Testimony Share

About 3months ago, my brother moved out of our house and moved into my oldest brothers house. he was introduced to drugs there. On July 3rd, he overdosed on extacy and had 6. he should have died that night but buy the presents of god, he was healed in jesus name. He told god that if he could get him out of this mess, then he would serve him for the rest of his life. My brother cameron was depressed when he came back from college. he wanted my dads happiness and he thought that was through drugs. One day when he took acid, he saw demons and he was so scared and this drew him closer to god. So when god got Cameron sober, he told my brother the next day that he would move out and that drew him closer to god. I just thought i would share that my brother Cameron is doing great now and will never go back to that so called life again.

Story of Preecha Kongkitimanon’s conversion into Christianity

Compiled by Vachiravan Vanlaeiad

I had grown up and lived in the Chinese Sukhawadee Cemetery which is located in Nong Khae District, Saraburi Province, for 40 years. This cemetery is under the supervision of Thailand’s Poleng Chinese Association. My ancestors were Chinese emigrated from Mainland China (with the last name “Lim”) and settled down in Chonburi Province. At 7 years of age, I had since learned Feng Chui science and astrology from various teachers who had performed spiritual ceremonies in the cemetery.

I had started my work life concerning Feng Shui since I was 10 years old. I liked watching several Feng Shui ritual performances, for ex: communicating with spirits, suppressing evil spirits, performing rituals related to the dead, etc. Even at that tender age, I was extremely interested in these things, being able to memorize correctly and accurately methods of divination as well as various procedures of ritual performances regarding cemetery Feng Shui. I had thus started to study the science of Feng Shui, and realized that not only the knowledge was applied to the dead, but to the living also.

After having studied and practiced this science for not so long, I had commenced my career as Feng Shui consultant and leader at 20 years of age. I had been a renowned Feng Shui teacher and astrologer, having various outstanding customers: politicians, civil servants, business persons. Even other cemetery Feng Shui consultants in Thailand had come to consult me. The consulting fees were ranged from four thousand to more than hundred thousand Baht, depending on the level of difficulty. Most customers came on holidays and Sundays, my business was thus good and my income quite handsome and considerable. I had been acknowledged as a Feng Shui master. This had rendered me with the opportunity to work with a most excellent and famous Feng Shui consultant and master in Thailand in constructing various cemeteries.

In 1996, I had been hired by Sapan Luang Church to build and keep its new cemetery. While working for the church as head of cemetery technicians, I was also devoted my life to Feng Shui consulting business. However, every time I worked for the church’s cemetery, I could not help myself wondering why, despite these Christians having never used Feng Shui in burying their dead, it seemed they were living happy lives. On the contrary, the cemeteries which had been built using Feng Shui, could not render happiness to the descendents of the dead, resulting in the dead being unearthed and buried again. The reason behind that was, the descendants were not prosperous in both their personal lives and business. Read the rest of this testimony »

The enemy went to work early in my life through molestation from ages 5-9. Which is when my mother died and my family moved from the neighborhood perpetrator. Shortly after the move the child my mother delivered just 3 weeks before her death was given to an aunt to raise, leaving 3 brothers, my father, and grandmother. The not so comforting lie that God works in mysterious ways and His needing another flower in His garden put a bad taste in my mouth for pursuing a relationship with Him.

I began smoking at the age of 9 and very quickly moved to drugs and alcohol. At 12 I was arrested the first of 5 times. At 13 raped by a man in the local church and a victim of his fantasies which he forced his wife to perform with me. This was the beginning of a very promiscuous drug filled life.

June 30, 1993 I was invited to a church by my cousin and being the bitter soul that I was I quickly let him know I was not interested. He told me that it was not church as usual, he said, “you can truly feel the love and presence of God there.” That struck my curiosity as I had heard over the years how God needed a guitar player in heaven when my brother was killed, and He needed another flower in His garden when my father died, but when a cousin shot himself in the head I was told he went to hell. Therefore, love and God did not sound right in the same sentence.

I went to church that night and everyone was very nice. There was something different. The next day my grandmother died. After getting trashed the Friday after my grandmother died the Holy Spirit began wooing me back to the church. On July 4, 1993 I was born again, the message is just as clear and real to me today. When John 10:10 was declared by the pastor, it became alive in me and the revelation of God’s goodness overwhelmed me as His love embraced me. I knew that I knew the enemy had wreaked havoc on my life and not God. I fell so deeply in love with Jesus and he delivered me instantly of many things and the progression of healing was beautiful as I walked through the journey of restoration with Him.

He opened doors to jail ministry, I married a Christian man, and the Lord used me in awesome ways. Eight or nine years after a glorious walk with Jesus pride began to creep in because of the wonderful way God was using me and a situation occured which I became offended. I chose not to forgive my husband and my fellowship was eventually broken completely as I continued to refuse to forgive. I believed I had a right to not forgive and I began to worship the creation rather than the creator, myself. Fulfilling the lust of my flesh, God gave me up to uncleanness through the lusts of my own heart and I was given unto vile affections. I chose to give myself over to a relationship with a woman. I started taking prescription drugs to block out the conviction until I was, what looked like in the natural, a hopeless case.

In January 2008, in my broken state, I felt the presence of God beckoning me to return to Him. I had forgotten how to pray and could only respond with, “Lord let it be unto me according to your word.” I stepped out in faith toward the Lord and His faithfulness has brought restoration to me through His mercy and grace. In fact, He is even using this vessel in such a glorious way. I can boldly confess He is more ready and willing for the Peter’s to come back. Jesus is praying for us that our faith fail not and when we are converted we are to strengthen our brethren. I spent the year of 2010 and the first part of this year in Haiti, after a Word from the Lord. He performed many miracles where lives were both physically and spiritually saved. He deserves all the Glory!

Praise the Lord, Glory to Jesus Christ for his amazing love and grace and his holy and abundant mercy on us, thank you so very much dear abba, thank you papa, love you so much, amen.

Today, the Lord honored my prayer, I have been praying to him with my whole heart and soul, with great sorrow and tears to our father Jesus to save my best friend whom  I love so much in Jesus, I wanted him to be saved by the grace of God just as he saved me, throughout this one year i kept praying to Jesus for William to get saved and turn into a believer of Christ, the Lord promised me, gave me hope, gave me scriptures and promised he would save him, i read those scriptures, i would feel very happy  but soon i would feel getting doubts in my mind thinking, does it really happen? will God save him through my prayers? and my peace would go away, i knew it was all demonic thoughts in my mind which made it tough for me to remain in faith to what the Lord promised me in his scriptures that for a little while i have scattered you because my temples are lying in ruins, i will cleanse you, i will pour a new spirit in you and the day you become free from all your sins, i will rebuilt the ruins, i will bring you back together……..for the whole one year i continued my prayers for God to save him, whom i haven’t seen for one year, havent met since 28th June 2010, i could notice my life changed completely, my heart all new and renewed in Christ, my soul alive in Christ, the flow of living water  i can feel in my heart, i can feel it all in this one year, how can my lord not bless my friend with the same blessings and same changes as i have been going through? sure he will, i trust him so much and so i remained in my faith till date.

