*Before you read this, I’m just letting you know that my testimony isn’t really like that exciting, but it does have emotional moments.
My Testimony
Hi! My name is Nneka Okeke and got saved when I 16. Here is how:
When I was younger I was a really weird kid. I was the kid who was nice and friendly on the outside but not on the inside. On the inside I was really dark, empty and alone. This made prevalent by what I wrote in my diary. At that time, I used to write about murder, suffering, and infatuation. I didn’t write only about the suffering of my enemies, I also wrote about the suffering of my friends and family.
To me, everyone was my enemy, and when I was younger, I considered myself evil. No one, ever knew that. You would be horrified of all the evil things I wrote about people in my diary. I could say that I was “evil” that time because I had a lot going on. I argued with my parents, I wanted stuff I couldn’t have and I always thought of myself as the victim. I think what will get you the most is that everything I wrote about myself so far was before I even got to Grade 6.
After Grade 5 I moved schools. It was a lot better then, I had a lot of friends I changed a lot. I was like I was before but at the same time I was. I fantasied worldly and material things, such as fame and fortune. I still had my diary, from when I was younger but, I changed it to a journal. I didn’t however write about pain, murder or suffering. I wrote about what happened in my life. I even let my friends write in that journal too. It may have seemed innocent of the outside, but really it had a lot of aspects of sin in it. I can tell you now, it had a lot of lust and dishonour. In that time, I made friends with a person named Zack. He was really “religious” and I thought at that time it was really weird. (He is very important in my testimony) We were not close friends at the time.
Now, skipping on to Grade 8. At that time I really wanted to know more about myself, I wanted to feel special. I started to get involved in the New Age Movement. It basically started off with a misunderstanding. I first started with zodiacs and then it went into astrology and so on. Where was my misunderstanding, I thought that astrology and all that stuff was a part of Christianity. I know, I was very naïve. It got really crazy, when “angels” got involved. It started with a few books, then a lot of books. Then I was a firm believer in that. I spoke to angels, I supposedly talked to the dead and meditated. I was even taking notes from the books I read to remember all of this. Throughout my time of doing this, there was always that repressed thought:
“Where is God in all of this?”
Every single time I repressed that thought, it became quieter, until it could no longer be heard. I continued with astrology and all that stuff until Grade 10. (I was in Grade 8 when I started, if I remember correctly.) The more I got into that stuff, the more I got so deceived. I got so deceived to the point that I thought I was an angel. I thought I could talk to them and stuff. I can tell you, it felt so real. I thought I knew more than anyone else.
Whenever I look back on this it makes me want to cry about how stupid I was. It makes me happier though because God delivered me out of this, and I can tell you, it ain’t worth it. I feel God protected me somewhat too because, whenever I tried to summon these “angels” or try to do stuff to myself like astral projection it didn’t really work. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t involved, I then still heard voices in my head of these supposed “angels” telling me what to do and I followed them, willingly. It was all from that misunderstanding that I got into this. If I actual read the bible at the time I would see God says “NEVER GET INVOVLED WITH THIS”. I know now it is to protect us from demons disguised as angels of light. Now this is how God started me on a journey to him:
I was in Grade 10, I was a horrible time in high school. My grades were low and I got into constant fights with my parents and siblings. I wasn’t alone though. I had a friend, as you is Zack, who wasn’t having the time of his life either. We had a spare together, and we loved to talk about religion together at the time.
We talked about how high school was going for each other. We tried to help each other out. Meanwhile, we also talked about things related to astrology, but very loosely. It was about dreams and how we could be angels one day and stuff. We actual talked about a lot of things related to religion.
One day, he wanted to start a bible journey. I decided to join him, mainly for the fact that I didn’t want him to be alone in it. That day, he started sending me bible verses to read, I read them, I did but my interest was somewhere else. That night, the very first book of the bible that I decided to read fully was the book of revelation.
Let me tell you now, I understood none of it. I took everything literally. I thought a dragon was going to come out of the sea, literally. That people would actually get some literal mark on their hand and stuff. I can tell you now, I was terrified. I did pray to God for understanding though, and it came very slowly. It came through the internet and my friend Zack.
I did read the bible but I never actually prayed, I didn’t know what the concept of being born-again was. As a blessing though, God made it so my first semester of grade 10 ended nicely. I tried to rely on God more for things, but I never really got that concept too. It was after God helped me that I stopped communication with Him and took things back into my own control.
It wasn’t until a few months later, that I had a really calling from God to accept him. During those few months though, I was researching about Christianity though, and I learnt what it meant to follow Jesus. In around September I had a false conversion, and I was not actually saved. God showed me then that I didn’t put him first and that is why I fell back into sin. Now, in December of 2016 I finally accept Jesus Christ as my Saviour. I am excited to see where takes me next on this journey with Him.
Thanks for reading my testimony till the end. I hope this inspires you with your walk with God too.
~Nneka Okeke
