Testimony Share

I experienced the power of God when I was pregnant.

I am a single mom, night after night I would cry, stress my self out because I thought I couldn’t do it alone.

But thank God for Jesus, he never leave me nor forsake me, he was my help in times of trouble. At times I used to worry about where the baby’s clothes would come from, because I had lost my job early in my pregnancy, and I had rent to pay and other bills. But there was nothing that I worried about that God didn’t take care of!

I remember riding on a bus one day, I saw this man who’s hand was handicapped (it is customary in my Country that if you felt sorry for anyone with any deformitythen your child will be born with that deformity) I began crying and God worried because at that point I forgot what it feels like to be sorry for someone, my sisters and brothers if the devil knows you are afraid of something, he’ll drive the fear in you to a point where you might even start feeling symptoms. In this case he just drove the fear in me, I cried night and day.

The devil is a liar!

My stepfather was in the hospital and I decided to visit him, little did I know that God had a plan that day.

A man came to pray for my step dad, I did not know this man and this man did not know me but he said to me:

the Lord said to tell you to stop worrying yourself the baby is going to be fine!

What a mighty God we serve?

Sometimes we get a word and because we doubt God, we seek a secound opinion but if God says it he will do it!

I did an Ultra Sound and my baby was fine.

I decided to stop worrying but then I started worrying about the pain of giving birth because I was told by friends that it was horrible, so I decided then and there that I want to do a C- Section.

One Saturday I woke up, I was eight months pregnant a voice said to me that I must make a move so I went to see the Doctor, when I went, I said: Doctor I am going to do a C- Section, he said: Miss C- Sections are very expensive can you afford one? I said no, he said your too young further more its your first child, no C- section; I smiled.

He sent me to the examination room where he was going to examined me, after he examined me he said: you got your wish, you are going to have a C- Section!

I went to the hospital the same day they put off my surgery for the monday because they said that the operating theather was full for sunday, I cried out to God because I hate hospitals.

I said God I can’t wait until monday please let them do it tomarrow, thanks be to God the next day they examined me they said prepared the theater for this lady she has to have the baby today! God is a way maker!

No matter what your circumstances maybe turn it over to Jesus, don’t expect him to fix your situation and once you are sorted out you go back to the same thing and the same sinful life you were living before! God is a jealous God! Have the fear of God in you because if you don’t when disaster come upon you your  going to need him again to deliver you and God will remember how  you were ungrateful.

When you give someone something you expect them to tell you thanks, then why when God gives us deliverance we don’t expect to give him praises and honour! ( by honouring him I mean give him your life). We are living in perilous times and we are living like the children of Isreal!

I say this because sometimes after our deliverance we put God aside until next time we need him, it cannot work!

If someone was to do that to us we would feel like we are being used! God has feelings too! sometimes we need to dress back and walk in God shoe! I say this to point out because sometimes we might not realise! As for me and my house I will serve the lord!

i grew up in my church my whole life. my dad is an assitant pastor in my church. everyone loves him. everyone expects me to be a good guy. i pretty much have been a good guy throughout my childhood. growing up in a christian household, was so different from everything outside of the world. my parents never really taught me anything about stuff like music, all they would listen to is christian music, i did not kno anything about any music. . . and bc of that i was made fun of by other ppl. i’ve been pushed around mostly my whole life even in church. . . by the time high school rolled around, i started becoming more and more rebellious. i would start by cutting a class and that would increase to more classes every day. i even started hanging out w. the wrong crowd, who all they did was cut and smoke weed and juss be lazy. i never smoked at all. thank god. but me and a friend starting doing graffiti, and eventually we were caught by the cops and taken to jail. it was my 1st time so i was let go the next day w. five days of community service. but then i realized that people i used to talk at school didn’t want to talk to me no more bc i cut so much. and by the end of senior year, i only had a few friends and that’s about it. now for my main problem, i was a porn addict. it all started at middle school, ppl would juss show me pics and eventually i started lookin on my on. from that, it led to clips,and then films. eventually i started masterbating which was like 3 yrs ago. it was a daily routine for me. i even did it more than once in a single day. near the end of 07, i got into a relationship w. a girl. which was good bc i stopped w. the porn, but i was pretty lustful. the 1st time me and her were together, i had the urge to have sex w. her. but then, i stopped bc it was too quick and she would get mad at me. . . i was pretty happy w. her, i didn’t need porn at all, maybe like once i looked at it. . . eventually, we broke up. . . which really saddened me. . . and i went back to porn, by feb, something happened to me. . . i had a fight(not physical) w. her which had me furious with anger and resentment. that rage eventually turned into bitter loneliness, and even w. the porn, that didn’t help at all. . . i started feelin isolated from the world, and there were times were i even threw up bc i was so depressed. i couldn’t even focus on school bc it was so stressful and when i came home, i broke down into tears. i even started thinkin about committing suicide. . . and so i prayed and for the 1st time, after all those yrs growin up in church, i accepted christ. it’s been a month since i stopped w. the porn, but i still get images in my head. there are times where when i sleep, i start dreamin about it. . . and the are times where i have the urge to go back to the net to continue where i left off. . . but i never went back to that. anyways i’m 19,  but i do not feel 19, i barely know anything in the world, 1) bc i never paid attention, 2) i’m a pastors son.  i’m like the worst talker ever bc i have nothing to talk about.  i’m not really funny. and i’m quiet most of the time. which makes me feel even more lonely. & other than that, i don’t feel like i’m independent. i’m always takin orders from somebody else. i’m the type of guy who gets pushed around. the reason i don’t do anything back is bc i don’t wanna make it worse. but like i said, i’m like the worst talker ever. and the only real people i have in my life is my parents, a few of my cousins, and like a few friends. idk what to do from here, i know i trust christ now, i get sad but then i get better, but still, what should i do now?

I had a normal childhood up until a point. I went to grade school, came home and horsed around, and got into mischeif like most boys do when they are young.

When I was young, I remember throwing finger jello up on the ceiling. What surprised me was that it stuck.

In 1987, when I was 8yrs old, I could hardly wait for school to get out for the summer. When it did, I had fun like most kids do, that is until I started getting sick. For 2 weeks I had what my mom thought was the flu. The last and final symptom started the beginning of a change, not only in my life, but my family, friends, and my surrounding community.

 The final symptom was double vision.

I was taken to the community hospital in the city next to where I lived. An MRI was done and a brain tumor was revealed. I was then flown to a bigger hospital. During the flight I went into a seizure. Things were bad. I found out much later that I almost died during the helicopter ride. Once at the hospital I was rushed into emmediate surgery where a shunt was surgically placed against my skull to relese the fluid on my brain. 2 days late the tumor was removed.

I was then in remission for about 1 year. Then another tumor showed up in the same place.

This was when my parents  decided to take me Rochester, Minnesota for treatment. The Mayo Clinic and the biggest hospital in the world resides there, plus the hospital has a whole floor for kids with cancer.

I went through 1 year of alternating 2 week sessions of chemo therapy & radiation.

While on the cancer ward I made many friends my own age. What shattered me, was when one of them would die. This is when I would think that I would die too. Due to all of this I was tortured emotionally and this caused heartache and deep emotional scars.

This was so much to handle as a young child. I was only 9 years old at the time.

The chemotherapy that I was given was an extra strong dose. This was in order to kill the cancerous cells. This did not only take a toll on me physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

The chemo made me gain a lot of weight. Before the chemo I was skinny, and afterward I resembled the philsbury doughboy.

After the year of torture I went home and back to school. After all I had been through, you’d think I could catch a break. Once back to school I was relentlessly bullied about my weight. My self esteem was pounded on. There was a period where I cried begging my mom to let me stay home from school.

My last brain tumor was removed in 1997 towards the end of my senior year in high school. My last surgery changed my life for many reasons. The most important reason is because afterward, God revealed Himself to me.