Now today, 28th July,2011, after one year and one month, I asked Lord in my prayers with great tears…..Papa, i have been praying to you for a year to bless William with your salvation and save him and his family, I do not see or hear from him, nor do i wish to see him unless he is changed and renewed in Christ but i  really want to know asto what is happening in his life? is he seeking you? answer me through your words and with those words i opened my bible and you know what i got?

Ezekiel 18:15,16,17

15 “He does not eat at the mountain shrines or look to the idols of the house of Israel. He does not defile his neighbor’s wife.

16 He does not oppress anyone or require a pledge for a loan. He does not commit robbery but gives his food to the hungryand provides clothing for the naked.

17 He withholds his hand from sin and takes no usury or excessive interest. He keeps my laws and follows my decrees. He will not die for his father’s sin; he will surely live.

Halleluiah, the Lord answered my prayers, he has honored my prayers of one year, he has saved him, he has saved his life, this brought great tears of joy and satisfaction in my heart after so long for the first time that i couldn’t stop myself thanking the Lord,  the Lord spoke to me directly through his words and there flows immense peace and joy so much that you can not handle it and can not stop thanking God for it which is the confirmation from God that he has honored my prayers and i need not worry now.

Then when i was filled with his love and peace i felt the Lord telling me to share this testimony with all of you, to those who are praying for their loved once with a pure and repentent heart, for them to know there is ALWAYS HOPE IN CHRIST so never ever give up on HOPE and faith on Christ, a prayer submitted with tears and a pure heart with always fulfilled by the Lord at his time, he honors a humble prayer.

I am so happy tonight that the Lord chose me to bring his lost sheep back to him, what a great Joy that he chose me to pray for him, he gave me the opportunity to serve him, thank you so much Jesus, i am so much looking forward to see my friend now at Lord’s appointed time.

Remain in your prayers, never listen to your mind’s sinful thoughts, reject them in jesus name and continue praying, he NEVER EVER disappoints an honest heart.

In Jesus name I pray, may he bless you all and answer all your prayers just as i got mine answered, Jesus loves you so much, amen.

I am writing this message to tell anyone who might be interested about my story, especially about how and why I came back from a life of serving myself and my own ego to a life of living for God and believing fully in the Bible and in Jesus as the true Son of God.  There will be some embarrassing details of my life here, but I only let go of my pride about it so that other people can see that I’m not holding anything back or being any kind of ‘religious’ man (like a Pharisee), but rather that I’ve had real encounters with the devil and with God, and that I now choose God very joyfully, very willingly…

Some people may not like it, and the devil sure will hate it, but I know that God already knows the details of all these things, and He has forgiven me, because I’ve asked….so I won’t let anyone else tell me I’m condemned or tell me that it wasn’t a sin, to get me back in ego mode….I know what I’ve done, and it’s all covered by the blood of Jesus…whether anyone likes it or not…I’ll try to keep it as short as I can…

My childhood wasn’t too different than most…but early on, I knew there was something very wrong about this world.  From as early back as I can remember, my father wasn’t around much, and by the time I was four, he was gone for good…never to return or explain why he wouldn’t or couldn’t be around.  Though my mom and adopted dad did their best to raise my brother and me, this still left me with a lot of unanswered questions…

Like most kids, I rebelled whenever the urge struck, but almost always was found out and corrected…I remember spending lots of time “in the corner” or on my bunkbed, with a sore bottom, crying and wondering why I couldn’t just behave, when I knew I was going to get caught and punished…I often agreed that I needed to be punished, but hated to have to go through with it again…but what was the answer?  I snuck out of bed in the middle of the night to eat forbidden food, and was mean to my little brother just because I was older and bigger…just because I could…

But then as I got a little older, my family started going to church regularly…back in Clyde, Texas, when I was bout 9 or 10 years old.  We went to a not-so legalistic, but very loving fellowship, led by Pastor Don Stone. (I actually got a chance to call him and talk to him and his wife Ginger recently. I called him to thank him for what he did for me. He obeyed God and gave me a prophecy, which was not allowed by the leadership of that church, but encouraged in the Bible (we must obey God rather than men, in that case Acts 5:29)

Everything he told me in that prophecy came true. He had the whole church sing like, 5 or 10 extra songs so he could tell me all this in the baptismal before he baptized me.  He said that he knew I loved God and Jesus with all my heart, but that it didn’t matter, God showed him I was going to run from God for years and years…He said I would deny that I believed in Jesus if anyone asked, and I sure wouldn’t bring it up on my own. But He said that the whole time I ran I would really still believe, just not act very faithful. He called this period “Going Through the Woods”. He said I would run from my calling (he let me lead singing in church when I was 10 yrs. old), and use what was meant for God for my own selfish reasons.

He said that I while I was in the woods I would use it as an excuse to do all kinds of things I knew that God didn’t approve of. He showed me all kinds of ways in the Bible where Peter let Jesus down, and denied Him, even though he really did believe. Then he said that finally I would get really beaten down, and broken to the point of agony, and I would finally drop to my knees and ask God to rescue me….and that when I did, Jesus would pick me up and take me out of the woods.

But on the way out, he would show me the woods again, only this time from His perspective, and I would see that the only reason I made it far enough to cry out to Him was that he had been there the whole time, very close, watching over me. And he said that once I saw that, I would never really run from God again, and like Peter I would finish strong, and only occasionally stumble. And even then I would confess immediately, and therefore spare myself the curses of living in sin, among which is death itself.

And he said God had the whole thing planned out, because he knew it would make me so mad at the devil that I would rally to save other people from the same traps and fates, and finally very willingly and gratefully do the very things God wanted me to do, not even seeing them as work or trouble, but as a pleasure and an honor that I get to serve Him!! I’m paraphrasing since it’s been 30 yrs, but you get the idea…he also said that having a history would help keep me humble, like all the apostles.  That way, I wouldn’t be tempted to judge people or write them off, because I had a lot of experience with open disobedience to God, and could empathize…

At any rate, everything happened just like he said it would, and I knew when he said it that God and Jesus were right there with him, and that it was the gospel truth. And I was a little afraid about it, but also excited, and I kept thinking, “I’ve got to get this trip through the woods out of the way so I can get on to really serving God!”

And so, a few years later, my parents got offended by some folks at church, and we stopped going altogether…I don’t even remember my friends inviting me to much either…but even still, for a while, I did my best to avoid going into open rebellion to God. 

I wouldn’t even go out with my Christian friends who had cars, because they would want to go drinking or smoking weed, or “looking for love in all the wrong places”….I even continued to read my bible whenever I could talk myself into it.  And an amazing thing happened:   I kept reading in the new testament where the apostle John (the Baptist) and Jesus and Paul kept saying there were two baptisms, one by water, and one by the Holy Spirit…

And I just knew that if it was true, I wanted both…and so far I’d only had the water….and even Jesus assured that God, being the best of all dads, would eagerly give the Holy Spirit to those who ask (Luke 11:13)….well, I’m pretty sure that I went ahead and asked….at least once or twice…but it was enough….then one day, when I was in the best of moods, thankful to God for life…I started speaking in another language that I didn’t even understand, praising God…this went on for quite a while, but I guess I didn’t bother sharing it with anyone, because I wasn’t even quite sure what it was myself….since I’ve come back to believing fully in Jesus, I recognize that this was my prayer language from God….

