Testimony Share

PLEASE HELP ME

My boyfriend broke up with me. I can’t handle this.

He said he wants to love God first
That before he fixes his relationship, he has to fix his life first with the Lord..
He’s excited about his journey God and he wants me to understand…
What’s really troubling me is he left me no clues as to where our love is leading.

I think he was sincere when he told me his reason..
I think God’s telling me to fix my life as well.

i think he is more of pursuing refinement in his life and a better relationship with God rather than ministry. Because we can be both in the ministry..
My heartache is that he closed all means of communication between us

you know, he started the breaking up idea on Friday, Feb 10. I already knew what he wanted but before the end of our conversation on Friday, he said he loves me and that he’s still my boyfriend.
Saturday morning, he’s as normal as before. he calls me honey and still says i love you..
but saturday night, he became so firm about the break up but assured me that the space he’s asking has nothing to do with the two of us It has something to do with his relationship with God, he said.
..He said that’s the help i could give him to give him space and time with the Lord..

some people suggested that we stop first the communication and let each other think. I think that’s what he followed.

I really love him that much.. And i want to see also what God is telling me in this situation..

I was full of hope that if I give him the time he wants, he would come to realize that we could still pursue our relationship while at the same time, following and serving God through our ministries. But just after a week of silence, he sent me a message that he does not love me anymore like before. There had been change in how he feels for me. He said that he might have explained it in a wrong way but part of his decision to just focus on God is for him to understand what caused him to have changes of feelings towards me. He also would like to know where God would direct him after this.

He told me not to expect anymore because the only thing he could offer now is friendship. He wants me to move forward.

No matter how I try to just accept it so that I’d not be hurt anymore, something’s telling me to still not give up on him. It’s because I am always reminded how God brought us to each other. It was a night when he was so sick that I laid my hand on his back and prayed for him. I was praying for healing but something struck me. I then whispered to God without understanding anything that I would love him. After my prayer, he vomitted so hard and became well as if he had not been sick at all. Since that day, without us knowing, God has planted in our hearts the love for each other. That was 4years ago.

He was still sweet to me days before the break up. In fact whenever i push him away, he’s the one who initiates reconciliation. He would always say that he loves me so much to lose me.

I am working in Thailand now and he’s in the Philippines. I have a certain feeling that he might have felt out of love because we’ve not been together. And he would always say that he misses me and he feels bad that sometimes I do not have time for him.. When he told he does not love me anymore, I couldn’t believe it because just 2 moths ago, we’ve been together in the Philippines when I went home for Christmas vacation. He was so sweet and so caring more than ever. I really felt how he loves me and how he missed me for the times we were not together.

This June, I’d be coming back to the Philippines. My decision for now is not to renew my contract in Thailand so that I could be with him and see if it could still work out. But the reason is not only that, I am also not happy anymore with my ministry here in Thailand. It felt like going to church is obligatory for me now and I don’t enjoy it anymore. I feel that going back to my home church would be best for me. I don’t want to serve God yet I am not happy. I am not blessed anymore with the people in the church. Actually, I feel closer to God in meditation rather than attending services. My home church in the Philippines is still the best place where I think I could grow in Christ. And there I enjoy doing a lot of ministries though the tasks in the Philippines are heavier than my tasks here. It’s the enjoyment of serving and the growth I can have in my home church that make me want to go back.

Now, I am torn between coming back for my boyfriend and home church, and the fact that I earn a lot here in Thailand. Actually, even when we’re still in the relationship, I already had bad feelings towards the church here. i am not growing anymore.

I have a lot things in my mind, also the reason why I couldn’t organize my thoughts well as I write here.

Anyway, to summarize it all, I want to seek advice regarding my boyfriend’s feelings, how should I act, how do I pray for this and my decision to finally settle in my home country and leave my work here. I still know that if God is calling me in Thailand, I could still go back when I want to. It’s just that I want to rest first in my own country to find joy once again in serving.

About 6 years ago, i had a terrifying experience yet also a powerful one. I want to share this story with you. I had a friend who was not a christian. I spoke to him about Christ. We spoke and I tried to convert him, yet it was unsuccessful. He told me he did not want to be a christian because of some tragic event that happened to him in the past. I had a feeling that he was not being honest but I couldn’t figure out the truth.

