Testimony Share

As children we think life is so hard, but it isn’t until adulthood that we
find out that the things of life get much harder. My name is Jennifer Zornes, I go by “Jenny” to most people, though. I was raised in a little place called Greenup, Ky. I had the most wonderful parents in the world, at least I think so anyway. Nothing could prepare me for what was to happen in my life.
All throughout my childhood my parents took me and my three older sisters to church every Sunday like clockwork. It never failed I would wake up early Sunday morning to the smell of biscuits and gravy. I would then have to go through the morning routine of bathing and getting dressed. At 9 o’clock it was out the door and off to the church.
I believed in God and everything that the Bible said or at least the ten commandments. I had listened to the preacher, most of the time. When I started getting a little older my dad started telling me that I needed to be saved, but I thought I go to church and I do what I’m told, so what else was I supposed to do. My dad explained to me that I had to ask God into my heart and ask for forgiveness for everything in my life. I was scared out of my mind, but I did it. From that point on no matter what I did I thought that I was still saved. However, I had been hiding a secret. One that would change my life forever. I was a lesbian.

When I was 15 years old I told my mother and father that I was homosexual. Oh my, the reaction I got. My parents were heartbroken. Understand I would never do anything to make my parents upset with me. I loved them both so much. They had supported me in everything, but this was different. They, then, told me that homosexuality was a sin. I hadn’t been told that before. Things like that was never talked about. I was so confused and started to realize no matter how much church I had went to, it didn’t matter I wasn’t going to heaven. I went on with my lifestyle anyway.

I spent the next few years partying and doing things I had never done before. But, as I got older I felt that there was just something missing. I had no idea what it could be. I was in and out of relationships, thinking that maybe I just hadn’t found the right person. But, I soon found out that wasn’t the problem.
I had just came out of a horrible relationship, so I decided to move in with my sister. I started going back to church and went back to the altar. That desire was still there though. Then, I got with my sisters best friend. I had been in love with her since I was a child. During this I was still attending church and trying to hide my sexuality. Satan had a tight grip on me and he wasn’t letting me go. I started to get another feeling that I had tried my whole life to ignore, I was supposed to be a man. So, I throw myself one step closer to the pits of Hell and go to a endocrinologist to start testosterone shots to alter my sex. During this I was still saved or so I thought.

A few weeks later my girlfriend, at the time, wanted me to go to her sisters church with her. So, I did thinking that I would go in and come out feeling the same way that I had always felt. When I walked into that church I felt the presence of God. The people were so friendly. You could just see that all of these people were filled with Gods love. I felt like I could be myself around all of them. So I made that church my new home. A few weeks later revival started. I felt God knocking at my heart in a way I had never felt before. I went up to that altar and that’s when I turned everything over to God. When I went back to my seat the pastor asked if anyone had a testimony, I stood up not knowing what I was going to say. I opened my mouth and said,”I have been going to a doctor to change my gender, but I am not going to go through with it anymore.” I thought what did I just say that was not what I wanted, but I thought if it was God that wanted me to say that I would just see what he had in store for me.

My ex-girlfriend and I decided that we could not be together any more sexually. We continued to live together, but as far as physical relationship there was none. We knew that a sexual or lustful relationship would not be pleasing to God. When I gave it all over to God that’s when it happened. God called me out. He put a calling on my heart so strong I couldn’t push it away. He was wanting me to minister to others. The fear was intense, but I knew that if anyone could bring me through it, it was him. I kept praying that God give me a sign to let me know that is what he really wants from me. On one Wednesday, while at a bible study, they were talking about the fact that when God calls you to minister that’s what you need to do. I felt a relief come across me. That was my conformation.

A few months ago the pastor and his wife asked me if I would give my testimony at a Women Ministry that we were having at the church. I told them that I felt God calling me to minister to others. It was like God was using this testimony to start off my ministry. I was so nervous, but I got up and gave my testimony. I looked around and almost every woman in the building was crying. It made me feel like my testimony was touching people.

Even though the things that mislead my life may not be what has a hold on someone others life, I still must let people know that the love of God can fix anything. By your testimony you will be known. God can help you overcome anything. A relationship with Jesus Christ is much more important than anything in this life.

Note: I am 16. This is a testimony I shared at a Christian Easter camp in April 2012. I call it the cruise as it was a week of sailing. This was my third time on the cruise, and I was given the opportunity to share what God had done in me through it.

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Before the 2011 cruise, I was in a very bad place, and most of it stemmed from my relationship with my mother – or lack of. My feelings for her swung between hatred and complete apathy. I would avoid her, and if I had to talk with her I’d go out of my way to wind her up and put her down. If she complemented something of mine, I changed it. If I was in a play, she wouldn’t be invited to watch. It got to the point where, since she had a relationship with God, I didn’t want one. I knew He existed and loved me, but when I looked to Him all I could see was a link to her.

