First I want to start off by saying how grateful I am that there is a site like this where you can share with other believers things that you are going through. In 2007 I was involved with this guy for 3 years and we lived together, and yes I was aware that that was wrong because we weren’t married but I loved him so much I didnt want to leave. In the beginning everything was Great we were so in love with one another we hated being separated even for a day. Then in 2009 things started to change, we started arguing a lot and he wanted me to move out. He became more distant and I tried whatever i could to make Him happy. But to no avail.

So I would pray and pray but nothing would change. I started asking God what he wanted me to do, if he wanted me to move out but stay in the same state or move out of state to where my family lived which I REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO DO! I felt God was telling me to move to where my family was, I didn’t want to believe it so I kept praying the same thing over and over, meanwhile things between me and the guy seemed to be getting worse. I felt that he was seeing someone behind my back, I was SO stressed up I started developing stomach pains regularly I couldn’t eat anything without getting sick to the point I ended up going to the ER. I was so confused I didn’t know what to do, I had three dreams that Him and I were going to get married but the day of the wedding we never got to say our vows it was like something wasn’t complete. So I was thinking is this God telling me He is the one for me?? So that made it harder and again I didn’t want to leave.

But like I said before the living situation just wasn’t good, we argued and I started to feel uncomfortable there and hurt because I felt there was something else. So I finally gathered strength one day and packed and left. I felt that God wanted me out of there and if I would’ve stayed any longer my Life probably would’ve been really rocked and I would’ve gotten really hurt because God was trying to let me know I needed to leave but i wouldn’t. And i know sometimes God tries to get our attention gently but then he has to take drastic measures sometimes to get our attention. So I am thankful to God that i got out when I did. So I moved in Sept of 2010, the first 4 months we’d communicate via text but now that has stopped completely! I have not contacted him because I think its best for me to heal. And he just hasn’t contacted me for whatever reason.

I still think about Him everyday and still have feelings for him. I keep praying for God to heal my broken heart. I forgot to mention that since I’ve moved near my family one night my sister had a dream about him that he was talking to his cousin telling him how much he was in love with me and that he’d be waiting for the day that we got back together. In that dream there were a lot of details that my sister told me, which there was NO WAY of her knowing because I never told her about. So I dunno what this all means. I have been praying to God and asking Him if He is the one for me, that he would let me know and if he isn’t the one for me i asked God to take him out of my heart and my mind. I DO want the guy that GOD wants for me because I know that it’ll be the RIGHT person, not who i want. So now I’m just waiting on God to answer me, and trusting that he’ll remove the pain from my heart. Oh and I’ve already asked God to forgive me for living the way I was and I’ve asked God to forgive Him for the things that he’s done to me. I ask that whomever reads this, it would mean sooo much if you could please pray for me! Thank You and God Bless.

13 Responses to “Waiting On God While Hurting”

  1. Angelaine Says:


    I can relate to your story having been depressed and in despair over a relationship that ended over 3 years ago.

    I too loved this guy intensely and felt he was “The One” and like you I cried out to God to bring us back together if it was His will.

    We sometimes think that we are surrendered to the will of God but if we are honest – we are really not – what we are really hoping for is that God will bless our will.

    While I understand your pain – I need to be honest with you. It is not difficult to know the will of God. He makes His will clear in his revealed word, the Bible. If this guy you are in love with is an unbeliever then it is a given that he is not the man God has chosen for you. It is definitely not the will of God for you to live in sin or to be sexually involved with a man you are not married to.

    Break the sexual and emotional soul tie you have with this man in the spirit realm through the power of the Holy Spirit and pray it sincerely from your heart.

    Walk away from this guy and don’t look back. Realise that if he really loved you then he would actively be seeking to reconcile with you. From what you tell me he doesn’t seem to be doing this, and I get the impression that it is what you want more than what he wants.

    Make Jesus your all, genuinely surrender your heart,will and emotions to Him and let Him be “The One” who is enough for you. When you reach this place where the Great love of God is enough for you, then you will find that your heart will heal. Jesus will heal you through his great love, mercy and tenderness. All you will ever need is in Jesus.

    I say these things in love, please dont waste your time on a guy who only seems to be bringing you heartache. God wants more for you and don’t let the enemy decceive you into thinking that God wants you to go back – he did this with me for over 3 years and that kept me in bondage.

    Once your will is COMPLETELY surrendered to God, then the enemy has nothing to tempt you with.