After my last surgery I had a fealing like pins and needles were being stuck in and out of my feet. I had this fealing for 4 days and 5 nights. I got no sleep due to the pain.

During this time, 4 or 5 doctor’s examined me and they couldn’t figure out why this was going on. One of the doctors stated, “This goes down in the record book because we have never seen anything like this before”. Remember, this was the biggest hospital in the world.

On the fifth night of excruciating pain, I yelled out, “God take the pain away !”

Next thing I know, I was waking up. I was scared because I didn’t feal any pain in my feet. I swung my legs across the edge of my bed and put my feet about an inch or 2 above the floor. I was scared to put my feet down because I was afraid that the pain would come back. Thank God, it didn’t. I stood up and walked around because the pain was gone.

This was the 1st time God had touched my life, but I didn’t realize this until after I was saved. I was reading my Bible and God revealed to me Luke 5:17-26 Jesus Heals A Paralized Man. This passage is very similar to what happened to me.

I have learned that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason. Like up above, God performed a miracle in my life and now I use it to preach to people about what God is capable of doing for them.

Just because a miracle happened didn’t mean that everything was going to be perfect in my life.

After my last surgery, manaic depression took over my life. This caused me to go  in and out of phsych. wards for 3 years.

Thing got so bad that I attemptedd suicide. I ended up spending my 21st birthday in a phsych ward.

I am not crazy. I just had severe problems due to the after effects of everything.

When I was 22 or 23, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and I was reborn. If you don’t know what being ‘reborn’ means, go to the book of John in the bible and this should help you.

At the present time I am on disability and unable to wotk, but God is using this to have me work for Him as an evangelist. For those who don’t know what an evangelist is, it is a person who tells others about Christ. I minister to churches, schools, and to individuals when the holy spirit moves me to. Presently God is using my gifts through the internet, as well as in other ways.

My family and I belong to a wonderful church. The name is Jenkins Memorial Church. The church’s mission is

To serve, teach, train and strengthen Christian character and conduct within our church and community

This is a wonderful medical, faith based miracle. In October of 2007 I was riding down the road feeling my swollen neck. Couldn’t see it just thought it was swollen. Something or someone was telling me that I need to get it looked at. I had been battling smoking and drinking for quite sometime and could not quit. Along with the intuition or the message from God that something was wrong with my throat I was experiencing chest pains. Bad enough that I would have to pull over and relax for 5-10 minutes to get the pain to go away. I went to the hospital that night. And like before they checked me out thoroughly. Primarily the heart. ALL tests came back OK. After a day or so of concern I would be back to smoking and drinking because, why not, these tests keep coming back OK. I admitted to GOD that I was powerless over the smoking and drinking and that I wished one of these tests would come back negative so as to change my life around in such a way I had no choice but to quit smoking and drinking. (Be careful what you wish for because God does hear your prayers) The prior day when I was riding down the road feeling my neck I did make the phone call to my doctor. I went in to see her and she could not see down in the throat very far without a laryngoscope. My primary doctor sent me to a Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. This doctor did use the laryngoscope and went down into my throat and took a look. My wife was sitting there with me. As he finished the examination he explained that I had a growth so large it covered the whole airway and that he did not know how I was breathing. I asked him point blank if it was cancer. His response was “It looks like a duck” From the saying if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it probably is a duck. He was telling us softly that I had Cancer.

My new Ear, Nose and Throat doctor started assembling a team of doctors. The first one was the Director of Medical Oncology at a local Baltimore Cancer Center. He also looked at the growth and conferred it looked like Cancer. From here I saw two other doctors one was a surgeon to put in a plug and a port I think they called it. One was an object they were going to put under the skin in the shoulder blade area. It was where the needles go. I would have so many needles for chemotherapy and blood taken etc. that they give you this thing so you don’t have to have your veins wore out over the months of needles. The same surgeon was to work with a Gastroenterologists and install a feeding tube. With Cancer in the throat I would not be able to eat. The procedure was somewhat involved. The surgeon would make an incision and pass thru to the Gastroenterologist working on the inside what he needed to attach the feeding tube to my stomach and sew it up. This Cancer TEAM was still being put together, next I went to the Oral Surgeon. I was there for him to check me out and inform me that my teeth needed to all be pulled. Too close to the throat are the teeth. They would not survive the radiation treatments. You have to pull them in advance and let the gums heal because when you start putting all that radiation in your mouth and teeth start falling out you can get real sick if radiation enters the tooth sockets where a tooth fell out. Last but not least I saw the Radiation doctor, he too very experienced in the Cancer Center as the the Primary Radiation Oncologist. We had a great team being put together that is for sure.

Here is what I think is a very important part of seeing GOD work a miracle. You have to have great faith. Being as I knew that GOD was answering my request. I asked him to give me a negative test that would ultimately change my life and I would have no choice but to stop smoking and drinking. Since he was giving me what I asked for I had faith that he is a loving GOD and was not going to end my life on earth at this point but give me the challenge I asked for and give me the option of succumbing to it and failing or facing it head on, overcoming the challenge and winning in the end. I truly believed this is what GOD was doing (I had absolute faith). When I prayed at church, (we have a beautiful Church that studies GODS word and prays to GOD.) I prayed from the very beginning for my wife. I was either praying after the men’s breakfast or after church service. When I walked up to my fellow church family who knew my predicament I would tell them before we started praying that I did not want to pray for myself but for my wife. They ultimately prayed for me also. But my faith was that I knew I would be OK (if I followed the path GOD wanted me to and the way he wanted me to) so I prayed for the comfort of others around me that might be effected. As I went from doctor to doctor of my 6 man doctor team getting ready for these procedures I had this great faith and in return GOD kept me calm and comforted.

Came time for the first surgery. I knew I was in GODS hands, this is where he started showing it to other people around me. I made an appointment with my two Pastors at my church. Jenkins Memorial Church in Pasadena, Maryland. I wanted to sit down with them and discuss where I was with my spirituality. I was fairly knew in my walk towards living a better christian life and I had some questions. The surgeries and procedures I faced were large and unpredictable. My Pastors are very special. They answered my questions, discussed my spirituality. They didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear they told me what I needed to hear. They also wanted me to pray in the sanctuary with a Wednesday Bible Study Group that was having class. They took me into the sanctuary and explained what was going on with me, that I had throat cancer and that I was heading to the hospital when I left the church to have surgery. In the sanctuary of a wonderful church, with great Pastors and great people blessed by GOD. They prayed for me. They had me surrounded like a loving animal in the wild protecting her young. They each laid a hand on me and they prayed. The prayers were honest and proper. The prayers were presented to our awesome GOD properly and respectfully by two great Pastors and the men and women praying prayed sincerely from the bottom of their hearts. I felt the presence of the LORD in that sanctuary.

I left and went to the hospital. I still had (and do to this day) this overwhelming faith that everything was going to be fine while walking through the front door of the hospital. I had the same faith that this was all GOD giving me what I asked for (negative tests that would force me to make life changing decisions) and I had just left my church with the reassurance of the prayers my Pastors and church family had just prayed.

The next sign of GOD. When I left the church I went home and picked up my wife and we headed for the Cancer Center (which is at the hospital) for an appointment I had the same day as surgery to see the Medical Oncologists (chemotherapy doctor at the Tate Cancer Center.) When I walked into the Cancer Center the first person we saw was a young lady named Courtnee a fellow member of our church. How nice to see a familiar face. We had no idea she worked there. I think GOD put her there to comfort me. When I left this appointment we went into the hospital and the area that you get ready for surgery. This nurse comes thru the door. The nurse is also a fellow member of our church. Her name is Brenda. Before this time I did not even know she was a nurse or that either one of these special women worked at the hospital where I was at. What a great feeling. I found out later that she rotates from department to department. She could have been scheduled in any number of departments other than this one. I think GOD put her there to comfort me. At this point I am thinking “Everywhere I look in my community I see my churchs’ (Jenkins Memorial) footprint. My Pastors pray for me while in the preparation room before I go into surgery.