I stared self-harming as another way to rebel. Well, that’s what I told myself: it was also because I was hurting, deeply, inside. I didn’t know how to cope without God and without Mum, and I certainly wasn’t about to ask Mum for help, or a referral to a counsellor. Some part of me was still crying out, though, still fighting for a relationship.

That’s a bit of background. It’s still really hard for me to talk about. Anyway.

So I came on last year’s cruise and it was great fun, but for the first few days I still had my “wall” up, the fake, good, happy self I let other people see. The one that meant I didn’t have to get engaged with people, get hurt by people. I tried to keep it up between myself and God, too. Let me tell you now: that doesn’t ever work, for God knows our hearts and He will reach us where we’re at. But I’m getting off-topic.

It was Communion on Wednesday evening. And I don’t know how or why, but I began to reach out to God and let my wall down. I desperately, desperately wanted a relationship with Him, and He answered. He didn’t hate me for how I’d rejected Him. He loved me and rejoiced that I was beginning to come back.

He didn’t tell me everything was suddenly going to be perfect, either, because my old feelings of hatred and rejection weren’t going down easily. In the end I had to tell myself I’d build my wall again when the week was over; only after the feelings thought they were coming back was I able to push them away.

Am I glad that God came that evening! Without that breaking of my barriers, I wouldn’t have been able to let God work the next night. That Thursday during the talk, there was a focus on letting in the Holy Spirit to do his stuff, and on praying that he’d be with us when we went home. And the thing that the Spirit put in my heart was my relationship with my mother.

I was scared. The Bible says that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but I was terrified! I had forgotten how to have a good relationship with Mum. I didn’t know what it felt like to love her. I was afraid of the new territory opening up in from of me, and several times I wanted to back out. But the more I looked to God, the more I was able to know that He would help me and be with me. I was the Earth and he was the Sun, and there was his horrible black moon of hate that kept getting in the way. God was promising to remove it, destroy it, but I kept clinging on. I liked that part of me at the same time as wanting it gone forever. It was all I knew by this time.

However, I was not created to hate. No human is. I prayed with two separate leaders that night. I prayed for the ability to release the hurt. To let go.

And God granted that prayer.

At the end of the cruise, I had something I hadn’t had for months: I had a relationship with my saviour. And I had the promise that things were going to get better. I didn’t know what was going to happen when I got home. I had no idea what things were going to be like. But I was certain that this was right, and the Spirit was with me for every step.

I had the promise that things were going to get better. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, that old habits die hard, that by wall would try to rebuild itself. But I wasn’t going to let it. God wasn’t going to let it. It would be painful to build a relationship with Mum, but it was possible.

When Mum picked me up from the train station, I gave her a hug.

Now I’m helpful about the house. I seek out time to be with my mother, and I also give her space when she needs it. I do things because she’ll like them. She’s gone through a lot of stuff, and I admire her. She isn’t weak, and she deserves better than the resentment I had previously given her. I respect her and love her, though that has only been possible through God’s help. I have a relationship with her and with Jesus.

Things haven’t always been easy, but they have gotten better. And with this has come another gift, unlooked for but gladly received.

I’ve been free of self harm for over a year now. And it’s great.

First start off with, God is good and forever will be. All is His and He will forever reign Amen.

I was surely under the devils control. Once in a while I would have the urge to look up porn and masturbate. It became more like an everyday thing. The crazy thing about it is that I knew what I was doing was bad and definitely sinful in the eyes of the Lord. whenever I wold be finish, I felt this great amount of guilt inside me. There was an extreme battle going on within  me that The Lord my God wanted me to win. I certiamly knew that God wanted me to stop and save me because one time as I was doing it, a voice inside me constanltly told me, what you’re doing is a sin. It is a sin. Stop”. I figured to myself that it was just myself talking and ignored it. This problem became a very troyblesome thing to me that I decided to stop and try to win God back into my life. That I knew that He wanted His son[me] back. I prayed constantly asking and crying for help. PLease God help me. Help me stop what the devil is having me do. And I must say, never give up praying my brothers and sisters. He is listening and will always take care of you. All you have to do is accept Him as Lord and savior. He loves both you and me that He is will to help us overcome all odds. So, one night I prayed tremendously and I believe that God had had enough of my suffereing. That night as I was sleeping, in the middle of the night, I suddenly woke up and couldnt talk. A certain type of fear and restriction came over me. I was awake and looking straight up to the ceiling but I couldn’t talk nor open my mouth. Then a constant talking inside me repeatdly said “pray”. I just prayed the whole night and then all I know it was morning. I woke up in the morning and it was like a new me inside. The urge of that sexual feeling to look at porn was gone. I would not think of it nor would I accept it. Since then I have been thanking God and till now I still do. My brothers and sisters, let me say that when you pray and it just seems like you are not being answered, doesnt mean He isnt listening or is not caring. God really loves you and cares for you like a father caring for his child. You are His child and He wont ever let you go. Give Him a chance to love you and believe that He will prevail over any obstacle for you. All He asks is for you to love and believe in Him. May the Lord our God richly bless you and heal you from what you are going through. Pray for His mercy. Pray for His love. Pray for His Care. God bless you! I hope one day we meet where He says we will all meet. Thank you for reading. I will also pray for you.