    Trust God to bring the right man into your life, who will cherish, protect and honour you in commitment and marriage & together you can both serve the Lord. I believe that is Gods perfect will for us.

    God will heal your broken heart – but you need to first repent of your sin and I mean genuine repentance – that is do not sin in any future relationship either with this guy or any other guy and God will honour your obedience. Any guy who is worthwhile will not defile you in that way, he will respect you and honour your decision to remain pure until marriage.

    I know this is probably not what you want to hear but I hope in the long run this will help you.

    And remember – if God wants you to reconcile with this guy – He is more than able to make that happen so don’t stay in the enemys trap – break free, move on with your live in Jesus. There is such joy in knowing the Lord more intimately and serving Him. Make that your priority now.

    Be Blessed.

  2. minz Says:

    I understand your situation.

    Well,living together before marriage is not a good thing according to Bible.

    God has set his plan in action. Just wait for some more time. Pray to God, and get more near to Him.

    In my case what happened is I started loving my guy more than anything. That is,He became the world for me. And I admit I became less spiritual also. Because of that God distanced both of us for a period. I asked God why the separation. He told me giving me a sign when I asked Him that He wanted to clean us and then make us have a deeper bond. He strengthened my faith and told me to continue pray for my guy,so that he gets more close to God.

    I miss him dearly. I pray for him everyday. Waiting for God’s action.

    What I did is,I was constantly crying for many days after the break up. So then one night i cried and cried and asked God why am I hurt? Please help me. I don’t want to be a crybaby in front of all. At night I cried and begged him to give me a sign if I should continue to pray for him or not. God gave me a sign the very next morning I got up.

    God answers us. And if it is God’s plan how much ever your distance from each other you will be together again.

    Make sure you get more close to God in this period. Whenever you feel sad,keep praying to God. Talk to God. Ask God to guide you.

    Be in touch.I am sure after cleaning both of you,God will set His plan in action.

  3. AsianJesusLover Says:

    Praise the Lord Blessed daughter of Christ….i have gone through the same situation, i got separated from my beloved one but it was necessary not only for my eternal life but also for his eternal salvation in christ, we might feel abondened for a little while but it is NEEDED for our eternal joy so be happy sister, rejoice in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

    I prayed earnestly for you sister as I myself have gone through the same situation but our Lord does not want sacrifice he wants to be merciful to us so keep praying, the Lord gave me these verse only for you in my prayers…..

    I will bring back my exiled people Israel;

    they will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them.

    They will plant vineyards and drink their wine;

    they will make gardens and eat their fruit.

    15I will plant Israel in their own land,

    never again to be uprooted

    from the land I have given them,”

    says the Lord your God.

  4. AsianJesusLover Says:

    I was not able to forgive my beloved one and i cried out to God to heal my broken heart, he honored my prayers, he healed me completely just one night by giving me strength to forgive him, it was his appointed time to heal my broken heart, he has an appointed time for you to be healed as well so dear keep praying, he will surely heal you one day, its very soon, praise and glory to Jesus forever amen

  5. DoNotBoastAboutTomorrow Says:

    This is a message reply to Minz.

    I dated a guy for 3 years, and just this past December we broke up. Our relationship was more of a best friend relationship, which was so great, he is an absolute amazing guy. He always knew what he wanted in his life, to be a musician. He is a hard core Christian born and raised, and same with me. We attend the same church, and the same youth group. We were happy a lot in our relationship, but we argued a lot too, but our arguments were due to my insecurity. We first stared dating when I was 17, and now I am just about to turn 20.

    He and I are still great friends, and were both in the worship band at my church. I miss him like crazy though, because I always thought he would be the one I was going to marry. He always said the same to me, and we were always best friends, which is what made our relationship amazing. He broke up with me, for his reasons that he wasn’t happy about where he was in his life, and needed to be alone, he needed space,and just be alone with God for awhile. To find himself. When we first broke up he told me “If I get married, it’s going to be you or nobody.” This was said the day after we broke up.

    I have had a lot of things go on in my life the past 3 years. I found out my dad had an affair on my mom, my grandpa passed away, my sister moved away, my brother moved out, I went through 5 surgeries in 6 months, serious surgeries while trying to graduate Highschool and failing classes due to missing so much school, I also eventually graduated, and moved away to college. . . these are all things that were SOOOOOOOOO difficult for me. I treated him badly at times during all this, and I regret a lot, but I know it was because of my own insecurity. We have been broken up for almost 6 months now, and I still miss him like crazy.