I get wheeled into surgery, now I am completely in the hands of GOD! My faith is so strong at this point. I have peace with GOD, peace with myself and my wife and kids, peace with my church, church family and Pastors. I am at PEACE. At this point this surgery was no more important or dramatic than a carpal tunnel surgery. I am not nervous, I am not thinking about Cancer or survival. My faith has me at total peace. The first surgery (of 4 so far) they went in, took a look around and took 12 samples (biopsy). The results come back as negative for cancer. Had two doctors who deal with this all the time look at this growth at point blank range and called it cancer. One of the doctors the director and head of his field at a major Cancer Center outside Baltimore, Md. They went as far as to set up a 6 man medical team with each of them having various duties. Some of these doctors may have been present in the operating room on stand by to install some work they needed installed to go forward with the part of the procedures that would be theirs. This was a Wednesday. I remember the statement being made between Wednesday and Saturday sometime that this is the most I have ever seen someone awake while hooked up to a ventilator. I also was suffering from pneumonia. I was at peace, I was not scared, I had FAITH, I was in GOD’s hands. They tried desperately not to put a tracheotomy in and decided not to during the first surgery. Sometime between Wednesday and Saturday they decided they had to go back in and put the tracheotomy in which was not a good thing because I had just had surgery and was weak and I had pneumonia. I was having a hard time breathing and was actually turning blue during that night before. The anesthesiologist actually had a conversation with my wife to inform her that with the state of my breathing that there was a chance I would not survive. Not only did I survive the surgery, but they took 6 more biopsy samples. The next sign from GOD! … The doctors could not find the cancer they were perplexed. They put the tracheotomy in so that I could breath. I woke up and recovered. Those 6 more biopsy samples came back as negative for cancer. During the two weeks I was in the hospital they had a lot of doctors trying to figure out where the cancer went to and what was going on in my body. They even had a doctor there from the CDC (center for disease control) taking tests. This testimony is about the signs of GOD. But I will give one example of each stay in the hospital that was a trial and tribulation to get through so those of you that read this do not lose track of the pain and suffering we sometimes have to go thru to get to the successes on the other side. I had a 2-3 day period with NO SLEEP. (that doesn’t mean hard time sleeping that means NO SLEEP. I was so tired!.) My neck was so sore. It was an aching pain. No matter what I did and no matter what drugs they tried (including Morphine and Diladid) the ache in my neck which was severe was there to stay. Believe me we tried the strongest of everything. You could have flown in a pillow from a King somewhere, anywhere in the world made from the finest linens and stuffed with the finest of material, when I sat my head in it my neck had excruciating pain. I think it was a combination of many things. I had a tracheotomy in the front of my neck so that I am sure weakened my neck muscles. Also it had taken away structurally part of my neck, (a hole right in the front.) They must have had my head and neck in numerous positions while in surgery and the toll a hospital bed will take on your body doesn’t help. So that two - three day period with neck pain that wouldn’t quit and NO SLEEP was part of the pain I would have to go thru to get to the other side of this ordeal. I was discharged on November 20, 2007 thirteen days after surgery and was able to spend Thanksgiving with my family. What a blessing from GOD!

The next surgery was December 12, 2007. Again I go into get ready for surgery and who is there. My friend from church that is a nurse. Her husband, also a big part of my church family. My pastors prayed for me again. During the prayer my pastor prayed for God to guide the hands of the surgeon. The surgery went well. Here is the trials and tribulation section of this surgery. When I woke up in ICU my throat was packed with gauze. This was to protect against bleeding. If I were to start bleeding in my throat it’s a hard place to get to and they may not be able to stop the bleeding in time. The tough part was that there was a piece of the gauze coming up out of my throat, threw my mouth and hanging outside my mouth with a bite down piece. This is so the gauze can be pulled out later. The only problem is the piece of gauze coming out of my mouth is passing thru the GAG zone, … constantly. It was so bad the nurses were suffering with me. They called my doctor to see if there was anything they could do for me. He said absolutely not, if you feel like it you can sit with him and comfort him and turn up the sedation. I respect his decision, he made a professional decision to keep me alive instead of an emotional decision. (Just like my Pastors did for me, he told the nurses what they needed to hear not what they wanted to hear.) Here is your next presence of GOD! The doctor came in 4-5 days later. He looked in my throat with the scope and while he was looking around he said twice. “WOW”. Now WOW can be interpreted two ways. Either positive or negative. He was using it as a positive. He told me that my air way was clear from one side to the other. He told me that the epiglottis which was leaning over was now standing up. With the WOW’s and the way he was talking it was like he could not believe what he was looking at. He was amazed at the work that was done. Of course he was. It was the Pastor’s prayer that asked for GOD to guide the hands of the surgeon. The surgeon was saying WOW while he was admiring GOD’s work. He also told me that they had taken large amounts of material that they had removed and sent it to the MAYO CLINIC. These doctors after 16 BIOPSIES are still trying to figure where the Cancer went to. The test results from the MAYO CLINIC came back as negative … NO CANCER!. I was discharged on December 17, 2007. Think about it 4 major surgeries starting November 7th thru January 23rd. I was discharged in time to celebrate Thanksgiving between the 2nd and 3rd surgery and I was discharged in time to celebrate Jesus Birthday between the 3rd and 4th surgery. I have been carried safely in GODS hands the whole way!

These are the exact words I wrote to one of my Pastors trying to understand this situation. Since I sent the last email I have been thinking even more about this subject. Why did the doctor say wow twice during my examination? Shouldn’t he already know what to expect. Or at least have an idea of what the expected range of success or failure should be. If what he saw was within these normal parameters why the Wow? Especially why Wow! twice? He must have been looking at something amazing? Something he didn’t expect? Something outside the parameters he expected? Maybe he was so amazed at what God could do using his hands. Think about it, why the Wow!?

As I started to realize what has been happening (that I was experiencing GOD first hand) I did not understand completely. As we have a great church at Jenkins Memorial we also have great Pastors. I asked my Pastor of what a testimony was and how and what God expected of me. Here is his response to me;

The word you are looking for is testimony. When someone has a personal encounter with the Lord they have a story to tell. That story is called a testimony. You have had that kind of encounter with him. He has healed you in a way that surprised even the doctors. I believe that He has healed you with His almighty power and because of that, you have a testimony. Testimonies need to be shared. They encourage other Christians in their walk. It demonstrates God’s unlimited power and love for each of us. It lets people know that He can and will perform miracles - not just in the Bible- but in everyday life. Testimonies can be about healing, about God meeting someones needs, how God used them to help others, or how God brought them to Jesus. Testimonies are also important for non-Christians as they can see that He is alive and well and working in the lives of those who love Him. I wanted to share yours with the Bible study group to help strengthen and encourage them in their walk. This is something that happened to someone just like them, not someone far away that they might read about or someone in scripture. This is real life and with someone they prayed over. Just reading the words is one thing, but actually living through it (which they have done with you) is much more powerful. You have a testimony and the Lord expects you to share it with others whenever you have the opportunity.

The next surgery was not scheduled until January 23, 2008. Two weeks later December 31, 2007 I was doing great and had my strength back. I had 3 weeks to go before my next scheduled surgery. I got permission from my doctor to work light duty at work. I am the General Superintendent of a major construction company in the Washington DC area. I had the ability to organize men, materials at work. Attend meetings etc. without physical exertion. I also had a lot of people that know me and knew what I was going through. They were and are getting my testimony first hand while they see me back at work talking about it. It was great to get back to work.

The previous surgery (#3) the surgeon was taking large amounts of material out. He said he was in the mowing mode.