And I can tell you that I totally believe that this gift and anything Jesus mentioned we could do are still available to us today.  God even sent me in to academia to verify it….

I got a college degree a few years ago in Linguistics, the study of language in general. 

I took Biblical Hebrew as one of my main languages.  Many years later, at church on a Wednesday night, I heard my good friend speaking Hebrew…a friend who had never studied it.   Though it had been many years, I knew it was real….it’s kind of like hearing Spanish….you may not understand everything, but you know that it’s Spanish…no other language sounds just like it…

Sometimes it’s a language that already exists (like they did on the day of Pentecost, Acts 2), and sometimes it’s a ‘new tongue’ (Mark 16:17)…sometimes it’s the languages or ‘tongues’ of angels (1 Corinthians 13:1)…so, I would never dismiss it even if it sounds out of this world…and whatever you think of this practice, if you are a Christian, I would encourage you to always believe what Jesus said about it (Mark 16:17), no matter what religious men or denominations or the world tells you about it…no matter how impressive their credentials…I mean, that’s kind of the whole point isn’t it…trust God over men…trust Jesus above the Pharisees?  Remember, even the apostle Paul said “do not forbid to speak in tongues.” (1 Corinthians 14:39)…

At any rate, I do speak in tongues now.  I have my own prayer language with God, which anyone can get if they are seeking the real baptism of the Holy Spirit….it is available for all…it may be the least of the gifts of the Spirit, but it is still better than the best of the gifts of the devil or of the world…

Well even though I got this gift in my teens, I still ran from God for many years, just like the prophesy, and stopped talking with God in any way, really.  Not even a prayer now and then…and I tried to be a ‘self-made man’, working two jobs and going to school full-time, and hardly ever sleeping, hoping it would all pay off with “the good life”…

At times I would take long breaks from school, and spend most of my free time playing in bands, trying to be a rock star…though that may not have been my main ambition, I did want to have the glory for myself instead of making it about God or even giving Him credit….I knew that any and all talent and inspiration and creativity I had came from Him, but I didn’t want to share the truth about Him…after a while our band, had some minor league success, and even a major publishing deal for our songs…but not before I had to pay an incredible price…

While on the way to record our first album for a crummy little record label, I was literally attacked by demons!  I don’t really care if anyone thinks I’m crazy for saying so, but that’s exactly what happened…and I deserved it!  I was in open rebellion to God, making music all about myself and for myself and vain glory, smoking weed, cigarettes, drinking booze, cussing, and other things to show I didn’t really care what God thought about holiness or what I was up to…

It all came to a boiling point when, at a little rest stop on the highway in Pennsylvania, we decided to stop and take a nap at around 3 in the morning.  None of us had slept much for a week or so, because of our excitement….We were listening to Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid” album at full blast (as a way to wind down and relax for our nap…hey, I think we were ALL a little crazy at that point??)….when all of a sudden, I felt totally paralyzed, like I couldn’t move or speak if I wanted to, and I saw these two shapes, like grey-white smoke or fog, coming towards me from the front speakers of the van….and then they entered me, and as soon as they did, WHAM!!  I felt the biggest pain in my chest I’ve ever felt (the devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy John 10:10). 

I really thought I was having a massive heart attack, the kind you really couldn’t come back from…I didn’t even want to say a word to my band mates (and really, I was still sort of paralyzed), figuring that it would just get their hopes up that they could help me.  I figured even if they called an ambulance, I would be dead before it reached me.  This was just another way the devil was lying to me, and I had fallen for way too much of his talk already. 

But the pain just kept on coming, harder and harder, for ten or twenty minutes, which was the only thing that changed my mind about telling them, and I just couldn’t stand it anymore.  I thought, even if I get ANY relief before I die, better than none!  I never did get it checked out, but it kept happening, for days, weeks, even years…though I managed to control these “panic attacks’ more and more, I never revealed what I knew to be the cause of them for many years….that’s how stubborn I was about running from God and His answers (though I know I said a prayer to Him that night, which is sure to be the only reason I’m still here…).

Since that time, but only recently (for the last year and a half), I have been working for a Christian deliverance ministry that helps people get free from all kinds of attacks on their life from the enemy of their souls…casting out demons, shutting down spirits of delusions and diseases, and healing people.  And I’ve seen some crazy things, but it’s all very real….even physics defying kind of stuff. 

One time, a lady came down for ministry, and she got so attacked that literally, she was being held up off the ground by spirits, a battle between angels and demons…she let out a bloodcurdling scream that lasted an impossible two solid minutes, really loud, and for the last part of that time, her mouth was shut and the back of her head was laying on her spine, while her hands were touching behind her back, just impossible contortions…and then she collapsed like a pile of bones in the floor, while the two ministers helping her hovered around her and prayed….

About five minutes later…the lady was sitting up in a chair, happy and peaceful as can be, fully delivered from that attack!!  I say this all to the glory of God, and that anyone really wanting God to prove Himself and prove these things still happen will see for themselves! 

well, back then, after I started to get healed from being attacked, I didn’t even stop trying to be a rock star, but just kept lying to myself and telling myself it was all OK.  That is, until my first kid was born.  I quit smoking on that day, and really didn’t pursue being an ‘artist’ with original music in the secular world anymore.  But I did keep on drinking and playing music in the bars, whatever cover songs we liked that people would actually listen to.  Mostly these ‘gigs’ never did pay much, except free beer.  And since that was the case, I figured I needed to get my money’s worth….(and if that ain’t the devil talking, I don’t know what is…).

So, we’d play probably two or three times a month…but then one day, because of a special BBQ party that went a little long, I wound up getting paid in beer for ten straight hours in a row!  I was pretty pickled, and then I went to put my gear in my van at 2AM, and saw that I was the only car out on the road except a police car…so I decided to walk home (only a mile), but they got me for public drunk…

I was beligerent to the cop, and to his credit, he kept his cool and never even responded.  I told him sarcastically that I really loved the way they arbitrarily enforce the public drunk laws…(seemed to me on OU football game days, everyone was public drunk, but you had to start a fight to get arrested….)..

Later, on the cold floor of the drunk tank, where sleep was not even possible, I had a lot of ‘alone time’ with God….I didn’t really hear His voice, but these questions in my head that weren’t coming from me…..He asked:

“So you think that this public drunk thing is pretty unfair, huh?”

“Yeah, Lord, it sucks….really bogus.”

“OK…but think about this for a minute:  How many times did you actually wind up driving drunk, fully aware of the laws, probably very impaired?”

(here I just counted quickly somewhere between 20 and 40 times, easily)

“OK, now what do you think prevented you from getting killed on those nights, or killing others by your negligence, or getting arrested?”

