My STD Story from a Former Escort

December 15th, 2007

CAUTION: This blog contains truth about the sex industry. If you are age 17 or under, please get permission from your parents. Although, statistics show the largest entry age into the sex industry is 12-17 .

Getting an AIDS test was never easy for me, because I was always afraid that my past could sneak up on me at anytime.

Back in 1992, things were different then they are today. I would wait up to two weeks to get my results, and they were always the longest two weeks of my life. When I would get that phone call from the nurse, my heart would skip a beat, as I dreaded the possibility that I was about to receive a death sentence. All of the tests came out negative. I was given the clean bill of health in 1992, and was told by my doctor that I no longer needed to be tested. I felt like God had given me a new chance at life, and I was very grateful for that.

So my life goes on. Steve and I get married and we have three children. I then formed a ministry beginning in the year 2001. So this is the happy ending, right? WRONG!

I received bad news when I went for a follow-up at my doctor’s office. By the time I received this news, it was 15 years later!

“You tested positive for Hepatitis C.” My heart sunk.

“What? That’s not possible!” I exclaimed. “I’ve been out of the sex industry for a long time. I was tested several times for several years after I left. I have had three children since then. Surely it would have been caught.”

“There was no test for Hepatitis C back in those days. It’s possible. I’m sorry, but you are going to have to give more blood work.” He put the fear of God in me. “There is also a strong possibility that you may have AIDS. Many people who have hepatitis C have AIDS.”

“How could this have happened?” I silently asked.

“Did you ever use needles?”

“No.”

“Have a blood transfusion?”

“No.”

“Have you ever had a tattoo?”

“No.”

“Well, it’s mostly caught by blood to blood, but it’s possible it could have been caught while you were in the escort service.”

I was stunned and I wanted to remain frozen in my chair. A million thoughts went through my head, faster than I could process the information. How could this have happened while I was in the escort service? I was so careful about using condoms correctly. I wanted a family more than anything. Steve and I had been together for fourteen years and had been in a monogamous relationship, so I knew all too well where I must have caught it: from the escort industry.

What did this mean? For me? For Steve and my children? My Gosh, I thought. I breastfed for over two years, and there was blood in my breast milk. Spencer hates needles! What would this mean for my ministry? I just got done telling my audience at the prostitution conference that I was disease free. I received a round of applause. How could I possibly continue my ministry?

I was escorted down the hall to give three vials of blood. I was told that the second set of blood work would tell me whether I just had the antibodies or actually had Hepatitis C. By the way the staff was treating me, however, I felt like my infection was already confirmed. Counting the next three, this made eight vials I had given in a period of two weeks. I noticed that the nurse put on extra thick gloves. Right before the nurse injected the needle, I felt myself swallow as the reality hit. My life would never be the same again.

My two week wait was a nightmare. Every minute of every day, I had wondered whether or not I was safe. Steve started getting paranoid about catching it, and I started to feel like an outcast in the family. I started doing some of my own research about Hepatitis C and learned that Hepatitis C is usually not spread through sexual relations. However, according to the AIM Medical Healthcare Foundation, the efficacy of using latex condoms in preventing Hepatitis C is still unknown, and now, I, like others, had become just another statistic. I wondered how many others, like me, faced the lies of the sex industry and the consequences of their decisions many years later.

The littlest things began to frighten me. For instance, when I would have my period, a sudden chill would come over me as I thought, Did I remember to wash the towel? Was there blood on the soap? Then, one day, I caught Spencer using my tooth brush, and I rushed to him yelling, “Why are you doing that? Don’t ever touch my tooth brush again! Never!”

Spencer just stood there with a look of fear. I felt horrible, but my only goal was to protect him.

Later that night, I tucked my four-year-old son Spencer into bed and kneeled at his bedside. I softly ran my fingers through his dirty blond hair until he fell asleep. “Please, Lord, please… if nothing else,” I whispered, “please let Spencer be okay. I deserve to have it, but he doesn’t.

The sound of my prayer woke up Spencer. “Mom? Why are you crying?” Holding my tears back, I replied, “Because you’re so beautiful, and mommy loves you.”

“Do you want my bear?” he asked.

“No, honey, you keep your bear. Mommy will be okay.” I remained at his bedside until he fell asleep again. I then went into my bedroom and prayed, crying in frustrated desperation, “Why, God? Why! Why now? Why after all these years? Why didn’t this show up then? Tell me why, God? Haven’t I done Your will? Isn’t this ministry what You want? How do You expect me to run this ministry if I’m sick! Answer me! Why are You so quiet. Why, God? Why?” I was as broken as a person could be. In the next moment, I realized that perhaps the reason the Hepatitis C was never caught was that God didn’t want me to know at any other time in my life. Would I have been as strong? Probably not. Yet, at that moment, I wasn’t sure that I could be strong any longer. I was angry, but deep inside I knew the truth. No where in the Bible does it state that God causes everything to work out to have a happy ending on earth. We are the ones that cause the mistakes. God gave us an instruction book to try to prevent those mistakes in the first place.

It seemed like an eternity before the test results were complete. I received a phone call before I drove down to the office. The nurse told me that they had accidentally sent my blood work to the lab unfrozen, causing it to be rejected. When asked if I would come back in to give another three vials, I said, “No. I’m finding another doctor.” Slamming the phone down, I told Steve, “I cannot believe they messed up like that! I cannot believe I have to wait yet another umpteen weeks!”