We now go in to the hospital again for surgery #4. This time my angel nurse is not working BUT she was there to see me get checked in. My two Pastors were both there to pray for me. We all prayed for GODS will to be done and for GOD to guide the hands of the surgeon. I remember going into the operating room. Again I was so confident and filled with faith. I scooted off the gurney onto the operating table with that same faith as day one. When I woke up I was again in the ICU unit. I had a particular nurse that kept saying to me every time she came into my room you really don’t need to be in here. She really had an attitude. The next day they discharged me from the ICU unit right out the front door of the hospital. As I was being wheeled out I turned the corner with my wife by my side being pushed by a nurse and we come face to face with one of our Pastors. Being checked out of ICU the day after surgery saved the insurance company $5000, getting home and back to work a week sooner $1000, the look on my Pastors face seeing me being wheeled out of the hospital from ICU priceless.

I went to my doctor for him to see me, it was 6 days after this surgery. These office visits are particularly friendly and upbeat. They treat me well. I thank them often and I am sure they realize that something special has taken place on their watch. He used a procedure called Coblation this time. The reason for the Coblation was to not have to cut anymore with the scalpel (cut down on bleeding either during surgery or after) and to not have to use too much heat. He was getting close to being done and this growth was on the base of my tongue. If you damage the tongue it can be devastating as the tongue is involved in many things including speech and eating. The procedure was scheduled for one hour. It ended up being three hours. The coblation wand is held in position for 10-15 seconds at a time while the doctor is using it to remove tissue. This is something they use now a days for tonsillectomys. 10-15 seconds at a time, he was in there for 3 hours. He said to me ” I do not know how I did it, I should have a pinched nerve holding onto that wand for 3 hours” Our Pastors, Our Church, Our church family, my wife and I have been praying each time to have GOD guide the hands of the doctor. Do you think maybe GOD was holding the hands of this doctor for 3 hours? I do!

I have one more example of God’s work. This testimony is getting long. It could be longer. This particular time, place, story is so packed with the presence of GOD it could go on forever. After this last surgery I was checked out so early. I was checked out the very next day out of ICU. I went to a men’s breakfast at church, it was about 1 1/2 days after getting out of the hospital. After all I have been through I really enjoy hearing the word of GOD and the discussions about the word of GOD among other people. So I was kind of quiet, minding my own business listening to everyone else. The guest speaker had heard about my situation and asked me to speak of my testimony. He caught me by surprise, I was still on pain medicine, still had some good pain working in the throat and was totally not ready to participate. I stood up started my story at surgery #4 and being checked out of ICU 2 days earlier and then ran out of story. Luckily one of my fellow church family stood up and filled everyone in with a more complete version of what I had been through. I felt as though I had failed at spreading the word of my testimony, I felt as though I had failed that Saturday morning. The next morning in church I prayed that GOD would help me to be able to share my testimony with people properly. Sometime before, during or after that service I heard that one of our fellow church family was in the hospital. I decided that I needed to go visit someone in the hospital. My family and I had so much Love and Concern given to us while I was in the hospital. I went to visit this person and it was the visit that was on my mind, not a testimony as I knew this person already and they knew my story already. When I get there we had a nice visit. His wife were there. His son was also there visiting and he was in a double room, his room mate was there. This friend of mine looked at me and said “Ken will you share your story” I shared my story and it went very well.” I prayed that morning for GOD to help me to be able to share my testimony properly and that afternoon I was! GOD sure is GREAT isn’ he!

Also I will leave with this. I started this testimony out with a statement that I was witnessing the presence of GOD and my church all thru our community. First he put a young lady and a young nurse and her husband in plain view along the road between myself and the unknown. Then, when I stumbled (in my eyes) at that men’s breakfast where I thought I had failed to give my testimony properly God gently nudged me in the right direction to go visit a fellow church family member. While visiting this person God let this room mate hear the story of GOD and Jenkins Memorial. Our church recently did some upgrading inside the church and we had some old pews that went to another church. The room mate is a member of the church that our pews went to.

GOD is there, reach out to him, talk to him, ask for his help, do what he says and have the faith, do not waiver … And he will Bless You!

My friends have no doubt that there is a God because he is real, you might be wondering why he hasn’t answered your prayer as yet but he will, just trust in him and watch for the result. This is my testimony, I am very ill and I prayed to God that he will deliver me and send someone to tell me that he will fix it, from then on I started to wonder if I must go back to school, I prayed one wednesday morning and I told God that I wanted an answer and I couldn’t wait until the next day because he is God, I said God I want a sign, I was going home that evening looking for a sign and couldn’t find 1, the Church I attend was keeping service and pastor was preaching, and I stopped, went inside and start worshipping too, in my heart I said I have come this far please don’t let me leave without answering my prayer, as the service was closing I said God are you really going to let me leave here without an answer and Pastor said: you must complete the job, finish it, finish the studies complete it, complete it.

I lift my hands towards heaven and started crying, because I know by completing my studies that God had a plan to heal me.

The same week on Saturday I was going to buy some past Papers for my exam, I said God was it really you who said that I must complete my studies show me a sign, when I went to buy the past papers the man gave me 2 free, and not only that I was at work the following evening and I sold somne things valued at the price I had payed for the past papers. Children of God hold on to Jesus he never fails, when all is lost Jesus can and he will fix it, if you believe, he has promised to fix my situation and I have no doubt that he will and when he does I’ll let you know. We serve a mighty God all powerful, all awesome!

Not a God of half way, but a God all the way, he’s able don’t doubt him, when all is lost take it to Jesus and allow him to fix it, even if he doesn’t come through for you praise him just the same he’s an untime God and he never fails, never! take my word Jesus is real and there is a God!

This dream took place in my room. In this dream I was awakened from my sleep and in bed. I did not have any strength at first. I felt paralyzed. It sounded like my room was filled with many things crawling and scraping on the wall. I could see my room completely but still could not move.

I realized these things were trying to harm me but I could not see them. I tried to speak and move but I could not. I knew to say “Jesus” when you are in trouble with anything out of your hands. At first I could not even speak but I keep trying. Finally I got the strength to whisper “Jesus.”

When I said “Jesus” I began to get more strength and I could move my arm. I moved my arm up in the air and pointed to my heart and said “ Jesus is my best friend.”

When I said “ Jesus is my best friend” the scraping on the wall went away and I got all my strength back. It was very cool.

Those demons and satan are all show. They are really cowards and will run in fear of Jesus. Just by saying his name they fled and they fled in a hurry. When I woke up my room looked exactly like it did in my dream. I was even in the same position.

If you are in any situation call on the name of “ Jesus” because there is power in that name. Nothing can stand in the way of Jesus. Jesus is pure strength. Jesus will save you out of harms way. Jesus will never let you down. It is incredible. Evil will try to scare you, but they don’t have the strength of Jesus and cannot even put up a fight. Remember to say “ Jesus” when you are scared it works every time.

hi!

my name is Marcus and this is the first time i have to share my testimony through internet to those whom may be hurt. this is only some of the things that i have experienced during my walk with the lord. i am a slow typer but i will try all my best to write all in detail on how the lord changed my life. i was inspired by god to write this testimony and give it to the students in Suva, Fiji. tonight i have just got my email address and this testimony was in my computer at home. there are many other wonderful things god has done in my life that i wish to share. so i just cut and pasted it. any way i have many other things to share about and hopefully in time i will manage to share the rest of it to you my brothers and sisters in Christ. as a young person it is a great opportunity’s to know that god exist. praise god and my hope is with this little that i have may god bless you.

LORD I AM JUST A 17 YEAR OLD BOY

SUNDAY May 28, 2007

During this day we set out to do our work around the compound. There were cabbages to plant. So we set out to accomplish this task. In that day our Talatala and Radini with and a few of our members went to a mission.

So there were a few of us left in the prayer group. The mothers say about three and two other brothers of mine. At 7 o’clock we sat done and worshiped God of Israel then towards the night I sat down with my brother and we were sharing the word of God. (Isaiah 53) The suffering servants

Verse 1

The people reply, “Who would have believed what we report?

“Who could see the lord’s hand in this?

Verse 2

It was the will of the lord that his servant should grow like a plant taking root in dry ground.