One night, we talked online, laughing and joking when all of a sudden, it felt as if he swallowed something bitter, his personality changed into a different being, an evil being, he became very hateful, angry, and violent. He laughed very sinisterly and loudly. I was shocked, frozen with fear, unable to move, I thought he was joking so I basically told him if he didn’t stop joking, I would do something humorous. He yelled he didn’t care and claimed he was Satan, he changed his profile picture to a picture of a demon. I was overwhelmed with a supernatural fear. I thought to myself “Maybe hes crazy, maybe he needs help.” I then reasoned to myself “I doubt it, I don’t think crazy people act like this, this fear is supernatural because im usually not afraid of people who act a little weird but what am I afraid of,?,this doesn’t make sense.”

I heard so much about demons, about witches and the powers of Satan. I heard that some have the power to read whats on your mind and I heard of a man who was possessed and became very strong yet the pastor and the witnesses of that room said that an invisible hand pushed him down when they prayed. I never imagined that i would ever encounter an evil spirit. I felt so weak, I trembled.

The evil spirit laughed wickedly in a voice that was not human and like some ugly and large creature, he mocked me and terrorized me. I tried to call my mom but my mouth was frozen, no one in my house could see me and i felt like no one could help me. I prayed to god “God help me.” I then heard a voice tell me “Hey, its me, don’t be afraid, I’m with you, I want you to command it to leave in the name of Jesus.” I was afraid. I told god “No, I’m not ready. I need to prepare, I need to be more consecrated.” He then told me “I will never let you face something that you won’t be able to bear. I will help you.”

I gained courage and told the evil spirit possessing my friend to leave in the name of Jesus, he laughed and yelled “Jesus is not lord!” and made vulgar remarks about me and Jesus. I kept rebuking and suddenly I was filled with the holy ghost and felt the courage to yell “Go away in the name of Jesus!” and quoted scriptures, he yelled blasphemies but then he just yelled as if he were burning. He told me to stop using the name of Jesus and finally he threatened to kill me but after I rebuked it one final time, it left along with my fear. My friend who was possessed, fell face down on his desk as he later told me and acted as if he were unconscious.

My year started out with a nightmare this year. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to the voice of God telling me to check my husbands phone. Upon doing so I found out that he had been living two lives for TWO years. We have been married almost 8 years and have 2 young children 4 and under. We dated 8 years before getting married (I saved myself for marriage, he did not).

Well, this morning brought destruction as it was revealed to me that not only did my “Christian husband” have an affair (and was currently in one) for TWO years both emotionally and sexually, but that they had conceived a child just a month after our second child was born over a year ago and they had aborted it. I looked through the call log on the phone and he was talking to her at least 20x per day. Here I am, a mother who sacrificed her career almost 4 years ago to stay home and raise our children and here he is off having a second life? My world tore apart. We have since begun seeing a Christian counselor and have separated, but I see NO remorse, just a simple “sorry.”

He wants to get back together but although I know I am commanded by God to forgive him, how do I ever “accept” the leftovers? He gave this woman EVERYTHING of him. There is NOTHING to give me he hasn’t give her (emotionally, physically, conceiving a child). All the while lying to me. I had even asked him several times these past two years about an affair and he said, “On the lives of our children I am NOT having an affair.” Even the night before I found out he said, “I would NEVER do anything to mess up what we have.” Then as I went to bed that night he went to his mistress on the phone (according to his call log). I just woke up during these wee hours of the morning crying before God “WHY? WHY?” I KNOW I serve a living God. I know I serve a God of MIRACLES, but the pain is SO much to bear…how do I survive? If I knew I could have my kids 100% I would just leave and say good riddance to him, but I want SO badly for 1) God to be glorified in my life and 2) for my children to come to know God as their personal Lord and Savior.

I feel so trapped. How do I heal? I am heavily in God’s word and still feel so much pain. Oh God take this pain! Hear my prayer, my cry for help. Rescue me from this hell. And all the while may YOU be glorified!!