The touch of God is something impossible to explain,
But when it happens you know it’s Him, because you’ll never be the same.
For a long time I became very blind-
Blind to the sinful life and lies that tortured my mind.
I couldn’t sleep at night,
Everyday became an internal fight-
A fight to find a purpose for my life,
A fight to stop reaching for a bottle and knife.
Who would’ve ever thought that something like this could happen?
Then again, how could anyone know? I wouldn’t let anybody in.
When I was fifteen years old,
God burned a desire in my heart that would require me to be bold.
It was and is a desire to sing,
Because what great joy to God it will always bring.
There’s nothing I’d love to do more,
Than lead people into the presence of Jesus, the One I adore!
There is such a connection i feel,
When worshiping the only God that’s real.
Now I see why Satan tried to take me out,
And fill my mind with nothing but lies and doubt-
Because Jesus and Satan are their own team,
And there’s nothing the enemy loves to do more than take people out before they realize they have been redeemed.
Satan HATES seeing anyone w/the Holy Spirit fire,
Because its our souls even he desires.
I now see why he wanted mine so bad,
Because he knows how dangerous I am for God, and THAT makes me glad.
Minus the details of the negative attack,
The most important thing to share is the love that will never lack.
The love of JESUS CHRIST!! My very best friend-
The One who said “Alaina, it is not time for your life to end..”
“Stop trying to live to please everyone else, and just simply live to please Me.”
“Because when you do, people will look at you and it will be My love through you that they’ll see.”
Hearing those words broke me in the middle of the day,
And that’s when I knew Jesus was and is thee ONLY way!
On October 16, 2011, the Holy Spirit came upon me..
And to anyone who has Him boxed up and kept in “Bible Days” needs to open their eyes to see,
That the God their keeping in a box
Has healed me completely inside and out, and He will answer the door to ANYONE who simply knocks.
The spirit of religion will keep people content and feeling good enough to get by-
But the God I serve, the same God in the Bible, deserves so much more! and thats why its Him who I rely.
Because without Him-without God, our next heart beat, our next breath, is not gaurenteed!
It’s time we take a stand and let the God of the universe lead!
My prayer is that one day God will open all eyes!
And help people realize,
Help them realize the reality of who HE is before its too late,
Too late, wishing they’d served HIm with ALL their hearts in EVERYTHING they do before they get to Heaven’s Gate.
Even God knows this life can be hard to survive,
But when the things that break the heart of God begin to break ours; thats when we begin to revive.
God won’t ask us what our batting averages or era’s were,
But rather, how we displayed His love on this earth-
He’s not going to ask us how many friends we had,
But rather how many people we were a friend to whether they seemed good or bad-
He wont ask “what clothes did you wear?”
But He’ll ask how many clothes did you share?
He won’t ask a lot of things we think are important in this life that we try to accomplish..
It’s unfortunate that the world has brainwashed us to think its money that makes us rich-
Sure money allows us to buy nice things,
But it’s leading people to Christ that makes Heaven sing!-
When we fall inlove with someone, that’s all that’s one our mind,
And falling inlove with Jesus will separate you from this world and you’ll become one of a kind!-
The gifts God has engraved on your heart will begin to show,
And with those gifts they will continue to help you grow-
Grow in His light, His love, His pure joy, His kind spirit, His gentle words, I could go on and on about the importance of allowing God to sync you heart with His,
And the importance is this-
Once your heart is synced with the Lord’s,
This life will suddenly make sense, because you’ll see what your going towards-
Him, simply Him,
And there will be nothin dim-
Because you will be a light!
A light that overcomes all darkness because it’s so bright!-
I hope this makes sense to you like it does to me, because it’s all so real,
All you have to do is ask God what you want Him to reveal!

-By:Alaina Shull-

Hey guys. I wanted to come here to share my testimony with you all, of how I came to Jesus Christ.  I was born and raised In a Christian home, but at the time Our faith was hardly practiced. I had many problems that nobody had helped me with. I had anger issues and I was an unruly child. I never wanted to obey my mother, and I caused her much grief. My father had a drinking problem and he never spent time with me, and I never got to have a real father figure because He was always gone. He and my mom fought verbally and I was always scared something would happen if they got too mad. Soon he and mom separated. And afterwards we moved in with my grandparents. They taught me about Jesus, and who he was and about being saved. I listened yet I did not understand what it was all about.

When I very small I started having self esteem issues that eventually lead into me having childhood anorexia. I suffered and was sick because I would not eat. I could not bring myself to. I was too sick. I was very weak and I missed a lot of school. My family says I even talked about, and contemplated suicide. Eventually I got help and it took awhile to recover,  but eventually I made it through. Soon my parents got back together and had my brother, and we got our own place when he was small. But dad’s drinking did not stop. And it got harder for me to deal with everything in my household. I spent every day depressed. It was an on and off thing I went through for years. Nobody could help me. I kept to myself mostly. I was very shy and I had massive anxiety problems. It got so bad I had to be taken out of school. I refused to leave the house often. I was so afraid and I cried constantly.