A month later, the second doctor confirmed that the first set of work showed that I was positive for Hepatitis C. He refused to do a second set of blood work. Instead, he referred me to a gastrology specialist.

By the time Thanksgiving had come, I had endured almost six weeks of uncertainty as the gastrologist could not get me in for an appointment until the second week of December. All my relatives were so happy to see each other. All I wanted to be was a bucket of tears. I had no inclination to be happy or shake anyone’s hand. I saw no point in pretending.

When the day finally arrived for my second phase of testing at the gastrologist’s office, the nurse put the fear of God in me. “If your second set confirms that you are active, realize what this means. You could need a liver biopsy and end up having to take shots three times per week.” She then handed me a brochure that told me all about injections that, in my opinion, would make me sicker. As I was escorted down the hall to give my blood, the lab nurse looked at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

I told her I was fine, but the truth was I was far from fine. I had gone almost two months wondering if I was infected with Hepatitis C, and I had been concerned for my future and for my husband and children. I had been treated like an outcast. I didn’t even know if my ministry would flourish, and the nurse practitioner had just put the fear of God in me. How could I possibly be fine, lady?

I had to wait another two weeks, and I didn’t even feel like celebrating Christmas. I had started to wonder if it would be better not to know the results at all.

On December 27th, I finally got my chance to learn my results, over two months after I was first diagnosed. As I waited in a private room to learn the truth, I prayed, “God, you’ve brought me this far. Whatever happens, I promise You, Lord, that I will continue this ministry. I promise You, I will fight for Your men and women who You want to come home. I will educate the world about the dangers of the sex industry. Whatever Your will, I’m going to fight this fight. Everything I do with my ministry is for You.”

The nurse came in and briefly introduced herself. “Hi, I have the results. It shows HIV–negative, Hepatitis B-negative and Hepatitis A–negative.”

“That’s good, but what about the Hepatitis C?” I said with concern.

She fumbled through my records. “Hmm. It’s not here. I’m not sure why. They should have been back by now. I’ll have to call the lab.”

I became furious. I prayed again, “God? If she has lost the results then I’ve had it! No more, God! I don’t care to find out the results. I’m through. Then it must be Your will that I don’t know.”

Twenty minutes felt like an hour. Upon her return, she walked in with a smile and said, “Congratulations! Your body fought the virus off. It appears you only had the antibodies. Less than twenty percent are that lucky. You are very, very lucky!”

Here I am, in December of 2007. I have had a second blood test to confirm that I am okay, and that I do not have the virus. Many people have sent discouraging emails to me saying, “You could still have it.” Let me tell you a little something about myself; that still won’t stop me from the mission God has laid out before me! It will only make me more motivated.

I don’t feel that I was lucky. I was blessed. The truth about using an escort is horrifying. Before I began my journey in the escort industry, I was told several times by my “madam” and “stepfather” that as long as I used a condom, I would be safe. I was told that an escort was considered high class and that only those working the streets got diseases. Because I was sleeping with more upscale, professional men, I was supposed to be safe. That was the biggest deception of all time. During my journey, I had used condoms, and I still caught Chlamydia and Crabs and was exposed to Hepatitis C. Some of my friends who have been sexually promiscuous caught genital warts and Herpes. THE TRUTH: is that it doesn’t matter if the person is rich or poor or what walk of life they came from. We are all susceptible to getting an STD, no matter what protection we use, as long as we do not obey God’s law. There is no such thing as “safe sex.” The truth is that condoms do not offer protection for diseases that are transmitted by skin to skin contact such as human papilloma virus and herpes simplex virus. Condoms are “safer” sex, but they are NOT safe sex!! No degree of condom education will curb the transmission of these organisms.

Listen to me, because this information can SAVE your life. I never thought in a million years that anything would EVER turn up positive, especially after I was tested many, many times after leaving the escort industry.

God already tells us us that “none of us know when we might fall victim to a sudden disaster and find ourselves like fish in a net or birds in a trap”. (Ecclesiastes 9:12)

I know other people who have fallen into the trap just like me. I get the emails. Trust me. If it can happen to us, it can happen to you to.

Are we really in control of our destinies? Will there ever be a day when we, as a society, will come to take God’s word more seriously? Or will we continue to leave the instruction book on the shelf to collect dust? When do we draw the line?

You read in the beginning of my story about how my stepfather made me a prostitute. I don’t know how your earthly father or stepfather was, but today, many of us struggle with a Heavenly Father because our earthly fathers did a bad job. But if I can experience physical abuse from my father, and sexual abuse from my stepfather, and if I can relate to God as my Heavenly Father, and if I can change – then so can you!

Now that you’ve read my story, please don’t delay in saying this prayer and contact me so we can keep in touch!

Heavenly Father,

I am so sorry I messed things up. Forgive me and help me out of this pit. I acknowledge my sin to you. I don’t want to cover it up. I’m tired of everything. Come into my heart and turn this darkness into light. I believe your son died on the cross. Clean up my mess and put to death anything that belongs to my own earthly desires and give me a whole new outlook. Help me along this journey. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for loving me just as I am. Amen.

The first time I did this was back in 1990 in a jail cell after never having known real affection from an earthly father. And when I got down on my hands and knees in that jail cell that night, it transformed my life. I’ve had a lot of regrets in my life, but accepting Jesus has been the one open adoption I have never regretted.

