Testimony Share

I married at a young age—thinking that was the “perfect” life.  I was wrong.  I married to keep the one I loved at the time in my life basically.  We would break up and get together and over the course of time we married, and eventually developed a nasty habit for narcotics.  Both of us were gone!  I remember crying out to GOD one day looking up asking to be rescued from it all.  Bills, family, all of it.  Now I know to be careful what you ask for when you are speaking with GOD!  We were trying for a baby for the longest also using fertility drugs to no avail we gave up on that too.

Over time, our addiction grew, our company was that of addicts, our bills got behind, and we fought more frequently.  The only legitimate answer was to burn our home down and collect insurance monies.  Something we would never do in our sober minds!  Needless to say the act happened, we got by for a while, and low and behold at the wrong time I found out I was pregnant.  WHY NOW??? Was my thought.  We were both responsible for the house situation, I got single handedly pointed out and served some time for it.  I had my child and spent a total of 8 hours before handing him over to my mother.  I am thankful that I did have someone to take him for me.  During the course of my time, my “loving” husband stood beside me for 9 mos. and there I was alone, doing time, pregnant about to have a baby with 4 years to do.  I am home, my child is now 11, and we have a very loving relationship.  I am clean, and have a great marriage now.  I learned that God’s love is enough.  Never idolize another human being the way I did my previous husband, and be careful what and how you ask God for things.  He may just answer you.

Reading through people’s testimonies is truly a blessing. Hearing how God has moved in your lives is so encouraging. I want to take a minute and share part of my story – At 42, my life had great excitement, huge success, but very little substance. I was a well-known fashion photographer and shot for Calvin Klein, Nautica, Christian Dior and more.

Outwardly, my life was full. Inside, I was running on empty. I found myself in a very dark place that I couldn’t escape. Lying awake one night, completely unsure of my fate, I had a visitor.

I distinctly remember the absolute presence of God in my room. He asked me if I wanted to keep doing things my way or maybe try them His way. I knew that I couldn’t get out of this on my own, and realized that it was time to try His way.

My life began to change. It was a difficult time – God had no intention of fixing it all at once. But over the next months (and years), incredible people came into my life, all bringing information that would reshape my life into the one God had intended for me all along.

In 1993, I took a break. After a while, I was blessed to lead the project called Beyond the Sport, the Victory Within which highlights some amazing athletes. I was also blessed to be reunited with my college-sweetheart that same year. It had to be divine intervention. She was 400 miles away and I had not seen her in over 21 years. We met in Pensacola, Florida in April, it was love at second sight. We were married five months later! Since Cheryl and I married, both of us have grown exponentially in our relationship with the Lord. He is the center of our lives and the One who has blessed us so.

That journey that started over 15 years ago led us to a place where we thought it was time we did more to spread the name of Jesus. That is where The Journey’s Project comes in – my life has been one crazy, blessed Journey, full of lessons learned. I started The Journeys Project with a vision to show re-create images of a 2000 year-old message within the context of the 21st century. Creating this project has been a journey itself and process where we have seen and experienced the peace of God. I wanted to share with each of you that there are certain free images you can get that I hope encourage you and bring the peace of God in a way you have never felt. You can get those images at www.thejourneysproject.com.

Thanks everyone here for sharing your stories and journeys… and for listening to mine. May God bless!

Early Sexual Abuse:

I don’t remember much about my childhood. I do know that the abuse started early…

I don’t remember the first incident, but my Mom told me that when I was 5 she was giving me a bath and found scratch marks on my butt. She asked me what they were, and I started crying. I said that the teenage son of the lady who babysat my brothers and I had tried to get my panties down. The next day, Mom quit work and stayed home to take care of us kids until we were old enough to go to school.

I can remember going to my cousin’s house for summer vacations, and on weekend visits. My male cousin was about a year older than me. I remember him touching me…I know that this abuse continued for many years, even when they came to our house to visit. He would somehow make sure we were alone in a room, and then he would touch me…I don’t remember all that he did to me. I do remember the touching and kissing… I knew what he was doing was wrong, but I was not sure how to stop it. This abuse continued until I was probably 11 years old. I had another cousin who would touch me in the same ways. Thankfully it didn’t happen with him much because I only saw him about once every couple of years.

