April 7th, 2012
First start off with, God is good and forever will be. All is His and He will forever reign Amen.
I was surely under the devils control. Once in a while I would have the urge to look up porn and masturbate. It became more like an everyday thing. The crazy thing about it is that I knew what I was doing was bad and definitely sinful in the eyes of the Lord. whenever I wold be finish, I felt this great amount of guilt inside me. There was an extreme battle going on within me that The Lord my God wanted me to win. I certiamly knew that God wanted me to stop and save me because one time as I was doing it, a voice inside me constanltly told me, what you’re doing is a sin. It is a sin. Stop”. I figured to myself that it was just myself talking and ignored it. This problem became a very troyblesome thing to me that I decided to stop and try to win God back into my life. That I knew that He wanted His son[me] back. I prayed constantly asking and crying for help. PLease God help me. Help me stop what the devil is having me do. And I must say, never give up praying my brothers and sisters. He is listening and will always take care of you. All you have to do is accept Him as Lord and savior. He loves both you and me that He is will to help us overcome all odds. So, one night I prayed tremendously and I believe that God had had enough of my suffereing. That night as I was sleeping, in the middle of the night, I suddenly woke up and couldnt talk. A certain type of fear and restriction came over me. I was awake and looking straight up to the ceiling but I couldn’t talk nor open my mouth. Then a constant talking inside me repeatdly said “pray”. I just prayed the whole night and then all I know it was morning. I woke up in the morning and it was like a new me inside. The urge of that sexual feeling to look at porn was gone. I would not think of it nor would I accept it. Since then I have been thanking God and till now I still do. My brothers and sisters, let me say that when you pray and it just seems like you are not being answered, doesnt mean He isnt listening or is not caring. God really loves you and cares for you like a father caring for his child. You are His child and He wont ever let you go. Give Him a chance to love you and believe that He will prevail over any obstacle for you. All He asks is for you to love and believe in Him. May the Lord our God richly bless you and heal you from what you are going through. Pray for His mercy. Pray for His love. Pray for His Care. God bless you! I hope one day we meet where He says we will all meet. Thank you for reading. I will also pray for you.