bible gateway.com , listen to it while your going to sleep [ your subconscious mind will let the Words flock in , even when your sleeping, don't worry , the words still seep through your subconscious mind}. The advert gurus have used this art for centuries, where when your watching t.v , you thought process mind is shut and your mind is loose to anything that flocks in. This is when your subconscious mind is very active, anything that comes through your eyes or ears, easily takes root . The subconscious is that area that deals with your automatic reactions, phobias, habits . No wonder it is always sought of by multi cooperation's. Anyone who has control of your subconscious mind has control of you. In essence the subtle adverts in magazines, on t.v are aiming to control you .
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Take the helmet of salvation and
the sword of the Spirit, which is the WORD of God. "
[ Ephesians 6:10-17 ]
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” [Hebrews 4:12]
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. [Ephesians 6:18]
Bless you all my brethren
ps : THE CHAINS THAT HOLD YOU IN , WON’T KEEP YOUR GOD OUT.
September 4th, 2012 at 3:41 am
Thanks joshua.A REAL BLESSING indeed!
September 8th, 2012 at 3:14 pm
OMG!!Your testimony has Blessed me today!! God is faithful and He is a rewarder of those who dilligently seek Him!! I am encoraged to keep on keeping on…..I too went through anxiety attacks and fear and sometimes the enemy will try to resurface…But I command every demonic spirit to die now and go to dry places!!
October 15th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Keya
Hallelujah !!!!!!!!
Listen my friend , glory be to The Creator of the unseen and seen.
There is no power in those inferior spirits. They groan in the minds and hearts and try to take the body into captive. But the Supernatural power of God that struck them out of heaven strikes them Now. I call upon the Holy Spirit [ the Spirit of God] , Our Lord God whose feet make such enemies a foot stool for our Dad’s feet. He told us this, He is the vine and we are the branches. This MEANS the same water running through the Vine runs through us . The same Protection Our Lord Jesus has [ Thousand of angels surrounding Him on the throne] , the same Supernatural peace in His mind , In His heart , the same Overwhelming joy , the same favour from His Father, the same POWER that is in His Hands , all these and many more run through our souls, our hearts, and minds. There is no way we belong to that fallen one and his weak servants. The blood shed on the cross purchased us from such filth ! We are of a new family, the STRONGEST FAMILY in the entire universe . And nothing can be done to be removed from such a family . Glory be to God in the Highest ! ! !
October 22nd, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Thanks Joshua for this great testimony. I have been battling depression and fear for a very long time now. I have some really good days where I have the joy of the Lord but I can’t seem to stay in that place of peace and joy in God. This seems to be because the enemy floods my mind with tormenting thoughts that I have such a hard time resisting. Please pray for me. I am still believing for the victory… it can’t come fast enough for me.
October 23rd, 2012 at 11:54 am
Dear Robert
Glory be to God. You knowing just the smallest truth that this battle is already won is the first step. Infact this is what I want you to do – Take a 4 day fast every week , spending the day listening to the word of God and ignoring those negative thoughts. They can as well ring and ring louder if they want let them keep on but do not give up reading and listening to the word of God in those four days per week. The thoughts will slowly notice that you have given up being attentive to them . Remember they are like nagging little kids that will keep wanting your attention and once you give them an ounce of your energy they will suck the entire hope out of you. So my suggestion is fasting , quench these desires [ the nagging ringing thoughts ] , listen to the word , and praise and praise our Lord for winning this battle for you. Beg Him to show you the ones that are with you , to give you empowerment to overcome your unbelief and stick on His Truth [ the victory He has already done for you]. The one thing I want you to know , the minute those thoughts and past memories are brought back into your memory , do not bother fighting them , but be assured of those four days per week that you will be revenging on their nagging and torment. As in every time they attack your confidence and joy , let them have their party , knowing with all your fibre and guts that on your four day per week fast, you will battle them by deepening yourself in Prayers and Fasting. I suggest you also listen to Pastor Joseph prince , His teaching is about grace. I highly recommend you to start with this :
“Joseph Prince – Grace Revolution – 13 Nov 11″
Its in Youtube
God bless you my brother ,
and i am going to keep you in prayer.
once you have increased your faith and understanding in God , you can ask for that ultimate healing , that has no doubt in it at all.