Around the time that I was 10 or 11, I had made friends with a girl that was my age that lived a couple of doors down from me. She had a step-dad and an older teenage brother. I can remember the brother touching me…but I don’t remember much else. I also remember that one night I asked my Mom if I could spend the night at this friend’s house. My Mom said sure because my Dad was friends with her step-dad. I honestly don’t know or remember what happened that night, but I can remember for weeks after that thinking to myself, “How am I going to tell my Mom that I’m pregnant”. I’m not sure why I thought I was, but I knew that something had happened. Many years later (while I was in high school) I saw this step-dad again (he came to visit my Dad) and I was so very scared of him. He kept smirking at me and trying to get me to talk to him. I just could not bring myself to be in the same room with him. My Mom suspected that something was wrong, but I never told her. Then, when I was in my 20′s, I saw a lady who could have been the twin to the step-dad. I remember feeling very sick to my stomach. I could not even look her in the face. I’m very thankful that God has helped me to block out that whole situation. I know in my heart that something very bad happened that night, and I pray every time I think of it that God will not allow me to remember it.

Dad:

I don’t remember Dad drinking until I was about 12 years old. Mom did a very good job of hiding it from us kids. She would always make sure that we were in bed when he came home from drinking.

The first time I remember Mom and Dad fighting in front of us kids about Dad’s drinking was when I was 12 years old. Dad apparently wanted to go out, but we were really short on money. Mom told Dad that we were, but he said he didn’t care. She said well, if you can go out, then I can too. She loaded us kids up and we all went out to eat. I could tell that she was so miserable the whole time. It was such a tense situation. I can remember feeling very anxious and sad.

A short while after that situation, Mom, Dad and two of their friends had gone out for the night while leaving us kids and their kids with a sitter. When they all came home, Mom and Dad were fighting. We all got into the car to go home and Dad smacked my Mom. Mom jumped out of the car and so did us kids. Dad sped off. Their friends told us that we could stay the night. We had no sooner than gotten settled in for the night than Dad started calling. He said he was on his way. When he got there, we all got into the van. Dad proceeded to tell us that he was going to kill all of us that night and then kill himself. He said, then showed us, that he had a loaded shotgun between the seats. After we got home, he pulled out the gun and told all of us to get into the house. Mom said no we are not going into the house; we’ll sit out here on the swing (which was in the front yard). We sat outside for what seemed like hours. Dad would come out periodically and he alternated between being overly sappy then extremely verbally abusive trying to get my Mom into the house. Finally he’d had enough and grabbed my Mom. Mom said run! So we all ran to the neighbor’s house and I had the neighbors call the police. Thankfully, the police got there before Dad could do anything to any of us. For years after that, Dad never let me forget that I was the one who called the police on him. It was like his hatred of me grew from this moment on.

The next year, Dad got sent to Panama for 6 months without us. Things seemed pretty good at home with him gone. Of course Mom missed Dad, but overall we had a pretty happy life. Then orders came up for us to go over to Panama to be with Dad. I don’t remember much of his drinking then, and he wasn’t too terribly abusive at that time. Things were very tense at home, and we all felt like we were walking on eggshells when Dad was home, but Dad mostly would stay gone till late at night. We would all be in bed by the time he got home, so he had no one to fight with. While we were down there, Dad got into trouble for being drunk and had to go to AA meetings and got put into an in-patient facility in the States supposedly to “get sober”. Dad was sober for exactly one year…all that he was required to be.

After coming back from Panama, things just proceeded to get worse. Mostly it was watching and listening to my Dad be verbally abusive to my Mom. Dad was also cheating on Mom. Dad would come in after being out and then want to pick a fight with Mom. He would accuse her of cheating and then severely verbally abuse her. Once again, Dad got into trouble with the military because he was caught passed out behind the driver’s seat. He had taken both of my brother’s with him to a friend’s house to get drunk and high. He was so drunk when he was driving home that he just pulled over and passed out. Both of my brothers were just sitting in the car wondering what to do. They were probably 13 and 14. One of my brothers pulled the keys out of the ignition and sat them on the dash otherwise my Dad would have gotten arrested for DUI. As it was, by the time the cops got there, my Dad was puking blood. He had alcohol poisoning and was taken to the ER. After that incident, he was required to attend AA again, and was required to stay sober for a year.
My sophomore year of high school, we moved to another house. Things continued to get worse. Exactly one year to the day that he became required to stay sober, he was back out at the bar getting drunk. This was on the day of my 16th birthday party. After that, Dad began to be verbally abusive to me. He would tell me that he didn’t love me and if I didn’t like it I could leave.

