Testimony Share

Everything was black. The banging started again. I tried to get up again but felt paralysed and couldn’t move a muscle. The banging again… this time I hear a door open. I still can’t see but men’s voices are deciding my fate… “What are we going to do with her” “Just get her out of here…”

…I open my eyes. I don’t know where I am. My body is shaking and I’m being sick. I can’t move. I hear men’s voices in another room. I open my mouth to shout for help but nothing comes out. I’m sick again and I can’t move my head. The sick covers my face. It’s black again.

The next morning I wake up to the smell of sick and no recollection of the night before. I only remember drinking three vodkas. I know one of them must have been spiked with drugs. I’m scared, ashamed and feeling lonely as I realise I’m not in control of my life. ‘Fate’ is in control. I gather up the sick covered bedding and sneak out the staff quarters of the hostel. I quickly bundle the bedding into a washer and run to make a phone call…

“Its me. Can you come and get me. I want my life to change.”

3 months earlier, I could hardly contain my excitement. Finally, the day had arrived. I was heading off to Australia for the year of a lifetime. A bubbling feeling inside told me my life was about to be changed. If only I knew how much! I’d been looking for change for a long time. I tried everything. New jobs, new hairstyles, new friends, new boyfriends, new clubs and pubs, new exotic drinks. My life followed spur of the moment excitement. It was always momentary excitement though. Every few months I would sink into a deep low for a few days as the familiar feeling of emptiness washed over me. My close friends couldn’t even consol me. Something was missing from my life. In those moments and only in those moments, I would ask the same question “If there is a God, where the hell are you?” My question was answered in Australia.

The first six weeks of my journey was spent mainly in Surfers Paradise eating out, clubbing by night, pubbing by day, smoking 3 times my usual, drinking off the scale and shopping in between times.

When I wasn’t spending money, I was visiting family in Brisbane. My friend and I stayed with them for a week when we first arrived. I still remember catching my friends eye across the dinner table and having an inward snigger as we were asked to hold hands while my Uncle said ‘Grace’. I couldn’t believe my mad fun-lovin Aunty had went all Holy Joe! She talked about Jesus A LOT! I listened because I love her but there were moments when my head was bursting and I had to say please can we stop talking about Jesus. It was all a bit unreal and random to me. If Jesus was God then why would He leave us here and if He was still alive, where the heck was He? Hiding?? It was time to head to Surfers Paradise.

Two thousand pounds and a few weeks later, I was tomato packing in some random place, desperately trying to raise some cash to go travelling. My efforts lasted less than a day as I picked out rotten tomatoes, forcing myself not to throw them at the bitch from hell supervising us. This was no holiday! I stormed out half way through the day. My friend and I parted ways as he headed back to Surfers and I re-joined my family in Brisbane.

My family were wonderful to me and I was well looked after as I tried to find some work. I couldn’t get a job and had no money to go anywhere. I listened day after day to Jesus talk. I decided to take an interest. It was a small price to pay for their love and security. I started asking questions and even agreed to go to church with them. I was in for a surprise!

We arrived at this huge campus filled with different shaped buildings and lots of greenery. I was given the grand tour… the swimming pool, the nursery, the primary school, the high school, the college, the library, the youth facility. My jaw dropped as we approached the main church building. I suddenly felt very small and intimidated as we stepped into the 2000 seater auditorium that was church. I hid behind my Aunt until we found a seat. A full-on band got up on stage; the drums kicked in and the music rocked the place. It was like a concert! People were jumping and singing at the top of their voices. My memory of church was a bunch of old folks competing to see who could sing their hymns in the highest pitch. What was this place??

When the music stopped a young guy was invited to come and share his story. He was a surfer type, handsome and rugged, so he got my full attention! He talked about how Jesus had changed his life and how he now had a relationship with God through Jesus. In my head it actually made sense; God’s holy, we’re not so we can’t join Him in heaven. Jesus is perfect, we’re not so Jesus died to take the punishment for all our wrongs. He paid the price and we get a clean slate. I understood it in my head but try telling my heart this stuff was real. As a kid my Bible was a cool storybook that sat on the same shelf as my Fairy Stories.

As we left church, my Aunt asked what I thought. All I could say was ‘interesting!’. Really, I was desperate to get away from that place before someone asked me about Jesus. I fled the next week to Surfers Paradise.

I clearly remember sitting in the hostel bar at 10am in my fluffy duck pyjamas ordering a Vodka and Raspberry. As I sat there, I was suddenly aware of my loneliness. The staff were lovely and I met other backpackers who were friendly too, but I couldn’t shake the inner loneliness.

