February 23rd, 2013
This past 2 months I have had two very severe panic attacks. I live in constant fear that I am going to die of sickness. After my last panic attack, I have not been myself, I have this gastro infection (at least that’s what the doctor says). I have to eat certain meals only, I also got this red spot which came on my left hand wrist though it later went away now I saw another red spot on my right hand. I live alone and so I leave in constant fear and loneliness.
I am a student and my mum sends a lot to make sure I am okay…but of late I am unable to read, I feel weak a lot, I think too much. One thing I know is that God is seeing me. I pray this few days often but I pray in fear so. I don’t think God hears me. Im also getting an itching body. I do not want to be sick, or depressed or anything negative in my life anymore. That’s basically what I want from God.
I developed these panic attacks after I had sex with my former girl friend then all of a sudden realised that she might have an STD or something worse…this was my first time to commit fornication and also my last… I know what I did was wrong, and I am glad I realised it was wrong. I have prayed to God for forgiveness. But I also want God to heal me if something unwanted has entered my system, I want God to heal me before I any realisation is found. Please help me and intercede on my behalf also. I am supposed to be the responsible one in my home. I know that when so many pray on my behalf, my prayers would be answered faster. Thank you.