Brothers and Sisters the Holy Spirit has spoken to my heart today. I am a spirit filled Christian who has been baptized by the Holy Spirit by the gift of tongues. It is a great gift but recently I’ve felt a bit depressed and and void. Strange because the LORD promises an abundant life so this does not come from GOD. I have been down and feelings unfortunately get in the way sometimes. The HOLY SPIRIT told me this is how a human without Jesus Christ feels and I wept because I knew that life without Christ is in vain. The apostole Paul said, to LIVE IS CHRIST AND TO DIE IS GAIN, of course to die is gain for those in Jesus Christ. Always ask God what your next mission is that way you know you are doing something for the kingdom of God especially winning souls for Christ the great comission because feeling this way is horrible but bearable in Christ Jesus. Please talk to God constantly and ask God what his daily will for your life is. Read the Word and pray without ceasing because you never know who you are going to talk about Christ with or when our LORD will come to take us home. He comes for a well kept bride constantly waiting for HIM and doing HIS will. Ask God for strength no matter your situation God can use you sometimes I find it difficult to fly around the world to preach the Gospel but God sent us back to our old poor community because we were living a better lifestyle for a reason. We lost our business and couldn’t afford our 4 bedroom luxury apartment. So we came back to a 3 bedroom apartment in a really bad neighborhood. But I know this is where God wants us, because they are patient when we can’t pay rent and a lot of people here need salvation.

I’m 19, and I have recently felt God grace mercy and love over my life, I just wanted to testify his greatness and the peace he has given me in my life. I got saved t the age of 14, I have been in a relationship with a 20 year old guy who had lied his whole way through the relationship I only found out after 6 months his real age, I was during my time of healing that I decided to give my life to God, when I felt his presence I was so much in owe of him, my life changed I was involved in church I was happy alone and by myself.

However my relationship with my parents was a hindrance to this growth, I had longed for a hug and a kiss from my mother or father  they provide everything to me finically, but there was still an emptiness that wasn’t filled, months passed but the emptiness remained , instead of talking to them about my feeling held alt of anger inside me, still loved God but I began to place my attention on other things, I was eager to find the perfect guy ad just after my 15th birthday , I met this guy, my although I was slowly backsliding, I kept my Christian morals, he was interested in me but I made him wait I wouldn’t let him touch or kiss me, I felt that it was more important that we get to know each other and become good friends before we stepped into a relationship , he was three years older than me and he assumed that I was a year younger than him, I felt that if I told him I hadn’t turned 16 he would be lose interest. I was very confused about who exactly I was and would do anything to get what I wanted. If I had thought about the seriousness of what I was doing I would have never done it … two months went by then three, he was so patient and very much eager to get to know who I am, he would spent hours waiting for me t finish school just so we could spend time getting deeper in conversation .. he knew God but wasn’t truly saved he admired the days I was in church and wanted to be more like me.

After three months of getting to know each other we decided to date .. All the memories of our time together were nothing but great, but after another month we slept together and for a few weeks everything seemed ok but think just headed down hill after that .. He soon came to discover that I lied and we broke up, he moved to another town but still talked here and there. After a month of being apart he decided that despite what I did he still wanted to be with me, this all happened in 2009, we had met in 2008… so I would go and see him once every two weeks because of the distance, the distance also awakened allot of insecurities inside me, I think after he found out that I lie to me he had no fully forgiven me because our relationship changed he no longer talked to me so much about how he felt about me, we no longer had those deep conversations we did before all we knew all I knew is that I loved him very much

To keep a long story short we where together for 5 years, last year in February I had a miscarriage and our families Got involved and allot of words were exchanged because even though w had been together for that amount of time our families had not been formally introduced and my father especially was disapproving of the relationship, I tried to commit suicide because I felt so low so down like I couldn’t go on. During this time my mother and father were having problems in their marriage, and a week after the miscarriage my dad left my mum for another women, my boyfriend at the time was so supportive he was there  for me the pain of my father leaving I leaned on him, every time I needed comfort or love expected it from him and he did a good job of it for a while, but he is only man he will fail me, our relationship became stressful and we started arguing time, over really small things, and this created tensions we loved each other so much but we couldn’t end it every time we got together we would argue and we tried to see where we were each going on, the time that we decided to give out relationship for two weeks was the time we were really happy for a long time, but we slept together again and went back to square one. Earlier this year he decided that he wanted our relationship to have God. And I was finally ready to give everything to God then one day out of nowhere he said he wants to break up, I pleaded with him to not end it that we have been through too much to break up, it is now a month since the break up.