    Every time I see him I am so happy, and am reminded of everything we went through, how he was beside me every step along the way through these 3 years… he is truely my best friend. He just recently began talking to a friend of mine, they talk EVERYDAY all day long. They talk about everything, but she says its nothing, that they don’t like eachother and its fine, I beleive them, it just hurts so much, because I can barely ever talk to him.

    During these past 6 months, I have grown up and matured so much. I am at a place with God that I have never been before, and its a beautiful spot. I am so happy about where I am with God. I am not against us breaking up what so ever not at all. Because I know it’s great for this season, for a time. This doesn’t mean I don’t not love him anymore, and I guess it’s just hard, because I still love him, and I feel like he just doesn’t care anymore, that I’m nothing to him anymore, and it hurts because all the stuff I went through he was there for me, and those are HUGE landmarks in my life I will never forget, which makes this so much harder to try and get over him.

    We are completely compatible, we both love God, we both have futures that would work perfectly together, we both have the desire to get married to somebody one day, to both have kids, because of my family and my father cheating on my mom, and his parents being divorced, we both want to have amazing futures and lives, and raise an amazing family, because we love God so much, we go to the same church. He is a musician, and I am a photographer, and I sing in the worship band as well. We both have the desire and heart for children and for youth, to help people during difficult times, because we’ve been through so much we want to help others find their way. And although we have all this in commen, and we have a history, a great relationship, minus that things were tough at times, that we break up, and I don’t get it. I get why we broke up, but now its just simply like, he just doesn’t like me you know? He just doesn’t like me anymore, and ITS SO HARD TO BELIEVE because of how much he loved me when we were together, and now it just all seems to be gone you know? It hurts, it makes me so sad, because how I see a relationship, how I see what I want in a marriage is to marry my best friend, I love kissing and hugging and holding hands its all great, but in the end what I care most about is that I will be able to laugh with my husband, that I’ll be married to my best friend, and I just feel, He is my best friend you know? And we still are best friends now, it’s just I can tell he just doesn’t like me that way anymore, it’s just all gone, and its so hard to grasp.

    I pray to God “God you know the desires of my heart but I want your will for my life God, I want your will for me, you word declares you have a plan and purpose for everything, you say all things work together for good, and if Mike is part of your will for me great, and if he isn’t then great as well, because in the end God I want your will for my life, its all I want, because I know it’s going to be amazing.”

    I know God has a plan for my life I guess in the end I just don’t get why it couldn’t be Mike that I would be with in the end. This doesn’t mean he isn’t, it just feels that way because Mike and I barely really talk anymore, and I just really really feel, he just doesn’t like me like that anymore and I just don’t get it. I don’t have to get it though, because God has a plan. This is all over the place this comment, but this is my situation, and I just I hurt and I miss him so much, and I love him, and he is honestly an amazing guy, he is the man I want to marry, and theres nothing wrong with him that goes off the list of the man I would want to marry, and I guess I just don’t get it, and I want to get it.

    He and I are both going away to a worship school this summer for a month, we’ll be seeing each other everyday for an entire month and we leave in about 14 days. I am so excited for this experience I am going to have at the Worship school, but I know it’s going to be hard to see him everyday for an entire month.. to see the man you love everyday, the man that use to love me, but doesn’t anymore. I hurts, and I don’t get it.

    I mean He could be the man I marry for all I know, I am only 20 years old, and have the rest of my life. I guess I am looking for advice, how should I act around him? You know? Should I disappear, and not talk to him? Avoid him? because that feels wrong, but also kind of feels like what he is doing to me. Is there any men out there that could maybe give me some kind of insight on why it’s this way?

    I trust in God completely and in the end none of this matters about how he feels or anything, but I am sucker for love, and I miss him, I miss my best friend.

    God Bless.

  6. gtargtar Says:

    Sis, keep seeking God for the answer, you need direct confirmation between you and God too.

    I’d like you to read my post here concerning relationships:

  7. Glittersparkles Says:

    Thank You Everyone for all of your support and prayers! Reading your responses Really Help! I’m Still praying and believing and just waiting on God.

  8. ibelieve Says:

    Even though the end of the testimony is not finished, its encouraging to hear that ur not alone. I think the best thing is to draw closer to God n kno His love. N pray tat He heals ur heart, but remember sometimes for a wound to heal it must first open up again. Just pray for grace n for God’s perfect will not His permissive will.