(c) Susan Stafford. www.susanstafford.com

39 Responses to “My STD Story from a Former Escort”

  1. Drew Says:

    God has moved so much in your life! Your testimony gives hope to those in the situations like you used to be in! Glory to God, Susan! Your life is so blessed!
    I hope others who read this will take the time to visit your site as I have!
    Glory to God! A powerful testimony!

  2. Chrystal Says:

    There was a time during your testimony I had to rush to the bathroom to cry. I saw myself in some of your experiences, for example when you husband used your toothbrush and your constant worry about blood on the towel. I know the feeling. I too contracted a virus from prostitution and promiscuity. I found out when my son was 8 months old. I gave my life to God hoping for a miracle. In 2005 a pastor prayed for me and when I took a test the following day it came back negative but later that day it started changing back to positive again. My husband tested negative, so that means my healthy son who is 6 years old is negative too. I am believing God’s Word and trusting that I will live and not die, that not even a trace of the virus will remain in my body! I want another baby and I will have a healthy baby, her name is going to be Talitha, because Jesus said to the 12 year old girl who died “Talitha Cumi” which means “Little girl arise”.

  3. Jennifier Says:

    That was an amazing testimony. Yes, GOD IS GOOD! I feel that others will read this and realize that we have a God of love. He can heal us of anything that we can get or have already gotten. I love that you have a ministry and that you chose to stay with it even if your test results came back positive. That was amazing to read. I love hearing testimonies of things that the Lord has healed people from. All you have to do is believe that the Lord will heal you and you can be healed. That was such a blessing to hear. I am glad that you moved away from your past and towards God’s will for your life. God bless you!

    Jennifier

  4. burger Says:

    An Awesome story of a lady who met Jesus, Praise His Name ! For any other readers, a friend sent me a similar story, yet at the same time different. Heres the link so you can read the story.

    http://www.4hispeople.com/divineinterventionspg2.html

    Maybe this story will encourage some-one whos struggling in a similar situation, yet wanting to accept Jesus Love,forgiveness and Saving Grace. Step out in faith and accept Jesus gift for you.

    May God bless you all

  5. jamall Says:

    God bless you sister. I was touched by your prayers. I lived a life of promiscuity and I’m very glad that God has healed me even thou sometimes I desire to go back into sin. But I pray that God delivers my mind and allows me to wait for my wife in Jesus name. God bless you.

  6. brett terrassin Says:

    Thank You Susan, You have given me such hope. I was mollested as a child and have struggled all my life to avoid the self destruct button. I am 33 years old today and have recently realised that the woman i truly love and desire to marry may have contracted an obscure std that is yet to be diagnosed. She feels a mild to moderately intense discomfort inside her vagina upon contact. She has tested clear for all the major problems but is now going to the specialist to learn more. I am deeply burdened as she probably caught this disease from my own filthy actions of betrayal during a time we were having trouble and once again i self desrtructed. I have repented and am travelling with the Lord better than i ever have, but i am horribly ashamed that a woman who should suffer for something i did and yet i show no signs or symptoms of the disease if there is one. It sucks that she does not even have a diagnosis yet for her condition, It is still possible that it is something spiritual but never the less i desire to help her through the deep waters of Gods healing. This is especially hard for her as she has every reason to struggle with including me in her life at all let alone talk to her about healing as though i just want to avoid any consequences myself. Please pray for her, her name is Paula and she needs to forgive her father, and discover what it is that blocks her from deepening her relationship with the Holy Spirit. She lives in Brisbane Australia and could do with finding a spirit filled beleiver who has walked through a similar valley. She has never really had a deep friend like this and thus craves to have one. Thank you for your prayers and any information on a spiritual condition which could be causing this condition the doctors a re struggling to diagnose, I have heard of certain spiritual sexually related bondages and physical oppressions which pertain to heat which would some what fit this situation but would not dare to talk to her about these as the situation is stressed as it is and the poor woman is deeply confused to say the least. God Bless You for any help you can provide, Brett

  7. angela Says:

    I’m really shocked that I found this testimony. I’m a 19 yr old girl with so many dreams and tomorrow it was going to be my first time working as an escort. I had just came back from the interview and they booked me for tomorrow in New York City.
    It took me weeks to make up my mind and think that this job is normal, but in my heart i knew God doesn’t want us to hurt our bodies or souls. I’ve been getting really close to God lately but I always get this things in my head.
    I’m really worried about my health, i’m very paranoid and scare i’m going to get some type of STD. I’ve never been tested for anything and i’m really scare to do it. Even if tomorrow was or is going to be the first time as an escort, I’ve done so many bad things in life and i’m really scare of my health. I know i’m not the only one, but this testimony is making really think and honestly now i’m not sure what to do. I hope God helps me, even if i need the money i don’t want to make him mad.

  8. Laura Says:

    angela, there are other options. Please reconsider even if you are convinced being an escort is the only option, after reading this testimony. I don’t know you but your post comes across as looking for a helping hand. photo4ramen at g-mail if you need someone to talk to.

  9. Naomi Says:

    Oh my God. I’m currently an escort because I think that’s my only option. I want to be a singer/songwriter and so I want to save up alot of money to go to major cities and perform. I know escorting gets you money fast, so I went back to the business. Noth only that, my mother and father really need money (they’re about to lose their houses, and I have little brothers and sisters n my dad’s side). But I hate every single minute of it. I have to drink/smoke marijuana to get through the session, and the work is also affecting me in my personal side. I feel guilty when I’m with my boyfriend, I’m so distant with my mother, and I cry every night. My mom is devistated because I’m so cold to her, and that breaks my heart. If there was another way to make money fast without working twice as hard (my health fails me alot and I get sick frequently)I’d do it. Anything but this…

  10. Stephen Carr Says:

    Very powerful story. Thank you for sharing, I know it is hard to share intimate details of your life and open yourself up for ridicule and shame.

