Testimony Share

God is amazing and good. He doesn’t want us to allow our circumstances to overwhelm us. Was raised in an abusive background, told it was normal cuz we were african american, never questioned the abuse. Alcholism, domestic violence and verbal abuse. I thought it was how most people my age grew up. Struggled with violent family members, but now that I am older realize that God is my hiding place. Family who threatened me, my life and my other family members haunt me. Constant choas in the home, made me emotionally unstable, prone to depression and violent tendencies. Became addicted to pornography at the age of 8, because of distant relationship with parents. Felt like I had a hole in my heart from the constant fighting bickering, and verbal attacks on me. one parent would abuse the other, then they would verbally abuse me. tell me my talents were no good, and i was worthless. Stupid, you name it. pretty messed up situation. Became pretty promiscious in middle and high school due to the over exposure to pornography. Pretty messed up. dated alot of guys, had broken relationships, but went to school, had alot of money. Almost ended up in prison. Moved away from home, then when got around old people, lost job and children and wasn’t able to have a child or a marriage. could keep a just. almost got into trouble with the law. Was suicidal and wanted to kill myself. Wouldn’t do it because was my mom’s only child and she had been so abused. Couldn’t do that. in the midst of all the drama, I was a muslim, but later became a christian. God is healing my heart and hurts, delivering from the need to be married,(cuz i had a broken engagement) Became an artist and writer, still waiting on the LORD. God is good, I am not dead, in jail or crazy. I give Him all the praise. learning how to forgive family that abused me, for losing my children and even the husband I had wanted. Thanking God for blocking disasters from happening to me and a bad marriage. PS 91, He has angels watching over me and healing my heart. Amen. Give praise to God for the wonderful things He has done.

A  year ago today I posted an article “heartbreak.” Today I have a different testimony. I got married six days ago to the most amazing man. He and I have known each other since I was 12 years old and in 2003 we dated for over a year and again we did so in 2006. However we could never overcome the physical distance, him being in Jamaica and me in Canada. Well this year we decided that no distance can stop our love. The bible says love endures all things and we believe in the love God has placed in both our hearts for each other.  When my relationship ended almost two years ago with my ex I thought I would never get over it. I was in so much pain I couldn’t see past it. Today I am happier than I have ever been.  This experience has taught me that when you truly commit it all to God, you truly commit your live into His hands and you allow Him to direct your path you will see the fruit of His love.  So to everyone out there who read my story ”heart break” I am here to say that a year later my pain is no more, in fact I have never had so much joy.

HI IM 26 ILL BE 27 IN A FEW MONTHS IVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH & IVE SEEKED GOD S MUCH BUT I STILL FEEL SO ALONE ! I PRAY ALL THE TIME FOR GOD TO LEAD ME IM SO DIFFERENT FROM MY FAMILY BARELY TALK TO THEM HAVE NO FRIENDS HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT IM TOO LONELY TO LEAVE HIM HE MAY NOT BE THE BEST ONE FOR ME . I WISH I COULD GIVE YOUALL MORE DETAIL BUT ITD TAKE REALLY LONG. TO SUM IT UP I JUST NEED HELP I FEEL DUMB I CANT SOCIALIZE IVE TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE LIKE I BEG GOD TO SHOW ME N LEAD ME I WANT TO DO RITE MOST PPL MY AGE COULD CARE LESS I FEEL I DO BUT IM NEVER HAPPY WITH NO CONFIDENCE . CAN SOMENE HELP WITH ADVICE IT HURTS SO BAD ITS SO MUCH Y WNT GOD SHOW ME SOME TYPE OF GRACE ?? WHEN I BEG HIM I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL N HAPPY AND WANT GODS WILL FOR MY .LIFE BUT IM JUST SO STUCK IDONT EVEN KNOW IF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE BUT GOD LEAD ME TO THIS SITE HOPEFULLY ILL GET SME HELP & INSIGHT PLEAASSE GOD I NEEEDD U THIS IS WHAT I SAY ALL THE TIME I JUST FEEL SO STUPID AND ALONE

January 1, 2009.

Age matters to most people in the world. It’s become a popular invitation to break ups and make ups. Prayer during these times is like a medicine.On January 1, 2009, I found my first love. I remember it clearly.

We were at a church celebration for the New Year and he asked me to talk. (By the way, his name is Nathan.) He rambled off about how love is not a feeling; it’s a choice and about relationships. I really didn’t know where he was going with it and in the end; all I got from it was that relationships are based on time alone, whether you know your spouse is going to complete you spiritually or not.