The next day I was making that phone call…

“Its me. Can you come and get me. I want my life to change.”

My family came to the rescue within a couple of hours – no questions asked. They didn’t even have to ask me to go to church. I went willingly, searching for answers. I needed to know if this Jesus thing was for real.

As I sat in church listening to the pastor speak, I literally felt the head knowledge about Jesus fill my heart. I fought it and argued with myself that it was all a lot of nonsense but through my head flashed images of people who had hurt me, people I had hurt, shameful things I had done and then I saw Jesus in my mind on that cross, bruised and bloody, beaten beyond recognition, battered and lifeless. I felt a warmth surround my heart as I realised Jesus did that just as much for me as anyone else in that church. It felt like someone’s hands were squeezing my heart and the tears began to flow and flow and flow. I felt pain, hurt and loneliness leave my heart as it was replaced with a love that is indescribable and unlike any love I have ever experienced. On that day, 2nd September 2000, my question was answered… God is right here, I just had to let Him into my heart and my life.

My life has been utterly transformed. Jesus is as real as you and me. He can be found when you look. I promise you won’t have to look far. He’s not just in Oz!

Here’s a great place to come and look for him… www.destiny-church.com

When I was young, I remember having so much love and faith in God. I remember being scared at night, and I would whisper a Hindu god’s name over and over again (as I was raised knowing only Hindu gods) until I’d fall asleep- knowing that my God would protect me. You see, to me, there was only 1 God… 1 God with many different names and faces/images. Whether it was Krishna, Buddha, Mohammed or Jesus, these to me were the same god.

While young, I remember seeing people on television wearing a cross. They were ‘white’ people- so I thought that only they wore a cross and worshipped Jesus. I remember wishing that I too were white so that I too could worship and follow Jesus and also wear a cross.

Nonetheless, I still loved my God, or should I say OUR God… the same God that everyone served. He just had different names. To me, there were many different ways to get to God and to worship Him. Religion didn’t really matter (as long as you loved God and did good things, you were on track.) But there was just something about Jesus…

Hindus don’t really know that you can have a personal, real relationship with God. They don’t know that you can talk to God and have Him talk back to you, but I, as a Hindu, wanted God to speak to me ATLEAST ONCE.

I was about 5/6 years old, and looked up into the sky and asked God to speak to me (I thought that I would hear God’s voice audibly, and of course, didn’t). I remember being disappointed but telling God that I still loved Him anyway. Little did I know that He would slowly open my eyes and ears and draw me to Himself in His own way- looking back at this today, I have learnt not to expect God to do things in a particular way, but to be patient even if it takes years, as His ways are so much more different to mine.

I had been attending Indian schools until the second term of standard 3 (grade 5). I’ll never forget when my mum told me that I would be going to a ‘white’ school. I was overjoyed. (I guess it was because when I was young, I wondered what it would be like to be ‘white’ and be a Christian, and now I was going to be surrounded by ‘Christians’).

In standard 4 I befriended a girl who soon became my best friend and she was an awesome Christian with a great love for Jesus. A coincidence? I don’t think so. Anyway, we went on a tour to the Drakensburg. Now, even though I was only 11 years old, I had a bad vocabulary. I couldn’t say a sentence without swearing. I remember swearing and each time I swore, my best friend would cringe at the words- so I tried my best to stop…unsuccessfully.

That same night, my friend told me that I could become a Christian if I believed that Jesus was the Son of God and that He died and rose again 3 days later and was with God in heaven. I told her that I knew that. She asked me if I wanted to be born again. Not really knowing what that meant, I said YES anyway.

I think I was born again…even though the decision was made with my mind in excitement, more than with my heart. I had no idea what it meant to be born again. I even asked her if I would have the same father, mother, brother and sister, thinking that I would LITERALLY be born again! 

Miraculously, I could not swear at such an ease anymore. Every time I’d swear, I would have an uneasy feeling and I’d be troubled by it. This, I only later found out, was the conviction of the Spirit.
 This raised a question.

WHY WAS I NOT CONVICTED WHEN I SWORE WHEN I WAS A HINDU?
My answer is that ONLY Jesus is holy. Hindu ‘gods’ are obviously not holy if those ‘gods’ don’t even convict you when you’ve sworn after praying to them!

Well, I would go to Sunday school at Rhema South with my friend- my mum thought that I was going though a phase and also thought that it was a good thing that I was learning about other religions. She had no idea that I had actually converted. But even I didn’t know what was really happening.