    I thank you for your honesty. All I know is that I can not judge, we all have sinned and fall short of God’s Glory. I believe in abstinence and I pray that all of us will be humble and pure each day. Our only hope is forgiveness in Christ.

  11. susanstafford Says:

    Thanks to everyone who responded. My new URL is http://www.datewithanangel.com. I tried to edit but it would not let me.

  12. Brooke Says:

    Wow, this story made me cry. I am 20 and just got out of the escorting business. Sure it was a lot of money, but it was NOT worth it. I became addicted to coke, and drank every time I had to sleep with a trick. I’m getting tested tomorrow for HIV and I am scared to death. When I got into the business all I cared about was the money. Now I see that there is soo much more than that. I only hope it’s not too late.. And I really hope God gives me a second chance.

  13. honest male Says:

    dear, wonderfull human beings,please dont beat ur selves up so much,we are human,,how many men suffer with ,,or without these dilemas,,i used a escort at age 15 i thought it was normal becuse society allowed it,,,anyway i never contracted a sickness but i do regret,,like all normal men regret emotionless relations with a person just for money,,ladies please forgive your selves,,,i forgave myself. i can never forget but i did forgive, also im a better person ,,husband due to that traumatic event i once thought was real love….how sad,,yes men are visual and i am too but i learned how to be a man,,and control my thoughts,,emotions.love ur selves and forgive ur selves….any normal male human being is emotionally negativly affected by consorting with that industry,,the crazy thing is that sometimes emotions are not so quickly formed in men,,just as logic ,,and or cnsequences,,,due to burning desires for money or imagined love likein my case..i learnd from my mistake,,im better not bitter. im human,,so are u replying here..i learned that i got feelings,,and i live by faith,i still am angry 4 thinkin that sex meant love,,,stupid me….i thought if a person dressed in a revealin way that meant,,,,well anyway its my battle,between me and god,,i have no 1 to confess to but god,,,,the same with u women its between u and ur creator.

  14. honest male Says:

    …….if that tragedy had never happened to me i would never would be able to truthfully tell you now as a 40 year old man that i understand the heart of women whom regret that life . regardless of resons why,,people do live various ways,,,we humans must move on with life,,not ignoring pain but coping ,,treating the pains of past.dear fellow human beings dont over analyze what,,why u lived,,did certain things,,if we do then we will continue to suffer,,just come to a realization,,,change those facts about you as a human being,,your life depends on you as a human,,not some man,,,or some money,,or a degree..look its tough in life but we do live in america,,…………..this is so sad of course,,its pain…but you gotta feel,,know,,undertsand u are not alone,,i am proof of this,,from the opposite sex,,what most society would see as a blame for problems in life, look fellow humans,,the bad people in the world live by crime ,,evilness,,,,now us as good people should live bby happiness,,joy.,,,,,,,,ladies im no superman,,im just a human who works an average job,,,but im happy,,i got peace of mind,money cannot buy that so i pray that the light of a happy future shines in your hearts soon. becuse letting go of past pain makes room in our emotional heart for a pure clear,,happy loving future,,,which you are entitilled to!

  15. honest male Says:

    dear fellow human beings,,,,i truely feel u all are wonderfull people,,whom are in touch with their hearts,,and logic..dont think too much ,,,im not saying ingnore pain,,,but i notice women think,,too much only to hurt themselves……..please dont..u all know ur good people,,,who should give ur selves a second chance,,,,,,,we always give others a 2nd chances,,,why not your selves? peace of mind for all women here on this site should begin after you have read these words,,,,god bless!!!!!!!!!!

  16. honest male Says:

    im not a girlie man,,but i really cry after reading ur stories……u know the muslims say god is great……..now we as christians know our god is the 1 and onlyGOD,,,,,so its time to live ,,and act that our GOD IS THE GREATEST…..why dont we then? those foolish outside religous groups , insane about their ideas…..how much more should we as christians be living our lives ? our god is the greatest!,,lets stop feeling sorry 4 our selves america.

  17. cj1223 Says:

    from the age of 6, every man in my life taught me that i was only good for one thing. step dad, grandpa, brother, cousin,father’s of friends…etc. i have been beaten to near death (fractured skull) shot at, pistol whipped, punched in the face, and degraded (in some form)by EVERY man i have ever met. pregannt at 17, i rasied 2 kids by suporting them while working as a stripper. i worked hard to provide them a decent home and clothes. never on welfare. i finally succumbed to a desire for a normal life and allowed a man to move in and take care of us. i went back for my ged and started college. he, of course, continued frequenting the local prositutes. i found out 6 years later and kicked him out and back to stripping i went to support my kids and try to finish college. i met another man and married him. he cheated and we divorced 9 years later after i prayed and begged for God to save my marriage. He did not. i was baptized at 39 and went back to striping to pay for the enormous debt my drug addicted ex had left me in and to support my now pregnant daughter. every night i prayed for forgivness and mercy and begged God to tell me what to do. now, 4 years later i have been diagnosed with hpv and herpes. i have traced my herpes affliction back to the man that started me stripping when i ws 16 and beat me repeatedly when i didnt make enough money. he had cold sores and, well… you can do the math. i have no idea where the hpv came from, asssuming my ex who solicited prostitutes. i am alone after i broke off a reltaionship that meant everything to me because God told me to. He was married. i begged for forgiveness and for his health to be intact. i remained celibate for 2years prior to meeting this man and thought he was sent by God. yes, i am a sinner. but, how can God punish me for my sins when those sins were directly attibuted to someone else sinning against me? i am not blaming others for my mistakes. i did what i had to do to survive in a world that is cold and heartless. i did what i had to do to keep my children from having to live in public housing and keep them from a life of poverty. if there is a God, where was he when i screamed his name as a child begging to be saved from the sexual abuse and the physical assaults that bred me to be who i became? where is he now as i break my own heart in ending a relationship in HIS name? i told God yesterday that i will do what He asks but i will not worship Him and give Him praise when i BELIEVE that He could have, and should have, spoken to those who sinned against me as a child and adolescant as He spoke to me. i am supposed to trust Him even if i never know why….. i nearly ended my life yesterday.. still thinking about it actually. i just dont see a reason to continute to breathe in a loveless world that only sees women as vestibules of lust. even now, at 43 i see men look at me and I feel dirty. i can feel their sinful desires and read their dirty thoughts in their eyes when they watch me pass. i want to smash their faces in … i hate them all. i rarely wear cosmetics or soend time on my hair, i NEVER dress in seductive manner, usually sweat pants and a tshirt with my hair up, so no, i am not inviting this attention. so if you can answer my questions and tell me how i am supposed to serve a God that has foresaken me over and over again then maybe i will live long enough to try. do i believe? well, if i didnt i wouldnt be writing this woudl i? i guess i am so damned angry and hurt that even after a lifetime of pain, despair, and constant trials, to then accept Jesus as my savior, the pain and the trials still do not end. why can so many go on sinning and living and being blessed while so many suffer and are alone? if one single person tells me that i reaped what i sowed i will tell you to go straight to hell because everything i did i did for my children so they could have a better life.

  18. Leeza Says:

    I feel the same…. But remember that Jesus said “do not fear the world for I have over come it” and that “if the world hates you, remember they hated me first. ” we are meant to be living sacrifices in order to shed all things of this world n if we r to be like Jesus we must suffer. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. God let his own son die for us! He loved us that much. And Jesus wanted the future to be saved…. And god asks us to be like Jesus… We are meant to realize his will is perfect. Your story is going to save others. You will get closer to Jesus when u realize he too suffered much for his love of gods people. All those who follow God suffer. Its his way of breaking you to bring you closer to him and to mold u for his will for you. Just know as the bible says “his ways are above our ways… His. Understanding above our own” and so you may not get why you suffered but just know he knows what he is doing. Read the bible. He will comfort n speak to u thru it.

  19. kanisha Says:

    its really hurt me ur story of life. i also went away fm ts life. god bless u. fm india. lu u sister

  20. Miracle Says:

    Hmm. I believe God heals and will heal me also of a viral infection. I am a very clean Christian person with no rough past whatsoever. Brethren please pray for me and my family.

  21. Kassandra Says:

    Cj I have an answer for you because I’ve been through very similar things and I’m much happier now. The trick to stop sinning even if you think you have to. Make a sacrifice. If you have to give your kids for adoption, or live in public housing, do it. Sounds harsh and hard but when you lay everything down for HIM, there is healing, but He wants you to lay off the fight. Stop the cycle.

  22. Rita Says:

    GOD IS AWESOME!!! I thank God for your healing. I too have experienced the agony of waiting for STD Test results and the anxiety that goes with it. But GOD is still good. I just received received confirmation from my doctor that I no longer have HPV and my cervical polyp was beniged! PRAISE BE TO GOD. All I can say that God is so faithful and Good. However, we ALL must turn away from sin and surrender our lives to Jesus Chirst. The root of all sin is selfishness. Weather it’s sexual, lying, cheating, anger, whatever…. We want to do what we want, when we want it; instead of doing what God wants. He paid the price for all of our Sin and therfore we must carry our cross daily. I believe God uses these experiences of suffering and disease to teach us important lessons about his power, love, grace, mercy,fear, and pruning. He knows exactly what to allow and and remove for our continued growth. He prunes us like a wonderful gardners so we can become more fruitful. When we accept the Lord as our personal savior, we are no longer have to be controlled and mastered by sin. We now have the power to overcome. Therefore, the sin, suffering, trials, and trubulations of our life are opportunities for growth and to experience his LOVE. Remember, by his stripes we are healed . Again, I thank God for your testimony and may be continue to bless you.

  23. Jeff Says:

    I’m blessed to hear this testimony I praise God that he has healed you. I am also discouraged by reading this, I have the human papilloma virus(HPV)…and I’m a virgin. I’ve never done anything sexual with any one and I have it. When I found this out three weeks ago I was so hurt, mad, and discouraged. I believe that God will heal me but I’m mad because why me out of everyone..why the virgin, why did I get this, I have a g/f and We love each other, God has spoken to us and said we are to get married, I’m scared though, I don’t want this to pass on to her, And I don’t want the infection to get worse…I’m so scared Its hard to trust in God though I am….If any one reads this just please Pray for me. Thank you.

  24. Thomas Says:

    All disease that is on earth can infect you. No one is safe 100 percent, and not even abstinence can repel these diseases. No one also escapes death. We all make life knowing full well that it will not last but only continue for a brief period of time, may you be blessed for that time to not come for a while.