When I got home, I got on the computer; it was, I think, 12:30 a.m. I checked my myspace messages and there was a message from Nathan. The funny thing is, all I can remember from the message was the he liked me. At the time, I was in like with someone else, but I could just feel this intense feeling go through my body. I had no clue what it was, but it felt good. He asked me if I liked him and I answered, yes.

What was going through my head? I cannot say, but I was just amazed and shocked to know that he liked me. Wow, and that’s how it all began. After a couple of days/ weeks of getting to know Nathan better, he asked me out. Of course I said yes, but inside me, I felt this guilt of “cheating” on the guy I use to like. So unfortunately, I broke up with Nathan. I had explained to him why we couldn’t be together.

After a couple of weeks, I started having stronger feelings for Nathan. I told him that I just wanted to talk to him, not date or anything. And then after a couple of weeks, I had that guilt feeling again and again. You can say that our “relationship” wasn’t stable because of my feelings. I didn’t know who to choose. I mean, they were both great guys. In the end, I chose Nathan. Nathan and I had talked to the other guy, and it was fine…so Nathan and I started talking again.

About 3 months later, in May, Nathan came to one of my choir concerts. There, he asked me out. His exact words were, “Would you like to be my special one?” Haha…I have to laugh, it’s quite funny, but it’s adorable. Mmm, and yes was my answer indeed. We went out for a month, A MONTH. Want to know why? We only dated a month because of me. I kissed my brothers friend.

Minutes after cheating on Nathan, Nathan called me. For some reason, I didn’t think about him at all, I was thinking about me. I was all happy and bubbly while talking to him, and I broke it off on the phone. How horrible is that? Well, anyways, after we had broken up, I went back to my brother’s friend and he was just like, “want to make out?” We never did, but it was intended.

Later that night, I prayed to God, asking Him what I had done wrong. After, I called Nathan right back. It was good to hear his voice, but at the same time, guilt was torturing me, inside and out. I remember, he asked me if I was sad and he was just comforting me. At the time, I hadn’t even confessed to him what I had done. It didn’t even matter to me at the moment; only his voice mattered.

Months past, to be exact, 8 months have passed and here I am, writing about everything that happened in our little “relationship.” (It’s the month of December.) It hurts to know that I did something so horrible to a guy so amazing. Mmm, but like I said, age matters. HEY! I’m only 14 years old right now. Guess how old Nathan is? He’s 17 years old. Age matters in so many ways. The maturity level and the spiritual walk level are so much better when you’re older. I guess that’s why Nathan cared so much and comforted me so much when all I did was hurt him. Right now, I wish Nathan and I were together. It’s as if we never knew each other; we’ve never met. I still believe that our little “love story” that we had is still going, he just hasn’t realized it yet.

In these times, God was there for me. He let me know that everything was okay. I cried myself to sleep for months, I even cut my wrists, and tried to commit suicide, but no, God let me know that it wasn’t okay. He was there when I did those things, He watched over me, and He was there to say that no matter what I do to hurt myself, He’ll heal it. God is oh so powerful. His love for us is amazing. Even in hard times like this, or even harder, He’ll be there! Nothing can be impossible if you have God.
In all, God is the only Love I need right now,
Sara

Hi! I just came out of a training in the School of the Holy Spirit. The reason I am writing this short testimony is because I want to give our Lord Jesus Christ praise for how He delivered me from sin.
I write it also in the hope that you will not fall into similar tricks of the enemy.

I have been saved 15 years ago. I love the Lord tremendously for He saved me from great despair then.
I read the Bible and I talk to Him and I obey and trust in Him by the power of His Spirit living in me.

I love evangelism. I love to tell others about Jesus and about how He saved me and about how He worked in my life, you know, to give our Lord praise due to His Name.

In the course of my work, I meet lots of people. And because I am a people’s person, I love people and I love to tell them about Jesus so that they too can have salvation like me.

Sometimes my married life is not happy, for my husband is still growing in the area of kindness to me.

In the course of my work late last year, I came to know the husband of a lady friend.

What started as a harmless fellowship human hug from me to him, little did I know the ball started rolling.

Of course, I knew that my Lord is not happy with the day by day progress of things, but I couldn’t get out, for I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I was miserable and happy at the same time for he gave me that kindness I desired.

To cut the story short, I wanted to be delivered from this sin.

And Halleluia, the Lord is faithful, at our Church Camp, He came in His Mighty Power, seeing and hearing the cry of my heart, He cast out all the demons in me.

At first, I thought it will be difficult to not carry on the way it got to…but then God is faithful and gracious…He thought me to abide in Him, and now I don’t do sinful things with this man anymore.

I continue to abide in His Word daily that’s where my strength comes from.

Now I have learned a great lesson–no more friendliness with a person of another sex.