He had no dignity or beauty to make us take notice of him.

There where nothing about attractive about him,

Nothing that would draw us to him

Verse 3

We despised him and rejected him; he endured suffering and pain. No one would even look at him-we ignored him as if he were nothing.

Verse 5

But because of our sins he was wounded, beaten because of the evil we did. We were healed by the blows he received.

Verse 6

All of us were like sheep that was lost, each of us going his own way. But the lord made the punishment fall on him, the punishment all of us deserved.

During our sharing we heard some one knocking at the window and felt that something different was present in the room then we sat down and prayed.

During our prayer the lord spoke to my brother and I saying “where is my children’ where is my children, be watchful and pray because the devil wants to get you, tell the others to be watchful and pray.”(He spoke in Fijian)

We sat and we prayed to the lord for help, and just thanking him. The place was filled with the Holy Ghost power. The things that had been unseen had been made known. The bad spirits that were around were known. It was like a battle field, good against bad, A spiritual war fare.

Than we went out side to the streets prayer walking giving to the lord the places we walked upon. The lord was with us during our walk. There were five of us in this war fare.

After we finished walking, we sat down and prayed in the room giving that special moment to the lord God of Israel. The lord spoke to us saying that he was victorious. During the prayer the lord gave me a vision. In my vision I saw my self standing out side looking into the house. Inside the house I saw a brilliant light that was shining, and I wondered what it was. It wasn’t the first time I have seen such amazing things. I have seen other things that God shows me but for the light shining it was indeed a wonderful experience a thing that you never see often. It is these amazing things that God show, because he wants his creation to know him, all his saying is that I exist, I am your God, who wants you to live.

I was curious to see what was in the room. Present in the room, where we sat was a man with long hair, Standing in our midst. his hair color was maybe light red. I did not see his face, but for surely the room was filled with a bright light. The whole house was filled with this light. It was indeed the glory of Jesus.

Than I saw a woman with long hair; her face was as if light shined out of it. The lady was so fare and beautiful. It was no doubt the lord Jesus, The coming king, the man that was standing there. Jesus came to save us. Now for the woman, there is a meaning to it, the woman represents something, a message for me.

(Mathew 18:20 – for where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there with them)
Jesus saved us from the forces of evil and so he can also save you and me from the lake of fire that is meant for the devil and his angles. When there is still time to repent so we must do so. Turn to God asking for forgiveness. For he is righteous and just to forgive all sin.

To you shoeshine boys, young people if your burdens are so heavy, your feet are weary to walk, people despise you, say evil things about you, gossip about you, those from broken families mom or dad have died. Or you, who have no hope, let me tell you something true. Jesus still loves you so much that he died for our sake. The lords will is that he what’s to use young people to stand for him. For I believe that the lord is going to use Fiji in a mighty way according to his will.

So dear friends the kingdom of heaven is near. So if you have not accepted him it is about time you do, the choice is yours. It is not Gods will that man should parish but for men to have eternal life. It is not his will that man should suffer in the flames of hell but to have heaven as his home.

(Isaiah 53: 7-8 “he was treated harshly, but endured it humbly; he never said a word. Like a lamb about to be slaughtered, like a sheep about to be shown, he never said a word.

He was arrested and sentenced and led off to die, and no one cared about his fate. He was put to death for the sins of our people.

SUNDAY 3 June 2007 (10.38)

I sat down to pray, a small voice spoke to me and said “why have you forsaken me, it was the second time in the day that this small voice spoke.

Not long as I sat to pray, I started to pray in an unusual language, than my prayer changed to English, than Fijian, than back to the strange tongue. Then a gentile voice spoke, I tried not to let doubt come into my mind. The voice indeed was the Holy Spirit speaking through me, for the house of the lord is within us. And he was preparing me for an encounter with the lord Jesus. The helper, the consoler was what he said he was. He said to listen well. He also said that I am going to experience something.

Soon after that I started to feel as if there was heat to my body. I sweat ed for a while, and then a humble and gentile voice spoke to me. It was indeed Jesus the son of God.

Jesus said “why have you have forsaken me”. I answered

“Lord please forgive me, it is hard”

Meaning that what I was going through was hard. Jesus replied “Marcus, mark of god it will only last for a short time, fear not for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. Pray to me, always pray, See what the devil is trying to do, the unspeakable things” Than in a vision I saw the bad things that the demons where doing, and I believe it is what the devil is doing to the young people and causing people to do such things, the things we know it is bad, sex before marriage, rape, murderer, and many other things. Jesus wants to help, because he is hurt to see what his people are doing, the filthiness that’s within us. He still loves us. No matter what we have done, he wants to touch the hearts of the young and not only the young people, everyone rich or poor. Not only the Christians also the non Christians just like he touched mine.

Than soon after the lord Jesus said “follow me” I followed Jesus and what I saw in front of me was a crocked path than we stopped at the end of the path and Jesus asked me “what do you see?” I answered “I see a ditch” And Jesus said “at the end of the ditch is a lake of fire and whoever walks in the crocked path will fall into the ditch.” Then he said “you are my witness to the nation, all the things that I show you must be shared, Because of you, people will live. I answered lord I am just a 17 year old boy. Then Jesus replied “What is in me is in you”.

Then Jesus again said “follow me” I followed him.

In front of me I saw two paths. It was in the form of “Y” the first path leaded to the right and the other was up a slight hill. Then Jesus asked me “which is the way”. My heart started to stir up, then I answered “lord you are the way the truth and the life no one goes to the father except by you” Then he said “you believe my son, those who believe in the son believes in the father who sent him” then he said “sit and pray and more things will be revealed to you” then I started to speak in the unusual language. In my heart I felt peace within me, so soothing that I didn’t want to lose it no matter what. When everything seamed so wrong it was the peace that the lord gives me, deep in my heart that brings so much relieve .It seem to say to me that every thing is alright because everything to God whether it may be hard, very hard, To god it is a simple problem, all he does is just say something and your heart leap for joy. His words is just like taking a drink in a hot day or when you are thirsty and water is just handed to you, I cant really explain how God does it but what I can say is that there is a God, his name is Jesus, the beginning and the end, the coming king

Monday 4 June, 2007

At the end of day, during the last period of class I had a lot of things in my head I was worried about this, about that, about everything, I felt really uncomfortable. Before that Ana one of my class mate, my friend, shared to me about Fiji being Israel’s little brother and the lost tribe of Israel.

During the end of the last period I prayed asking God for forgiveness and just giving everything in my heart and in my mind to him, I felt this peace again in my heart. A voice spoke to me saying “My child, do not worry about anything, worry about God”. (The voice spoke in Fijian saying “na luvequ ka kua ni lega taka e dua na ka, leqa taka ga na kalou”) I believe the Fijian language is one of the Israel languages.

Dear readers no matter what language you have, what race, we can never run away from Gods love. No matter where we hide, what we do, his loving arms is always stretching out to reach you, every single day, minute, second, all it takes is just a honest prayer from once heart, no matter how big your wrongs are, whether you murdered some one, or hated some one, or what is the biggest wrong you can think of? The lord still loves you.

But there will come a time when the lord will close his door of love and for surely we know what then will happen. The worst things will happen. I also believe that the lord will want to use Fiji in a mighty way according to his will. A brand new way, a way at which people will hear and read and are amazed at the news. God is indeed an amazing god; his works are more than the Seven Wonders of the World. You just sit and just be amazed. All we can possibly do is just say thank you lord thank you, and after we say thank you, we say more thank you and it never ends there.