Soon My mother took us to church and eventually she found Christ. She talked to me and talked to me about Jesus and encouraged me to be saved. She did whatever she could in her power to help me. Because my dad could not handle my mothers change, he moved away. My life got a lot better after that. But as I approached my teen years, Demons came to me very often. They had been coming to me even as a little child, But especially now. I had them attached to me. They appeared to me in several different ways. They tormented me sometimes. Also in different ways. They made me think that God wouldn’t accept me and would not love me because of the things I had done. I started to dabble in the occult a bunch. I played with Ouija boards and talked to the demons. I believe that at one time I had some inside me. I shudder to think of how I lived this way…

Fast forward a couple years and we found out my grandfather was dying. He was the only sort of father figure I had and when he died it put a ton of weight on me. At the funeral I cried like a little baby. The loss almost killed my family. After the funeral we found we had to move because we could no longer handle the bills. I had stopped playing with the boards for awhile and I had them stored in my room closet along with my other occult things. I had gone to sleep one night and I had a dream of my grandfather begging me to rid of my ouija boards. I told my mother about the dream and I guess she threw them away because I never saw my things again. That felt good to me. When we moved out into the country, things got simple and I had a lot more time to think about my afterlife, my eternity. This troubled me a great deal. Because I knew that if I died, or the rapture took place, I would wind up in Hell. I had no clue how to be reconciled with God. Because I had done horrible things. And I thought that he would not love or care for me if I surrendered to him. I contained all this stress and it ate me alive. I was hopeless because I thought my soul was damned.

One morning I woke up for church, and I could not take it anymore. I burst into tears and I cried out to God and I repented and surrendered it all to him. I felt clean, a new person. The world was suddenly different! I was happy!!! It was so refreshing, and calm in my soul. I was a new creation. God helped me forgive my dad because I hated him for years. I began to read the Bible and pray and seek God in my life. My old nature did not come to me overnight. . . so it did not leave me overnight. It was a process that I had to go through. And am still going through. But I praise GOD for being with me though the whole thing. And loving me and caring for me still. I love him with all I have in me. He IS my life. He is the father that I had wanted from childhood. I finally found him and I am not letting go, and he says the same for me… <3 God bless you all for reading! P. S–I am sorry it was so long but I am being lead to share my story with people. God bless.

GOD truly with all my heart came to me in a dream!! The next day I went and bought a journal. this is what i saw…i call it GOD SPEAKING!

I thank GOD for showing me the right way, which might be different to others but to my soul is true. For being patient with me and showing me the light. He showed me the world of torture that one day will be (sorry he didn’t tell me the date). That is for him to know, not I. There will be no way I will be there. I will stand up and show my praise for GOD and know that I am a servant for GOD. I need and want GOD in my life. GOD is power over everything, even me. I’ve seen things so great and so powerful. I thank GOD for this. I’ve seen hell and all it’s sin. All the disgusting sin. I felt the sorrow, all the pain, all that is bad, and all that is dark. Trust me this isn’t where you want to be. To be is to feel sin crawling in and out of you. You have no control. Through this he stuck by my side guiding me through. Revealing it for me to tell all. I told him I couldn’t take anymore. He told me hold onto your faith for me you will be fine. It will all be worth it in the end. So, I believed…I kept my faith strong in front of me like a shield of armor for all sin to see. Sin tried to pull me down. Every path he led me down was like a tunnel of sin. It was to the glory of GOD that moved me through this. My faith is stronger now than ever. GOD was truthful to me he said keep your faith as you move forward and it will be worth it in the end. Suddenly, I awoke gasping for air as if for the first time in my life. That is when he pushed me to my knees and pulled my hands to the heavens. Thats when the HOLY SPIRIT took over and I saw nothing but bright beauty. Like thunder GOD talked. God told me it was time to rise. A hot rush ran through my body. I had been blessed! That was the night GOD saved me!!!!!

Greetings to all of you in that precious name of the Lord Jesus Christ. I just want to share the goodness of the Lord with you. The Lord is truly my provider, whether financialy, spiritually or naturaly and not only that, but whenever I feel lonely, He keeps me company through His Word. For sure He sticketh closer then a friend. How many times did He provide unto me and my family our daily needs. My husband doesn’t work yet, but the Lord in His way see to it that we have that which is needful. Of the numerous times He healed me and my children is a classic testimony on its own. My heart’s desire is to always put Him first in my life. Accepting the Lord Jesus Christ into your life is the most priviledge and best thing one can do. May we always appreciate the good Lord amd thank Him for His benefits.

My name is Etienne and this is one of my testimony.