“Uhm, that must have been You…Your Grace…”

“OK, now tell me, out of all those times, how many arrests do you think it would have taken for them to lock you up and throw away the key?”

“Uhm…probably about three?”

“Good guess…now how about this public drunk thing?  Still unfair?”

(this is where I just kind of melted and truly experienced the grace that He had given me so far…it was too much to take in…it was not only more than fair, it was actually unfair to my advantage…and what I was complaining about was actually something I should’ve been very, very grateful for…I’m sure I let Him know what I was thinking and thanked Him, but everytime someone wasn’t looking me directly in the face, I was bawling like a little kid, as silently as I could…

Later on in the morning, about 7AM, I got released into the general population, where I stayed for about 4 hours or more…it was very much like a real prison…and God was showing me around.  It was around Christmas time:

“Look around at all these guys in here….do you think many of them are going to get some calls Christmas cards this year, from their families and friends?”

“No, Lord….no they’re not….I don’t think so.”

“Do you think that there’s alot of people on the outside that give a rip about them?”

“No, Lord…I don’t.”

(and here’s where a long pause came while God waited for me to make the offer, though I knew I couldn’t bargain with Him)…

“I’ll come visit them, Lord….Help me do what I can to encourage them and let them know somebody cares, and that you love them, Lord….I’ll come in and play some music for them…whatever you want, Lord.”   

And so, I started out thinking I could get a group together for a Christmas concert, but it was more complicated than that….the county jail said they didn’t really have musicians come play, but that I could try to do it at the prisons…but the Oklahoma Department of Corrections wanted me to write a 3 page letter with the ‘mission statement’ of my ‘ministry’…

And I didn’t even know if they’d really let me in when they figured out I didn’t have any credentials, or an official ‘ministry’….so it took me a couple of years to even get the courage and the energy to try it….and they let me in right away…and I’ve been doing it for about five years now…and not long after that, I started going in to a local rescue mission a couple of times a month to do a chapel service, playing the music and giving a talk out of the Bible…and in last year, I’ve been trying to go to nursing homes and senior centers to play some music for the residents…but all because of God’s leading, and me being very, very aware of His amazing grace, and hoping to share it with any and all…

But I need to back up, because even after the gradual slowdown for the selfish rock ambition, according to Jesus, I was already committing adultery….because He said that even if you only look at a woman with lust, you’re already committing adultery with her in your heart….and during this time I was addicted to pornography, and though it was dubbed ‘soft core’, the addiction itself was hardcore, for about 4 years…

And I was a tortured soul….though I had everything this world had to offer by that point, success in my chosen ‘career’ field, a beautiful wife and young son, lots of possessions, musical gear, a touring van, the ‘respect’ (which often was more like envy) of many fellow musicians, even the ones far more successful than me (with the fortune and fame part of the deal)…

Though I had all these things, and lived in practically a mansion compared to what most people have, and plenty of other blessings, I wasn’t really thankful in any significant ways, and I couldn’t sleep most nights…just tormented by guilt and shame and panic and worries, and the sense that the most important element of life was missing…but never really willing to try God…not quite yet…though we were constantly being invited and asked to go to church at that point, neither my wife or myself would ever really take them up on the offer…always making up the lamest of excuses, anything…to get out of it.

I have to say that although I now appreciate that many folks around me were doing their best on their own to try and help me, no one was really pointing me to God or giving God credit for their own peace or prosperity…and the few believers I knew at that point were pretty judgmental and not such a good example…but God used it all to show me not to rely on what other people say or do, whether religious or not….and it was not about them, it was about my own rebellious nature…pointing fingers never fixed the real problems, but always made it all much, much worse…

And all this finger pointing eventually led me to the other biggest mistake I made, other than seeking rock and roll fame and fortune….really committing adultery on my wife, essentially putting an end to a dying relationship, dying from a lack of God’s presence and wisdom, as well as from my unwillingness to be any kind of responsible or humble head of household.  Instead I let my wife take control of much of what should have been my duties, and it didn’t really matter if she was willing to step in or not, I should never have allowed it to go there…

So I justified my cheating on her by reminding myself of some crazy things she had been doing to me, which was mostly her way of taking control since I wouldn’t….and then I couldn’t lie about it when she confronted me and asked about it, and it was all over from there…a mistake which I am still in some ways paying for, not getting much time with my kids even some 10 years later….

But God has assured me He’s forgiven me, and that there is redemption in this life and in the life to come….and anyone who’s ever really known Jesus instead of “Mere Christianity” as C.S. Lewis calls it, knows that is true, and that He keeps His word.   Look at the thief on the cross if you need a reminder that anyone can be saved and redeemed…and then if you’re not in his situation, and aren’t about to be put to death for your crimes, then there is redemption in the here and now for you, too….

And this is still true for you, whether you’ve ever believed in God or Jesus Christ before or not…as long as you’re willing to turn from your ways and surrender your life to Him and admit you’re like the rest of us, that none of us have any righteousness on our own, apart from what He brings.  All anyone has to do is ask Him for His help, admit your mistakes and sins to Him.  Like any good dad, He has to correct His kids…no good dad lets His children run out in the street and get themselves in danger and trouble without getting corrected.  The parents that do that are the ones that really don’t care. 

But God really really does care, He’s the best dad, the Grand Daddy of all good dads…He says try Him and see…because He knows that if you really did give Him a good earnest, honest try, you could never deny Him again….He will show up big time and take your heavy load from you, and give you peace, joy, hope, and love unequaled by anything or anyone of this world…all that and much, much more…

There is much more I could bring up about myself to prove to you that I, like everyone else, am prone to becoming a depraved heathen without the constant presence and wisdom of the Lord with me at all times…for instance, I was also super critical of all the world’s governments, especially the US goverment…but one thing I can tell you for sure, after being on the holy side of spritual warfare for a while now…is that judging people in power and becoming jaded and hateful towards people who are evil, does nothing to make us more holy, but rather, it’s the devil’s oldest trick, and turns us into the very thing we despise….

And any true follower of Jesus knows that our battle is not against people, that we should never judge or hate people, because “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”  (Ephesians 6:12)

In other words, we wrestle against Satan and evil spirits, and not the people they might be temporarily working through.  ‘Cause you know, Jesus could do a last minute save of those people like He did with the thief on the cross, and then, well, to put it very mildly, we’re going to be left holding the bag, looking like the biggest of all fools, with nothing left to defend ourselves with…

So, I know this is like a little novel, and say a special “I’m sorry” to anyone who fell asleep several times on the way through reading this, and thank you for getting this far!  I do hope and pray that you will really consider what I’ve said here, and not write it off, or write me off, that you think I’ve really finally lost my mind, when in fact, I just now really found it. 

Believe me, life gets pretty surreal whether you’re serving God or running from Him, but it was a big part of my spiritually awakening when I discovered that no one ever really tried to crusade to save me from myself and ego delusions and drinking booze, but as soon as I got out of that life, one of my friends crusaded to save me from Jesus!  He said he was concerned that I was using Jesus as a ‘tonic’.   I told Him very calmly that He never was worried when I was using tonic (booze) as a tonic, when that was what was actually killing me, and that Jesus hasn’t done anything but save me from tonics that don’t really work! 