Right now its all about increasing your understanding about God, that will only prepare you to fight bigger obstacles in life than depression.
You are Chosen , you never chose Him. No matter what your enemies have planned against your soul , they have no chance over you . The truth is about to be revealed my brother.
Hallelujaaaaah !
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Robert am sorry, please ignore the link i gave you in the other long reply to you.
After the moderator checks my reply and allows my long response and allows it on here. Please follow the practical advice I have given you.
Meanwhile please listen to these sermons
– Joseph Prince – The Secret Of Hearing That Brings Untold Blessings – 9 January 2011
- Joseph Prince – Jesus—The End Of Your Struggles – 12 Feb 2012
- Joseph Prince – Jesus\’ Blood Cries Forgiveness, Righteousness And Peace For Us! – 27 March 2011
All videos are in yotube
Please listen and download them in mp3 format by converting them in youtube converter. Listen daily and daily till they take shape in your mind.
God bless you all
I am keeping you in prayers my friends .
Hallelujah .
October 23rd, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Hi Robert,
May the Lord bless and greatly comfort you. He has good plans for you and is working all things for your good. He doesn’t want you to be tied up with fear and depression. He has a plan for you.
I’ve suffered a lot with fear, having huge anxiety about 3 years ago. My testimony of God’s help is here, if you scroll down to Feb. 27th 2012 entry for Joy:
http://www.testimonyshare.com/anxiety-panic-attacks-depression/
I am happy to say and thank the Lord! that I am still free from panic attacks and all that general anxiety that was particulary bad back in 2008/2009. I still have a problem with fear of people. I say this because when you are in the middle of fear and depression it can seem impossible it will ever end.
I can see the Lord working in my life the past 6 months blessing me with greater knowledge of his love. In the last few weeks I notice something new – that I am not afraid of authority figures like I used to be (even though I always knew the fear didn’t make sense, I still felt it). It means a lot of aspects of my job are easier.
This is a way the Lord has worked without me knowing how on earth He did it, because I’ve had huge fear of ‘authority figures’ all my life since I was a kid.
Like you somedays I have the joy of the Lord and a sense of his love and others am full of fear. But even the fact I am starting to really believe in His love is amazing progress. I never thought that could happen, even though I tried really hard to ‘get’ His love.
God’s word has been a major part of this. Somedays it was so hard to read, everything was pushing me away from it. But I made a decision that on the days I don’t feel like it at all, that I would just knuckle down and read out of obedience – like a child who just has to do his homework and no protesting.
I can’t emphasize how important His word is. Jesus says Himself that He makes us “clean” by His word. It has an effect beyond anything natural.
I really hope you are encouraged as you read this site and see the ways the Lord has helped so many people. He cares about you and has His eye on you. You belong to the Lord and He certainly won’t let you be snatched out of his hands or lost (see John 6:37-40, and John 10:28).
You are more precious than you realise.
“Oh afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with sapphires.
I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates
of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and
great will be your children’s peace.
In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far removed; it will
not come near you.
If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.”
(Isaiah 54;11+)
God bless,
Joy
October 31st, 2012 at 11:04 pm
Joy and Joshua. Thank you so much. Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me. I do plan on fasting in the next little while and I am learning to not give the thoughts my attention. Joy, it is so true what you have said about the word of God. Meditating on the word has definitely helped me. Some days are better than others but I’m believing for the victory. Also I’m learning to not walk according to my feelings but by faith.