When I was a senior in high school one of my best friends died in a car accident. I had had a fight with her the day before she died.

On the night of my graduation party, my Dad decided that he needed to get drunk. My whole graduation party ended up being a drunken bash for my Dad and his friends.

After I graduated from High School, my Dad retired from the Army and we moved back to Ohio. Dad began growing and selling marijuana and drinking almost every day. My Dad’s brother came to visit one weekend and they both got into a huge fight. My Mom stepped in, and then my brother stepped in. My Dad proceeded to beat my brother up. We ran across the street…with my Dad shooting the shotgun at us…to call the police. Again, I was the one who called the police. When the police came, they said that they could not take Dad to jail. My brother did not have any visible marks on him and unless my Dad had physically assaulted any of us, with visible marks, then he had as much right to stay there as we did. They actually told us that we should leave! It wasn’t until my Dad became verbally abusive to the police officer that they finally arrested him. The next day, Dad was released (he was never charged with anything), he just had to sleep off his drunk. Dad started walking home and then got a ride from someone. By the time he got home he was fuming mad. He didn’t speak to any of us for about a week. He didn’t drink during that time, but he still managed to make all of our lives miserable. And, then he found out that I was the one who had called the police. I was done for…in his eyes, I was no longer his daughter. That was all I could take…I moved out into my own apartment after that. The only reason I stayed for so long was because I didn’t want to leave my Mom to have to deal with my Dad by herself. But I just could not stay there any longer. I was having major anxiety attacks every time Dad drank.

My Life:

I moved into a one bedroom apartment in January of 1996. I absolutely loved it. I didn’t have to be around Dad anymore than I chose to be. I didn’t have a driver’s license, so I was very dependent upon people to take me places. This caused a lot of strain between Mom and Dad because while Mom wanted to help me in any way, Dad complained constantly. I began working at Pillsbury in Wellston, OH in November 1995. I didn’t particularly like working in a factory, but it was the only well paying job that I could find in that part of rural Ohio. I began to make friends, and on my 21st birthday several of my friends took me out drinking. That was my first taste of alcohol and the numbness that it gave me. I was hooked from then.

While working at Pillsbury, I met Chris. He was a great guy, and we quickly became friends. He was married, so I never thought anything about me and him. He began calling me at home after work (his wife worked 3rd shift at a different factory in the area). We would talk well into the night. Before long, we were talking about sex and I told him that I was a virgin. That just seemed to make him call more. One night after work a group of us were going to a local bar. He asked me if I would go, and then he would take me home. I said okay. That night we had sex. All I kept thinking about was how much I liked him, but then I would remember that he had a wife and a 2 year old son. I simply could not bear being the other woman, so I broke it off with him. Thankfully he got a job someplace else and I didn’t have to see him anymore.

After that, I became good friends with several different ladies that enjoyed going out to the bars and dancing. I really enjoyed drinking and how it numbed my emotions. Every time I went to the bar, I had no intention of only having a few drinks. I always drank to get drunk. Going to the bar was an every weekend thing, and sometimes even during the week.

I dated a lot of guys. I had sex with even more guys. And, several of my partners were married men. I was always searching for “the one” and the only way I knew to get guys to pay attention to me was to have sex with them. I didn’t know anything else. And, all of the guys that came and went from my life wanted only one thing from me. None of them wanted a real relationship with me.

I felt severely used and abused. So many times I just didn’t want to live anymore. I’ve had the pills laid out on the counter more times than I care to remember. I had every intention of taking all of them and just being done with it. I just didn’t like my life or where it was going, but I didn’t know how to change anything. Each time I had the pills out, a quiet voice would speak to me and say…just rest my child…it will be better in the morning. I was scared to die, so I’d just go to bed and cry myself to sleep.