Also, people from the bar scene ‘worried’ about me, when they found out I wasn’t playing in bars partly because I couldn’t stand the cigarette smoke.  They kept asking me if there was sure there wasn’t ”something wrong” with me, and if I couldn’t just get a doctor to give me something to be able to stand the smoke.   Wow!  I just had to tell them….sorry, but it’s poison!  I tried to tell them that they’re all allergic to it, too, but they’re usually too drunk to feel their lungs till the next day…and then they choose to forget the pain and hangovers next time they go out…PLUS, there just wasn’t anything compelling me to want to be in a bar…I still love the people, but the bar scene is the most depressing, uninspiring place I’ve ever been…and I hate to see anyone doing that to themselves…I hate that I was willing to bless it for so long…and what it did to me…

It all just proves that a person can tell themselves anything to justify their next bad move…but God bless us all…if God can pull me out of that world, He can get the most stubborn of all those who remain, and I hope and pray that He does quickly and mercifully…

Anyway, God bless you all.  I have to say to all my friends and family that I am sending this to, that I do hope and pray for many holy and happy reconciliations between God and all of us, and between each other….in the here and now, soon and very soon….on Earth as it is in Heaven… where the circle is definitely unbroken….this fallen world is getting old, old, old, and it has to go…to be replaced by the one God always intended….personally, I can’t wait…..

peace and love to you all,

Mark Lewellen

 I was baptized on Palm Sunday in 2006. Ever since, I have been struggling with many issues in my life. And almost  to the point of giving up.  I have prayed and  asked for forgiveness for my backsliding, and it feels like I can never reach the point of spirituality I had in 2006. In 2006,  I experienced happiness, sadness, every possible obstacle that I could bear. Some were victories, others were losing battles,  all were overcame with the help of  the Lord in Jesus Name.  Right now Im struggling with my life, whether its financial problems, mental and physical health problems, I just cant seem to overcome them.  I have thanked the Lord graciously because I know my situation could be much worse and have prayed for those suffering tremendously. I  ” had” a little inkling of hope that maybe one day the Lord would remember me, and bless me with the strength to make it.  Every day, its getting harder and harder for me to deal with. I pray, but I  dont experience the spiritual connection I had with God in 2006. It feels like  what I have done or said for that matter is unforgivable and therefore  shall not receive any repreieve.  I understand suffering is a way of life…your weaknesseses are glorified in the Lord. I understand that Christ died for our sins.  Its the “feeling”  that I cant overcome my situation ,that drags me further into the pit of hopelessness.  My prayers seem futile in comparison with the sins I have commited. When the  loneliness in this world becomes unbearable, I  have always believed  in  turning  to the Lord for understanding and strength.  But when that doesnt work, and all of your prayers go unanswered,  what can I do?

Thanks for taking the time to read my testimony. Its not a testimony of joy, but nonetheless its  my testimony.

Ayyy what’s crankin’ folks? Yeah, mine is about love and relationships; one in particular that took me through A WHOOOLLLE lot to say the least.

My testimony starts years back (I’m 23 by the way). Back when I was a kid, I was generally lazy, un-motivated, sarcastic, but yet I was always intrigued by the idea of marriage/love. Watching movies like Lion King and seeing TV shows where an entire series would end in someone getting married would capture me as well. So I think its pretty safe to say I’m a sweetheart. Always have been, always will be. Apparently, God knows that (Get back to that later).

So fast-forward past middle-school, up to 9th grade. During this time, I could’ve been called a bit of a self-rascist because ALL I saw out of my fellow African-Americans was “ghetto-ness”, fighting, insulting, loudness, etc behavior. So going by this at that age, I wanted no part of any girl who even resembled those actions; namely, NO black girls. So I had a gym class (which I would voluntarily do nothing in) and due to my nerdy nature back then, I didnt have the gall to approach a girl first. So due to my infatuation with Hispanic girls, one showed an obvious interest in me, so we eventually “got-together”. Almost 5 years I spent “with her” but I was held back in HS due to my lazy ways and she got transferred to another school and graduated on time. Sometime during the close of this “relationship”, her LITTLE COUSIN, not her, told me she had another boyfriend. Instantly I bailed. I was more angry than anything else at the time. So I stayed out of her life which meant very little as she went on to have a kid and all that. During this time before my senior year, I had looked at a career in the US Navy. I dont even know why I did because I was still lazy, still didnt like direction, still unmotivated and it had nothing to do with my talent which was drawing. But yet, the idea of wearing that sailor uniform amazed me. I would look at pictures of my dad and put my head on his body in my mind and I was legitimately excited to get to the point of wearing it. Atleast until a recruiter came to my house and I hid so I wouldn’t have to do any actual work or exercise in boot camp. (More on the Navy later).

So towards the end of MY 5 year HS time, there was a white girl I was interested in (for the wrong reasons of course) and she was the first girl I actually pursued, being the nerd I was. After almost HALF my senior year, I had to try to win her over. We eventually “got together” and we even graduated together. 3 weeks that relationship lasted. There was no hard feelings towards each other; we just fizzled out.

On to college. By the time I graduated HS, my love for drawing was sucked completely dry by teachers, friends, parents, etc. constantly dictating me that if I don’t have a career in art, I’m an idiot. I was being told what to draw, and when to draw. But for some reason I went ahead to a vocational type of school for art. I didnt even want to go to ANY school after HS was over. I just wanted to work and have some money like everyone else. There was a girl; who was black (WHAT?!) and kind of heavy. Everything I was against in middle school and high school. She was with one of the friends I made in college and he obviously wasn’t happy with her. But due to my then retarded, ignorant mind back then, I would tell him, “why so miserable? You get to (do the nasty) whenevr you want! She keeps throwing it at you and you’re not happy?” Man, was I stupid. She would insult me everytime she saw me and I would HAPPILY return the favor. They broke up, and yet she would still hang around us when we all would ride the train home everyday. She eventually added me on MySpace. While I was confused, I talked to her anyway and she said “I like you”. Thinking with something that obviously wasn’t my brain or feeling with my heart, I said yes to the offers. All of them. I now know why my friend was so miserable. Any “actions” she did had an ulterior motive (kids too soon), she was very clingy, almost stalker-ish, and very annoying in general. I had to get out of that one, or the only reason we’d ever talk after marriage would be about “intimacy”. After I broke it off, she would still continue with the random visits to my house, 4:30 AM phone calls literally 5 minutes apart, and repeated questions of can we get back together. I had to dodge her every time I went to classes. But I was kicked out of that school for MORE laziness. Which brings us to the girl that had a hand in changing me and bringing me closer to God.