I still didn’t truly believe that ONLY Jesus was the way to God. I didn’t believe that Hinduism was wrong, because when I prayed to Hindu ‘gods’, I did feel a sense of comfort- a ‘holy’ presence- it MUST have been God also…I thought. Because I had felt the ‘godly’ comfort, I believed that God could also be found in the Hindu religion- I mean, in my mind I was praying to God (the only creator); who else could the presence have been from?
BUT EVIL SPIRITS CAN BE DECIEVING, AND EVEN THEY CAN GIVE YOU COMFORT IN ORDER TO DECIEVE YOU.

I have found that unless you feel the Holy Spirit’s presence, you WILL NOT know that the presence you had felt before, was actually more evil than Godly.

So, while being two-sided/ double minded, (but still loving and having a soft spot for Jesus more than the other gods), I began high school at Hyde Park High. During my first three years I slowly began to give up hope in Jesus… not only Jesus but in God in general. In grade 11, I remember being really depressed and once again looking at the sky and asking God if He was there and if He had forgotten about me.

A few days later, one morning I arrived at school around 06:45. One of the teachers had arrived early, so a friend and I decided to go into her classroom and just hang out.

She began to tell me her testimonies about how God had done things for her, and how Jesus was so real in her life. As she spoke, her words lifted my heart… Just hearing her talk about the realness of Jesus- the same Jesus that I wanted as a child- touched my heart. In a second, I missed Jesus and I was filled with so much love for Him. He was once again becoming real to me, and it felt good to know that my love and feelings for Him were still very much real.

I’m amazed at how my heart changed, by just hearing her testimonies.
(Rev 12:11)

Well, I made an appointment to meet with her the next morning. She explained what was meant by being born again and read scriptures from the bible. The time came when she asked me if I wanted Jesus in my life and I knew that I did. As she prayed and as I accepted Jesus, I felt my whole body start to burn up and I knew that I had made the right decision.

For the first time I had felt the presence of the One, True God, and with that presence, came a supernatural joy. My eyes and ears were suddenly opened. Things seemed different to me. I’d walk outside and be filled with so much love for people, appreciation for the trees and birds chirping, the sun shining… I was truly made alive that day.

As a kid, I felt that God wanted me to do something- that he had a plan for me. I told my brother who (to this day) thinks I’m crazy.
I now knew why I felt that God had a plan for my life. You see, I could have been a normal Hindu like everyone else in my family who believe in Hinduism just because they were born into the religion- never really questioning it. BUT, God had a different plan…so did satan… but God won the battle.

I have learnt that a person who truly loves God, WILL find Him. Even if they are in a wrong religion, God will go out of His way for those who truly seek Him. He did for me, and the bible says that He has no favourites, so He’ll do it for anyone who wants Him. (Romans 2:11)

I, of course told my parents about it, but they think that I’m going through a phase and that I won’t feel this way forever- Yeah right… Once you experience the Holy Spirit, there’s no escaping Him; you’ll always have a yearning to have a relationship with Him, the Father and the Son.

UPDATE (22/01/2010)

Well, it’s been about 9 and a half years that I’ve been saved and can only speak of how good God has been to me. I’ve been baptized in water as well as by the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. God walked with me… no, He carried me through fears and failures that were so great, that I did not know that I could ever get past them.

You see, I am the only person in my cast (that I know of, in a close-knit ‘higher-cast’ Gujarati community) that has rejected Hinduism and converted to Christianity. There are plenty of conversions within the Hindu ‘lower-cast’, but not in the ‘higher-cast’. What I did, was totally unheard of and had brought a lot of panic and hurt in my family. There were times when I remember saying to God in tremendous fear, that although I loved Him and that even though I always wanted to be obedient toward His plan for my life, that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to go through with it when the day was to come when He was to tell me that it was time to get married. This was due to my fear toward my relatives (aunts and uncles) finding out.

Through His grace and mercy, I’ve stood for Him in the midst of heartbreak and pain that I never knew I’d ever feel… but looking back, it’s as if it’s the least that I could do for Him… to stand for Him the way He has always stood for me. In the midst of the heartache and loneliness, His love and peace was always there. He was always with me, and He really cared. He was always there to comfort me especially in my dreams.

I remember going through a time of hurt and sadness, when I had one of my first dreams of God. In my dream, I was in a church worshipping Him, when all of a sudden, the Holy Spirit came from behind me and picked me up and threw me in the air and caught me repeatedly, just as a Father would do to his child. The joy that I had felt in my heart was so strong when He did that, that it felt as if my heart was about to explode from the joy. I had to ask Him to stop because I couldn’t contain the joy. I then woke up immediately with His presence still lingering in my room, with my spirit lifted up again and having supernatural joy within my circumstances.