In June of 1999, I got fired from my job at Pillsbury, and had to move back home with Mom and Dad. At the same time, my brother got out of the Army after serving 4 years and moved back home. Since Mom and Dad were living in a small 2 bedroom house, my brother and I had to share a room. By this time, Dad was really bad. He had already beaten my Mom up pretty severely and was threatening all the time to kill her and himself. One night after we had all been drinking because we had family and friends over for some special occasion, my parent’s were sleeping in mine and my brother’s room. That night I got to listen to my Dad call my Mom every horrible, disgusting name…then he proceeded to tell her how he was going to kill her and how he’d get away with it. The whole time, my Mom just lay there like she was asleep.

After that night, things just seemed to go downhill quite rapidly. Dad became withdrawn when he was sober and severely abusive when he was drunk. Mom and I had to sneak out while he was drinking to avoid his anger towards both of us. One night while he was drinking, he proceeded to tell my brother that he was going to kill my Mom. My brother told my Mom and she decided it was time that we all left. We tried getting help from a domestic abuse shelter, but we knew that we couldn’t live like that. My Mom knew that if she left my Dad and we still lived in the area that he would make our lives miserable even though we didn’t live with him. So Mom decided to leave. My brother and I had no place else to go, so we left with her. We put my brother’s and my stuff in storage, and some of Mom’s stuff too…at least the little bit that Dad let her take, and then we all left to go up to my Mom’s brother’s house.

After we left, Dad tells that he was planning to kill himself. He had the shotgun ready and he practiced (without a shell) by placing it in his mouth and pulling the trigger. He said he put the gun down that night and then went to sleep. The next day, he said he got up like every other day and was drinking and drugging. He said he had picked up his cousin and they were riding around. He said he just felt like he could not go on any longer in his life in the way he was going. He said he felt like he wanted to get saved. He dropped his cousin off, and then started driving to his sister’s house. While he was driving, he said he turned on the radio and there was a preacher preaching. He said he knows that he did not turn it to that station, so he felt even more impressed that he needed to get saved.

After getting to my aunt’s house, my aunt and uncle prayed with my Dad. They said…now you’re saved… My Dad said, No! You don’t understand, I have a legion of demons inside of me and I need a lot of preachers to pray with me. Get on the phone and call some preachers. That night he got miraculously saved! That was November 1999.

After getting saved, he called my Mom at my uncle’s house. He told her what he had done, but my Mom had heard all of his false promises to change so many times before, so she said, I’m sorry…have a nice life.

The next day, my Dad borrowed money off of his aunt to drive up to find my Mom. He had no clue where my uncle lived, he just knew the town. So he said he drove around all day long. Finally it was getting dark and Dad was getting discouraged. He said he stopped and prayed and asked God to help him to find us. Just then he rounded the corner and there was my brother’s car. We were all sitting and eating supper when there was a knock on the door. I knew immediately that it was Dad… I was so upset. He came in and begged my Mom to please forgive him and to come back home with him. Mom said, it’s not just up to me, you have to ask the kids too. So, my Dad talked with us kids. Finally, we all agreed to go home with him…though reluctantly.

Life for all of us changed from that day forward. I was still drinking, and trying desperately not to get saved even though I was under deep conviction. I can remember being in bed one night and praying out to God for Him to come and help me to want to get saved. Just then I saw several black forms out in the hallway trying to come into the bedroom. I immediately started praying and asking God to make them go away. They did.

Around the middle of December, Mom got saved. Mom was raised Lutheran, so she had no idea what salvation was. She was going to church with Dad, but she simply did not understand all that she was seeing and hearing. Finally one evening, she heard a preacher preaching that explained things in a way in which she could understand and she got saved.

New Year’s Eve 1999 rolled around and I was supposed to go out drinking with a bunch of friends. My plans fell through and Mom and Dad were going to church that night for a watch night service and invited my brother and me to go. I said I would, but at the last minute I changed my mind. While they were at church, my brother was in the bedroom and I was in the living room watching TV. I was watching the Dick Clark New Year’s Eve Special and Sting was singing “Dawning of a Brand New Day”. I knew that I was tired of living the life that I was living and that I wanted the peace and happiness in my life that I could that my parents had. I knew that if I knelt there and prayed in the living room, that my brother would come out and wonder what in the world I was doing, so I went into the bathroom and knelt down and prayed. I got saved that night.