    It should be just called a disease plain and simple. This emotional backlash for giving it a title associated with sex is incorrect and needs to be fully justified before it is classified in such a manner. Some genuinely are STDs though, but a lot need a harder look. HPV/Herpes can even be given by a hand shake that you then touch yourself from by just pulling your johnson out for a tinkle.

    Anything I said also should not justify the act of sex or sex workers in general.

  25. almostamother Says:

    Thank you Thomas for your input. Susan Stafford, AlmostAMother.com

  26. Pete Says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. You have changed my mind and possibly saved my life. Thank you sincerely.

  27. DV Says:

    To cj1223, I hope you are able to read this since it has been so long ago that you posted here. I feel the agony in your voice and empathize with your suffering. I’m sure every believer has wondered why sinners seem to win and be the recipient of good fortune while a believer who comes from a hard life… continues to have a hard life. There are two answers I can provide for you, the first being the easiest. When we are sinners, we are subject to be blown back and forth by the cruelty of the world. If you are too young to defend yourself from it, you will fall victim to it. The devil doesn’t have to pay any attention to you because those influenced by him are taking care of making you miserable… which is his ultimate goal. When you turn your life over to Christ, then the devil himself begins to focus his attention to you. He then makes it his personal mission to get you to turn from God and decide that it’s futile, pointless and not worth it to worship our Lord and Savior. Remember he asked and was given permission to punish Job in unimaginable ways trying to show God that only when things are going good do we want to worship Him. That is not true love. Imagine if your children only loved you when you were buying them things or doing what they wanted. How would that make you feel? God wants us to love Him and have faith in Him even when we are being tested, tried and punished. Just like we sometimes discipline our children out of love for who we want them to be. Our of love to correct their negative behavior. But be careful because when we turn our life over to Christ, not only will the devil attack you harder… but you are also likely to be chastised by God when you do wrong. Because you have accepted a life as one of His followers. His love for you as The Father means that He must correct you when you are wrong. So we as new believers struggle with continuing to sin which not only pleases the devil, but displeases God. And when we sin sometimes we truly feel like it’s necessary or we can’t help it… but we are wrong. Nobody should ever say it’s easy, but through prayer and the grace and mercy of Christ it is possible. People often say God won’t put more on us than we can handle. But as people, we will sometimes remove ourselves from the path that Will of God has us on and put more on ourselves than we can handle. Likewise your relationship with God means that while a sinner and non believer may be able to sin without earthly consequences, we don’t belong to the world anymore. Remember Moses did not get to see the promise land because his anger made him hit the rock instead of speak to it as God commanded. He was disobedient out of anger. Yet he suffered the same fate as the rest of his followers who had created idols, worshiped other gods, regretted leaving Egypt and did all sorts of sins while Moses was in the mountain. And after all Moses had done, his one act caused him to suffer the same as those who hadn’t followed God as closely as he had, AND had sinned more than he had. I hope what I’ve said makes sense. The other reason for your harsh life is one most people don’t like to think about or deal with. Unfortunately the sins of our forefathers has consequences that affects many generations down the line. You could have been born under the affliction of curses you never did anything to cause. Your circumstances and harsh life could have absolutely nothing to do with what you’ve done, but yet the sins of generations before you that you now have to suffer for. Imagine the people born into slavery who for generations were born, raised and died in bondage!! Those people who only knew suffering and servitude their entire lives. Some of us will never get our victory on earth, and it doesn’t seem fair or logical to have to wait for your prize outside of this world. But it is that way, unfortunately, for some people. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to deal with and sometimes have felt like I have had to deal with and experience unjust suffering. But nothing nearly as torturous as what you or our slave ancestors had to deal with. The blood covenant of Christ can remove those curses from you. Our own sins and actions allow certain demons to take dominion within us. I pray that God ministers to your heart and gives you comfort in this life thru the good and the bad. I pray that you are able to find healing and peace within your heart for what you have endured. I pray the blood of Christ over you. Much love sister in Christ. And please whatever you do, please, please, please do not give up on God because He does not give up on us. I love you!

  28. Laura Says:

    I found myself in the position where I couldn’t afford bills,was going to be kicked out of my rented house I couldn’t find a job so I escorted once.

    Just once.I felt sick after and knew I wouldn’t do it again I used a condom 4 weeks later I have HPV I’m waiting on the other tests.I’m terrified and feel like my life is over.how will I ever have a relationship again? How will I forgive myself? I honestly don’t want to be on this earth anymore

  29. david anderson Says:

    Wow!!! I want to thank God for you !! I got into pornography that led to prostitution escorts. But God protected me and allowed me to fall on my face and beg him to deliver me. I was at the point where I would constantly thinking about sex and I hated it I wanted to die. I was ripped off by the last 3 escorts I hired and with no sex and I awoke to the reality of what was going on. God spoke to my heart and said I have stepped in and protected you. (in a nut shell) . I have recommitted my life and I am sooo ashamed because not only did I hurt my self you become part of the the problem in fueling the abuse of children by viewing the trash that gets a hold of your soul. One time I saw this little girl in a store and she looked like an angel and the Lord spoke to my heart and asked, would you hurt this girl? And I was horrified and felt like crying. Well you are if you view pornography because that is the result of it. I have a void in my heart and Im trying to fill it with a lie of temporary satisfaction. I cant fathom Gods heart dealing with us because He sees it all among other filth and heart ache. I can hear the father say well done well done my daughter. Please pray for my ongoing battle and nothing is impossible with God. God bless You!!