There is another important message and that message is that Saturday is the day of worship (the Sabbath) which was revealed to me and my fellow youth group, talatala and Radini. It was through prayer, and because of prayer that God showed us these things and for it is my duty to share these things because God will ask me whether I have shared it and at that time I will want to say to this amazing God, the only God, Yes my lord, my king I have shared what you have shown me, and because of you lord, I had something to share. I believe that through prayer; more things will be made known. Ask the almighty God to reveal this day to you; I am sure with no doubt, that the lord will reveal it to you, just like he revealed it to use. (Mathew 28:1- after the Sabbath as Sunday morning was dawning; Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.) (Matthew 5:17 “do not think I have not come to do away with the Law of Moses and the teachings of the prophets. I have not come to do away with them but to make their teachings come true. Remember that as long as heaven and earth last, not the least, nor the smallest detail of the law will be done away with- not until the end of all things.) (Exodus 20: (Exodus 31: 12) (Deuteronomy 28)

I Thank God for his inspirations and without him there would have been no testimony and all these things would have not been known. May his name, only his name be lifted up and glorified.

Name: Marcus

Form: 701

School: Dudley high school

In this dream I was in a dark place. This place was like an old, ancient, abandoned church. The light was very dim, but very dark. I was with other people and we were all sitting staring in front of us at this wall. The whole placed had nothing in it and was barren. The wall reminded me of being inside a cave. On the wall were these carved pictures. I began to look for pictures of Jesus and the carved images began to get smaller as I looked at them. Then this light started to flicker out of nowhere. It kind of startled me and caught me off guard. The light was bright white and inside the light was a man. This man had brown hair and he had a golden glow. He was the coolest person I’ve ever seen. The golden glow even came out of his hair.

He was turned to the side and it seemed he was doing something but I did not know what he was doing. I was scared to talk to him because I felt enormous strength come from the light and I could feel that he knew everything that there was to know. Then the light dimmed and he went away. I turned to the woman sitting next me and said

“He was really cool”

and she said

“Yeah that was cool.”

As we were both amazed at what happened all of a sudden the woman I was talking to started to make these weird freaky faces. I thought she was having muscle spasms or a stroke. She started going around the room. I tried to help her and then I woke up. After I woke up I realized the man was Jesus. Jesus was not afraid of the darkness at all and it almost seemed that he was waiting for someone to try and talk to him. I read another dream similar to mine and the person that talked to Jesus got to see heaven. The light from Jesus snapped me out of the dull boring darkness and made me feel alive and excited it was amazing!

I am currently writing a book called, “FOLLOW ME! I’M LOOKING FOR HEAVEN! MAYBE WE WILL FIND IT TOGETHER!!!”. One of the chapters is called, “ADDICTIONS???=GET ADDICTED TO JESUS!!!” If you are interested in a copy of the still-in-progress book, please contact me at: 905-228-9973 or kenmathewson@cogego.ca. Below is my testimony on addictions:

MY TESTIMONY

KENNETH JAY MATHEWSON

Proverbs 23:21
For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.

I am now 56 years young, and I found a Personal (Born-Again), Relationship with GOD in my early 20’s. I smoked my first cigarette at the ripe age of 7, (thought I was going to cough up a lung), and became addicted at age 16; experienced my first intoxication at 14, (thought my stomach was coming up); smoked my first joint and cocaine at 35, after separating from my wife of 13 years. I thank the LORD for not allowing me to become addicted to the marijuana or cocaine. My liquor addiction apparently was enough for the enemy to take control my life.

In 1980, I was fortunate, (or unfortunate), to win a lottery for $100,000. My 8-year marriage at that time was on very solid ground. A hundred thousand dollars in 1980 was a large sum of money to a thirty year old. On the way to pick up our newfound, so-called fortune, I said to my wife, “we can’t let this money change our lives.” Well, she didn’t allow the money to change her life. I, on the other hand didn’t heed my own advice. Please read the following verses: (1 Timothy 6:10 and Matthew 6:24)

1 Timothy 6:10
10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
1 Timothy 6:9-11 (in Context) 1 Timothy 6 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 6:24
24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
Matthew 6:23-25 (in Context) Matthew 6 (Whole Chapter)

Please believe me, I have never hated nor despised GOD; however, I did err from the faith, and I was pierced through with many sorrows. The power of the mammon, (money), didn’t start controlling me, until a couple of years after the winfall.

In 1982, I quit my job and started up my own business. I opened up the first computer, video and satellite television store, in my small hometown of Fort Erie. To make a long story short, the business started reaping rewards within the first year of operation. However, I didn’t realize that the enemy was reaping my soul, at the same time. As I mentioned earlier, satan’s addictions are progressive. The money did become my first addiction, and that was the beginning of my spiralling downfall.

The next addiction that I encountered was the bottle. I found myself at the local watering hole, quenching my thirst with some of the enemy’s finest brews. Zombies and Long Island Ice Teas became my drug of choice. This started to become a very expensive habit, not to mention, the brain cells that I was frying. It also didn’t help my solid marriage. My wife put up with my late nights and my drunken stupors every night of the week. I’m not saying that she accepted my outrageous behaviour, but she did put up with the new me.

Prior to my drunken stupors, I had never considered cheating on my wife. Once Satan sinks his teeth into your soul, he takes over your mind as well. Any mind-altering substance will lower your inhibitions, as it did to me. He enjoys the taste of pickled souls, because they are much easier to devour. You cannot walk with JESUS on one arm, and Satan on the other arm. JESUS is a very jealous GOD! Satan doesn’t mind if you are walking with JESUS, he will attempt to steal you away from your walk with HIM. JESUS will still walk with you wherever your journey takes you, although HIS voice becomes silent, if you follow your will, and not HIS. The enemy will tug even harder on your arm, the closer you walk according to GOD’s Will.

Habakkuk 2:15
Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!

Habakkuk 2:14-16 (in Context)
Well, the next tug on my left arm, lead me from the local watering hole, to the local strip bar. He didn’t warn me that the cost of drinking would skyrocket; however, he did mention that the scenery would improve, and he had lots of friends that he would introduce me to. As I looked around the dark bar, all I saw was lost souls. It didn’t take me long to become one of those lost souls myself. This is when my next addiction began. ADULTRY!!! To this day, I cannot believe that I strayed that far from my walk with the LORD. This addiction was a costly one. It cost my marriage, my business and almost my soul. Now I could tell you that the devil made me do it. In actual fact, he is only the tempter. I was the one who gave into his enticing temptations.

1 Thessalonians 3:5
For this cause, when I could no longer forbear, I sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter have tempted you, and our labour be in vain.

It was nothing for me to spend upwards of $1000.00 a week, in my new home away from home. As my business and marriage was going down; my bar tab was going up. The further I erred from my faith; the more sorrows were piercing my soul. My successful business could not support my expensive addictions for more than three years; and my solid marriage, fell apart after 13 years of wedding bliss. You know the wedding vow that you take on your wedding day that goes something like this: “What ever GOD joins together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:5-7
Well, satan is not a man; however, he was able to break the bands of my marriage.

Revelation 12:8-10.
9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

In Heaven, GOD does not wear a watch, nor have an earthly clock hanging on the golden walls by HIS Throne. Although, HE has 2 time zones in Heaven: HIS TIME, and our time. Please read the following verse from HIS Word: 2 Peter 3:8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 2 Peter 3:7-9 (in Context). I will explain how, HIS TIME worked in my life, as I was walking in the darkness of my will.

One night, after visiting four dens of iniquity, (strip bars), I found my journey had taken me about 45 minutes away from home. I had consumed about 20 zombies and smoked a couple of joints. After closing time, I found myself upstairs in the bed of one of the dancers I had been seeing. As I stumbled out of the door of the bar around 2:00AM, I could not believe the snow that had fallen and still falling. It was the worst storm of the season. There was about a foot of snow on my van and the roads had not been plowed yet. I was barely able to hold my head up, much less drive home in these conditions. After wiping the snow off the vehicle, I got behind the wheel and found myself praying to GOD, “JESUS, if YOU will direct me home safely tonight, I will never follow this lifestyle again.” Well, HE held up HIS end of the deal. The journey home that night took about 2 hours, which I do not recall one minute of the ride. I just remember walking in the door and my wife waiting up to tell me, that she could not put up with another night of my drinking or late nights any longer. By this time, I was stone sober and I was bouncing off the ceiling because I realized, it was not me that drove home that night.