I still deal a lot with depression and anxiety. I am currently going to counseling and my counselor seems to think that my depression and anxiety is caused by post traumatic stress syndrome. God is helping me day-by-day to have a personal relationship with Him and helping me to heal the deep wounds of my past.

I just would like to let everybody know that Jesus saved my life on many thousands of occasions and if it were not for the lord I would be dead now. I know that the lord loves you because when I was in prison back in 1985-1992 he saved vme from hanging with a rope around my neck and I went unconcious and when I was blacked out close to death I saw a bright light that had shown before me and then he said to me that he would take me someday but that for right then at that time that it wasn’t my time to pass away. he told me that if I made things right with my familly and gave to those who are in need and loved myself that I should do my best to stay with the living and understand that life is a far better thing than what I had been thinking and feeling that it had been and to always at all times push, struggle and realize that it is not to be wasted on things such as alcohol, drugs, or bargaining and bartering with the souls of men and women. Lord, i love you for all that you have done for me and your blessings go out to all those who might beleive in your name and my you always be praised and may you always find peace, love and joy in your mind, your heart and your soul. amen!

Everything was black. The banging started again. I tried to get up again but felt paralysed and couldn’t move a muscle. The banging again… this time I hear a door open. I still can’t see but men’s voices are deciding my fate… “What are we going to do with her” “Just get her out of here…”

…I open my eyes. I don’t know where I am. My body is shaking and I’m being sick. I can’t move. I hear men’s voices in another room. I open my mouth to shout for help but nothing comes out. I’m sick again and I can’t move my head. The sick covers my face. It’s black again.

The next morning I wake up to the smell of sick and no recollection of the night before. I only remember drinking three vodkas. I know one of them must have been spiked with drugs. I’m scared, ashamed and feeling lonely as I realise I’m not in control of my life. ‘Fate’ is in control. I gather up the sick covered bedding and sneak out the staff quarters of the hostel. I quickly bundle the bedding into a washer and run to make a phone call…

“Its me. Can you come and get me. I want my life to change.”

3 months earlier, I could hardly contain my excitement. Finally, the day had arrived. I was heading off to Australia for the year of a lifetime. A bubbling feeling inside told me my life was about to be changed. If only I knew how much! I’d been looking for change for a long time. I tried everything. New jobs, new hairstyles, new friends, new boyfriends, new clubs and pubs, new exotic drinks. My life followed spur of the moment excitement. It was always momentary excitement though. Every few months I would sink into a deep low for a few days as the familiar feeling of emptiness washed over me. My close friends couldn’t even consol me. Something was missing from my life. In those moments and only in those moments, I would ask the same question “If there is a God, where the hell are you?” My question was answered in Australia.

The first six weeks of my journey was spent mainly in Surfers Paradise eating out, clubbing by night, pubbing by day, smoking 3 times my usual, drinking off the scale and shopping in between times.

When I wasn’t spending money, I was visiting family in Brisbane. My friend and I stayed with them for a week when we first arrived. I still remember catching my friends eye across the dinner table and having an inward snigger as we were asked to hold hands while my Uncle said ‘Grace’. I couldn’t believe my mad fun-lovin Aunty had went all Holy Joe! She talked about Jesus A LOT! I listened because I love her but there were moments when my head was bursting and I had to say please can we stop talking about Jesus. It was all a bit unreal and random to me. If Jesus was God then why would He leave us here and if He was still alive, where the heck was He? Hiding?? It was time to head to Surfers Paradise.

Two thousand pounds and a few weeks later, I was tomato packing in some random place, desperately trying to raise some cash to go travelling. My efforts lasted less than a day as I picked out rotten tomatoes, forcing myself not to throw them at the bitch from hell supervising us. This was no holiday! I stormed out half way through the day. My friend and I parted ways as he headed back to Surfers and I re-joined my family in Brisbane.

My family were wonderful to me and I was well looked after as I tried to find some work. I couldn’t get a job and had no money to go anywhere. I listened day after day to Jesus talk. I decided to take an interest. It was a small price to pay for their love and security. I started asking questions and even agreed to go to church with them. I was in for a surprise!