After getting saved in August 2000 I was unable to go to church until August 2003. Within these 3 yrs, I had spent much of my time with God alone, reading His word, and He ministered and taught me a lot. He gave me supernatural wisdom, knowledge and understanding of His word. I remember being alone in my room on a Sunday, and thinking how blessed people were to be able to go to church… I remember asking God to please make a way for me to go to church as well, I had such a yearning and strong desire to go to church and to be amongst Christians.

It was during this time that my parents had begun noticing that I was not just going through a phase. Every time my mum or dad would come to my room, I’d be reading my bible. This was of great concern to my mother. I was told that I was just wasting my life away by not “experiencing life” like others my age. When my mum realized that I was heavy into this “Christianity thing”, she had become a complete wreck. She would cry all day and all night. Her boss at work would send her back home because she had been in a bad state. She wouldn’t even eat and was constantly depressed.

One night, my mother was crying uncontrollably in her bed, when my dad came into my room with a look of desperation on his face, and asked me to please do something to make her stop crying. He begged me and I could not stand it anymore. I went up to her and hugged her and told her to stop crying and that I would make an effort to start learning the Hindu religion. She settled down, my dad thanked me, and I went back to my room and broke down into tears. I had felt so empty. It felt as if I had just rejected Jesus just for my mother to stop crying. I had compromised… Heartbroken, I immediately asked God to forgive me and He was faithful to forgive.

I loved to express my love to God with worship music. There was just something about worship that gripped me. I of course couldn’t play the music out loud on a hi-fi (as this would cause trouble for me in the sense that the spirits controlling my mother would get irritated and it made things really unpleasant), so I would instead wait until all my family would fall asleep at night, and then take my earphones, plug it into the computer and “whisper-sing” my worship to God.

This may sound silly but I can honestly say, that I have never felt such a closeness to Him as I used to those nights! I remember feeling the sensation of oil dripping down my face, but when I put my hand on my forehead to feel what it was, there was nothing there. This used to frighten me because at the time I had no idea what was happening, I’d never heard of anything like that before. You see, when I got saved, there were a lot of demonic things that I would experience as I had become a target to the devils in my Hindu home.

My first experience was one night when I was sleeping (a few days after being saved), all of a sudden I felt something pushing me down on my bed. I could not move or speak and was overwhelmed with an evil presence. Being newly converted, my first response was to try and scream for my parents to help me… no such luck. I then tried to ask a Hindu god to help me… no such luck either. Then somehow, something within me cried out, “In Jesus Name, get out!” IT LEFT! That was my first experience where I had single handedly witnessed the power that there was in Jesus’ Name! I’ve been woken up with my bed shaking rapidly, I’ve woken up and seen a being in my room… and have had things try to kill me while I sleep, but Jesus has always been there to protect me. He’s also revealed things/ rituals that have been carried out against me many times.

One day, I was lying on my bed in the afternoon with my head on my pillow just chilling with God, when I felt Him tell me to take a closer look at the pillow. I took off the pillow case, and noticed some stitching along the side of my pillow. I ripped off the stitching and placed my hand inside the actual pillow, only to find a tiny red hand-made object with a pin attached to it. It looked like a tiny 1.5cm x 1.5cm pillow. My mother had gone to a Hindu priest who had given this to her for my ‘protection’, and he had instructed her to place it in my pillow! I of course confronted her about it. She was shocked that I managed to find it! I told her that God told me to have a look at my pillow… she thought that I was absolutely CRAZY for thinking that God was talking to me!

In 2003, I really felt that God was saying to me that it was time to go to church. Oh boy, was that a battle. When I finally plucked up the courage to tell my mother that I was going to go to church at least once a weekend, she kicked against it heavily. It was as if her whole world had caved in once again. She was crying the entire day and well through the night as well. This was a difficult thing to go through as just hearing her cry at night while everyone tries to sleep, just broke my heart. I mean, I understood the importance (my family’s salvation could lie in whether I’m obedient to God), but she was completely in the dark and in utter fear. Eventually I told her that I would be going to church twice a weekend… which really angered her…or the spirits within her, but I had no choice but to keep walking if I wanted God’s fullness in my life.

One night, I got home late after church. I went into my room and felt God telling me to take a closer look at my bedroom tiles. I ran my fingers across the tiles and noticed water marks (the water had been mixed with salt so it had created a bit of a residue after it had dried up). My dear family had tried to ‘bless’ my room by sprinkling “holy” water everywhere! I confronted them… they all lied about it. I still wonder what had been going through their minds after I had found out all there deeds that were done in secret over me!