It was a sunny day in the summer 2007 and i was 23 years old, i have received a call from my cousin telling me we should hang out if i have nothing particular to do and since i didn’t i accepted I got myself ready and left around 1pm that day. I met my cousin at a train station and he had come along with a mutual friend.
As said we hanged around and did nothing but talk until 5 or 6pm that afternoon when we started to feel hungry. My cousin suggested that we go eat a kebab sandwich and we all agreed but since we had no money we would run before the restaurant’s owner noticed something.

Now i have never done anything like that in my life but i was hooked and felt embarassed to say no because i didnt wanna to look like a “punk” (what an idiot).
So we did as planned and went in the kebab restaurant behind the train station, each one of us ordered a meal and waited at the table for the food to be ready, my cousin was the first one to receive a meal then the friend and i received ours.

We started to eat but our attention was on the owner’s restaurant, and all of sudden my cousin walk out without the owner noticing, i was getting nervous because i didnt know if i was going to make it. Then before i even had another bite of that sandwich our friend ran out, thats when the owner turned and noticed that i was the only one left of us 3, God i wish i could turn invisible that day.

I wasnt hungry anymore but felt stress growing up inside me, i then pretend that i was going outside to get some cigarette and left the sandwich on the table but the owner was no dumb person so he followed me and so did his (i suppose) family members.

He started to tell me to pay for my sandwich which cost about 6$, i told him that i was going to pay but i didnt have any money on me right there but he didnt wanna let go of my arm.

We started arguing and i started to curse and threaten him thinking that people around us will come to help or calm things down but no one moved in a centimeter, people were just minding there own business. And meanwhile the owner’s people grew in number but my cousin and our friend were nowhere to be found.

I felt abandonned and thought that i will end up being stabbed or even worse only for a piece of sandwich and in my heart i said: God please help me.

Then out of nowhere this man came and said:

Woow my brothers what’s going on? All of you are brothers why are you fighting for?

The man stood between me and the rest of them.

The owner’s restaurant said: he ate at a sandwich in my restaurant but he refused to pay.

Then the man said: how much is the sandwich?

The owner said: 6 dollars

The man then put his hand in is pocket and pulled out the right amount of money and paid the owner.

He then said: Now calm down it’s ok i payed for him.

And like nothing had happened the owner and his people turn around and left. I felt secure and i started cursing the owner again but more out of fear then anger and before i even turn around and thank the man for his help, he was nowhere to be found..He vanished just like he appeared.

This whole incident lasted about 20 minutes but neither my cousin or our friend showed up. and when i finally made it to where we usually hang around, they were mocking me and laughing at me so hard that i wished that something bad happens to them. But bless God i took back those evil words said to them and the owner earlier.
Later on i just had this feeling that something supernatural had happened and i said to myself: Oh my God i just got saved by an angel of The Lord and i didnt even noticed it! And the holy spirit confirmed to me from someone else’s mouth that He was indeed an angel of The Lord Jesus sent to rescue me. Oh What a wonderful God we have!
I thanked Jesus that night for sending His angel to rescue me because it was going to end up really bad without His supernatural help. The devil was there too in a form of a crazy man laughing at me and telling me to continue cursing and threatening but Jesus had the last talk because He is the beggining and the End. Amen!
Now for those who think Our Lord has gave up on them, i hope by reading this they will think differently.
God IS FAITHFUL and He WILL ALWAYS STAND BY HIS WORDS NO MATTER WHAT!
HE WILL NEVER LET ANYONE DOWN NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.

PSALM.146 VERSE 3-5 SAYS IT ALL: “PUT NOT YOUR TRUSTIN WHOM THERE IS NO HELP. HIS BREATH GOETH FORTH? HE RETURNETH TO HIS EARTH; IN THAT VERY DAY HIS THOUGHTS PERISH.
HAPPY IS HE THAT HATH THE GOD OF JACOB FOR HIS HELP, WHOSE HOPE IS IN THE LORD HIS GOD”.

MAY THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND HIS PEACE COVER YOU.

AND REMEMBER CALL UPON THE LORD NO MATTER THE SITUATION YOU ARE IN! NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL IT IS, HE WILL RESTORE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE BETTER THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN BEFORE.

GLORY TO JESUS-CHRIST, GLORY GLORY GLORY TO YOU LORD

AMEN

Brothers and Sisters the Holy Spirit has spoken to my heart today. I am a spirit filled Christian who has been baptized by the Holy Spirit by the gift of tongues. It is a great gift but recently I’ve felt a bit depressed and and void. Strange because the LORD promises an abundant life so this does not come from GOD. I have been down and feelings unfortunately get in the way sometimes. The HOLY SPIRIT told me this is how a human without Jesus Christ feels and I wept because I knew that life without Christ is in vain. The apostole Paul said, to LIVE IS CHRIST AND TO DIE IS GAIN, of course to die is gain for those in Jesus Christ. Always ask God what your next mission is that way you know you are doing something for the kingdom of God especially winning souls for Christ the great comission because feeling this way is horrible but bearable in Christ Jesus. Please talk to God constantly and ask God what his daily will for your life is. Read the Word and pray without ceasing because you never know who you are going to talk about Christ with or when our LORD will come to take us home. He comes for a well kept bride constantly waiting for HIM and doing HIS will. Ask God for strength no matter your situation God can use you sometimes I find it difficult to fly around the world to preach the Gospel but God sent us back to our old poor community because we were living a better lifestyle for a reason. We lost our business and couldn’t afford our 4 bedroom luxury apartment. So we came back to a 3 bedroom apartment in a really bad neighborhood. But I know this is where God wants us, because they are patient when we can’t pay rent and a lot of people here need salvation.

