Once in Bondage now Free

When I was about five or six my parents separated from both physical and mental abuse. After a couple of years my mom Cyndy met my Stepdad, Winston who, at first was like a father to me. I spent every other weekend with my biological dad, Dennis but we never spent much time together. He was always at work or out on dates on the weekends.

Somewhere in between the ages of 7 and 9 I was molested by two different family members. I spent lots of time with my Grandma Louis and my Aunt Kathy whenever I got the chance. They are both amazing women of God to which I always looked up to.

After years of my Mom being married, her and her husband had my brother, Travis and my sister, Chelsea. The Father figure that my stepdad had portrayed changed shortly after Travis and Chelsea got older. He started motivating them to treat me as the weird or different child. It was because I felt like the black sheep in my own home that my rebellious stage in life began.

I found myself pregnant at fifteen and my parents being okay with it. After one year, I met a guy, Damian who introduced me to marijuana, alcohol, ecstasy and other pills. After three years, I found myself being physically and mental abused by him. At that time my Mom started trying end our relationship, which only made me want cling to him more. Her solution to the problem was to kick me out, so she did.

I moved in with Damian and his family, thinking it was going to be perfect or at least way better than before but, it wasn’t. It only got worse. He would hit me in front of his family as if it were something casual. He would even get intoxicated, and hit is own Mom. Time and time again I would help him out of jail thinking he would change.

At one point of nonstop breaking up and getting back together. I went back to church and for months I was strong in Christ. Then I start to fall and eventually went straight back to being in bondage with Damian. It felt like I could never get away.

Eventually, Damian and I broke up I meet this guy, Corey. We had a one night stand I got pregnant, shortly after, I had my second abortion. Only this time they gave me no medications. I made a promise to God I would never have another abortion. Right after that, I find out my Dad was in the hospital and was diagnosed as a quadriplegic. That was extremely hard for me to handle and took a toll on me emotionally. I took eating as a hobby to ease the pain and confusion.

I decided to drop school with only two months left until graduation. I joined the Job Corps in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I finished six months later. Right after, I got back with Damian after of years of pressure from friends, and his family members.

We moved out and got our own place. I got pregnant for the third time and this time I had a tubal pregnancy. That brought our relationship close at one point, but Damian was still drinking, smoking, doing marijuana, taking pills and as a result, still abusing me.

I finally gave up on him after three months of living together on top of seven years of an on/off horrible relationship. I moved back home to no job, no car, and no friends, for months. I decided to move in with my Grandma Louis and Grandpa Steven. It was a new beginning for me. I was working, making new friends, and saving for a car.

My dad called me asked me to come live with him to help him with his health and his business, so I did. After just three days my Dad took me to buy a brand new car, it was and is the all the things I like just all put together in one. After a month I re-dedicated my life to God. It was in December 2007.

A month later, I hear Damian was diagnosed with bipolar disorder  and Schizophrenia. Finding this out really hurt me and it made me extremely vulnerable to want to run back and help, but I didn’t. I stayed strong and remained where God had me.

After a year of being committed to God, He has amazingly transformed me, freed me completely, and made me realize I can’t do anything without a Savior. He has taught me how to love unconditionally and is giving me authority to take back everything that the enemy has stolen from me. Plus, I’ve gained some truly amazing women of God who has been there for me, though thick and thin. I am finding myself falling more and more in love with him each and every day.