We arrived at this huge campus filled with different shaped buildings and lots of greenery. I was given the grand tour… the swimming pool, the nursery, the primary school, the high school, the college, the library, the youth facility. My jaw dropped as we approached the main church building. I suddenly felt very small and intimidated as we stepped into the 2000 seater auditorium that was church. I hid behind my Aunt until we found a seat. A full-on band got up on stage; the drums kicked in and the music rocked the place. It was like a concert! People were jumping and singing at the top of their voices. My memory of church was a bunch of old folks competing to see who could sing their hymns in the highest pitch. What was this place??

When the music stopped a young guy was invited to come and share his story. He was a surfer type, handsome and rugged, so he got my full attention! He talked about how Jesus had changed his life and how he now had a relationship with God through Jesus. In my head it actually made sense; God’s holy, we’re not so we can’t join Him in heaven. Jesus is perfect, we’re not so Jesus died to take the punishment for all our wrongs. He paid the price and we get a clean slate. I understood it in my head but try telling my heart this stuff was real. As a kid my Bible was a cool storybook that sat on the same shelf as my Fairy Stories.

As we left church, my Aunt asked what I thought. All I could say was ‘interesting!’. Really, I was desperate to get away from that place before someone asked me about Jesus. I fled the next week to Surfers Paradise.

I clearly remember sitting in the hostel bar at 10am in my fluffy duck pyjamas ordering a Vodka and Raspberry. As I sat there, I was suddenly aware of my loneliness. The staff were lovely and I met other backpackers who were friendly too, but I couldn’t shake the inner loneliness.

The next day I was making that phone call…

“Its me. Can you come and get me. I want my life to change.”

My family came to the rescue within a couple of hours – no questions asked. They didn’t even have to ask me to go to church. I went willingly, searching for answers. I needed to know if this Jesus thing was for real.

As I sat in church listening to the pastor speak, I literally felt the head knowledge about Jesus fill my heart. I fought it and argued with myself that it was all a lot of nonsense but through my head flashed images of people who had hurt me, people I had hurt, shameful things I had done and then I saw Jesus in my mind on that cross, bruised and bloody, beaten beyond recognition, battered and lifeless. I felt a warmth surround my heart as I realised Jesus did that just as much for me as anyone else in that church. It felt like someone’s hands were squeezing my heart and the tears began to flow and flow and flow. I felt pain, hurt and loneliness leave my heart as it was replaced with a love that is indescribable and unlike any love I have ever experienced. On that day, 2nd September 2000, my question was answered… God is right here, I just had to let Him into my heart and my life.

My life has been utterly transformed. Jesus is as real as you and me. He can be found when you look. I promise you won’t have to look far. He’s not just in Oz!

Here’s a great place to come and look for him… www.destiny-church.com

About 4 months ago me and a friend of mine along with 2 other people were attacked outside of a night club. The attacker was in possesion of a knife and stabbed a total of 5 people that night. I had gotten stabbed a total of 3 times, one in the liver, one in the lung, and the worst one of all that was a milimeter away from my heart, and had actually cut the sack surrounding the heart. The doctor actually said when he walked into my hospital room to see me after the surgery, that it was like seeing a ghost because i had been so close to dying.

I had always believed in God but had kind of turned my back on him and his word, and was living a dangerous life of partying and drugs. I was in the hospital for about a week and was dealing with the attack very negatively and had alot of built up anger. Then one morning for no explainable reason i broke down and started to cry prefusaly, the nurse had seen me crying and came over to me. Nurses are generally not suppose to preach to patients but this time the nurse closed my curtains and she told me that jesus loved me and that he is calling me. She handed me a bible and layed out scriptures that really struck me because of how closely related they were to what i was feeling and was dealing with. She began to sing to me and i closed my eyes. At that moment i felt something that i had never felt before, and she knew it. She told me that jesus was there and that him and the lord are running towards me and reaching out there love to me. This made me cry uncontrollably, and to this day i beleive that she was either an angel or a messenger of the lord.