I was born on March 20, 1987, In Quincy, Illinois to the parents: Michelle Diane Mangold age 17 and Lloyd William Fuhrman age 18.  From the get go I was in a messed up situation my father and mother wasn’t married my mother was a grade a student, and my father was a drug dealer who was constantly in trouble in school and the law.  My mother actually received an award for getting my father through school.  My Mother’s side of the family are well educated   teachers, construction foreman’s, C.P.As.

My father’s side is the type of people that would pronounce words incorrectly like “kmark” “walmark” and where party animals working in factories or dealing drugs on the street.  My Father was a very verbally and physically abusive boyfriend to my mother, and would constantly bring other women into my mother’s home while she worked hard sometimes working two jobs.  Working jobs like kitchen help, or working in chicken factories to just to take care of me.  My mother moved back into my grandmothers when she finally had enough of my father’s abuse.

And we secretly moved into an apartment that was very tiny and in a bad neighborhood, on 11th and lind in Quincy Illinois it was actually connected to the old Georges Potato chip factory and you could hear the tow motors all day and night.  Four blocks up from the main housing authority in our town.  I was constantly getting stripped and beaten and molested and called a fat a**, I was an overweight child, and began to get very angry and started doing stupid things to fit in with the kids of the neighborhood, one time my friend and I actually broke into an apartment just to steal ice cream, we set garages on fire, threw bricks through windows, would steal bags of chips from the potato chip factory.

I actually got expelled from grade school for sniffing white sand acting like it was cocaine and smoking newspapers, after my father found out where we lived he started getting me one or two times a month, and we were constantly going from one place to another to girls houses, and he would take me to the bar with him all the time.  I can still remember some girl watching me in another room and looking in the other room seeing my father smoking marijuana and some guy doing lines of cocaine.  When I was eight years old my Great Grandfather Elmer Mangold started taking me to Salem U.C.C. in Quincy Illinois a very beautiful church.  He taught me very important points about tithing, and how you have to completely rely on God.

And that was all good till I got back to my neighborhood, and had to fend for myself, didn’t know where I fit in felt all alone, hated my mother for my father not being around hardly.   I started to memorize the stories of the bible and new that everybody said there was a god, but I didn’t feel him, couldn’t see him working around me, didn’t have a personal relationship, you can go to church all your life but if you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus none of that matters.

I loved going to church, and was actively involved but was constantly being misbehaved in the church.  I can still remember watching pornals with my dad, getting drunk at the age of eight, losing my virginity at the age of ten; I began to have an obsession with pornals, and anything to do with sex.  In school I would constantly be joking around in class to try to hide the fact that I was obese.  When I hit Baldwin school I was starting to steal from stores, and throwing stuff down toilets to make them overflow, people probably thought I was part of the custodian staff with how much I had to stay after to clean the school for punishment.  Once I hit Junior High my mother could not control me, I was always out partying. But all that wasn’t me I was inside a lonely good hearted boy looking for attention the wrong way.

I was always actively involved in student council, was in Youth as Resources which was a program that gave out grants for youth to do great things for their communities, I founded an anti-drug program that used illusions, puppets, and rap to give the message not to do drugs, but yet I was getting high before we would practice.  I was in a group called Royal Rangers.  When I started Junior high we moved to the south side of Quincy on 7th and Washington next to and up above a boarding home for mentally handicapped adults.  In junior high I went through confirmation at Salem, and was baptized, I actually felt my calling from god when we went to a seminary in Chicago, Illinois he hit me quicker than I could blink my eyes and told me that I was going to become a pastor and spread the Gospel, I believed him but I ignored it because I didn’t want my dad and people to think I was weak or a goodie two shoes.  I was always getting in trouble at the lock ins and mission trips, I mean I once was caught sitting in the wine cellar getting drunk off of communion wine,  and would go down the stairs in wheelchairs, etc.  I actually was witnessed to by one of the mentally handicapped adults living downstairs from me, he came up to me one day and asked me if I would hang out with him and because I felt “sorry for him” (that’s what I thought at the time) I went into his room he put in a Michael w. smith music video, and then we watched cross and the switch blade movie, and it hit me if God can change that guy on the movie he can change me.  He invited me to his church Bethel Assembly of God; the first time I went there I felt out of place and was weirded out by people speaking in tongues and raising their hands.  But I felt the conviction all around me; my mother didn’t want me going to that church because she thought it was a cult.  So I would act like I’m going to a friend’s house and go to Bethel to church, and royal rangers, I actually fake signed a permission slip to get baptized at bethel and got baptized for the second time.