Eventually, the day came when God showed me the man that He wanted me to marry. I tried to kick against it but God is God, and He always wins in the end . This was the day that I had been dreading since I had gotten saved, as this would mean a Christian wedding and I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to explain everything to my Hindu relatives… and stories were bound to have already spread about my conversion and in their eyes, my rebelliousness.

Well on Dec 6, 2008, I got married. The wedding was completely paid for by God. Let me explain.

A few months before the wedding, I had been told by my family that they would support me and my mum said that she would help pay for it (I had no money of my own, and neither did George at the time… He did not have a job). (My mum said this to try and show me her love and support in hopes that I would soften up and not go through with it). George was also not really on speaking terms with his family so there was no support on his side either.

It was about a month before my wedding and nobody in my family had even mentioned my wedding… I didn’t even know what I was going to wear… so I went to my mum (in fear), and in a matter-of-fact manner, said to her, “Mum, you do realized that I’m getting married in a month hey?” Her reply was, “So?” I responded, “Nothing, I’m just letting you know”, and I went back to my room. I didn’t expect it but my heart just felt like it had broken into 2… over the years I’ve been hurt by family because of standing for Jesus but this had felt like someone had stuck a knife straight through my heart and had began twisting it. Eventually she came to me and told me that I was making a mistake and that she does not approve (which was obvious, but anyway), and that I needed to carefully consider getting married. I told her that I had considered it and had made my decision.

The next day, she came to me and told me how she was hurting and that she felt like a zombie, just going through the motions… that she loved her kids so much and would do anything for them… that she had tried her best to accept it but really cannot. Then she told me that she will have nothing to do with my wedding and my decision. I understood the position that she was in… I understood why. I could relate to the fear… the fear of her fellow community members- i.e. the disgrace that she would have to feel in front of them as they stared at her as she walked by, just because of me… the disgrace of not having raised me well…

I’ve been told that she blames herself for not being there for me as much as she wanted to because she needed to work to help support our family. She regrets the fact that even though I myself was still young, I had to grow up quickly to raise my younger brother and sister. All my memories of my mother have only been of love, goodness and kindness toward me… yet she feels responsible for me going astray because she was never able to spend any time with me.

I’ve tried to explain, that my converting had nothing to do with her. It was God. She wondered why I was trying to hurt them… I’ve tried to explain that it was God who found me… that I would never go through all of this just to hurt them… they believe I’ve been completely brainwashed… my mother lives a life of regret because of me… but how could I ever go back to being a Hindu just so she wont hurt anymore? I’d be living a lie…

I had my wedding two weeks later, and you know what? My heavenly Father made sure that I had the best dress that suited me. He paid for my dress, He paid for the wedding venue, He paid for the food, and He even paid for my honeymoon! Best yet, my family came to my wedding… 20 minutes before arriving at the wedding venue I phoned my dad and asked him to walk me down the isle… HE DID!

It’s been a year since I’ve gotten married. During our first year of marriage neither I nor George had had a stable financial income as we were both unemployed. During this time we confessed God’s word over our finances and lives in general, week after week, and month after month. There was not one day that we ever went to bed hungry. God always provided for us.

Because of the power of God’s word, George now has a job with a stable financial income. He’s given us everything that we’ve trusted Him to provide for us. Now even my family has accepted George completely. My relatives also get along with him very well. I can only thank God for walking me through His plan for my life. I could never have done what I did if it were not for Him. Now, it’s time to win souls for Him. People are dying and going to hell. That’s the reality. The Word has to go out. It’s our duty to get the Word out, but His duty to do the convincing that Jesus is the only way.

About 4 months ago me and a friend of mine along with 2 other people were attacked outside of a night club. The attacker was in possesion of a knife and stabbed a total of 5 people that night. I had gotten stabbed a total of 3 times, one in the liver, one in the lung, and the worst one of all that was a milimeter away from my heart, and had actually cut the sack surrounding the heart. The doctor actually said when he walked into my hospital room to see me after the surgery, that it was like seeing a ghost because i had been so close to dying.

I had always believed in God but had kind of turned my back on him and his word, and was living a dangerous life of partying and drugs. I was in the hospital for about a week and was dealing with the attack very negatively and had alot of built up anger. Then one morning for no explainable reason i broke down and started to cry prefusaly, the nurse had seen me crying and came over to me. Nurses are generally not suppose to preach to patients but this time the nurse closed my curtains and she told me that jesus loved me and that he is calling me. She handed me a bible and layed out scriptures that really struck me because of how closely related they were to what i was feeling and was dealing with. She began to sing to me and i closed my eyes. At that moment i felt something that i had never felt before, and she knew it. She told me that jesus was there and that him and the lord are running towards me and reaching out there love to me. This made me cry uncontrollably, and to this day i beleive that she was either an angel or a messenger of the lord.

