April 8th, 2012
It’s 2.00 a.m. in the morning and I got this strong urge to share this with you. And so I had to put pen to paper.
In 1995, I first met Him. My best friend Asha introduced me. At that time I never thought that He would become the very and the only reason for my living. Initially I used to meet Him only for having some diversion, but as I started to know Him, with every meeting of ours; I started admiring Him. There are many characteristic of Him that I like, but the one that touched my heart the most is of Forgiveness. I still cannot fathom can someone really forgive those who hurt him, betray him.
As our friendship grew I became inquisitive about Him. I wanted to know more about Him. He is so gentle like a still waters that everytime I am with Him I find rest. He is so full of love that it became hard for me to believe that can someone be really like this. My relationship was more of take take take and He was like give give give. And this made me wonder, how can anyone be so Selfless.
It was almost 5 years since I knew Him that trouble started brewing. There came the ‘testing period’ of every relation. I was a Muslim. My parents started questioning my relationship. They started objecting my meeting Him. I was being pressurized, emotionally blackmailed. I became scared, my heart was filled with fear. I didn’t have the strength to face the society. Even though He kept saying “I am with You, I will never leave you nor forsake you”; my faith in Him was not strong. I didn’t have the courage to publicly acknowledge Him.
And there came a time when I started ignoring Him. I started taking His goodness for granted, I would meet Him at my convenience. And finally stopped meeting Him completely. But even then He never complained. He still cared for me, His love for me did not change. He was waiting for me with His arms open. He was not a self-seeking person, but rather a self-denying person. He asked nothing for himself.
It was almost 10 years by then, and once again He demonstrated His agape Love for me. My mum was detected with cancer, and I was totally broken. There was no one who could share my pain, take away the burden from my heart, remove those dreadful fears from my heart except Him. And even though I had left Him; at that crucial point in my life He was there. Standing right beside me like a Rock. He did not condemn me. He refreshed my broken soul and filled the emptiness of my heart. He lifted my crushed spirit and regained my trust. He soothed my wounds and had compassion towards me. His unwavering love for me made me fall in love with Him all over again, and so eventually I admitted my Love to Him on 10th September 2006. I accepted Jesus as my King and Saviour.
Since then everything has changed. It’s amazing, because I know that he loves me enough to die for me even though I basically spent 20 years ignoring him. I have heard of many martyrs, world’s historic leaders who have died: they wanted to dominate men, to annex continents, to enslave people, to have prestige by forced allegiance. But no one died for Humanity. No one died to take your balme on their head. There are leaders who are mocked or hit by people but no one said “I Forgive You” to the one who killed them . And so I’ve got absolutely no doubt that the way He sets out for me to live, in the Bible, is the perfect way for me to live, and that knowing Him is worth more than absolutely anything.