After our encounter i felt as if my shoulders had released a million pounds off of them and i felt fantastic. Me and my mother had a chat right after that and i had told her about what happened and began crying again. I had some past secrets that i was keeping from her about the drugs and partying and i ended up confessing all of these things to her and i felt a love that i had never felt before, both from god and my family.

I still to this day have some problems and temptations but i now have no question whether god spared my life that night and the feeling that i had while she sang to me leaves no question to his pressence in my room. I thank god for saving me, and i know he truly loves all his children.

My family is a very good family. My parents are swonderful Christians and have always showed me the love of God by the way they live. I have always been saved and for the most part of my life, I would say a pretty good Christian. Then high school came around. I went through “phases” where I would be all “Christian” and then turn around and down the road be TERRIBLE. This happened multiple time. I became a homosexual, a partier (drinking and weed), bad language, and was always putting people down. My life all changed when my parents found out about my lifestyle and I tried to kill myself. While laying in the hospital bed, watching my mom cry, I realized I had messed up BIG TIME and I had to find God again. A couple days later I went to a YoungLife camp at Windy Gap and my life did a 360. I was recommited to the Lord and I have been going uphill ever since. It took awhile to get over the pain, depression, and make a new reputation for myself, but now my life is amazing and God has blessed me beyond imaginable. Now I live as a follower of Christ and I am involved in many Christian youth groups/organizations and I live my life as an example of Christ. I thank God everyday for blessing me. I know he did not allow me to die in that hospital bed because he had better plans for me.

I want to tell everyone how I was healed and led back to God. In 2006 I was induced to have my son at 41 weeks pregnant. I was in labor for 31 long hours when my baby’s heartbeat began to drop. The doctor suggested a c-section and I agreed. I was scared to death that something might happen. I just had this feeling. I said a prayer with my mom when we went back to the operating room. I was a sinner and was lost , I believed in god but hadn’t asked for forgivness then. I had the csection and while in the recovery room I felt something heavy on my legs I asked my boyfriend (my babys father and husband now) to check and see if it was something on me and he said yes it’s blood. I started to hemmorage and the doctor took me back to emergency surgery. I was out like a light. I awoke to find out that I had been given a hysterectomy. I was 19 years old. I was in so much pain. I was bleeding so bad the doctor tried to stitch my uterus back together but it didnt work and I had three blood transfusions and the doctor told my mom I would deffinatley die if I didn’t have the hysterectomy. So she signed the papers. When he came back out he told the family that he has done all he can and the rest was up to God. That’s when everyone thought I wasn’t going to make it. They were making plans for where my son would live. My grandfather (may he rest in peace) KEPT PRAYING! praying more and more he had people praying in like 5 different states for me! Then a man came to the hospital. I was on a ventalator tube in my throat and couldnt talk or nothing. I was in an induced coma because of the pain I would have been in if awake the dr’s thought it was best. The man made a prayer group of people in my family holding hands and prayed for me . When he was finished praying he was smiling and laughing telling my mom that I was coming out of ICU in a matter of time and he KNEW I was coming out. He said the LORD told him I was. Well the next day I was up in the chair and talking without the tube! I was moved to a regular room the day after that and went home to be with my newborn son four days there after. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks all together. The lord god healed me and it happened through the power of prayer. I am so thankful for everything he has done for me today and the chances I’ve been given to accept Christ as my savior..

I accepted Christ and was baptized a month or so after this all happened. Four months later I backslid and started acting out and sinning a lot.  I was like 10 times worse in sin than I was before I gave my life to God. I commited adultrey, I was self harming and deeply depressed. I thought about suicide a lot. I was doing drugs/drinking, I was being a horrible mother to my son. I always loved him but I wasn’t there for him like I should’ve been. I have went back to church and plan on staying there. My husband and I want to raise our son up to know that God is always there for him. I have been saved so many times from drugs and adultry and my husband from alcoholism. He saved my marriage! I just wanted to share that God has changed my life for the better and I was nothing without him! Anything is possible with him!