Also during my junior high years my father had his first aneurysm and he died on the helicopter on the way to Springfield, Illinois, and was brought back,  and that is where god taught me that we must forgive others, because he forgave us. He was in comatose for two weeks and was pronounced brain dead, but I didn’t give up faith I prayed and prayed and put a cross in his pocket and a year later he came out of it and was able to walk, talk and think once again, then he got colon cancer, once again I prayed for him and put a cross in his pocket and he was cured from cancer, then he had yet another aneurysm died again was brought back, was in comatose for two months and we were a day from pulling the plug when he opened his eyes.  He once again had to go through rehab to get his functions back.  Also in junior high my great great grandmother told me I was called to become a pastor and told me she wanted me to read her the bible once a week, and when she had her aneurysm she had me pray with her and as I finished and said Jesus take her, her body jumped up and I saw her spirit leave her body and head towards heaven I was thirteen when I officiated her funeral, and it was their where the rest of my father’s family asked me to do their funerals when they pass on.  Now in  high school, I  constantly was having sexual encounters, stealing merchandise from stores, homes, cars and selling them at the college where my mother was actually working at.

I was involved in a group that did back yard wrestling breaking boards, and glass over my head bleeding everywhere, streaking into YMCA, McDonalds, and other places drunk and high.  I couldn’t stay in school I even got kicked out of schools for misbehaved students, ended up having to go to the board of education and get one on one education.  Once I actually jumped out a second story window saying I was Satan and woke up bloody and vomit all over me, then another time I was selling stolen merchandise at a basketball game and they told me to get in their car and I did they sped off pulled out a gun and threw me out of their car that same day I got the news I was sixteen years old I found out a girl I was having intercourse with unprotected ended up pregnant so I went to my mother and told her I needed to leave town and change my life so I wouldn’t be like my father, (who now I love and have forgiven and we have a close relationship)so she started crying and pulls out this big box with all kinds of promotional dvds of places she was thinking about sending me, and together we chose for me to attend Earle C. Clements Job Corps academy in Morganfield, Ky.  The second largest Job Corps center in America, with 1800 students, 80 new students a week maybe 2 of each group staying and successfully completing the program.  Job corps was full of mostly adults between the ages of 20 to 24 I was sixteen years old.   It was their where I transformed my life stopped doing drugs and alcohol, stopped wearing clothes three times too big for me, and my pants down to my knees, I quickly  became a wing leader, and captain of jrotc,  Senator for student government association.  While there I would have these huge men with big muscles, and just  would come into my room at two or three in the morning waking me up and scaring the heck out of me, they would start crying and telling me their whole life stories, and asking me to help them and bring them to Jesus. While I was there I attended a Baptist church, and got involved in their ministry and in order to become part of their church you had to be baptized at their church, so for the third time I got baptized.  I graduated with honors with a G.E.D. and a vocational certificate for Business technology, I came back and Got married to the girl I got pregnant, (not because I loved her but because I thought it was the right thing, first wrong thing in that relationship) our relationship got mutually very abusive I wasn’t allowed to go to church, I wasn’t allowed to go to college, couple years after I came back my grandmother got very ill and was diagnosed with cancer in eight different places in her body, and ten tumors in her head, they gave her six months to a year and she lasted a month and a half,  during which time one night she came to me and we discussed what she wanted at her funeral and how she didn’t want a big service just graveside, so I didn’t get to play a song for her I wanted to play called holes in the floor of heaven, after discussing the arrangements she told me she wanted me to pray with her because she had never prayed before,  we prayed for a whole two hours, she started crying and said that’s all I needed and hung up.  The next day I went up to visit with her at the hospital  and she was talking about she just had a baby and sorry her house is a mess it’s because of the dog under the bed, she had hot pink fingernail polish all over the floor and all over her hands, we ended up putting her in hospice and two weeks later I’m working third shift finishing my sermon for her funeral and all of a sudden holes in the floor of heaven came on and not even 10 seconds later I got the call that she just passed away and I already knew, and was prepared for the services, then a little bit down the road my Great aunt Janice gets cancer, and has what doctors call split personality but I personally know she was processed because when I was taking care of her I would talk to her about Jesus and we would read the bible, and she would talk about wanting Salvation, mind you she’s very weak at this time going through chemo, and all of a sudden her eyes would go black and she would get very strong and start talking about how she hates people like me always talking about god,  a week before she passed away I constantly prayed with her and got her saved, and officiated her funeral, then a couple months later my Great Great Aunt on my father’s side fell and broke her hip, and was in the hospital I prayed for her every day, and prayed her last prayer with her, and once again officiated her funeral. To get back to my relationship with my first wife we ended up moving to phoenix Arizona on the hardest street their and was surrounded by people getting high off embalming fluid, and all kinds of crazy stuff we end up homeless roaming the streets for almost a whole week, and when we got back our relationship was just over, she was talking to guys on the internet telling them she loved them they where going to move here, so then I searched  for a girl I dearly loved growing up but did her wrong, found her had to prove that I was changed and we have been married tell this day.