  9. EMS Says:

    Dear Waiting On God While You are Hurting,
    First, I want to say that your courage to leave is to be commended. Please do not be to hard on yourself we have all made mistakes. I think its great the way you are seeking God for your answer.God is faithful so keep trusting and believing in him.I believe God has someone great for you. So just take this time to heal and care for yourself. It is stated in Gods word “That he Heals the broken heart and bind up there wounds”.I will keep you in my prayers.Please read the “serenity prayer” and keep trusting God. Many Blessings to You While You Heal.

  10. God's Flower Says:

    I dated an unsaved “Mr Good” guy for almost two years. All was perfect and he wanted to marry me. We were friends before the relationship so that made things easier. He was the man of my dreams. I did not ask God if he was the one, i only asked God to save him and bless us for marriage. God did not answer. I told him no plans of marriage would start unless God confirmed. While i was waiting for confirmation. God asked me to end the relationship. That was the most painful thing to do, he hadn’t done anything wrong, all was well. I did not know where to start, i got sick, i called friends for prayers. I tried to negotiate with God but HE simply said “End it” i eventually gained strength and told the guy the truth. He was very angry, we lost contact. I apologised and both of us did not understand why i had to end the relationship.

    I was so mad, broken, finished. Little did i know that there was a guy from church who had been praying for a wife and God had confirmed me. And he sort of knew i was in an unGodly relationship and had to wait. When he approached me i did not want to hear a thing but i submitted all in God and to the elders of our church and we got prayed for. They all received confirmations that i was the one but i wanted to hear directly from God as well. God confirmed it, we are getting married soon. While i was busy with the previous guy, God was training my husband how to love me, i cried when he showed me the book where he wrote all he received from God about me. Good and new things i did not know about myself. While i was sinning with the previous guy, someone was on training, in tears, waiting. I chose to obey God, we are walking in obedience, no sex before marriage.

    I did share with my God-given husband all about the previous guy and we prayed. My sisters in Christ, be encouraged, God loves us and HE has greatest things for us, set aside, waiting for our total surrender. What i have learned is love is not flesh but it is Spiritual as God is love and God is spirit. To be carnally minded is death but to be Spiritually minded is life. DO NOT ENTER in a relationship that God has not confirmed. I pray that no one goes to what i went through. Don’t ask God for a blessing to marry. God blessed us after creating us in HIS image and likeness right at the beginning in Genesis. Ask if that man is the one. God cannot lie.

  11. Stephanie Says:

    Hello Ladies,

    I just want to say I have been there where we fall in love with someone and we think that they are the one and we use all our time and energy praying for them and only to find out one day that they where not it. The one is God and him only. We as women want someone in our lives and we want to be loved and to love but we become so comsumed with tyring to be with a man that we lose ourselves. God called us to him for a reason and a purpose, so lives can be saved. It we are so consumed with self we can never do the work God wants us to do. If there is anything or anyone in your life that is more important than your relationship with God than you are causing yourself undo heartache and pain. The enemy tricks us everything with desires and wants that God has nothing to do with and we spen al our time and energy trying to pray and ask God his will and you already know what his will is. If he where to put that person back into your life you would go right back to sinning, having sex outside of marriage and putting that person first even before yourself. Love yourself first, quit giving away your body, soul to someone who really does not care enough to make a commitment. God loves us women more than we know, He wants the very best for us and ony he know what that is. We have got to wake up, the power is inside us women and we do not even know it. When the thought of that man comes to your mind and you have to cry or beg than right there you need to fast and pray and get your mind back on Christ. We have all been in this stronghold even men and it needs to be broken. Yes, I can say all of this because I have been there and God had to wake me up to the truth because I kept holding on to something I need ed to let go of, and when you hold on to something how in the world can god send you something else????? Your missing a blessing hold on to something so tight and God is trying to get you to let it go. Please ladies let go.