After our encounter i felt as if my shoulders had released a million pounds off of them and i felt fantastic. Me and my mother had a chat right after that and i had told her about what happened and began crying again. I had some past secrets that i was keeping from her about the drugs and partying and i ended up confessing all of these things to her and i felt a love that i had never felt before, both from god and my family.

I still to this day have some problems and temptations but i now have no question whether god spared my life that night and the feeling that i had while she sang to me leaves no question to his pressence in my room. I thank god for saving me, and i know he truly loves all his children.

HI IM 26 ILL BE 27 IN A FEW MONTHS IVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH & IVE SEEKED GOD S MUCH BUT I STILL FEEL SO ALONE ! I PRAY ALL THE TIME FOR GOD TO LEAD ME IM SO DIFFERENT FROM MY FAMILY BARELY TALK TO THEM HAVE NO FRIENDS HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT IM TOO LONELY TO LEAVE HIM HE MAY NOT BE THE BEST ONE FOR ME . I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU ALL MORE DETAIL BUT ITD TAKE REALLY LONG. TO SUM IT UP I JUST NEED HELP I FEEL DUMB I CANT SOCIALIZE IVE TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE LIKE I BEG GOD TO SHOW ME N LEAD ME I WANT TO DO RITE MOST PPL MY AGE COULD CARE LESS I FEEL I DO BUT IM NEVER HAPPY WITH NO CONFIDENCE . CAN SOMENE HELP WITH ADVICE IT HURTS SO BAD ITS SO MUCH Y WNT GOD SHOW ME SOME TYPE OF GRACE ?? WHEN I BEG HIM I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL N HAPPY AND WANT GODS WILL FOR MY .LIFE BUT IM JUST SO STUCK IDONT EVEN KNOW IF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE BUT GOD LEAD ME TO THIS SITE HOPEFULLY ILL GET SME HELP & INSIGHT PLEAASSE GOD I NEEEDD U THIS IS WHAT I SAY ALL THE TIME I JUST FEEL SO STUPID AND ALONE

My family is a very good family. My parents are swonderful Christians and have always showed me the love of God by the way they live. I have always been saved and for the most part of my life, I would say a pretty good Christian. Then high school came around. I went through “phases” where I would be all “Christian” and then turn around and down the road be TERRIBLE. This happened multiple time. I became a homosexual, a partier (drinking and weed), bad language, and was always putting people down. My life all changed when my parents found out about my lifestyle and I tried to kill myself. While laying in the hospital bed, watching my mom cry, I realized I had messed up BIG TIME and I had to find God again. A couple days later I went to a YoungLife camp at Windy Gap and my life did a 360. I was recommited to the Lord and I have been going uphill ever since. It took awhile to get over the pain, depression, and make a new reputation for myself, but now my life is amazing and God has blessed me beyond imaginable. Now I live as a follower of Christ and I am involved in many Christian youth groups/organizations and I live my life as an example of Christ. I thank God everyday for blessing me. I know he did not allow me to die in that hospital bed because he had better plans for me.

I want to tell everyone how I was healed and led back to God. In 2006 I was induced to have my son at 41 weeks pregnant. I was in labor for 31 long hours when my baby’s heartbeat began to drop. The doctor suggested a c-section and I agreed. I was scared to death that something might happen. I just had this feeling. I said a prayer with my mom when we went back to the operating room. I was a sinner and was lost , I believed in god but hadn’t asked for forgivness then. I had the csection and while in the recovery room I felt something heavy on my legs I asked my boyfriend (my babys father and husband now) to check and see if it was something on me and he said yes it’s blood. I started to hemmorage and the doctor took me back to emergency surgery. I was out like a light. I awoke to find out that I had been given a hysterectomy. I was 19 years old. I was in so much pain. I was bleeding so bad the doctor tried to stitch my uterus back together but it didnt work and I had three blood transfusions and the doctor told my mom I would deffinatley die if I didn’t have the hysterectomy. So she signed the papers. When he came back out he told the family that he has done all he can and the rest was up to God. That’s when everyone thought I wasn’t going to make it. They were making plans for where my son would live. My grandfather (may he rest in peace) KEPT PRAYING! praying more and more he had people praying in like 5 different states for me! Then a man came to the hospital. I was on a ventalator tube in my throat and couldnt talk or nothing. I was in an induced coma because of the pain I would have been in if awake the dr’s thought it was best. The man made a prayer group of people in my family holding hands and prayed for me . When he was finished praying he was smiling and laughing telling my mom that I was coming out of ICU in a matter of time and he KNEW I was coming out. He said the LORD told him I was. Well the next day I was up in the chair and talking without the tube! I was moved to a regular room the day after that and went home to be with my newborn son four days there after. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks all together. The lord god healed me and it happened through the power of prayer. I am so thankful for everything he has done for me today and the chances I’ve been given to accept Christ as my savior..