There is something else on my heart that I wish to share. I was laying in bed and kept having thoughts about not being saved and not being right with God. I was praying and praying that It was the devil tempting me and telling me these things. I asked God if he was there with me let me know he is  there.. Please I begged. I was so confused of what to do. This was about a week ago. I begged for about an hour really. Then I was laying on my bed on my stomach with my face down and praying hard. I felt a presence standing beside my bed. I was over come  with emotions and I  know that it was jesus standing beside me letting me know that he was there. I did not move my head up to look to see him but I felt him there. I know that it was him! I started to thank God and worship him and cry loudly letting him know that I know he was with me. It was one of the most amazing experiences with God. I’ve known. I know that my Jesus loves me and he is with me no matter what the devil says he is a liar and he will keep lying ! I will not believe him because I’ve met Jesus now and he is with me always! I hope that this testimony will maybe touch someone’s heart and let them know that all you have to do is pray to him and he will show you the way and no matter what don’t give up because he is there and he is listening to you! He will never fail you and He loves you so much! All I did was kept praying and it was amazing to experience the love of Jesus. No I was not on drugs and no I was not drinking It was the power of God. TRUST IN HIM FOREVER! I love all of you. Your sister in Christ.

Dear Beloveds in CHRIST,

Holy wishes in the Name of my Savior!

I born in India to a Christian family. Although my parents lead me to discipline, I want to satisfy my friends and indulge me to all evils. In my school days I the one who make others to fall in sin, Gossiping and enjoying sin was our routine. I was oppressed by everyone, so I became a hater of people and had a terrorist mind, I will be very joy when I hear a death in news or something. I want everyone to be killed, But my Lord made me to give Life to everyone Hallelujah…

Until the age of 18 I had gone behind this world seeking all temporary items. But at the age of 18 by the compulsion of my neighbors I attended one week Prayer meeting in Elavur- Chennai.In that meeting they asked all to praise God with a loud voice, But I the one who open mouth only for gossip and bad words started praising God as Iam helpless. Although I cried many times for the oppression and depression I had, For the first time tears came in front of my Lord thinking my life’s way is very worst. Thats the time GOD picked me from the sinful mud in which iam landed for years, My inner eyes were opened, I submitted myself to my Lord, A new heart and mind blooms in me. I don’t know how my worries vanished, I feeled  iam set free from all bondages, a great deliverance bounded me, a joy of heaven fills my heart, Even though the tears reach the ground my Savior wiped it away, I started to hate sin than anything, I tried and begged my savior to wash away all sorts of sin which disturbs my mind & heart. I can’t do anything for the grace which HE showed upon me.

Thus Begins my SALVATION…

I always wonder that how my Lord saved me as Iam a worst sinner who is to be punished than anyone in the world. GOD itself revealed that I had a Salvation. It was not informed me by Pastors or Evangelists.

GOD tuned me to attain the high esteem of Holiness by Blessing Tv in which HE makes numerous changes in me through the WORD of GOD. Thus the unknown foolish activities peeled off from me day by day.

I am very happy to read the Word of God because after taking the Word which my Lord taught me I try every chance to obey that WORD.

I search every page in the Holy BIBLE to find a Word in which I can obey. GOD has revealed numerous knowledge to me by HIS WORD. Always I enjoy in them and happy to obey them.

I always had a great joy in obeying the Word of GOD. By this process I easily grow and step in to my Lord.

GOD using this servant in various tracks for His glory. Thanks to the Lord.

GOD has many plans for me and Iam waiting for my Lord’s Time.

I’m 13 and in 8th grade. I’m an seventh day adventist and was baptized into the church…so I call myself a christian; but i don’t feel like 1. I’ve been having problems lately…i’ve become very emotional. I began to cry for every little thing and wouldn’t know why…all I knew was that this type of behavior wasn’t healthy. I would call myself names such as: ugly, stupid, fat, untalented and worthless. I didn’t call myself these names because I was just upset…I actually feel like i’m those things. Ever since my grades dropped…including my music (which i’m supposed to be good at) I became very upset at myself. I once screamed at my reflection saying ” I hate you!” I’m really depressed these days…and I start to write poems that show my feelings. I don’t remember the last time I prayed…or the reason why I go to church. but i know that i feel like crap. I’m starting to be afraid…i didn’t quite know what my fears were…but i know know. I’m afraid of death…That I wont make it to the kingdom of God…that one day I might just die unsaved. i’m really sad…plz help me sum1