I was broke, so I got this job at an indoor amusement park. Initially, I was reserved and quiet (like I was in elementary and middle school) because my co-workers were in my eyes, immature, promiscuous, and just stupid all together in my opinion. I was trying to stand out in the job by going above and beyond for the management and customers. After a year of not getting noticed for it, I fell into that crowd of “idiots” I couldn’t stand at first. Everything that you aren’t supposed to do while at work, WE DID. We drank, smoked marijuana, hid from customers, and generally did not care about our jobs. The only thing I DIDN’T do was the sex thing. I have never had a “one-night stand” in my 23 years of life and I wasnt about to start there to impress co-workers who were younger than me. So the males ones would crack jokes about me never having girls come in to visit me or how I wouldn’t try to get a girl’s phone number while on the clock. This didn’t bother me because I wanted a girlfriend. So one day, while on break, cup full of vodka, I went to another store in that mall where a friend of mine worked and I was just bringing her some drink as well to get her through her work day. During the light convo, she just stopped and looked at me and asked if I had a girlfriend. Stunned, I said no, thinking is she about to ask me out? (She was Hispanic, so I would’ve been very enthusiastic to say yes). She gave me her cell phone and told me to put a number of her friend’s in my phone. This is how I know it was different from the beginning because I would NEVER respond to a “hook-up/blind date” arrangement ever. Back in the day I would delete the number as soon as I left the person who gave it to me. I texted her, and she was already told of my existence by the Hispanic girl. So I just kept it going until my phone was cut off. I let it go. In my head I was just like “what’s the point? I dont even know what she looks like or sounds like or how she is as a person. No biggie.”

So I just carried on working at that stupid 2 day a week job. Getting high, getting tipsy, and being the only way I knew how. Lazy. So one day on Facebook, the Hispanic match-maker sent me a post on my wall asking what time I work so her and her niece could get on some rides and play some games for free. I told her, expecting it to only be her and her niece. The day came, and surely the two of them walked in…but there was a 3rd person. The girl who I had been texting with a month before. I didn’t know this then, but I was staring at the woman who I would eventually want to marry and she would change me in a major way. They got on some rides operated by me and I could not stop taking glances at this third person. So when it came time for them to leave, the Hispanic match-maker friend just out of nowhere introduces us. I was instantly blown away. I was texting HER?!! She’s gorgeous! But then the self-conscious nerdy side came out because I could barely utter a word when she complimented how “cute in my green I looked”. (Green’s my favorite color by the way). I gave her a casual salute and a light smile and she did the same. I found her on MySpace later that week and we picked the talking back up again. Home numbers were exchanged and eventually we were a couple. I had a girlfriend again. I was in Earthly bliss.

Next day at work, she came to see me during my shift. I was miserable before that. I was threatened by a customer, I was completely forgot about as far as getting a break was concerned, and the weed I smoked hours before effects wore off. I was highly miffed. Then I saw her looking around the park for me. Then she finally spotted me and came to the ride I was doing. I was instantly happy. She was even standing at the controls of the ride I was doing with me. But that first kiss…..that first kiss was MAGICAL. We both stated it felt like we were together for YEARS with how comfortable we were around each other. I wasn’t used to that as before I would wait atleast 2 weeks before I’d even kiss the girl I was with at the time. But not her. ANOTHER DIFFERENCE. I didn’t want to leave her at the end of the work day. But alas, as humans, things happen.

Problems started. The more we talked, the more about her very dark past was revealed to me. I thought MINE was…mine didn’t hold a candle. But I couldn’t just up and leave even though I would’ve had it not been a relationship forged by God. Over time she began to tell me she felt like she was losing herself and she was telling me to leave before she hurt me. I thought nothing of it, and reassured her I was there for her. Oh if only I wasn’t so naive and blinded by love. She cheated on me after visiting an ex. She asked me before if I had trusted her to go to an exes house. Me trying not to be like another one of her exes, I said yes and told her to go on about her business. Oh how naive I was. She told me over Facebook and normally if I was told that by a girl I was with, the phrase “Kill Yourself” would’ve been my response. But I was frozen in my chair. Stunned. Heartbroken. But there was a feeling that wouldn’t let me type in the evil comment or even think to say that to her EVEN after what she did. We talked by phone the same night and once again I said we’ll work through it. I thought the worst was over. Wrong again.

It took a wee bit of time, but we would talk about what needed to change and where we both were coming from in regards to the relationship as a whole. She expected me to pierce her with an evil comment but when I didnt, her world was flipped upside down. She began proclaiming that I was what love was. I was too flattered but I guess God/Jesus wasn’t havin’ that. Then the whackness really started to kick in. I started to trust her less even after I told myself I was over it, resentment and negativity started bubbling way over the top. Disagreements that we had joked about in the very beginning started becoming real issues. My laziness, her pre-occupation with sexual things (songs, movies, etc) started to worry me, as well as both of our stubborn natures to not abandon how we were comfortable living. I was always a Christian, but I was more of a talker and not a do-er. Because of her previous experiences with her family, friends, exes, life, she would often say things that were almost Atheistic, and it would bother me, just as when we would talk about goals and stuff, my LACK of a goal or motivation bothered her. So one day, she broke it off yet again.

This time it was because I didn’t have a goal or motivation. In my head I’m like “What?! You skank!” I broke my principles and forgave her when she did the lowest possible thing to me just to get rid of me and “find herself” and I get the axe?! I had lost my job, my dad lost his job and thus NOBODY in my house was working (STILL), and on top of a crappy economy, I get dumped for a stupid reason like that? I was heated…but that anger eventually blended with depression. I hated seeing that mall I used to work in where we met or taking buses we used to take or going places we used to go. Painful memories indeed.

I lost sleep (which I never do) over her. I hated every song I would play that would “dedicate” to me. I hated the idea of knowing that she was alive even. So during the crying, drinking, weed usage and anger, I made the decision to do that “last resort” I used to make fun of in HS and I said I’d never try again; the US Navy. I was just driven by anger and hatred for her that I was willing to break my chronic laziness to make sure I never ran into her or any new man she may be with ever again. I was never so motivated to do anything in my life. But even after this, her birthday came. Here 18th birthday. We had talked so much about about all that was going to take place on that day, and when she was celebrating it without me, I was done…I reached the lowest point I ever was in life. I went out to my back porch for a cigarette to calm me down, and it didnt work. I came so close to the edge of blind rage, until I just dropped down in tears and cried out to God. I just wanted a sign; ANY sign that there was a woman for me to love. That there was that someone I’ve wanted since elementary school. Someone who’d marry me later on in life.