I accepted Christ and was baptized a month or so after this all happened. Four months later I backslid and started acting out and sinning a lot.  I was like 10 times worse in sin than I was before I gave my life to God. I commited adultrey, I was self harming and deeply depressed. I thought about suicide a lot. I was doing drugs/drinking, I was being a horrible mother to my son. I always loved him but I wasn’t there for him like I should’ve been. I have went back to church and plan on staying there. My husband and I want to raise our son up to know that God is always there for him. I have been saved so many times from drugs and adultry and my husband from alcoholism. He saved my marriage! I just wanted to share that God has changed my life for the better and I was nothing without him! Anything is possible with him!

There is something else on my heart that I wish to share. I was laying in bed and kept having thoughts about not being saved and not being right with God. I was praying and praying that It was the devil tempting me and telling me these things. I asked God if he was there with me let me know he is  there.. Please I begged. I was so confused of what to do. This was about a week ago. I begged for about an hour really. Then I was laying on my bed on my stomach with my face down and praying hard. I felt a presence standing beside my bed. I was over come  with emotions and I  know that it was jesus standing beside me letting me know that he was there. I did not move my head up to look to see him but I felt him there. I know that it was him! I started to thank God and worship him and cry loudly letting him know that I know he was with me. It was one of the most amazing experiences with God. I’ve known. I know that my Jesus loves me and he is with me no matter what the devil says he is a liar and he will keep lying ! I will not believe him because I’ve met Jesus now and he is with me always! I hope that this testimony will maybe touch someone’s heart and let them know that all you have to do is pray to him and he will show you the way and no matter what don’t give up because he is there and he is listening to you! He will never fail you and He loves you so much! All I did was kept praying and it was amazing to experience the love of Jesus. No I was not on drugs and no I was not drinking It was the power of God. TRUST IN HIM FOREVER! I love all of you. Your sister in Christ.

Praise God! We serve an awesome God!! My name is Gurinder and I would like to share some of the things which God has done for me in my life. I have been a Christian ever since I was a little child. God has performed many miracles in my life. The first miracle I would like to share with you is after my firstborn son I was unable to conceive for five years and had a miscarriage. I went to church with tremendous faith on Easter Sunday, there was a special guest speaker, a pastor from India his name was R.B. Lal. The pastor prayed for my husband and I and a month later I truly received my blessing. God is so good he answers our prayers. God has blessed me with three beautiful children two boys and a girl. A second miracle that God did in our life was when my older son was in Kindergarten he became really sick. He was in and out of the hospital for about a month and the doctors were unable to figure out what was wrong with him. He was vomitting nonstop up to 12 times a day for almost a month. Everyone I knew was praying for him, I put in prayer requests all over the world, the whole church prayed and God heard our prayers he touched and healed him. At last I would like to share another incredible experience which I had about seven years ago. My husband had just left to work early in the morning. My son was sleeping on the bed while I was sitting on the bed right next to him and praying. It was early in the morning so I thought the sun was coming up when a bright light appeared in my room and I heard someone call out my name. I was amazed, I could not believe my eyes, when I say an Angel of God standing there holding a scroll in his hands. This light was so bright it was blinding to the eyes and I could hardly open my eyes. The angel was speaking in a heavenly language which kind of sounded like when people at church speak in tongues. I could not understand anything being spoken but tears just started to flow from my eyes and I felt this warmth and love come over me. Afterwards, I went and got my Bible and the verse which I got was to wait upon the Lord and to wait upon the Lord simply means to pray. I will never ever forget that day, I called my parents and my husband right away and told them what had happened. Ever since that day I have been healed from allergies which I had suffered from since childhood. I just want to tell everyone that God is so real and he loves and he cares for all of us.

My name is Dorathy Hedges.

In July 2002. I became very ill, with Double Pneumonia and Bronchits. I was 59 years.

I was accessed at White Cross Medical Centre, Was sent to the local Hospital, where I end up in Intensive Care in a coma.

Because they gave me Penicillin, which gave me Anaphylactic Shock. {severe allergic reaction} When on life surport I died twice.