  12. Tyla Says:

    I was in a relationship for over 3 years. As I was very young when I met him, I became scared that I had not yet found myself, and him not found himself either. I became unsure of weather or not I was suppose to be with him. What made it worse was he was crazy inlove with me, and was more than a perfect man of God. We had what I could say as a perfect relationship, that everyone looked up to. I started becoming very distant from him as I was so unsure, and in the process began to really hurt him, he never said anything though, as he just wanted to be with me regardless. After feeling like this and seeing how I was hurting him, I decided to end it. As I was unsure and couldn’t continue hurting him. I began to pray that if God wanted me to be with him, that he would fill me with that total in love feeling towards him. In not even two days, I began to feel this, I missed him. Eventually after telling him this all, he felt the same but kept saying he knows its not the right time. I was hurt, felt stupid, as I was the one left heart broken, this man..he means the world to me. I even began to blame God in thinking, God why would you make me so in love with him, if he feels it is not right yet. Why would you let me be heart broken? As the days continued, many many tears followed, I went through the darkest and most difficult times of my life, and now…thinking back, the only one who lifted me through it was God. My relationship with God was taken to a level that some people dream of, were he is my only rock, and I now hold courage strength and an unshakeable faith because of the God who is in me. He has allowed me to help so many people and has enabled me to understand his heart and what he has always wanted for me. Even though I found myself in this upliftment with God, I still was unsure. One night while feeling very down I began to cry out to God, as I did not understand what he was doing. He told me that if I carry on seeking his heart..I would find my ex boyfriends heart again, he told me that my boyfriend was not ready yet, God was preparing him as a man of God, because that is the type of love his daughter deserves. I remember just crying, thinking that what made me so special that my father would do that all for me, after I had even blamed him for my hurt. The next day in church I remember just crying, and thanking God that he had saved me all the heart breaks, that I am so blessed as to already know my partner, it was wierd because I didn’t even think of it, the rojoicing with those words just began to poor out through me. This has been the hardest journey of my life, and now I find myself just having to be patient and having to rely on his timing …when he will also be ready, as I am now. Some days are so hard, but God has already conquered them. While I am waiting, I look back at every situation and see how God was present and how he lead me. God wants us to be together, but as him as our foundation. God wants us to know the love and gifts he promises. So I’m waiting on his timing, while others might have given up, my God has been my hope. Waiting on his Glory that will shine, building on his testimony! Thank you God, for in due time, I will reap! Just know, people and things will come your way, keep your focus on God and on his word..and he will lift you up on wings like eagles! Be blessed xx

  13. Jo Says:

    After reading all the posts i feel a lot better and i thank God for all the testimonies.I am going through a difficult time now. I was in a relationship with a guy for 8 years and now i had to breakup with him because my family opposed our relation and i didnt want anything in my life inviting anyone’s tears. Instead i believed God would unite us in his time. And when i told him this he was completely hurt and left me.He didnt even try to call me back.As far as i know him he is a very good person with a beautiful and loving heart and even when i told him to wait for God’s time and not to have any other plans i believed he would hold on because he loved me and respected me always. We didnt keep in touch after that talk and in few months i heard his marriage is fixed which broke my heart completely and threw me to depression. It resulted in me having breathing problems,severe and throbbing headaches for which im taking medicines. He meant a lot to me. Eventhough i was apart from him,eventhough i asked him to wait for God’s time i was praying and crying that he would hold on. I was not able to give up on him and even now i dont know why my heart still needs him even after hearing the news about his wedding. I always question myself how could he move on so fast and how is he able to prepare himself to live a life with some one else which we both dreamt together. I always prayed for only one thing that i need my family and him in my life. I never prayed for one group. I needed both my family and him. I believe in the love God has for us. Though i sinned in my relationship i was never replaced by God. God would have had the hope that one day i will return to him because me and God,we both shared a very close relationship and when the guy i love came into my relationship i unknowingly gave my God’s place to him and that’s why i am suffering this pain. But still God never let go of me and he didnt give my place to anyone and when i went to God crying i could feel his loving arms surrounding me giving me the strength i need for each day. I am working and when all these were happening my collegues who didnt know about these problems used to scold me for not having concentration in my work because i was not able to bring myself together. I believe in God’s love of waiting for us sinners without replacing us and that’s the reason why i am holding on to the belief that the guy i love will come back someday realising that i didnt leave him but i was only waiting for God to work in our life. I am here now typing this because of God’s grace because i was hurt by my family and by him and i lived
    without both of their love for few months which i thought i wouldnt live through. Now i have my family but i dont have him and the place i gave him in my heart is still waiting for him. When i think i cant bear my pain i look at the blessings God gave me where i can see myself in pain during those days and the last minute when i give up hope is the time when God worked. This too i believe God will work and i will wait for his time and i will wait for him just as God waited for me without replacing me. If you are reading this please pray for me because i believe in prayers and how wonderfully prayers can do miracles.

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