That is when I decided to give my all to God, he should be my complete focus I have leaned on completely too give me strength and he has. His love never fails, even when I felt like wanted to die he was there every day I feel  better I feel stronger, but I’ve decided to serve God. My ex hasn’t even though we are not together I pray for him every day that  he may know God so that in his life he will be free from pain and hurt, we recently had a discussion he said he loves me and he would love to be with me in the future but I have changed and don’t want to have sex before marriage, that really hurt me but I don’t want to compromise my beliefs for him all I can do is pray for his life

Even though is know there is something better, someone better for me out there I have grown up with him, he was the love of my life and I  believe the pain will be healed in time, but I always wonder will God give us a second chance to do things the right way, when he first met me he wanted to relationship with God I had, I hope that in the future it’s me who can encourage him, I don’t know I’ve let go I’m ready for what God has but something in my head tells me not  to forget him, I have dreams about him and I married, visions of our wedding I don’t know if it’s my imagination or God revealing it to me through my dreams, all I’m trying to do is pray right now and focus on  growing in God  again, I’m not  sure if he is the one or not?

The other day I was on the way home on the city bus and received a phone call from a long time friend of mine and she asked me if I had received any pix from her and my response was no and was very curious so I asked why. She said, well don’t wanna upset you wich I know it will and I am very sorry but I have some news that I must tell you. So again very curious I asked what was going on. She said well I saw ur kids today and this is the reason for my phone call because I took pix of ur kids n have been trying to send them.

Well later on while sitting at the bus station I received the pictures which made me cry. I was in front of a bunch of strangers staring down at my phone crying my eyes out. But do you think I cared? Absolutely not. The reason for my story is because I know that God works in mysterious ways n this is how I know. My kids stay with their father n he is not letting me have any contact with them.

And just last week I was talking with my friend n she asked me if I had heard from my kids by any chance n once again my tears began to fall as I answered no that I don’t know if my kids r sick or even if they r doing ok. And I believe in my heart that this is a sign from God letting me know that my kids r fine and for me not to worry that he is watching over them as I asked him to do for me. I thank God every chance I get for him working his blessings.

It has been weeks since I’ve broken up with the person I’m convinced to be ‘the one’. I was so miserable due to him being the first and only guy I’ve ever actually loved in my whole life. I had ex’s and didn’t feel anything with them like I did with this guy. In fact he brought me closer to god.

I was born and raised a catholic but I chose to be an atheist. For the last 16 years, I’ve always been stubborn and difficult. Nothing or nobody could influence or change my mind once it’s set. I’ve never thought this guy could either, until a few weeks into the relationship I found myself looking into applying to OCAD, totally opposite from my life long dream of returning to Vancouver due to him wanting me to be close to him. I’ve also started trying to believe in god. I had some experiences with what my mom would consider miracles but I’ve yet to believe. Its not easy for me to suddenly turn back to god after those years.

If god has created a guy for me, it’s him. I prayed and prayed. I asked god why would he take a guy that actually made me turn back to him away. Could this possibly be his plan? Is there a reason behind this at all? I still have hopes that one day. Maybe… Just maybe…

I’m sharing this testimony in appreciation for what God did for me when I was 9.

On a beautiful sunny morning, I went to the river with my dad’s new wife on a bicycle. I got on the carriage holding two 25 litres gallon.
She rode as we departed. Soon we got to the valley that slopes down towards the main bridge. It’s a motor expressway,cars and trucks where all travelling to and fro.

Off we went sloping down at a high speed, a woman was in front sloping down slowly on her bicycle.We tried to overtake her coz our bicycle had no brakes, suddenly my dad’s wife fell off the bicycle and I was left alone on the carriage sloping down with the 2 gallons on my right and left. People screamed. Cars were moving to and fro. I just could’nt remember how the bicycle stopped at the middle of the bridge. I found myself on the ground with cars coming from both sides of the valley. I was’nt hit by a car or truck. We just had bruises on our body.
I really want to thank God for this great miracle. Indeed I’m inscribed on the palm of his hands.

I don’t know about anyone else I can only speak for myself, but I find I’m most tempted especially sexuallym if I take a mid day nap in my room. That’s when those fiery darts come at me the most. I was curious if anyone else can attest to this or if there were times in your lives when you find yourself at your weakest. I no longer take naps in the afternoon, becuase that’s when my guard is down and I tend to give in to things like mastrubation which leaves me feeling dirty and horrible  everytime!

i really need Gods favour regarding my exam result. I’m meeting the lecturers and i need God to help me find favour in the sight i really need it. This is really disappointing after putting every effort in the exam and i came out with bad grade. i just want God to answer my prayer give me this one chance and the strength to carry on with the rest