As you can see God has been using me through the years, but I wasn’t committed to him, so he kept putting me through all kinds of trials, once I got with my current wife, i devoted my life to Jesus and got off the fence and have had an awesome ride with him.  The Crossing Church actually helped me become fully devoted to Jesus and my family.  I got baptized for my last time at the crossing to symbolize that I was getting off the fence, and I was going to stop running from my calling.  While attending the Crossing I was living in a very dark trailer park, full of violence, crime, alcohol, drug dealing, and low income families needing Jesus and no one was ministering to these people and that’s actually how I started Quincy on Fire Ministries, I was having Bible studies in my small trailer bringing in anywhere from 12 to 16 people every Wednesday, and baptizing 8 of them. I also had people coming to me at 1 to 3 in the morning asking for help and to come to salvation.  I also dressed up like Santa Claus and passing out gifts to the children, with scriptures on them.

We went to nursing homes and did activities with them, helped an autistic child’s father whose mother left them because she couldn’t handle him  find furniture, clothing, toys, and all kinds of stuff, we started an outreach program called Teens in Action which was originally just a puppet ministry we was trying to do too much so my old Mentor from Royal Rangers  Mike Quigley took me under his wing and taught me to choose one ministry and that’s when we chose to do the outreach program, we have been harvesting it the last two years and a half and fine tuning it and are now ready to go out into your community and spread the gospel!To sum it all up no I didn’t go to Bible College, or seminary, but I have the calling on my life to spread the gospel as a pastor and evangelist, and I am empathetic with others, and can relate to the struggles they go through. Recently one of my friends  who was seventeen that I built a relationship with out in the trailer court just had a child, thought he was Mr. gangster like I used to, tried committing suicide and eventually dying from suicide enforcing in me that we need to get out there and let these youth and children know that they are loved and that Jesus is always there for them and that there is always someone to turn to and talk to.  Just to share with you some more information about me, I love to spend time with First God, secondly my wife and children and then my family.  I have two half-sisters, my older sister Tiffany two years older than me we have the same father she was adopted by her grandparents, my older sister I didn’t know existed until i met her at my surprise skating party at the age of eight, what a great surprise, and my younger sister Ashley is seven years younger than me we share the same mother.

My favorite book is the Bible I mean it is a beautifully written book full of miracles, not illusions, parables that teach us, and illustrate the love of Jesus, Proverbs that give us advice, I mean it’s beautiful. My favorite Artist is God I mean how could he not be the best artist look all around you at the miraculous scenery he has made, look at the universe with hundreds of million stars for each star there is a grain of sand on earth, and he knows each by name, he created perfect images of himself which is us.  My Favorite kind of music is praise and worship music, I love to take pictures, edit videos, do Christian illusions, preach, write poetry, scrapbook, do projects with family, help others that need help, and much more.  See I’m a city boy, let’s talk about my wife she’s country she was born in Quincy, Illinois as well but was taken from her real mother .  Her name before she was adopted was Barbara Lou Sanderson, and then she got adopted and her name was changed to Barbara JW Morse, and now she is Barbara JW Fuhrman.  Eventually, she was adopted by Mike and Barbara Morse and lived in Coatsburg, Illinois.   She has a beautiful heart and soul, and her eyes will melt you in seconds, you can’t help but love this precious woman of God.  She is my a valuable part of all my ministries, and she has a heart for foster children, abused, and molested children, and the hurt in general.  And as a team it is our goal to reach the hurt and lost and help them find Jesus the one who can fill them with Joy and heal their hurt. She has three biological sisters, and one brother: Marlayna Speirs(marshall), Amber Marshall, Annabelle Sanderson, and Freddie (Alex Nokes). She has  four adopted sisters, and six adopted brothers.  We have many nieces and nephews: Elayna, bella, christabelle Tuter, Dale, and  Dalayna Brooks, Henry Speirs the third,Josiah Speirs,  Mariah, David, and Austin Baze, Madison and Emma Mcconnell, and many more.We have four children, Hailea, Leah, Zachary the second, and Amera.  We  can’t forget my dog cookie, dove’s Faith and Hope, bunny Floppy, and two gold fishes. We love animals, Also I was recently ordained through National Association of Christian Ministers, my ministry is chartered through them as well.  I’m also a member of the Fellowship of Christian Magicians. It is time for us as Christians to get out there forget about denominations,the way each other look,  and all that  stuff and build relationships between the lost and our Lord and Savior we are his Ambassadors and its time we act like it!!! Please Join Christian Illusionist Zach Fuhrman as a donator, allowing us to perform for your organization, or church, or just by helping us bring home the lost, May God bless you!