  30. Conny Says:

    Hey everyone, I realize this post is very old but it has inspired me to change my life.

    I am 19, struggling college student, no parents or family, supporting myself. I became an escort this past Sunday. And I had been so paranoid with all the risks from STDs and this being illegal that I decided I can no longer do this. Today is Thursday, and because of this story and the stories of the comments above me….I QUIT.

    Fine I don’t have a place to live, I don’t have a car, and I don’t have a parent to guide me. But I am too smart to keep doing this. I am finishing college and there are other ways around even though I don’t even have enough to feed myself some days.
    I love myself and feel blessed with the body God gave me because it’s a gift and I’m only 19, I don’t want to ruin my life this early.

    Thank you posting this.

  31. Emory Says:

    Hi Connnie, I am so moved by your comment. We’re amazed and humbled to see God working among people like you who post on Testimony Share. You sound like a very intelligent person and someone who God is working in to bless others. Post back anytime and know that we are praying for you.

  32. Lady Esther Says:

    I am so touched by your testimony, by Gods grace i had a healthy childhood, everything is alright by the Graoce of God and i keep you all in my prayers, I never had sex till now im 24, God is being my help he is keeping me from the dangers of the world, he gave me good education from engineering college and then masters in business but in my love life, i have no one but God as my only husband for now and forever, i know Jesus is keeping me from AIDS, unwanted pregnancy and other such horrible injustice to our body which is the temple of the Holysirit. I m thankful to GOD JESUS that im all free because im still a virgin and chose to remain pure so that i could offer my body as a temple to the Holyspirit and wait till my marriage according to His will.

    Thats why God tells us to flee from any kind of sexual immorality, obey him, submit yourselves to him and he will make your every desire come to pass and very fruitful, free from any worries of this carnal world.

    Please do not choose sex or physical intimacy as a career to gain money, God wants to make you like QUEENS, like ESTHER, RACHEL, REBECCA, RUTH, LEAH, SARAH, HANNAH and all such women of bible
    They all walked in obedience to the Lord and so we see their final destiny in Christ, all honored by God…so my precious sisters….your are the future, the bride of God, please remain holy for HIM, he will honor you and provide you for all your needs but please do not disobey him by showing any sexual immorality in you, even for the sake of money, if you submit yourselves to him, even now because its not late at all, then see…HE will make your life perfect and honorable. please please dont enter into sex industry, never. Remain in him and he will remain in you.

    Jesus loves you and calls you to come back everyday, please listen to him, tomorrow might be soo late.

  33. Conny Says:

    Hi Emory,

    Thank you so much for responding. It means a lot to me that people care.

    After I quit the escort agency I decided to get myself check for STDs because I have had tenderness around my private area since I was never sexually active before the job.

    I went to Planned Parenthood and they said that I most likely have Herpes due to a liaison they found. Although I still have up to two weeks from now to confirm if I have herpes. I am extremely stressed and angry at myself. I pray to God to please do a miracle on me and I beg for your prayers please.

    I repent for what I have done and I hope this is a misdiagnosis. I pray so hard and cry often with my current situation.

    I am so thankful for this post. Please keep me in your prayers.

  34. Emory Says:

    I will definitely pray for you, Conny and I urge others on Testimony Share to do the same.

  35. Savannah Says:

    i never, ever have posted on a forum but i feel like i need to reach out to you all. I just took the time to read every single one of these posts and they have completely moved me. I am a 19 year old female, about to join the adult film industry. after getting my first STD test before filming i was diagnosed with chlamydia today. After taking my medication I drew blood for the Hepititis/HIV test & i have been crying ever since, im scared to death these results are going to come back positive. I have made too many bad decisions under the influence of drugs and alcohol that have put me at risk. I have never had a church or family influence of god in my life and I have never fully understood the concept of “God is our father” until i read this forum. I have always felt that I was protected by a higher spirit, but i never grasped the meaning of the bible and Jesus until now. I hope that the higher spirit i feel with me is God, & that he has helped to protect me from serious STDs like HIV.

    “Imagine if your children only loved you when you were buying them things or doing what they wanted. How would that make you feel? God wants us to love Him and have faith in Him even when we are being tested, tried and punished. Just like we sometimes discipline our children out of love for who we want them to be. Our of love to correct their negative behavior.”

    This really hit home for me. My family has never raised me to pray, I have prayed in chaos but tonight I am truly going to get on my knees and pray before I sleep, for me to learn to open up to god and thank you guys for opening my perspective. and I pray that you all are happy and healthy, thank you!

  36. Jake Halsted Says:

    So question…. all this bible stuff is nice. What were you thinking to begin with? Why did you do that work?

  37. Mozerello Says:

    Very hope inspiring to hear your story. You are right in that you have been blessed and not lucky. Your mission is to dedicated your life to creating and propagating more resources throughout the world so women have a resource and support system to turn to when they want to quit – or prevention talks in school. I would be interested in helping you in this cause – please email me to exchange contact information so we can connect.

    I am actually a man but I have seen a big surgence of women using the Internet and escort websites to get into the trade independently. There are many stories on the Internet of women saying that, although there are risks, they don’t think they would give it up. I know many girls that have gone into this and I don’t think they would even consider giving up until its too late. But for those that would, there are no resources – like what you would find for alcoholism & drug addiction. Thanks again for sharing your story.