Jesus Take The Wheel

She was so happy to hear of my vow to GOD that night; and once again, HE and she had forgiven me for my wayward travels. It only took 3 or 4 months to break my vow to HIM and fall back into my sinful ways. I didn’t think that I could fall any lower than my previous state of transgressions against the LORD, or my wife, but there was still room for me to fall lower. At least GOD answered my prayer on HIS TIME that night. Please read the following verses, and you will see that you cannot walk contrary to GOD’s Word and think that there will not be any consequences to pay:

Leviticus 26:21
And if ye walk contrary unto me, and will not hearken unto me; I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins.

Leviticus 26:24
Then will I also walk contrary unto you, and will punish you yet seven times for your sins.

Leviticus 26:28
Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.

This part of my story is still hard for me to tell, and understand, as to how I could have sunk so low. My drinking and womanizing took a turn for the worse. Within two years of my vow to GOD; I had left my wife; lost my business; lost my licence for a year on a drunk driving conviction; filed for bankruptcy; and attempted suicide twice; however, I had not lost my addiction to the bottle. I found that the drinking helped me bury my sorrows that night, but they still surfaced the next morning, with no solution to carry my burdens any further here on earth. So the devil had a solution for me. Why not take the easy way out, and your burdens will be removed forever? Well, a couple of times of over-drinking, I thought maybe satan’s solution may be the only way out. Drinking from the enemy’s cup can certainly distort your thought process! Twice, I attempted to overdose on pills, only to wake up the next morning on the floor, with those same pills as a pillow for my head. Both attempts, as the tears were rolling down my face, I prayed to GOD that HE would forgive me for what I was about to do. As I was praying, I was doing a death stare in the mirror, as I was empting the bottle in my mouth, thinking this would be last night and my suffering would be over soon. To this day, I believe that JESUS placed HIS finger down my throat, to avoid my untimely departure. It just wasn’t my time yet, nor HIS TIME to send me to the grave. THANK YOU JESUS!!! I WILL NEVER ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE AGAIN!

In 1987, I returned back to my old job as a customs broker, that I had left 5 years earlier. My reputation had preceded me, and everyone in town seemed to know my life history; except for the suicide attempts. My drinking habit continued, and one of my fellow workers gave me the nickname, BIOM, (Bad Influence On Me). This handle was certainly well deserved and fitting, as I was starting to lead others down the wrong path. My walk was certainly not GOD’s path, and here I was leading others away from HIS path too.

Habakkuk 2:15
Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!
Habakkuk 2:14-16 (in Context)

After a year at the Fort Erie office, I requested a transfer to a Toronto office. I thought that I could hide from my past, and just lose myself in a population of 2 ½ million people, where no one would know my business, nor care. That plan might have worked, if the bottle, (satan), hadn’t followed me to Toronto. My transfer took me to the Toronto Airport office, and within a year, another transfer to the head office. Unfortunately, my identity could not be hid, because of my lottery winfall. Seemed like everyone at head office knew of me, and my past reputation, that I thought I had left behind me in Fort Erie. About a year later, I left the firm for a second time and pursued a career on my own, as a customs consultant in Toronto.

Well, the money was rolling in again, so I could satisfy my drinking and strip bar addiction again. I was such a good client at one of the strip bars, that they would drive me home at closing time in my car and have someone else follow, just to make sure I reached my destination safely. They wanted to be sure that I would be able to frequent their bar the next night.

I used to come home every night after drinking, and prayed that GOD would deliver me from my addictions. HE always guided me home safely; however, HIS voice had become silent to my soul. I started believing that JESUS had left my side, since I broke my vow with HIM a few years prior. HE delivered me back then; why had HE left me to drown in the bottle now? My daily drinking and daily praying went on for more that 10 years, with no salvation in sight. Why wouldn’t HE answer my cries for help now? I needed HIM in my life more than ever!

Psalm 13:1
How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
Psalm 13:1-3 (in Context)

As I mentioned earlier, GOD does not wear a watch; however, He knew that it was now time, for HIM to rescue me from my torments and sorrows. I was drowning and going down for the last time. By the GRACE OF GOD, HE reached HIS hand down to rescue me just in time. I had reached the bottom of the bottle, and had lost sight of HIM. On August 18th, 1996, HE broke HIS silence and answered my prayers. There was nothing lonelier, than walking this journey here on earth, without HIS hand or voice to guide me. I am finally free of bondage and have HIS Light to shine on my path again. I will never snuff that Light out; nor walk in darkness anymore! PRAISE GOD! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!

2 Samuel 22:29
For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.

Since that day, I read HIS WORD, (BIBLE) daily; and get on my knees to thank HIM for erasing my addictions/sins. HE can do the same for you, if you just call on HIM and trust HIM. HE is never too busy to listen! You could strike up a conversation/prayer, something like this:

JESUS, I know that I am a sinner and I have sinned against YOU; I ask that YOU will come into my life/heart, and take over the wheel; I submit my life to YOU and ask for YOUR forgiveness of my sins/addictions. Please direct me on the path that YOU would have me to follow!!!

When you pray, pray from your heart and not just from your lips. Don’t just pray when you’re in a valley, (when you are hurting or in need). Pray also when you’re on the top of the mountain, (when everything is going well in your life). Thank HIM always for HIS many wonderful blessings. When you have asked JESUS to take over the direction of your life; don’t allow HIM to walk in your shadow; follow HIM, and let JESUS lead you by the hand, and walk in HIS shadow. HE is the Light of the world and casts a big shadow; Never lose sight of HIS shadow; Carry HIS Cross; Read HIS WORD daily!

John 8:12
Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

Matthew 16:24
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Overcoming Drugs - Williams Story
Testimony of Former Drugs Dealer - Guy Iannello

AMEN, THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
John 8:36 (NKJ)

Hi, I’m Eric. On a lucky day in 1973, in Bremerton, Washington, I cost my parents five bucks when I came into the world. Being in the military does have its benefits, I guess.

My parents raised me in the way I should go, but sometimes we don’t all feel like going the way we’re told. In 1979, we moved up to Alaska, and we stayed there until 1989. Then, my parents decided to sell their house, and we moved to Vancouver, Washington.

In Vancouver, during high school, I decided that I didn’t want to be a Christian nerd anymore, and that I needed to party a little bit. So that’s what I began to do. Although I still attended church on a regular basis and participated in youth group activities, I led another, different life. I made lots of non-Christian friends, ignoring my father’s advice, “The friends you choose is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make.” My parents soon gave up trying to keep me in line, because I simply didn’t want to listen.

I dove right into the party world, living for myself. I started smoking, drinking, doing drugs, the whole bit. I didn’t want anything to do with Christianity anymore. There were too many questions that I simply couldn’t answer, and too much fun that I simply wanted to have.

I graduated high school in the top five percent of my class, with practically straight A’s. I started college in 1991, and started dating a non-Christian girl who dominated the next few years of my life. I either spent time with her, or I partied. One or the other.

I came close to death more than once. One night, all tweaked out on drugs, I was downtown Portland and a guy pulled a gun on me. I laughed at him. That’s how much I cared about life.

One night, after a long, crazy night up near Tacoma, Washington, my friend Tom and I cruised down the I-5 freeway toward Vancouver and a Cadillac rear-ended us and sped away. His 1979 Datsun B-210 flipped a bunch of times and ended up upside down on the median. We sustained minimal injuries. We could easily have had the windows open and had limbs fly out and get crushed. We could easily have ended up in the freeway instead of on the median. We weren’t even wearing our seatbelts. My dad picked us up from the hospital the next day and we went to look at the car. It really didn’t look like anyone could have survived. The back window fell out when we touched it. All four tires were popped. It stood only a few feet high. My dad told us that my mother had got up that night, in the middle of the night, to pray for us. God knew that we needed protection.