When I floated down the tunnel, I came into this Wonderful Light getting bigger and bigger, at the end I was greeted by Jesus and some Angels.

JESUS took my hand told me I was needed, I have to much for you to do, and JESUS prayed over me.
I saw Birds and Animals , People and flowers changing colours. And Angels Singing.

Next I found myself a an arm chair back in the word. At night I had Angles at the four corners of my bed playing music.

With what happened I had no voice, and needed an operation to be able to speak.

I spent 3 1/2 months in Hospital until able to return home in November:
To begin a New Life.

It’s been 7 years since then, I’m now 65 years. And the Lord is still working on me. All Praise Honor and Glory go to Our Father , Jesus , and Holy Spirit. Amen

HI IM 26 ILL BE 27 IN A FEW MONTHS IVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH & IVE SEEKED GOD S MUCH BUT I STILL FEEL SO ALONE ! I PRAY ALL THE TIME FOR GOD TO LEAD ME IM SO DIFFERENT FROM MY FAMILY BARELY TALK TO THEM HAVE NO FRIENDS HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT IM TOO LONELY TO LEAVE HIM HE MAY NOT BE THE BEST ONE FOR ME . I WISH I COULD GIVE YOUALL MORE DETAIL BUT ITD TAKE REALLY LONG. TO SUM IT UP I JUST NEED HELP I FEEL DUMB I CANT SOCIALIZE IVE TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE LIKE I BEG GOD TO SHOW ME N LEAD ME I WANT TO DO RITE MOST PPL MY AGE COULD CARE LESS I FEEL I DO BUT IM NEVER HAPPY WITH NO CONFIDENCE . CAN SOMENE HELP WITH ADVICE IT HURTS SO BAD ITS SO MUCH Y WNT GOD SHOW ME SOME TYPE OF GRACE ?? WHEN I BEG HIM I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL N HAPPY AND WANT GODS WILL FOR MY .LIFE BUT IM JUST SO STUCK IDONT EVEN KNOW IF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE BUT GOD LEAD ME TO THIS SITE HOPEFULLY ILL GET SME HELP & INSIGHT PLEAASSE GOD I NEEEDD U THIS IS WHAT I SAY ALL THE TIME I JUST FEEL SO STUPID AND ALONE

Dear Beloveds in CHRIST,

Holy wishes in the Name of my Savior!

I born in India to a Christian family. Although my parents lead me to discipline, I want to satisfy my friends and indulge me to all evils. In my school days I the one who make others to fall in sin, Gossiping and enjoying sin was our routine. I was oppressed by everyone, so I became a hater of people and had a terrorist mind, I will be very joy when I hear a death in news or something. I want everyone to be killed, But my Lord made me to give Life to everyone Hallelujah…

Until the age of 18 I had gone behind this world seeking all temporary items. But at the age of 18 by the compulsion of my neighbors I attended one week Prayer meeting in Elavur- Chennai.In that meeting they asked all to praise God with a loud voice, But I the one who open mouth only for gossip and bad words started praising God as Iam helpless. Although I cried many times for the oppression and depression I had, For the first time tears came in front of my Lord thinking my life’s way is very worst. Thats the time GOD picked me from the sinful mud in which iam landed for years, My inner eyes were opened, I submitted myself to my Lord, A new heart and mind blooms in me. I don’t know how my worries vanished, I feeled  iam set free from all bondages, a great deliverance bounded me, a joy of heaven fills my heart, Even though the tears reach the ground my Savior wiped it away, I started to hate sin than anything, I tried and begged my savior to wash away all sorts of sin which disturbs my mind & heart. I can’t do anything for the grace which HE showed upon me.

Thus Begins my SALVATION…

I always wonder that how my Lord saved me as Iam a worst sinner who is to be punished than anyone in the world. GOD itself revealed that I had a Salvation. It was not informed me by Pastors or Evangelists.

GOD tuned me to attain the high esteem of Holiness by Blessing Tv in which HE makes numerous changes in me through the WORD of GOD. Thus the unknown foolish activities peeled off from me day by day.

I am very happy to read the Word of God because after taking the Word which my Lord taught me I try every chance to obey that WORD.

I search every page in the Holy BIBLE to find a Word in which I can obey. GOD has revealed numerous knowledge to me by HIS WORD. Always I enjoy in them and happy to obey them.

I always had a great joy in obeying the Word of GOD. By this process I easily grow and step in to my Lord.

GOD using this servant in various tracks for His glory. Thanks to the Lord.

GOD has many plans for me and Iam waiting for my Lord’s Time.