  38. pietergabriel Says:

    I’ve read a lot of the testimonies in this section and it is so heartbreaking to see/hear how Satan misled people and dragged them down to works of darkness! I won’t judge at all, as I’m a sinner and no-one can throw stones – as the Word says, no one(except God) is without sin! The greatest of all, is that Jesus died for all, and said, who-ever believe in Him, shall never-never die.

    God’s words, will stand forever, and He will never fail His Word! On the 31st of January 2011 CJ1223, asked questions on: “How can God let bad things happen to His children?! As an “innocent” child She was molested by several people and have this anger (understandably so) about how God could allowed that. But…is that right to be angry and question God?

    So many people struggle with “how” could God (who is the God of Love and who is always in control) allow things like that? I pray for guidance by the Holy Spirit while I try to give more light on the question/answer. May God be glorified, for He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords! From His Word we get the Truth!!! Read carefully and slowly – let it sink into you! God’s love for HIS children is not only for the lifespan of a human but forever!!!

    The Word says that God send His only beloved Son (who is our Lord and Savior God Jesus Christ), to come and walk the earth as a human, be a human (while He is God!!!). Jesus Christ (Son of GOD was humiliated by men, being insulted, spit on, and ended up on a cross (the worst place for men to die in pain,agony,thirst etc) But… even worse – he took the punishment (without deserving it at all) for EVERY person on earth, and… took upon Him ALL the sin of the WHOLE world!!! That is the ultimate sacrifice (while He is the Son of God!!! ) and then He died on the cross, took away all power from the death and was raised from the dead after 3 days!!! By His Godly blood, all whosoever believe in Him, were cleansed from all their sins – not just for now, but forever! That means that we, the children of God ,can, when our earthly life is done, walk into the Kingdom of God by the Grace of God Jesus Christ, and be with God forever and ever!

    From this point, I ask the next questions! Is there any way in which we can “deserve” eternity – no, but we can choose to follow Jesus Christ and be saved!!! Is there any way that we can understand God’s ways and have His wisdom? Job of the Bible tried to argue with God and he was ashamed of himself. We may reason “we are just humans”… and the fact is, that is exactly what we are!!! Therefore we must submit 100% to God and accept His every move – He is Sovereign God! Why did CJ1223 have to suffer that much? Remember your “suffering” (even if it’s for 80 + years on earth) isn’t even a flash of a flash of eternity! You carry just your burden not the burden of the whole world! Every human actually deserve death because of their sin, because God hates sin! In comparison, Jesus Christ (who gave His Life for His Children, with unconditional love) didn’t deserve the cross…but He gave His All! Jesus deserved His place at the right hand of God as Son of God and therefore part of the Trinity, but… He let Himself (Jesus as the Holy Son of God) be nailed to the cross by humans! He could easily walk away, but His obedience to His Father God Almighty, and His burning love for His Children, didn’t make Him ask questions! He didn’t ask why He as God must suffer for sinful humans(as He was innocent). He only asked God if it’s within His will, let the cup go pass Him, because He knew exactly what suffering was laying ahead – but He gave Himself as the Ultimate Sacrifice, the purest of all, as Son of God. He did His Father’s will and and His passion for His children was more than the highest prize! If we have to suffer, let’s do it with thanksgiving to the Lord our Father in Heaven.Don’t worry if others who live sinful life’s seem to have no problems and are “blessed”with earthly riches as we sometimes see it! The real blessed are those who take up their cross and despite of what happen, follow Jesus as their Savior! The live’s of the disciples of Jesus, are some of the best examples on what it mean to follow Jesus.Look how they lived, what happened to them and then we can ask “why?” The reasons are clear – all to the glory of God! We are on earth as disciples of Jesus.

    Some have the privilege on earth to live like kings, others like very poor people, but… if you work for Jesus, He uses you as He knows the best! The poorest of all,who serves Jesus, can be the best example to the richest who don’t know Him and the other way around! Our sacrifices are nothing to what Jesus did ! All the riches of the earth can’t buy a place in heaven. But due to The ONE (Jesus Christ), all who believe in Him, may have a place in Heaven! Give your heart and life to Jesus Christ, Trust Him, believe in Him – He will show you the way! After all – He is the Truth, the Light and the Way!

    Don’t ask God “Why?” you must serve Him, but ask Him “HOW” can you serve Him! How can you carry His Light into this World!” He made it POSSIBLE for the world to be saved… by living His love, we as His children, can make it VISIBLE for the world to see – all by His grace!!!

    Almighty Father God, may your will be done! May we look past ourselves, even in the valley of death, no matter what, and give us the strength to live your love, take up our cross, everyday, and follow Jesus Christ our Savior! May we serve You and live a life of thanksgiving to you our Heavenly Father! Forgive us if we struggle with these questions, and open our eyes so that we can see that you are faithful and that you can’t and won’t make mistakes, your ways are not our ways and your ways are far and above our understanding! Jesus,you were asked: “Why is it that a certain man was blind, was it because of his sins or his father’s sins? And you said: “None of that, it’s so, as to exalt/glorify my Father in Heaven! Therefore, we must trust you and believe in what your Word says:” All that happen, work out for the better for those who serve the Lord! May we serve you without questioning your Wisdom, even in the worst of storms, because that is part of our faith in you! Thank you Lord for loving us so much, help us to serve you with all our hearts, in the Name of Jesus Christ your Holy Son, we ask this! Amen!

  39. Frand Ortiz Says:

    I came across this testimony and thanks for sharing your story.

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