I don’t want to be ever tortured by the demons again. Believe me, it was very torturous to my soul throughout, especially when I was being delivered.

God be praised.

Also, it was difficult to tell anyone the problem.

I praise God for He sent a new Christian woman into my midst, and I felt I could tell her a little of my problem. We prayed together. I abided in the Lord in His Presence and in His Word, asking for mercy and I repented of my sin, that’s when the start of the deliverance came.

So I urge you never keep some sin covered, for then the demons have a great time of building their death nest in you more and more. Cry out to the Lord, and He will send someone to help you.

Thank You Lord for delivering me.

Lord You are my soul’s rest and fulfillment. Thank you for helping me.

I am a Christian who has been living a life of homosexual sin.  I come from a family of God fearing people who would be extremely disappointed if they ever knew.  I have been in an off and on relationship for the past 3 years.  I am 27 years old and I have been through my fair share of relationships but I have never felt the love I have for this one individual.  It has been amazing and filled with memories that will last forever.  However, I have always had extreme guilt. 

Sitting in church and hearing just the right song would have me in tears for the guilt of my sin.  I always tried to justify it.  “God, we love each other…God, we will serve you forever…etc.”  But the guilt never left.  I wasn’t able to get close to God because I knew there was a barrier that kept me from fully having a relationship with Him.  I even had talks with my partner about how guilty I felt and we both justified it by saying, “Everyone sins…no sin is worse than another…people cuss everyday with no intention of stopping and they aren’t going to hell…our sin isn’t worse than cussing…etc.”  All the justifications never gave me a peaceful feeling. 

My partner actually broke up with me last year and I was devastated, begged for a second chance, and get this…even prayed for God to bring the relationship back together.  During the breakup I entered a heterosexual relationship that left me feeling even more empty because it wasn’t what I wanted and I felt even more helpless.  I prayed for God to make me enjoy the relationship…so that I could be free from heartbreak and homosexuality.  Needless to say my ex and I got back together and I was on top of the world again.  Until I felt the guilt again, and even more so this time was the regret that one day I would not have the happy family that I have always dreamed of…marriage, children, dog, etc.   I prayed to God to help me live out His will…and low and behold my ex broke up with me again 3 months after reconciling (definitely God working), stating it was for good this time and that we will both be better as just friends. 

So now, here I am heartbroken…I have been throwing myself in the Word, and reading how awful homosexuality is and that I am actually lucky that I was brought up well enough in the church to know right from wrong to establish a conscience.  I have prayed for peace in my heart and for my relationship with God to replace the sinful relationship I had and to hold strong above all relationships.  Although I can feel God’s hand on me right now, it is still hard to deal with memories daily and how I miss my partner.   I am not going to pursue the relationship again, and that is hard for me to do as well.   Instead I am focusing on leaning on God and letting His will be done in my life.   I do know that it was love…a strong love, however unhealthy it may have been…and the idea of letting go of something so great in my mind is hard.  Faith and Hope are what I will need to hold strong to and realize that God’s plan is in effect and I should be overjoyed about it…but I can’t help but ache right now. 

I guess what I need is advice  and prayers on where to go from here.  Also, I feel I should say that I am not one of those “in your face with my relationship” people.  I don’t agree with same sex marriage and public display of affection never took place in my relationship.  In fact, as strange as this may be…I am disgusted when I see same sex couples displaying public affection.  I was simply a person in love with another person who happened to be same sex, and all the while wishing that one of us was the other gender. Please help. :/

I have known God since I was a 11 years old. I have always been a strong minded person who always knew that God would do something with me one day but little did I know the kind of prayer that I was praying all those years ago.

I am a graduate and always knew that I was special. I have never been ashamed about loving God so much. And sometimes that is the key to some basic doors opening for you. I had the privelage of getting a visa from UK to USA to start working. All this while I always had God in my life because you dont get what you have by yourself. If God says he want to bless you he will. So I was making my money, living the single life and having fun but still worshipping God. Then I came home to Africa to visit my parents. That was it. The devil had something planned for me that I had no clue about.

It was in January 2004 when I met someone who wanted to marry me. I knew that I was getting older but I was very smart about men and their tricks. But for some reason this guy seemed real and loved me dearly. I was impressed by how quickly he learned from me. I never intended to marry someone who was not on the same educational backgound as myself. I was more advanced than him in everything, even speaking english. I believed in what some of the old aunties in my house would say that you make a man what you want. You polish them up. At the time I thought it was a silly saying, but before I knew it I was helping this boy become a man.

Time went by, I did everything  for this man, from send him money while in America, send him travelling, help his family, even have  a baby for him. What I did not know was that when I was praying  God use me did I know what he was going to do ? I left America and gave up my apartment, my two cars, my job to come to Africa and live here. Then God said it was time.