Suddenly, I couldn’t cry anymore. I even tried to force the tears to come out. But they wouldn’t. I got up feeling a new kind of peace. Later on, I was on the computer when my phone rang. It was her. But she was in tears. I asked what her problem was, and she could barely utter out any word before she hung up. I smiled….thinking was that the sign? Of course I didn’t believe it fully. But she called again later that night. We talked for a little while. Still a tiny bit of anger left towards her, but we talked. She asked how I’d been….great question, right? I told her how I’d been and what I wanted to do with the Navy. She didn’t like it, but for some reason she supported me. I explained that I didn’t wanna finally have a goal and have no one to share anything with and she said “I dont think you’ll have to worry about that”. Still wary, I took it for what it was. It took a while for us to get “back together” because of what she was going through. Her father had recently passed away as well as other things. She just couldnt tell me at the time and used that “goal” thing as a cover pretty much. We weren’t together, but she would call me to hang out with her, I’ve been in her house, met her brother, sister and did regular couple stuff. ANOTHER principle broken of mine. I would NEVER hang out with or ever acknowledge an ex, but there something to her. We both stated long before how we felt that we were led together by God. Sadly, if that was looked at more often then it was, it would’ve been so much more time-saving and emotion-sparing. I never forced getting back together but she knew I wanted more than anything to be with her again. We were already acting like a couple; how far off is ACTUALLY saying it? Everytime we’d try to patch it up on out own accord, negative thoughts would get to running and it would be broken off again, and again. My anger towards her just became a slight irritation what with the repeated break-ups, and the fact that she would ask me constantly “What are you thinking?”. She knows I was a generally non-chalant, negative thinking person but yet insisted on asking me that ALL THE TIME. I wouldn’t want to tell her because it was always negative. Either about her cheating while I’m at boot camp, or something involving my family situation. So she broke it off again because she “couldn’t deal with that in her life right now and we were meant to be friends”. Really? Anyhoo, before all that, I looked at what I’d be getting into joining the Navy. I’d have this “sanctuary” for me and my wife, my self-image problem would improve as I was always small for my age and boot camp would probably fix it, laziness, finances, confidence, direction and honor. Which told me that maybe I was supposed to do this all along. I HAD to “deny myself”. Reading this in scriptures and other testimonies gave me that feeling of peace again and no doubt strengthened my faith in Christ.

Aside from the Navy, I went back an analyzed everything that happend in tha relationship and the good that came out of it. I learned forgiveness, holding my tongue, faith, and what repentance is. As I mentioned before, I liked altering my consciousness and I was forced into a situation where I HAD no choice but to repent with the Navy. No drugs, no laziness and putting foot to your claim of faith. Since the beginning there have been sings that tell me she can’t be just a friend or she’s just another ex.

We met differently, we BOTH weren’t looking for a partner at the time, things we’ve spoken have actually taken place, we both forgave things we would never have in previous relationships, I called out to God and he answered through her, we both felt like we were led to each other, God has even played ANY role in this, and things spoken about future events line up with present ones and my mother AND brother who both have images or precognitions about me and her in a family setting.

There was a time when I first asked my friend to bring her over to my house as she wanted to hang out with me and my friends. She and my mother have both been through the same things in life and when I saw them hugging for the first time, the thought ran through my head that “if we’re gonna be married, they’ll probably have a heart-to-heart about life since they can relate to each other in some ways”. Then months later, she told me over the phone that she had a weird feeling that she and my mother would have a long talk one day, but I wouldn’t be there to see or hear it. So after the last break-up, I started piecing together that among other things, and I asked “what could possibly have me away from home, but she comes over long enough to talk to my mother?”. Then it hit me: Navy.

Which would probably explain why I believe God is working on the both of us. I remember, my bro and mom told me they saw me wearing all white in their images a few times long before I blindly decided to join the Navy. Now I know this was obviously a white sailor’s uniform. So I was putting forward the effort to leave in a month where they have the white ones and not the Navy blue uniforms. I did this from April to May. I had a strong feeling I would leave for boot camp in June, and I got a startling call from my recruiter asking if I wanted to leave IN JUNE. I was elated! God heard me! My happiness with God was so great that they day after, when my ex broke up with me again, it bothered me not at all. No tears, no anger, no drinks, no drugs, nothing. I have gotten numerous other signs (or atleast I believe they are signs) from God about her and I am still in the discerning stages. But I never lose the faith I have that we will be together again, but in Christ. She’s one of those stubborn “I’m living for me” type of people who do what they are used to doing no matter how many consequences they suffer through.

In all that’s happened, I realized God was conditioning me. With the forgiveness, laziness, motivation, faith, trust, etc. It was terrible to me then, but it was all meant for my own good. And soon it will be hers. Even if she has to make a “brief return to her old life (a jerky guy)” before she can’t take anymore and accept that God is real, she is NOT in as much control as she thinks and there’s me and a God who love her and want to show it. My Christian walk has been improved by MILES from where I was. I’m glad he put me in a place where I had to deny myself and my “normal” ways through her and the Navy, because they are integral parts of what got my faith in Jesus Christ to where it is now. I study scripture almost everyday, discern, think positively now, drug free, and I love where He’s going to take me, as well as her and the child we will have. Praise God!

I know it was alot of reading and I’m sorry if I bored any of ya’ll to death, but I have to tell my story to other’s who can relate. God bless you all!

Be Alert, for the Devil your Enemy Prowls Around like a Roaring Lion seeking someone to devour…

I was brought up in a nominal Christian home but became backslidden in my teens, having not really known what it was to know Jesus personally or make a meaningful commitment to Him. I was “confirmed” at the age of 13 in the Church of England. When I was 15 I found boys and that was that for the church really, until I was 20 and training to be a nurse. I had already met my husband to be at this point, but went to church with some friends. I really knew the difference between this church and all previous encounters- these people knew things you did not tell them, and there was a real love between them, also they spoke in tongues, something I had never experienced or heard. But I was committed to my fiance and first thought I could change him. All the while I hung on to the relationship instead I did what was wrong. Eventually I was challenged that I could not be “unevenly yoked with unbelievers” but at this point in my life I chose my fiance. We later got married and I thought I was happy but there was something I knew was missing and I often had black depressions particularly after the birth of my children when I became almost suicidal through post natal depression.

My mum became seriously ill in her early fifties with cancer and suggested while she was ill that I investigate a particular job as I was temping. My mum died when I was still backslidden, and I remember thinking that if God existed I was so angry with him for taking her and for taking my children’s grandmother. Inevitably I sank into depression, but I tried to keep things together for the children. My depression led to dissatisfaction with my marriage, and I was not a great wife. I thought about the idea of a job my mum had suggested and saw an advert for that very job, so applied, and got the job.

I worked there for a number of years, getting closer and closer to the boss who often involved me in projects and meetings particularly, and sought out my advice. In truth she had been quite rude to me when I first started work and reigned more by fear than by loyalty initially, but I forgot this as I became closer to her. Then someone started at work who told me about Jesus, and at first I really pushed her away. It took time and an encounter with a stranger in a church who spoke a Word of wisdom from God straight to my heart, but eventually I came back to Jesus – aged 38.

Some strange things started to happen. I had some dreams- my boss telling me I had been disloyal, and attacking me. Every appliance in the house seemed to go wrong all at once, and my grandmother who I was very close to fell the very day I had visited her and was admitted to hospital, and died a few days later having broken her hip – the week before I was due to be baptised. My friend who had been praying for me became seriously ill and had to leave work- thankfully she is now healed, praise God. Later I was to find out that I had been unknowingly involved in the occult through a family link and my boss had “dedicated” me to the enemy as a bride- the “ceremony” had been due to take place on the day I received a Word of Wisdom and recommitted myself to Christ.