Robert
November 1st, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Dear Father, thank you so much for our brother Robert. He is so precious to you that you thought about him before you created the world. You will never leave him alone or forsake him. Even when he can’t feel you with him, you are closer than a brother. Thank you that nothing at all, and no one, can separate him from your boundless love for him in Christ Jesus. Thank you that you stay near the broken-hearted and bandage their wounds. Thank you that you are at work in Robert, and at work in his circumstances, working all things out for his good. Thank you that your Spirit is interceding for him with groans too deep for words to express. Thank you that the Lord Jesus is always interceding for him. Thank you that you will bring to completion the work you have begun in him.
Amen.
**
Robert, just a thought, please ignore if you don’t find this helpful.. Your last comment made me think, ie. where you mention walking not “according to feelings but by faith”.
It mentions in God’s Word that we should live by faith. Absolutely. We certainly should, with the Holy Spirit’s help. There is no doubt about that. God is pleased with our faith.
My concern is that the phrase ‘walking by feelings and not by faith’ confuses completely different issues and can cause problems. For example, it seems to imply we should ignore our feelings (especially the bad ones!).
This was one of my problems.. for many years I understood this to mean we should ignore our feelings (which I was already in the habit of doing).. this got me into huge anxiety, and even before that, a period of absolutely terrible depression.
The last year or two I’ve been learning the importance of feelings. Not that we ‘live by’ them, but that we USE them. When our feelings don’t line up with how the Word implies they should. The issue is not the feeling, but the beliefs that lie behind the feeling. You can learn a lot about your hidden inner beliefs by paying attention to your feelings. E.g. you might discover you don’t trust God has forgiven you in one particular area, or you discover that you don’t really trust in His love. It is very helpful to pay attention and realise what the area is, because then you can be more specific in what you do. You can find scriptures that speak to that exact area.
Harnessing your feelings like this helps get to the heart of the real areas we have issues with. It’s nearly like preaching God’s word to the ‘unsaved’ parts of ourselves that haven’t ‘heard’ the good news, if that makes sense.
I thought for years that I believed God loved me. It took a long time to realise it was an intellectual belief. The true belief was that I wasn’t really convinced God loved me, at least most of the time. I would have realised this a lot sooner, if I hadn’t ignored my feelings. I used to beat myself up over bad feelings too. And feel even worse. It’s a hard habit to get out of, but I am getting a bit better.
Maybe it was just me with this issue with feelings. Sorry for the big ramble. Just wish I had known this sooner myself! Hope something there helps.
God bless,
Joy
December 13th, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Thank you Josh for your testimony, it was very edifying! Please pray for my daughter Shaylee who also suffers with these same afflictions. God bless you always and may you continue to be a blessing to others!
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:19 am
Thank you for your Testimony.
Somewhere up you said let’s pray for each other.
That’s why i came to resquest your prayers.
I’m a born again since 2003 but on my way i felt on fornication(2012) with my girl friend.
I’m very sorry and demolished for what i did.
Despite that, i have decided to see a doctor during this month of January to do some examination specialy the hiv one.
My request is to pray for me, so that all the results come out NEGATIVE (-).
And i promise to God and myself to not fall again.
Pray also for my girl friend.
Thanks for your prayers.
February 5th, 2013 at 11:41 pm
I thank God for you, you have blessed me with ur honest testimony ! Oh wonderful our God in Christ Jesus is .. He turns are moments of miserly in to beauty only God can do this .. blessit be the name of the Lord ..Your story makes me think of the blind in the bible that called out to Jesus saying son of David .. and the crowd thought his blindness came from sin by his mother or father or wrong he had done . JESUS said he was blind to display GODS glory… Wow that amazes me cause it makes me realize that sometimes the burdens in our lives are there to display he glory and power .. How awesome to be used by God. Please pray for me , ive been very depressed lately ..very heavy feeling .. and I know its a demonic stronghold trying to make give up ..im getting baptized Sunday Feb .10 and im not gonna allow nothing to stop me. I’m running in the arms of Jesus and I never look back ♡♡♡:)