When I got here, that man called “husband” was not quite the person that I thought. He used me, he had children I never knew about, he was abusive, he used all my money and made me live like a poorper. It was such a shock that I nearly had a nervous breakdown and a mental breakdown. I went from having money to having nothing.  And to add icing to the cake he was a womaniser. And I never saw anything. And more to the cake was that he was not a believer at all. So all the secrets came out and I was shocked.

What is my testimony, its too big for words and only God knows the testimony of what I went through. But I want to encourage anyone who says to God use me, that keep praying that prayer. But be ready to go through something. I know what I went through and I know that I can council anyone with all kinds of situtions and I am so grateful to God.

God laid it on heart to start an NGO which will allow me to minister to all kinds of people on a global level. But I am in a bad sitaution. I am still in Africa even what to eat is a problem. I have lost all my money and I dont even have any money to register it and start the NGO. My life is totally horrible, but I know that God will see me through and he has promised that he will make away in the wilderness.

I hope that I have touched somone with this testimony. God Bless you and keep hope and faith alive.

Miss P

Hi, I am wondering if any of you can help me understand this. Maybe God, will prompt someone with what this means.

I had a dream about someone I was in a relationship with. It did not end well, and the person was turning to satanism, porno web sites and so forth. I had started doing warfare prayers at night before going to bed. Even while I was with the person I rarely had dreams about anything related to us.
In the dream I was in a house, what they call Dutch Colonial here. It was not terribly run down, nor elaborately furnished. There was an enclosed porch attached to the house. Also part of the architecture that is common here. It was winter so the front door leading to the porch was closed. I was wandering around the house. I met a woman who was in the house. She seemed quiet, but sneaky, I was “sweet” to her, and complimented her. She simply smiled with her eyes downcast. Before all of this happened, somehow after I was in the house, don’t recall myself walking in actually, a number of beautiful, but vicious wolves attacked the door. They could not get in and attack me, and even though I was alarmed, I started wondering around the house. It was when I came across the woman, who was in what appeared to be the kitchen. I knew she was involved with my ex, and I also felt leary of her. I was afraid, and knew my ex would show up. He did, I did not actually see him walk in the door, but suddenly he was there, and looking at me with extreme hatred and contempt.

A Christian friend said the dream was probably warning me to stay away from him. I have no contact with him. I sensed a lot of witchcraft, and occult, demonic spiritual warfare when I was with him. Specifically aimed at breaking us up. People around him hated us being together. He was not honest either. I sense that what I got from the dream was related to continuing warfare, and spiritual attacks being aimed at me, and the demons where mad because I was praying at night before going to bed. Any insight anyone has would be appreciated. God bless. Asia

So, about a year ago I was driving home from college and I was a having an incredibly intimate time praising the Lord. I was also listening to a prophecy tape that my church recorded at my high school graduation presbytery. All of a sudden in during my praises and prayers, I felt that Jesus had jumped in the car with me and we began having a simple dialogue about all walks of my life at the time.  I eventually wanted to ask Him about my future wife and He told me her name is Rebecca. Also that we would have 8 kids! Ever since then I’ve been waiting to meet a significant Rebecca at my university or on facebook through my large network of Christian friends.

Recently I have discovered a Becca amongst mutual friends but I’m terrified of meeting her and ruining the relationship that hasn’t started yet. Anytime I suspect she will be at an event I’m attending, I shy into a corner or don’t show up at all. I don’t want to alter the situation or go ahead of God’s timing. Hopefully, like the story of Isaac and Rebekah in the book of Genesis, she will just show up while I’m worshipping in a field or something.

I plan to just grow personally with the Lord right now while I have no distractions, but I feel anxious and doubtful at the same time. Faith and prayer are all that I can stand on, and I guess His provision is always better than anything I can strive for.

Is it safe to tell my friends and peers? What if it doesn’t come true? Anyone ever heard of this type of spouse revelation/prophecy? Advice or encouragement?

i am only 16. about a year ago i met a girl at a cancer benefit. sooner or later we were going out. things were greattt and i believe she was my first love. but we were together over summer and when school came along i had too much pressure to deal with and she was pushing more serious with me and i believed i couldnt take it. I thought i was over her and was wrong. she told me theres a new guy and i am crushed. she did say though, after later telling her some of my feelings that in the future she thinks its possible we could get back together. and i would really want this. but now shes all head over heals for this boy and he just asked her to prom. thing is shes a junior and hes a senior hes leaving to college and she knows that it may not work out. my pain is so tough and im looking for answers in god. where do i go from here? i am praying for strength as well as a guidance. but i really wanna be with her. what should i do and how does god help me?