One day, I rear-ended a new Lincoln Continental that was at a dead standstill. My car was going around 40 miles per hour. I didn’t have my seatbelt on. I broke my windshield with my head. Yet I only sustained a minor cut to my chin (I have a hard head, as you will soon see).

One day, I did a back flip off a cliff into a river. After an eight foot fall, I came down head first and cracked right onto a rock that lay hidden just under the surface. It didn’t even faze me. I bled a little and just kept living.

The drugs didn’t satisfy me. The girls didn’t satisfy me. My friends didn’t satisfy me. My family didn’t satisfy me. Basically, I lived for number one and I lived to get wasted. But God still remained near. And I knew it. The promise from Scripture never left me. “Raise your child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it.” I knew that if God was true, and his promises sure, that His plan would supercede anything I desired, no matter how much I tried to run away. And believe me, I kept running.

My parents moved back to Alaska, in time, and so did my sister. I lived alone for the first time. Actually, I had lived alone for a while in an apartment and wasted about $7000 that I had received as settlement for the auto accident. But this time I felt that I was actually alone. I didn’t even have any relatives around. Now, I had to survive.

I moved in with Tom, and finally checked myself into a drug rehabilitation center. While in there, I received a note from a guy named Steve. I knew he had to be one of those Christian annoyances, but for some reason I called him anyway. He informed me that he had a place I could stay if I wanted to get away from the drugs and partying lifestyle. I thought about that, and finally said, “Why not?” I felt the end of my rope creeping nearer. Little did I know that the end of the rope was still afar off.

I moved in with Jim and Mark. New rules abounded. No drugs, no women, attend church, get a job, etc. I had to take care of the basics. I couldn’t really find a good job, because I had a terrible job history. I worked temporary jobs all the time. Every year I had at least 10 different employers. Jim and Mark bought my food, payed for my rent, gave me whatever I needed to live, and more. I hit some lady’s car and ran off in Jim’s car and he got his insurance cancelled. I smoked pot in the basement. I broke all the rules and took advantage of these nice people. And what started as a temporary living arrangement somehow turned into many months. Finally, we moved out of that place into an apartment. I lived there for a while, and then said, “Forget it.” I decided to drive up to Alaska in my truck and move in with my parents. I thought a new environment might help me with my problems. I smoked pot the entire way up to Alaska, and used my credit card that Jim had helped me pay off to finance the trip and the drugs. I got up there, and instead of trying to fix myself up, I immediately found the bums in town and maxed out my credit card with cash advances for drugs. One night, some “friends” and I went to the beach and drank a half-gallon of whiskey. On the way to the store, I wrecked the truck and broke the windshield with my forehead (again). I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt, of course. My dad and uncle bailed me out (in the middle of the night) and the cop, miraculously, let me go. They aren’t easy on drunk drivers in Alaska. My cousin almost got arrested for driving too slow. The cop thought she was drunk. In this particular instance, I was a stark raving lunatic. I couldn’t even walk or talk sensibly. I think my dad wanted to knock me out. Anyway, my “friends” stole my tent and other camping gear and left town. I decided to check myself in to a drug rehab program in Portland.

So, in Portland, I checked in and started living a clean life. This place didn’t mess around. The commitment was a year, and I lived with a bunch of other guys. I’ve never had so many rules in my life. I had to memorize scripture. I had to clean, and cook, and go to church, and man, did I get sick of being bossed around. They forced me to give up my girlfriend (the same one still) and I couldn’t take that. I quit the program so I could be with her. She wouldn’t have anything to do with me. No money, no truck, no job, no rehab . . . . I had nothing. To her, I was a failure. And she had me pegged. She drove me back to the rehab house and dropped me off. She left. They didn’t want me back. So I decided to just forget everyone. I lived on the streets for about two months. Hitchhiking around, bumming money, smoking pot, drinking whiskey or tequila or cheap beer, and going to bars defined my lifestyle. In order to get back into the program, I just had to keep attending church at their church. They had to know that I was making a serious commitment to the program and to changing my life. They finally let me back in with the requirements that I not see my girlfriend at all, and that my attitude improve. I lasted about two weeks and got booted out. Nobody wanted me now. Nobody.

I lugged all my stuff to the street corner and tried calling everyone I knew. Jim and Mark were my last resort. Of course, they took me in. Once again, they paid my rent, my credit card, my bills, and everything else. I continued to take advantage of them, being the self-centered person that I had become.

Finally, my long-time girlfriend cheated on me and dumped me and I started drinking and smoking pot in earnest. Every day, all the time. I became super-depressed, and happiness only came when I could get high or drunk. I can’t really even describe this part of my life. I had no job, not many friends, no church, and life just went on that way. The drinking and smoking and depression and loneliness and tiredness and emptiness just kept getting heavier and more intense.

Then one day, in the midst of it all, I met this delightful girl. It was Thanksgiving of 1997. I had nowhere to go so I went with Jim to his family get-together. His second cousin once removed or whatever you call it, was Don, and Don was a deacon in our church. So we went to this get-together, and being bored as usual with Christians, I decided to leave. But I had been playing cards with this most delightful girl, Don’s stepdaughter. I thought she looked quite appealing, so I called her the next night and asked her to dinner. She said, “NO.” Being used to rejection, I had to just shrug it off. Her excuse? She had to return to Corvallis the next day, to continue her education at OSU. For those of you not familiar with that place, well, their mascot is a beaver, if that tells you anything. Anyway, she said she would email me. And surprisingly enough, she did. We became good friends over the email, and soon she decided to come to Portland and attend PSU, where I planned on attending school.

In the midst of all this, I still kept on doing the bad things, while Jim and Mark continued to put up with me. Not only did they put up with me, but Jim encouraged my schooling, and he also funded it! Can you believe this guy? What was supposed to be a few day living arrangement had turned into what seemed like a lifelong commitment and investment (hopefully a good one) in me. Why? Because God wanted it that way. I sure didn’t deserve it.

Anyway, one day, while visiting my new love in Corvallis, I noticed some dark bruises on my legs. Weird, dark suckers. They scared me. The doctor checked me out and told me that my liver needed help. He said, “A few more years of this and you’ll be dead.” Right then and there I quit drinking. A few weeks later, a run-in with the cops scared me into quitting pot. So, at that one point in time, my life turned around. Jim’s investment finally started paying dividends. I quit everything cold turkey. The drugs, the drinking, the cigarettes . . . . everything. I started going to school. I got a job that I kept for the next two years. I started school full-time and graduated with honors earning a BA in English at Portland State. I married my sweetheart. Jim married us, and Mark agreed to be my best man. Tom agreed to be a groomsman. God decided to turn something nasty (me) into something nice.

So now, without bragging, I can safely say, beyond any shadow of any doubt, that Jesus Christ worked many miracles in my life. He saved me from death many times when I didn’t deserve it. He brought the people I needed into my life at the times I needed them. He healed my bruises. He took away my addictions. He gave me a wonderful wife that I couldn’t live without. And let me tell you, two people have never been better matched. He gave me a caring family. He gave me my mother and father, supportive Christian parents, and a supportive Christian sister. He gave me Jim and Mark, two selfless Jesus freaks. He gave me dear Christian parents-in-law. He gave me two genius Christian brothers-in-law. He kept me from going to prison. He funded my schooling. He fed me. He gave me the guitar I’ve always wanted. He gave me a nice apartment. He gave me a great church. He supplied the finances when I didn’t have them. He gave me the power to overcome. It’s impossible to run from God when you’re one of his. Jonah proved that to us. And I’ve proved it too. His Word says, “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it . . .” My friends, if you’ve ever even thought about following Jesus, then it’s already too late for you to turn back. If He starts a work in you, He will be faithful to complete it. Jesus lives and He heals! Praise be to God!

If you want to read more awesome testimonies of the love and power of Jesus Christ, visit the following site:

http://truthsaves.org/testimony/

You can also contact me by visiting the contact page at that site.

In His service,

Eric