Now I love God so much for having waited patiently all this time for me and for coming looking for me (Luke 15:4). I regret the wasted years when I should have been teaching my three children about him – now they are teenagers and much harder to reach – but God has said he will repay the “years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2: 25). Two of my children have committed themselves to Christ now, and I know that by my conduct my husband and other child will also be won.

Our God is a God of restoration. He allows us a new start (Deut 30:8). However we must never become complacent and “comfortable”. Our enemy is up to many tricks behind our backs and under our noses- who could have thought you could be dedicated to the enemy without permission- yet I have since found it happens to many – even children! Brothers and sisters we must be alert, but I thank God for my “just in time” deliverance or I cannot bear to think what my life may have been now.

Some people may not believe in dreams but i say this to you the Lord communicates with you in many different ways. In 2006 I was devoted to the Lord and i was a strong Christian but all was lost. I still went to church but surely i tell you if the presence of the Lord was there and is no longer there you can feel it. I started clubbing and i was very fond of profanity. But in April this year i came across this testimony that completely changed me. This testimony gave me an insight in things that i did and did not realize that they were wrong which included listening to hip hop music inciting bad behavior, murder, profanity, sexual behavior and all sorts. I stopped listening to hip hop and deleted all of it on my PC and all my movies that in-sighted illicit behavior.

Three weeks after that on a Saturday i was lying in bed and all of a sudden i could not move my body at all for like a few seconds then all of a sudden i could move. But a few more seconds after that i could not move again (remember i was awake) but this time i saw a shadow on th wall of a person coming on top of me and i felt it hold my hand and it wanted to stop me from moving. But without delay i wanted to to say the blood of Jesus but i was speechless, so in my heart i called on the name of the lord until my speech regained and i said the blood of Jesus and the shadow was no more and i could move again.  

Most of my friends that where around me tried to make me drink again and invite me to clubs but i stayed devoted to Christ and he comes first. from that period of me reading the testimony i started inviting friends to church and some came and went but some still want to come and i will invite more and more (the Kingdom of heaven i like a parable of mustard seed). Then after the incident that happened when i was lying in bed i had a dream a week after. In this dream i was in Southend-on-sea High st (England) and there lots of people around me and it was in the afternoon. But as it happened the sun went then the moon also disappeared from the face of the earth and it was dark. People started fighting all over and in this dream i thought of the book of revelations about the end times and pleaded with people to stop what they were doing and repent but they did not listen. I also told them that look at what has happened the Lord may be coming but still they did not listen. Then all of a sudden there was a bright light in the sky and a huge bottle appeared but it remained in the sky and i started glowing and my garments turned white and i started to ascend to this bottle.

This bottle did not open at all but i went through it and in this bottle where people that i did not know and there there was the Lord Jesus Christ. I then asked him why he has left the others behind but he did not tell me. All he said was “you did what you had to do” and we embarked on a journey on this journey it seemed as though we where on a train and we reached at a stop were this lady got in. The Lord Jesus Christ said to her did you know that i was coming? And she said yes because God spoke to her the day before. This lady approached me and said “i know you from somewhere” and i said “where do you know me from and she said, ” You used to live in Pumula (a place i lived in Zimbabwe 19-20 years ago) and i know your mother and she is disabled but she does not know it” as all this was happening the Lord had a list of names on 3 pages of paper of people that he was going collecting. But before i could ask that woman what she meant about my mum being disabled i woke up.

This dream shows sings of the end times that we are living and must be prepared for the coming of the Lord. if you have any friends or relatives that you know and need saving! share the Gospel with them. Tell people about the word and if they do not accept you then the Lord will be you witness and their blood will be in their own hands.

I think the Lord has an assignment for me to introduce him to his children that do not know him and that have lost their way or those who have not recieved Christ as their personal savior. If you haven’t received Christ as your own  personal savior i suggest you do so now without delay.

When I was 5 I went through a lot.Most of it caused me to build walls around myself so that no one could hurt me ,but that left me feeling lonely. My first time hearing about Jesus was at school. Back then my parents were Christians but I wasn’t aware of it, nor would they share their faith.

So many things were going on around me, at times I’d feel alone or upset. I would sit around sometimes and just draw or I would get myself into trouble for things like cutting my hair or using things that weren’t mine.

I distinctively remember being 18mnths and taking my own trip to the beach. My parents we surprised that I managed to get past the 7 foot gate. They were very much pleased that I had crossed the road without getting hit by a car. I can say today that God’s hand was always and still is on my life.

I want to recap to when I was 5,back then I would go to sleep knowing that someone was watching me and I could feel God’s presence in the midst of my pain and joy.

I wanted to find out more about this Jesus and what he was like. I thought it was just a story,the only part I got was that he created the earth. So by the time I was 7 it was the time when my mum got divorced, I lost friends, School wasn’t working and didn’t seem important.

A while later I was sent to live with my mum. My mum seemed happier and despite our financial and physical situation I felt safe and loved more than ever. A lot went on in my life but God was always there guarding my mind from the worst of it all. I then got invited to go to church one Sunday with my family. It was great seeing people and singing songs,it was like a party. I never understood the point in church or why people were saying the name of Jesus.

When I was 9 I was still trying to find out the purpose for my life and who Jesus was. I finally got the answer when I was 11 years old and at a camp. I’d heard a third time that Jesus loved me for real,that He died for my sins,that he wanted to be my friend and that he was my heavenly father and that he was different than anyone else on this planet. That he wanted a place in my life and that if I asked him he would be a part of my life.

It finally stuck to my heart that He was real. I was like that makes perfect sense,he’s the person who watches me.What took me so long to figure that one out? Why wasn’t I told this from the beginning?

I then decided to give my life over to God not realizing that later I’d be back to square 1 after backsliding. I truly thought that If I said all the right things,did all the right things when people were watching then I would still be a Christian. When I heard the ten commandments for the first time I felt so fake.I knew that I had messed things up so bad,not only was I a fake christian but I understood that I  was a sinner.

I wanted to get my life sorted with God with him being  the leader,the center,the focus of my life. I learned so much from then onwards and still alot today. Its not by our works that we please God but by faith.

When I was 14 I was at a friends church and I felt so strongly the presence of God. I never knew that God would speak through people to share what he wanted to say to me. It all made sense and I felt loved and appreciated by God. He told me things that changed my life and my perspective of Him.

Today I am still walking with the Lord and growing deeper in my relationship with him. I’m in a season where faith is needed and things are being revealed.I’m trying to be patient and know that I can trust God to lead me to where he wants me. Its hard at times but I know what his word says .If he says that he’ll never leave me nor forsake me then I must choose to believe that.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

When I read his word and speak to him it fills me up and gives me strength to go through things daily. I’ll be 16 on August 14th and it will be 6 years since I gave my life to God and 10 years since I first heard His name. Without him I’m nothing,with him I have purpose, hope, love, joy and more than what the world or someone else could offer.

I’m am free.